“No,” I say as I pull the door open. A part of me knows this is probably the worst time to go cold turkey, but I refuse to attempt to alleviate my pain when Lia cannot. I walk back to the waiting room in a much calmer manner than I left it. My aunt is right: Lia needs and deserves someone strong, and I’ll be that person…I’ll be anything for her.
Chapter Two
Lucian
I’ve long since given up pacing the floor, and I’m slumped in a chair in the corner. Nighttime in a hospital emergency department is bustling. I’ve moved away from crying babies and loud-talking people too many times to count. On her last visit, my aunt pulled a chair into the hallway for me, knowing I had no desire to be in a group of strangers.
“Lia is bruised and banged up pretty badly. She has fractures to her wrist, fingers, and her nose. What we’re watching closely right now though is the small amount of swelling she has on her brain.” At the look of panic on my face, she takes my hand reassuringly. “The doctor believes we can treat her with medication as long as the swelling doesn’t continue to increase further. At this point, we are monitoring that.” I notice vaguely that my aunt looks tired; I know she’s working a double shift so she can be near Lia. I sent Sam, Max, and Rose home hours ago. I was in no mood for company, but I know they would be back in a moment’s notice if I said the word. I’ve lived for years, though, as mostly a loner…until Lia, and it’s something I’ve fallen back on for comfort today. “Luc…the old scar on her back…did he do that, as well?” I nod but don’t bother to elaborate. In her years at the hospital, she has probably seen more women like Lia than I can imagine. Very little shocks her anymore.
I try to stand up from my chair, knowing my aunt needs to get off her feet for a few minutes, but she motions me back down before squatting next to me. “We’re going to be moving Lia to a room in the ICU soon. One person can stay with her tonight. Have you reached any of her friends or family?”
I think briefly of Max’s revelation that Lee Jacks is quite possibly Lia’s biological father. That’s a bridge to be crossed another day, though. “She doesn’t really have any family.” Max has called her close friend Debra. She was out of town but is on her way back now. I don’t expect her until sometime tomorrow, though. If Debra was as upset as Max said she was, I figure she’s burning the road up trying to get to Lia.
“There is one piece of news I think you’ll be relieved to hear,” my aunt says softly. I just look at her, not knowing if anything other than seeing Lia will give me relief. “Luc, it doesn’t appear she was raped. There is no evidence to support it. If that was her attacker’s intent, then possibly he was interrupted before he could do it.”
I drop my head into my hands, feeling the urge once again to cry. My aunt was right; the feeling of relief is overwhelming. To know that Lia hadn’t been violated in that way is enough to bring me to my knees. The bastard hadn’t been able to take that from her. I have no doubt that she fought him with everything she had. The skin they removed from under Lia’s nails gave validity to that fact. When her stepfather is found, Lia will have collected the evidence during her struggle to lock him away. “Thank God,” I finally say. “Can I go to her now?”
When I feel a hand on my head, I look up in surprise. My aunt continues to run her hand through my hair. I stiffen at first because it’s been many years since she comforted me as she did when I was a child. Except for the rare occasion, I’ve always preferred to find my comfort in solitude, which was hard for her to accept for many years. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
I pull back sharply, causing her hand to return to her side. “What’re you talking about?” I cringe when the question leaves my mouth. I’ve played right into her hands. I should have walked away without comment, but I’ve opened the door now.
“I have never seen you this way over a woman. To be honest, you’re a complete wreck, which we both know isn’t you.”
I love my aunt, but I hate to be psychoanalyzed. I bite back my anger because I would have been barred from the hospital by now if not for her interceding today. She has also been my eyes and ears to Lia, breaking rules I know she normally wouldn’t for anyone but me. “We both know I’ve been here before. In this very hospital, actually, and I think it accurate to say I was off my rocker then, as well.”
