"I love that you wanted to try. But after we've done everything we can, we have to accept things the way they are and make the most of what we have. I love you for your empathy." As if she'd had a sudden painful thought, she stiffened slightly against him. "I'm so sorry I made it sound like everything was your fault. It isn't. Not even close. I was wrong for fighting you about contributing to Magnolia Gardens."
He ran his fingers through her hair. "I understand your need to take care of that yourself. I pushed all the parties and the commissions because it seemed like the only thing I could do for you."
She rested her hand on his chest, her fingers stroking lightly. "I know. And I was afraid of letting you take over, as if I'd lose my independence." She shrugged. "I've always taken care of my own responsibilities, so it was hard to accept anything from you. But I was wrong. I told you I loved you, but I never turned my whole heart over to you. I was always holding something back, because--" This time she was the one swallowing hard. "It's the same reason I thought I should drop teaching when my art career started to take off--because it's the reasonable, streamlined thing to do. I mean, why would anyone keep a lower-paying job when every hour she spends making sculptures can earn so much more? But I've realized that's who I am. Someone who does things that don't make sense to everyone else, who tosses together those jumbled pieces of life in weird ways no one else could imagine. But it works for me. If I ever tried to change who I am, I'd only be destroying an important part of myself." She trembled in his arms. "Can all those jumbled-up, junkyard pieces of me be good enough for you?"
"Yes, damn it." It killed him that she needed to ask. Didn't she know that she was everything to him, exactly the way she was? "You're the best person I've ever met, the most amazing woman I've ever known." He grabbed the clipboard and this time he made her look at it.
In the sketch, she wore her face shield, her gloves, her smock, her boots. The sparks of her torch flew out all around her, almost like a halo. The lines of the horse she worked on weren't perfect. They were a work in progress. And he saw something he hadn't known he'd added until she made him look. The face shield's reflection showed lines that weren't there yet, the perfect lines that were still in Charlie's head, lines that would eventually grace the horse itself. Because Charlie could fix anything.
"Do you see?" His whisper was gentle, but firm. Determined. For the first time ever, he could see one of his own drawings with total clarity. "Whatever you set out to do, you truly make the imperfect extraordinary. Not perfect, but amazing all the same." He put his hand under her chin to make her look at him. "How could I not love you? How could you ever think you weren't good enough for me?"
She was silent for a long moment, before she finally said, "I wasn't listening to all the things both of us were too afraid to say to each other. But they were there all along and I'm listening now, Sebastian." Her voice beat inside him, became a part of him the way she would always be a part of him. "I wish you'd told me about your drawings, what your father did. It explains so much. He was the one who made you feel you had to be perfect, that your art had to be. And he made you think that the truth you tell in your drawings is bad, when the exact opposite is true."
He nuzzled her hair. "I'm sorry. You asked, and I tried to pretend it wasn't a big deal. But I will always tell you everything. No more secrets. No more hiding. And I'll always listen."
"Then let me tell you what I'm going to do," she pushed on in a low, seductive, mesmerizing tone. "I'm going to teach my classes in the fall. I'm going to put the other commissions on hold while I finish the chariot race for your building's grand opening."
His blood pulsed wildly. "And then?"
"Remember, I'm a Zanti Misfit. With me, you have to expect the unexpected. So after our grand unveiling, I want to wing it." She smiled her gorgeous, beguiling smile. "Being without a plan and letting the unexpected happen won't send our lives down the tubes. In fact, something tells me that's when things are going to become more magical than ever. You see, I've decided to stay for keeps. You're not getting rid of me. And we'll figure out how to make this work. Together."
She leaned close to brush her mouth across his. She couldn't know how he'd longed for that when he believed he'd never feel the sweet caress of her lips again.
Lord, he wanted nothing more than to take everything she was offering--her complete and unconditional love. And yet, beneath everything, there was still that one unavoidable fact. His way of life was toxic to her, and he'd never forgive himself if he continued to hurt her.
So instead of losing himself in her kiss--in her--he forced himself to speak the truth. "What if I do it again? What if I push too hard? What if I hurt you?"
