“Is she going to be okay?” he asks doubtfully. I know this is torture for him, and he’d rather be most anywhere else. Nevertheless, he is loyal to a fault and doesn’t want to leave until he knows I no longer need him.
“She’ll be fine,” I say with more confidence than I feel right now. “I know you must have a million things to take care of today, so why don’t you take off. I’ve got everything handled here for now.” I see the relief that flashes across his face for just a split second before he disguises it. It’s a testament to the strength of our friendship that he would stay here for as long as needed even though this hospital is filled with painful memories for both of us.
“All right.” He briefly clasps my shoulder. “Keep me updated, and let me know if you need anything.” With those words, he is gone and relax slightly. Having my friends and family study Lia and myself so intently is exhausting. I’m tired of trying to explain our relationship when even I have no clue as to what it is. All I do know is that she is mine and I am hers. The particulars of that statement are too complex to ponder, so I don’t even attempt to try.
I walk back toward my aunt who is talking with her co-workers. “Do you have any idea what caused her to get so upset?” I ask, needing to know what happened in the short time I was gone.
The nurse who had been holding Lia spoke up, looking at me warily. “We were taking her vitals when she started to thrash around in her bed. Her eyes were closed, so I assumed she was having a bad dream. We tried to calm her, but it only seemed to upset her more. She had gotten out of the bed before she opened her eyes. I knew she was hurting herself by trying to walk with her injuries, but the more I tried to reason with her, the more upset she became.” Pointing to the other nurse, she said, “So, Lettie ran to the nurses’ station to get a sedative, and we were attempting to give it to her when you walked in.”
His aunt stepped forward after checking Lia’s IV line one last time. “It’s not unusual for someone who was the victim of a violent attack to cycle between dreams and reality. More than likely, she was still asleep when she jumped from the bed but woke up at some point. She recognized you, Luc, and responded to your reassurances. Moving around in the manner she was would have caused her pain which is likely what finally woke her.” His aunt dismissed the other nurses and took a seat next to the one I had pulled up at Lia’s bedside. “Even though she wasn’t raped, Luc, she’s still going to need therapy when she is stronger. Lia has been traumatized in ways we probably can’t even imagine.”
“I’ll get her all the help she needs,” I say, feeling sick at the reminder of what was done to her. Her stepfather has gone completely off the grid, and no one has been able to find a trace of the bastard. The police have questioned her mother several times, but if she knows anything, she isn’t talking. What a freaking waste of space it is for those two to even exist. Something I’d love to remedy. There are too many people looking for Jim Dawson for him to stay hidden forever. Before I can finish my conversation with my aunt, the door opens again and a woman and man who I’ve never seen before stand there staring across the room at Lia in horror. I know instantly that this is Lia’s friend Debra and her boyfriend Martin. I had expected them a few days ago, but their car had broken down on their way home, delaying their arrival. Debra had kept me updated over the phone several times a day as she called to check on Lia.
My aunt’s pager goes off, and with a smile of apology, she hurries from the room. Debra rushes forward, stopping when she reaches Lia’s bedside. Martin trails slowly behind her. “Oh, my poor baby,” Debra whispers brokenly, looking as if she’s trying desperately to keep from breaking down. Martin puts a supporting arm around her shoulders, looking just as unsteady. It’s readily apparent that they both care deeply for the woman lying so still and pale in the bed. Debra turns, surprising me when she pulls me into a firm hug. “You must be Lucian.” When she finally pulls back, Martin and I shake hands and then we all turn back to Lia. “How is she today?” Debra asks as she gently strokes Lia’s hand.
“She was awake earlier but had to be sedated again,” I answer honestly. At Debra’s questioning look, I add, “She was upset and trying to leave the room. She pulled her IVs out. I was finally able to calm her enough for them to sedate her.”
“What a fucking mess,” Debra sighs, echoing my thoughts exactly. “I don’t guess the police have found Jim yet, have they?” When I shake my head no, she grits her teeth, looking angry. “My little girl has been nothing but a punching bag for both of those animals all her life. I’d love to go pull Maria out of her house by her hair and show her how it feels.”
