The kitchen is flooded with light and I find Mr. Jacobson at the kitchen table, where he’s putting together a jigsaw puzzle. “Morning, sunshine,” he says. “Sleep well?”
I smile. “I did, actually.” But I wish I hadn’t fallen asleep.
“Good. You probably needed it,” he says quietly. I close my computer and hitch it under my arm.
His voice is soft and not at all like the Mr. Jacobson I’ve known since I was sixteen. Now he’s different. He stares into my eyes, his blue gaze shiny like oysters in a shell. “Is everything all right?” I ask him. Why is he up at this hour?
He nods slowly. “I’m a little worried about my boy.”
“Jake?”
“That’s the only boy I have,” he retorts, sounding a little more like himself.
“Why are you worried?” I pull out a chair and sit down across from him without him even inviting me to do so.
“He’s had a tough year.” He attaches one piece of the puzzle to another, pushing it to make it tight.
“He told me a little about it.”
“Did he tell you about Laura?”
I nod. “A little.”
“He was a mess for a while.”
“He looks like he has it together now.”
He nods. “He’s getting there.” He looks down to put together another piece of the puzzle. “So don’t break him again, okay?”
I lay a hand on my chest. “You think I’m going to break him?” Surely he doesn’t mean that.
“He’s needy right now.”
No, he’s not. He’s just Jake.
“I think you’re needy too.”
I am. I can’t help it. “Do you want me to go?”
He shakes his head. “When your dad called me and told me your situation, I didn’t think Jake would be here, so I didn’t realize there could be problems. Then he saw you, and he immediately had a light in his eyes that I haven’t seen in months. He has a skip in his step, and I’m not worried he’s going to go on a bender again any time soon.”
“That’s good, right?”
“It’ll be good until you leave to go back to your life. Then you’ll break his heart. And my boy has had enough heartbreak this year.”
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t hurt Jake.”
“You wouldn’t do it on purpose. But you’ll do it.”
“I won’t,” I protest.
“You will. You won’t even realize it. Neither will he. But you’ll be gone, and the light in his eyes will go dim.”
“I won’t hurt him.”
He stares into my eyes. “Don’t.”
I shake my head again. “I won’t. We’re just friends.”
“You need saving, and he’s in the mood to save someone so he can avoid his own problems.”
I get to my feet. “I don’t need saving.”
“I invited you to come here. I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known Jake was going to be here and you’d be…” He looks down at my stomach. “…you’d be like you are,” he finishes. “I thought you were just running from trouble. Not that you’d be the trouble.”
“I’m not trouble, Mr. Jacobson.” I stare hard at him, watching for clues. “If you want me to leave, just say so. I can find somewhere else to stay.”
He shakes his head. “I need to keep my eye on Jake. And I’d prefer to keep an eye on you, too.”
I throw up my hands. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“When you leave and take all that with you”–he motions from my head to my toes with a sweep of his hand–“take care with his heart, okay?”
“Okay.” I nod. “I will. You know that what was between me and Jake was in the past, right?”
He snorts. “Yeah. Sure. That’s why he’s at your house with your kids so you can get some rest.”
“Jake would do that for anyone.”
He makes another rude sound with his nose. “Jake has been in love with you for eighteen years.”
“Jake was married to someone else,” I remind him. “So was I.”
“But you’re not anymore. Neither one of you.”
I heave a sigh. “I need to get home.”
“You mind what I said, you hear?” He warns me with a look.
“Yes, sir.” I give him a smart salute and start for the door.
“I need a ride to the doctor tomorrow,” he calls to my back.
I turn back and point to my chest. “Do you want me to take you?”
He shakes his head. “No. I asked Gabby to drive for me.”
“Why can’t Jake take you?”
“Jake needs to stay with you.”
“Why?”
“I sometimes get a feeling in these old bones.” He rubs his knee.
A chill skitters up my spine. “What kind of feeling?
He chuckles. “A feeling like Jake needs to stay here with you.” He clears his throat. “You going to let Gabby drive me or what?”
“As long as Gabby’s okay with it, it’s fine with me.”
“She’s a good kid,” he says. He finally smiles at me. “Reminds me of you at that age. Too smart for her own good. Too kind. Too pretty.”
I don’t know if that’s good or not.
“You done good with your family, Katie.”
“Thank you.”
“You done good…until you didn’t.”
I nod, and my throat suddenly closes, and I get choked with emotion. “I’m working on it.”
He turns back to his puzzle and I can tell that I’ve been dismissed.
I let myself out and see the golf cart sitting at the foot of the steps.
Mr. Jacobson opens the door to tell me, “Take the cart!”
“Thank you!” I call back.
“Whatever,” he murmurs. Then he closes the door.
24
Jake
Pop is going to love this. I look down and wiggle my toes. I have pink toenails. “They’re almost as pretty as Sally’s,” I say.
Trixie smiles up at me from her perch by my feet.
“I can’t believe you let her do that,” Alex taunts.
Neither can I.
Alex stands across from us, tossing the ball. It’s ten o’clock at night, and I’m pretty sure the kids are usually in bed by now, but their mom is still asleep in my bed. The oldest is curled up on the couch reading a book. “What time do you guys usually go to bed?” I ask.