My aunt is unable to contain her quick flinch at the reminder of my past. “That wasn’t the same thing, Luc,” she says quietly. “I’m not saying you didn’t love Cassie, because you did. You just were not in love with her. Lia, though—”
“Fae,” I interrupt her. “Please stop. I don’t have anything left in me for this conversation today. I’m hanging on to a fucking tightrope by one hand. If you want me to admit I care about Lia, then fine, yes I do. Leave it at that.”
She looks quickly at her phone when a text sounds. “That’s Sara. I told her to let me know when Lia was in her room.” As I jump to my feet, my aunt halts me before I get further. “Lia’s heavily sedated, Luc. Don’t expect her to wake at any point tonight and maybe not tomorrow, either. Right now, her body needs the respite to heal. After you’ve seen her, you should go home for the night and get some rest. She’ll need you more in a few days.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I say flatly. My aunt purses her lips in frustration but doesn’t comment. The thought of leaving Lia alone was enough to make my gut clench in agony. She had needed me earlier, and I’d been unable to go to her; that wouldn’t happen again. I can no more admit to myself how I feel about Lia than I could to my aunt. Truthfully, I have no clue. Love? Maybe obsessed is a more accurate word. From the moment we met, the driving need to have her, to possess her, has ruled my every action where she is concerned.
The double doors to the inner sanctum of the emergency department open for me this time with a simple swipe of my aunt’s ID badge. The irony that here she is more powerful than I am is not lost on me. I’m a rich, well-connected man, but that means little here. I am nothing compared to the heroes hurrying in these hallways, desperately trying to help those like Lia.
We reach a doorway to a room at the end of the hall, giving it a bit more privacy than the ones closer to the nurses’ station. My heart pounds loudly in my chest as I follow my aunt into the small, dimly lit space. My aunt walks straight to the monitors next to the bed, checking each of them before stepping aside and motioning me forward.
Then I see her…My chest feels tight, and my feet so unbelievably heavy as I take small steps until I’m next to her. “Oh, baby,” I whisper as I stand helpless at Lia’s bedside. I reach down and take her small hand into mine, careful of the IV line attached to it.
My aunt steps up, rubbing my arm reassuringly. “Most of what you see is just to monitor her. You can touch her, just be careful you don’t knock anything loose.” At my nod, she says, “I’m going to head home for the night. Call me if you need me for anything…no matter the time, and I’ll be here.”
I give her my thanks, and she tells me she’ll be back in the morning to check on Lia. I am strangely relieved when I hear the door close behind her; I need time to process what I’m seeing and feeling without her curious eyes on me. I turn on the bedside light and wince as Lia is almost fully illuminated. She is pale…almost translucent, making the dark bruises and red scratches marring her skin eerily visible. Her arm, which seemed at such an odd angle earlier now looks normal with the exception of another brace around the wrist area and bandages on her fingers. There are also bandages over her nose, which my aunt had already told me was broken.
The sheet is pulled up to just under her chest, making further examination difficult. At this point, I’m better off not seeing the full extent of her injuries. I pull a chair closer to her bed and drop into it wearily. Lowering the guardrail, I lay my head next to her side while holding her uninjured hand in mine. I just need to feel her body against some part of mine. After being terrified earlier that I’d never touch her again, I’m desperate to feel the proof that she hasn’t b
een taken from me. “I’m so sorry,” I murmur against her cold skin. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, baby.” I kiss her hand and am surprised when I feel myself growing sleepy. My adrenaline is crashing fast, and the stress of the day has depleted me both mentally and physically. Even injured as she is, being this close to Lia brings me temporary peace, and I allow myself to drift off while I hold her hand securely within mine.
Chapter Three
Lucian
Lia has been in the hospital now for three days. Yesterday, they started decreasing her sedating medications, planning to slowly bring her back to consciousness; they need her awake soon so they can assess her condition. So far, other than more movement during her sleep and twitching of her eyes, she hasn’t shown any signs of waking. She has had a CT scan daily, and thankfully, the swelling in her brain has been responding to the medication, but they still need to monitor her closely.