“Calm down, honey.” Martin rubs Debra’s back, trying to settle her down. “We just need to be here for Lia in any way we can. Jim and Maria will get theirs in the end.”
I resist the urge to comment on how soon I hope that end is. Instead, I lean back against the wall and let Debra and Martin spend a few moments with her until they turn their attention back to me. After being grilled for twenty minutes, I’m more than happy to see them leave. The love they feel for Lia is obvious, but they are also very protective and spent quite a bit of time questioning my place in her life. In the end, though, I think it was clear that I’m not going anywhere, regardless of whether they are comfortable with it or not. I have little doubt that I’ll be under a microscope from them for a while, and instead of being annoyed, it comforts me to know that Lia has people in her life who care that deeply for her.
The rest of the day passes uneventfully. The nurses and doctors make periodic checks, and I see no one else until Cindy and Sam arrive with a surprise dinner for me. A greasy cheeseburger isn’t something I indulge in often, but it’s sheer Heaven after a few days of hospital food. Cindy sniffs me as she steps closer, causing me to cock a brow in question. “Have you been smoking?” she asks while wrinkling her nose.
Sam chuckles then turns it into a cough when she shoots him a glare. His ass would really be in trouble if I told her it was his idea. Of course, she has no idea that smoking is a lesser evil than what I’m trying to avoid using. I feel like a guilty child as I say, “Yeah, but it’s just temporary.”
She puts her hands on her hips in a move I know heralds a lecture. “Lucian Quinn, are you crazy? Why in the world would you pick now to start smoking…temporarily?”
I have to give Cindy credit for managing to inject an amazing amount of sarcasm and disgust into just two sentences. I can only imagine what she would have to say to me if she knew of my real vice. I can almost picture her putting me over her knee, and not in a kinky way, either. It makes me that much more determined to quit and to make sure she never finds out. I don’t think I could handle being such a disappointment in her eyes. “I’ve just been a bit…unsettled since Lia’s attack. This helps to take the edge off. I promise I’ll stop soon.” Grimacing, I say truthfully, “I can’t stand it any more than you can.”
She gives me a look of sympathy before shaking her head. “I’m sure this has been hard on you, Luc, but puffing on those vile things won’t change anything. I swear I don’t know what I’m going to do with you and Aidan. To be such intelligent men, neither of you have the sense God gave a piss-ant sometimes.”
I can’t help it; I burst out laughing, not used to being scolded and called an idiot. There are few people who I’d let get away with talking to me like that, but I know she does it out of love and since that is in short supply in my life, I choose to just enjoy the fact that she cares enough to lecture me. “I’m sorry to disappoint you; I’ll try to correct it as soon as possible.”
They stay for a bit longer, while Cindy and I go over some messages she brought and I give her instructions for returning calls. Unfortunately, even with Aidan at the helm, there are things I must handle personally, and tomorrow I will need to find a quiet corner to do it. Sam has brought me more clothes, and Cindy not-so-nicely lets me know I should take care of that as soon as they leave. Hopefully, that’s just a dig at the smoke smell and not my hygiene.
I’ve managed to use the tiny shower in Lia’s attached bathroom each day, but it’s a far cry from what I’m used to and even I’ll admit to feeling much less than my usual, well-groomed self.
Sam clasps my arm as they are leaving, saying, “All good?” I know the question holds a wealth of meaning, but I simply incline my head. With Cindy near, that is all the communication he will risk. She is far too perceptive and would ask a million questions at the first hint of trouble.
I am so tired by the time I’m alone again that I find myself drifting off as I return to my chair next to Lia’s bedside. I finally stop fighting sleep and let it take me, knowing it won’t be for long. Rest in a hospital is proving almost impossible, and I’ve learned quickly to take it where I can get it.
Lia
The light in the room seems unusually bright as I open and close my eyes, trying to adjust. My mouth is dry, causing my tongue to stick to the roof of it. I shift restlessly and catch my breath. “Ow,” I moan, trying to figure out why I feel as if I’ve been hit by a car. Again, my eyes flutter and this time, I’m able to keep them open long enough to look at my surroundings. My vision is blurry and I blink rapidly, trying to clear it. My body seems to be throbbing all over, making it impossible to pinpoint the source of the pain.