“Whenever we get tired,” Alex says. He tosses the ball into the air again.
I immediately want to blurt out the word bullshit, but Trixie giggles, Alex chuckles, and Gabby rolls her eyes every time I say a curse word, so I’m trying to watch my language.
Gabby lays her book down on the arm of the couch and stands. “Liar,” she says to Alex. She motions toward both of the younger kids, in a mother-hen shooing motion. “Time for bed, you two.”
With some moaning and groaning, they walk toward the bedroom, and I hear them shuffling around as Gabby gets them into their pajamas. She comes out a few minutes later. Trixie is right behind her, and she has a book stuck under her arm. She’s wearing pajamas with little fairies on them, and she has on fuzzy, colorful socks that don’t match. “Will you read me a book?” she asks me, standing beside the arm of the chair where I’m sitting.
Gabby motions Trixie toward her. “Bring it here,” she says. “I’ll do it.”
“I want Jake to do it,” Trixie says quietly. She steps over Sally to get closer to me. Then she climbs into my lap, all elbows and knees, and settles with her back against my chest.
Well, okay…
I take the book from her and open it up.
“She knows it by heart,” Gabby says. “Mom reads it every night.”
Trixie turns the page to the beginning of the story.
“I’ve never read this book,” I tell her.
She looks up at me with her bright blue eyes so clear and trusting. “You’ll love it. It’s a really good book.”
“I’m sure I will.”
I kiss her on the forehead, just because it’s there, and she settles deeper against me. Then I start to read. I read until she goes soft against me and stops turning pages. I read long after I think she’s asleep, just to be sure she is.
“She’s out,” Gabby says quietly. She gets up and opens her arms. “I’ll take her to bed.”
“I can do it.” I stand up, hoisting Trixie gently in my arms.
“Bottom bunk,” Gabby says.
I take the limp bundle in my arms to the bed, pull the covers back, and settle her. She turns to face the wall, and rests her hands beneath her face. I cover her up, tucking the blankets around her. Then something pushes against my leg. I look down and find Sally with one paw on the bed, like he’s waiting for me to move. I step back and he hoists himself up, spins around once, and settles down beside Trixie. He lifts his head long enough to give me a look like “I got this.” Then he heaves out a huge sigh and closes his eyes.
I look up and find Alex already asleep. His left foot is hanging off the edge of the top bunk, so I poke him gently until he rolls over, pulling his foot with him.
When I go back out to the living room, Gabby has pulled out the sofa bed and she’s already in it. That takes up all the space in the room. I look around, and finally go into the kitchen and fall into a chair. I drum my fingertips on the table, looking at my watch.
I left a note for Katie telling her to sleep as long as she wanted, that I would take care of the kids. Does that mean she’s going to stay until morning?
Gabby pads into the room on socked, whispering feet. “Are you spending the night?” she asks.
I shrug. “Just until your mom gets back, I guess.”
“You can go. I can watch the kids.”
I shake my head. Not after that note I saw on Katie’s computer–the one she never did explain to me. “I’m going to stay.”
“You should go sleep in her room, then. No one is using it.” She gets a drink of water and goes back into the other room.
She’s right. There’s no reason not to go lie down. “Are the little kids going to be okay if I go to sleep?”
She laughs. “You don’t think Mom stays awake twenty-four/seven to watch them sleep, do you?”
I scratch my head. “I guess not.”
“I’ll hear them if they wake up,” Gabby says. “Go ahead.”
“I’ll listen out for them,” I say.
“Mm-hmm,” she hums. But she’s already lying back down.
I turn to walk toward Katie’s room and Gabby calls out, “Hey Jake.”
I spin back around. “Yeah?”
“Thanks for staying,” she says. Then she closes her eyes.
I lie down on Katie’s bed and close my eyes.
It seems like only moments later when the bed dips under the weight of another person. “Jake,” someone whispers.
“Hm?” I ask, but my eyes don’t want to open.
“Jake,” someone says again. Finally, I force my eyes open. I find Katie looking down at me. “I’m home.”
“Good,” I say, and I close my eyes again. “I missed you.”
She laughs, and I feel the covers rustle. “Why are you on top of the covers?”
“It’s not my bed,” I reply.
She touches my arm. “You’re cold.”
“A little.” I rub my face, trying to wake up. “Are the kids okay?”
“I just checked on them. They’re fine.”
“I should go,” I say.
There’s a beat of silence. “Or you could stay,” she says.
My heart stutters. “I could stay,” I whisper.
“It’s late,” she whispers back, and she rolls me over so she can tug the covers from beneath me. Then she covers me with them. The warmth of her next to me seeps into me all over. “You’re so cold,” she says. She rolls over and tugs my arm around her. “Is this okay?”
I pull her back against me, with my hand on her hip. “Yeah,” I whisper. “It’s nice.” I press a kiss to her shoulder. “It’s perfect.”
She wiggles her bottom in my lap and then gets still.
“Thanks for letting me take a nap, Jake,” she says.