When a knock sounds at the door, I look up to see a tired-looking Aidan standing there. He and I haven’t discussed the possible change in Cassie that happened before Lia’s attack. When Aidan found out about Lia, he came back right away, taking over the operations of the company until I return. I haven’t left the hospital grounds since Lia was brought in. Cindy makes sure I have clean clothes daily, and Sam runs any errands that are needed. This is the first time Aidan has been here, so I’m momentarily surprised to see him.
He stands uncertainly in the doorway, and I motion him further into the room, walking over to greet him with a one-armed hug. When we step back, he looks at Lia and blurts out, “Holy fucking shit, I just…”
“I know,” I say. “All of the bruising makes it look even worse than it is.” It still astounds me when I see the black marks marring her face and arms, so I know well how it must be for Aidan, who is seeing her for the first time. Her nurse comes in at that moment, asking us to step out while she examines Lia. This happens multiple times per day, and I generally use the time to walk outside and smoke. When Sam saw how agitated I was on my second day without my drug of choice, he slapped a pack of cigarettes in my hand and told me to exchange one evil for another until I could get it out of my system. It’s no miracle cure, and I actually find the whole smoking thing disgusting, but it does help to take the edge off. Right now, I need that any way I can get it short of using again.
Aidan trails after me until we reach the small courtyard at the back of the property. This is the one and only area where smoking is allowed. Aidan’s mouth drops in surprise as I quickly light up, inhaling deeply before exhaling. “Damn, when did you start smoking?”
After another puff, I say, “Yesterday, before lunch, and yes, I know it’s fucked. I just…need something to get me by while Lia’s here.”
Understanding dawns on Aidan and he steps closer, saying under his breath, “Luc, I can get you something. Fuck, you must be about to come apart at the seams.”
In truth, I’ve gone far longer than three days without cocaine. I’m normally not a daily user; I could go weeks if I needed to. It is, however, my go-to answer for major stress, and Aidan is correct: three days under the type of pressure I’ve been dealing with has been hell, but I’m fighting it. “No, I’m trying to come off it. I’ll just keep smoking these nasty things and eating a pack of gum afterwards to combat the taste. I think I brushed my teeth fifty times yesterday.”
“Yeah, okay, man. Let me know if you change your mind.” I wonder idly why all of my friends are always so quick to offer to supply me. Maybe they should have staged an intervention long ago instead of enabling me. I offer him a cigarette, knowing he smokes on occasion—usually promoted by stress, as well—but he shakes his head, dropping to one of the cement benches. “What are you doing?” He asks so quietly I almost miss it.
I turn to face him, raising a brow. “I thought we already established that.”
Rubbing his face, he shakes his head. “No, what are you doing in this situation with this girl? Luc, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, but you can’t be here again. Lia reminded both of us of Cassie almost from the start, and now you’re back at the exact place where you almost lost it all before.”
Anger races through my veins, pissed he would dare to approach this subject right now. Feeling the need to hit back, I say, “You forgot one big difference. I’m not here because my fucking throat has been slit by my crazy girlfriend.”
Aidan blanches, looking as if he’s taken a blow to the face. “Luc…that’s not fair…”
“What the fuck was fair about the whole thing, Aidan?” I snap, still angry over this whole conversation. “Was it fair that Cassie killed my child, almost killed me, and damn near killed herself? Was it fair to you that you were there to witness most of it? And it sure as hell isn’t fair to Lia to compare her to Cassie! That woman lying in there beaten all to hell by her fucking stepfather has never done anything to deserve what’s happened to her. I have no idea why everyone suddenly feels the need to warn me, put a label on my relationship with her, or compare her to Cassie, but I’m sick of it. I’m not leaving her here alone, and I’ll destroy anyone who attempts to harm her. As my employee, I need you to run my company while I’m here, but as my friend, I need you to support my decisions. Even if they don’t make sense to you.”