As I look around the unfamiliar room, I panic until I see him. Luc is sitting next to me with his arms crossed and his head lolling backwards in what looks like an extremely uncomfortable position. He is fully dressed and wearing what appears to be jeans and a polo shirt. Again, I look around the room, thinking we must be at his apartment, but nothing looks as it should. I close my eyes as my head begins to pound. ‘You thought you had me, didn’t you? You stupid little whore, who do you think you are?’ my stepfather taunted. I gasp as the words ring in my head. I open my eyes, looking frantically around the room, but nothing has changed. Lucian is still asleep next to me and no one else appears to be in the room.
“Just a dream,” I whisper. “It’s not real.”
Suddenly, the words are coming again and this time, I’m wide-awake. ‘Not so tough now, are you, without your rich boyfriend? I’m going to show him and the rest of the world what you really are, and this time there will be no mistaking my mark on you, whore!’
As the memories come flooding back, I realize with dawning horror that I’m not dreaming. Pushing the covers back, I start fighting against the tubes attached to my hands and frantically attempt to pull up my shirt. “Oh, God, please no. Please, don’t let it be there,” I cry as I fight to reach my stomach. “Luc, Luc!” I sob. “Lucian, please wake up.” As I struggle against the fabric covering me, Lucian suddenly sits up straight in the chair, looking around the room in confusion. My cries for help seem to finally register, and he jerks to his feet.
“Lia? Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks as he reaches for me. His eyes are wild as he grasps my hands.
“I need to see, Luc; please, I have to see if it’s there.” I struggle against his hold, trying to look under the gown I’m wearing.
“Lia, what? What do you need to see?”
“I need to see my stomach! Did he mark me? He said he was marking me!” The fight is starting to leave me as my body weakens. Lucian seems to finally understand what I’m asking as he pulls the sheet covering the lower part of my body aside and gently lifts my gown. There are bandages on my stomach and I start to gasp for breath, feeling like I’m in the throes of agony as the white coverings mock me. I lower my hands, starting to pluck at the bandages frantically before Lucian stills them.
“Baby, stop! You’re going to hurt yourself. The IV line is beginning to pull out of your hand again.” I ignore him, continuing to dig against the gauze until he catches my hands, trying to subdue me. “Lia, STOP! Christ, I’ll remove them, just please stop hurting yourself!”
My hands fall limp, and the sound of my breath wheezing through my lungs fills the room as I wait for him to do as he promised. I know with a certainty that I’ll lose it completely if he has lied to me. “Luc,” I say once, imploringly, and his hands move to my stomach without further words. Both our eyes are trained on his movements as slowly, piece by piece, he removes the tape holding the bandages in place. I look down as the last section falls away. I see long, angry lines and scratches and I think I can make out a W, but nothing else is readily clear. With a huge lump in my throat, I ask, “Does it…say anything? Can you see the word…whore?”
Lucian jerks as if I’ve struck him, and then his eyes scan the area, gently touching the exposed skin before looking up. “I…can’t make out anything, baby. It just looks like a bunch of cuts and scratches to me. What—why do you think there is something there?”
Tears fill my eyes and slide down my cheeks as I whisper, “He said he was going to mark me so you and the rest of the world would know what I really am—a whore. He was going to cut the word into my stomach. I…remember him holding me down and feeling the pain of something digging into me. That’s the last thing I recall, though.”
Lucian looks completely devastated as if my words hit him hard. I see his eyes fill with rage before quickly turning to anguish as I sob in earnest. “Oh, fuck, baby,” he rasps as he drops the rail all the way down on the bed so he can climb up next to me, gingerly taking me in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers against my head as I cry into the soft skin of his neck. Within moments, he is soaked from my tears. He murmurs low words of comfort as he strokes my hair like a child.