I brush her hair down between us and take in the scent that’s all Katie. “You’re welcome.” I kiss her shoulder again.
There’s not one tiny part of me that feels like this is wrong. Not the least little bit. It’s right. It’s Katie. It’s me. It’s me and Katie, and her kids are in the rooms adjacent to this one. I’ll have to wake up early and get out of here before they wake up. That’s a good plan.
I tuck Katie closer to me and close my eyes.
25
Jake
The first time I ever got caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing with Katie Higgins, I had to clean the bath house at the campground with a toothbrush every day for a week. Looking back, I spent a lot of time in that bath house. It’s a miracle I can get near a toilet now. In fact, I tend to keep my toothbrush in the kitchen. Toilets are nasty. Toothbrushes in toilets are even nastier.
But holding Katie into the early hours of the morning…that was priceless. I’d do it all over if given an opportunity.
That day started like most others. I got up, went to play lifeguard at our small swimming area, and I ogled Katie as she played volleyball in the sand with her friends near where I worked. She waved at me every few minutes, and I caught her looking at me often, which made me smile.
“Jake, get your head out of your ass and watch the swimmers,” Pop grumbled at me when he caught me watching Katie rather than the water.
“My head’s not in my ass,” I grumbled back.
“Get your head out of her ass then,” he said, nodding toward where Katie had moved over and was sunning herself in a modest bikini.
“But Pop,” I complained, “her ass is worth it. Just look at it.”
Pop didn’t look, but he said, “As asses go, I suppose you could find a worse one to look at. Maybe you’ll find one when you’re cleaning toilets.” He threw a towel at my face.
I blew the whistle at a kid running down the dock, and he slowed to a fast walk before diving off the end.
“Speaking of Katie’s ass, Pop, do you think I could take the boat out tonight?”
He sorted through the box of tools he had on the dock in front of him without looking up at me. “What for? And what’s the boat got to do with Katie’s ass?”
I learned to drive a boat before I could drive a car, which was the case with most kids who grew up on the water. “I want to show her the lake.”
“Is ‘show her the lake’ code for showing her your penis?”
“Pop,” I growled. “Seriously?”
“You can use the canoe. Take it or leave it.”
I opened my mouth to complain, but Pop held up a finger. When Pop held up a finger, I knew I was done. I could take the canoe out, though. That was good. It would work.
“Take condoms,” Pop warned. Then he walked away while I was still shaking my head and smiling.
I wrapped my hands around my mouth and yelled Katie’s name. She raised up on her elbows on the blanket where she was sunbathing, and her naked belly scrunched up. Damn, she was pretty. And curvy in all the right places. She held her hands up in question at me.
I crooked my finger at her, motioning for her to come to me.
Fred, who was working at the lifeguard station on the opposite dock, let out a wolf whistle.
Katie didn’t come to me, though. She lay back down on the blanket and ignored me. Her friend leaned over close to her and whispered something but Katie just shook her head.
I wrapped my hands around my mouth and called her name loudly again. “I can’t come to you, Katie!” I yelled.
She rolled onto her belly and shot me the middle finger over her shoulder.
Pop chuckled from behind me. “You might want to work on your delivery, son. A Jacobson has to have more game than that.”
I could hear Fred laughing from his perch acr
oss the lake. I looked out and saw that there was only one person in the small swimming area. I motioned for Fred to keep an eye on him, and then I pulled my whistle from around my neck and tossed it onto the lifeguard chair. I dove into the water and swam to where Katie was lying on a towel on the sandy beach. I stood over her and shook the water from my hair like a dog after a bath. Both she and her friend squealed and Katie rolled over.
“Stop!” she yelled, but she was laughing as she covered her head with her hands.
I dropped onto the sand beside her and rested my forearms over my knees. “You’re ignoring me.”
She laid an arm over her eyes as she reclined against the towel. “You were calling me like I’m some kind of pet.” She was smiling, but I could tell that she wasn’t going to let me get away with any shit.
I leaned close to her ear. “I wanted to ask you out tonight.”
She lifted her arm from where it rested over her eyes. “Like a date?”
I nodded. “Yep. Just like a date.”
She sat up. “Where would we go?”
“It’s a surprise.” I couldn’t just tell her I wanted to take her out on the lake in my dad’s canoe.
She heaved a sigh. “I couldn’t go anyway.”
“Why not?”
“My dad and Uncle Adam. You’d have to ask them.”
“Okay.” I steeled my shoulders and stood up.
“Okay?” She smirked. “Have you met them?” She snorted and lay back again.
“I’m not afraid.” Actually, I was shaking in my swim shorts. “Do you know where they are?”
“No idea.”
“Do you even want to go on a date with me?” I asked, looking down at her. She squinted back up at me.
“If Dad and Uncle Adam give you permission to ask me, I might say yes.”
“That’s it.” I scooped her up in my arms. She kicked and flailed her arms and legs, trying to get free, but I just clutched her to my chest and stalked toward the water. Then I tossed her ass in it. She came up with her hair a wet stringy mess, and it was hanging in front of her pretty blue eyes. She brushed it back.