Aidan looks at the ground for a moment before raising his head and grinning. “Damn, man, when did you become such a drama queen? Yeah, I’ll run your company, probably better than you, but when this is over, I better get fucking Employee of the Month or shit’s going to hit the fan.”
I barely miss a beat at Aidan’s quick-fire change of subject and mood. Sometimes when things get the better of him, he starts talking about the past, but just as quickly, he pushes it away. In truth, he can’t deal with it any better than I can. The difference in us, though, is that Aidan is still very much tied to the past through his love for Cassie. He cannot walk away from her; therefore, he has never been able to move on. Sometimes, I think that out of everything that happened between Cassie and me, Aidan might actually be the one who has suffered the most for it. He’ll never leave Cassie, though, so trying to convince him to move on is useless. We all have our crosses to bear in life, and his is tied solidly to the girl who was once one of us. I’m not even sure he loves her in the way he thinks he does anymore. His need to save her colors everything he does.
We talk for another few moments before I start to get restless. I don’t like leaving Lia for long, and I want to be there when she awakes. Aidan and I continue to discuss the most pressing business matters as we walk back through the hallways of the hospital and toward Lia’s room. When we are halfway there, I hear a commotion coming from that direction and take off running to the partially open doorway. When I step inside, I’m met by utter pandemonium. Lia is not only awake but also standing in the middle of the room, wires hanging off her body as she fights against a nurse who is holding her arms down. Another nurse circles her with a syringe, trying to talk to Lia soothingly. “What is going on here?” I say, but my words are lost as Lia screams, sounding weak and terrified.
“Fuck,” Aidan breathes from behind me.
As I really look at what’s going on, I immediately understand part of what is upsetting Lia. She’s being restrained. To someone so recently overpowered by another, this is the worst form of torture to her right now. Moving in front of Lia, I say, “Release her; you’re scaring her.”
The nurse holding Lia ignores me while the one attempting to sedate her says, “Sir, please step out of the room. We’ll handle this.”
As if the sound of my voice finally reaches her, Lia lurches forward, trying to extend an arm toward me. “Luc, I need to get it off! Please, help me!” I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I know she needs me and that they’re hurting her more than they are helping. I ask them to release her a few more times before I’ve finally had enough.
“Take your fucking hands off her right now!” I roar. “If you hurt her, I’ll own you and this hospital!” Both
nurses freeze, seeming too shocked to move for a moment. The one holding Lia drops her arms, stepping back uncertainly. Lia takes a few halting steps toward me before I quickly cover the rest of the distance, scooping her into my arms as gently as I can. There is blood dripping from her hand caused by the IV, which she dislodged during her struggle. I know she needs medical attention immediately, but I also know she needs to feel safe before that happens. She curls into my arms as if knowing I’ll protect her from the world. I perch on her bed, juggling her on my lap before finally getting us both settled. “I’ve got you, baby,” I whisper against the crown of her head. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Shhh,” I continue to soothe her until her body relaxes against mine.
By this time, two security guards stand in the doorway, along with Aidan and my aunt. The two nurses seem to have calmed down somewhat, and I motion to the one with the syringe. It kills me to have to do it, but I understand that unless Lia is sedated, they’ll probably be unable to reattach her IV lines without hurting or subduing her. I continue to speak softly to Lia, trying to reassure her with my presence. When the needle goes into her arm, she flinches but doesn’t try to pull away. I can feel her breathing grow heavier, and just as I believe she is asleep, her eyes pop open and she grips my arm. “Don’t leave me, Luc,” she pleads in a voice that slays me.
“Never,” I vow, which seems to give her enough peace to close her eyes and drift off. I hear my aunt dismissing the security guards. She walks over to me, looking down at Lia with concerned eyes.
“She’s out now, Luc. Lay her down so we can work on getting her lines reattached.” Grudgingly, I stand with her in my arms. Dropping a kiss on her forehead, I slowly lower her to the bed and step back to let my aunt and the other nurses do their work. Aidan walks up beside me looking unnerved.