“Please don’t leave me, Luc,” I plead, not caring if I sound desperate because I am. In this moment, as the memories come crashing down on me and my body aches from all the damage inflicted upon it, he is all that is keeping me from insanity. Without him, I would fall to pieces and it’s unlikely I’d ever return to myself.
“Oh, Lia, I’m not going anywhere. The only way I’ll leave this hospital is if you’re with me. You’re mine; I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.” His words are spoken softly, but the steel behind them is easily discernable and immediately comforts me. We lay that way until my sobs have faded into sniffles and then just the occasional shudder. I have started to doze when the door opens and I hear a snort.
“Lucian Quinn, what are you doing in bed with my patient?” I stiffen in his arms until he chuckles lightly against me.
“Sorry, Aunt Fae, I couldn’t resist. I’m lying on top of the covers, though, so don’t get too excited.”
At his words, I look closer, recognizing his aunt. I’m immediately filled with embarrassment and shame at having her know what has happened to me. No doubt, she thinks Lucian is crazy for getting involved with someone so messed up. I can’t even bring myself to meet her eyes when she stops at my bedside. “Honey, it’s great to see you awake. We’ve been so worried about you.” The concern and lack of judgment in her voice brings my head up, and I see only something that looks like affection on her face. How could she possibly feel that way toward me after what has happened? Shouldn’t she be warning Lucian to run as fast and as far as he can?
“I…thank you,” I answer shyly, fighting the urge to cry once again. I’m not used to kindness, and I find I want to soak it up like a sponge. This woman raised Lucian after he lost his parents, and it’s obvious she loves him. My own mother never loved me a day in my life nor has she ever been concerned for my welfare. She’s actually been the driving force behind every threat I’ve faced.
She walks over and looks at the monitors, which display my vitals. “Now that you’re awake, I have to let the police know. They’ll want to come take your statement.” When I tremble, Lucian pulls me closer and his aunt pats my hand comfortingly. “There is nothing to be afraid of, Lia. They just need as much information as possible so they can find the person who did this to you. Remember, you’re the victim here. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
With those words, I start crying again, wondering if I’ll ever stop being the pathetic person I’ve turned into. Lucian and his aunt talk softly as he continues to hold and comfort me. I want no
thing more than to go home with him and forget everything. I don’t want to admit to anyone what my stepfather did to me. Feeling dirty, I’m consumed with the urge to be clean, to wash away his scent, which suddenly seems to be everywhere. I struggle against Lucian’s hold, focused on nothing but scrubbing myself clean. “Shower,” I say to him desperately. “I have to shower, now, please.” I’m sobbing the words as he and his aunt try to calm me. I hear her say, ‘sedate’ and freeze. I vaguely remember that happening another time as Lucian held me. If I can just make them understand that I just need to make myself clean again… “Luc.” I turn my head until our eyes are locked. He looks so upset; I almost end my quest, but God, I need it so badly. “I just need to wash him off me. Please, I can still smell him on my skin. Just…I have to be clean.”
Lucian drops his forehead against mine, and we are communicating without words. He realizes what I need, and I know that nothing, even his aunt, will stop him from giving it to me. “Unhook her, Fae.”
“Luc, we need to wait until tomorrow. Lia, it’s really not a good idea to rush…” Fae’s words trail off as Lucian gets off the bed and calmly starts pulling the covers from my body. I hear her bite off a curse, which would have probably been highly frowned upon by the hospital administrators. “She’s taking a shower right now no matter what I say, isn’t she?”
“Yes,” Lucian answers firmly, giving no room for arguments. “I could really use your help, though, because I don’t want to mess anything up.”
His aunt brushes his hands aside as she pushes the call button on the side of the bed for the nurses’ station. When they answer, she requests immediate assistance and in less than a minute, another nurse is standing at my bedside. “Wendy, Miss Adams is going to take a shower so we need to start unhooking her. Lucian, please step out into the hall until I call you.” As both Lucian and I protest, she looks meaningfully at the catheter hanging at my bedside, silencing our protests immediately. He all but runs from the room, prompting his aunt to laugh. “Something about the threat of seeing that gets to them every time.”