Always doing the unexpected, she smiled. "We're both clear that I don't want to be the glitter girl you want me to be. But I do want you. And I get that figuring it all out might be messy. It won't always be easy to decide where I should draw the line on my junk and where you should draw the line on your parties." She pressed a finger to his lips when he began to open his mouth. "And you aren't like your parents, craving the next party. For you, there's a purpose for it."
No, he definitely didn't crave it the way he craved Charlie, her touch, her kiss, her.
She gave a delicate shrug of her shoulders. "But life and love can be messy and hard. That doesn't mean we chuck it in. We aren't Whitney and Evan. We certainly aren't your parents. We're strong enough to keep at it until we find the right compromise." She barely took a breath as she said, "We won't always be perfect, but we can make this work. We can be magnificent, because what we have is the best thing I've ever known. You are the best man I'll ever know. And I refuse to give up on you. So are you going to give me up without a fight? Or are you going to walk the mile right beside me every step of the way, no matter how hard it is?"
He felt what she was saying deep in his marrow. Come on, baby, fight for me like I'm fighting for you.
His parents had never fought for each other. But he and Charlie weren't his parents, damn it. With her by his side every single step of the way, the ghosts of his past couldn't have power over him. Not when her love for him--and his for her--was a billion times stronger than anything else in the world.
"I told myself I needed to let you go. That it was the only way to keep you safe. To make you happy. But damn it, I could never have done it." He framed her delicate face in his hands. Except that there was nothing delicate about Charlie. She was strong, independent, talented, stubborn. And she was perfectly imperfect. He loved her more than anything in the world. "I'll never stop fighting for you, Charlie. And I'll never stop loving you. Not for one single second. No matter what."
Then he lowered his mouth to hers, sealing his promise with a long, slow, lusciously sweet kiss.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
It was the most decadent kiss Charlie had ever tasted, and overflowing with hope. When he lifted her into his arms to carry her out of his office and into his bedroom, she deepened the kiss until her heart beat recklessly.
Their kiss was gentle and rough all at once, sweet and desperate. They rolled over on the bed until she was straddling him, and he reached up to smooth her hair back as it fell in a curtain over them. "I believe in love," he said softly. "And I've loved you from the very first moment." His gaze roamed her face like a touch. "But I grew up believing love wasn't enough."
She leaned her forehead against his. "It can be."
"You're teaching me that. Teaching me that we aren't my parents and we don't have to drag each other down. We don't have to be toxic to each other even if we're not exactly the same, even if some of our passions and hobbies are different. I should have learned a lot more from Susan and Bob than I did from my parents."
She nuzzled his hair. "It just took longer to understand that you could break the cycle your parents were stuck in."
He nodded so slightly it was barely there.
"Love goes wrong because of the two people involved," she told him. "It doesn't have to be th
at way for us, not if we're willing to work at it."
He stroked beneath the fall of hair at her nape. "Loving you isn't work. But I don't know if I'll be able to stop trying to help you in any way I can."
She held his face in her palms. "You wouldn't be you if you did. And I wouldn't love you so much if you weren't true to yourself the way I need to be true to who I am. I didn't see us as a partnership before, but now I do. And partners support each other. They share the cost, both physical and emotional."
"I will share anything and everything with you. You tell me what you need. I'll tell you what I need. Then like you said, we'll figure it out." He spread his hands. "All those parties, the people...I like to play there, but you, the Mavericks, Bob and Susan, that's my world. So if you want to attend a party with me, then you'll come. If you'd rather stay home to work or catch up on lessons or whatever, then that's what you'll do. I want you to be happy. We're not joined at the hip. I just want to come home to you."
"Home," she whispered. "I like the sound of that."
"You pick and choose your commissions. If it doesn't inspire you, don't do it."
"Or maybe when they ask for a cherub, I'll tell them they need a pterodactyl instead."
He laughed. Truly the most beautiful, wonderful man she'd ever known.
"God, I love you." She threw herself into him, hugging hard and tight, with all her breath, with everything in her.
"Then move in with me for good. Tonight. Now. Share my bed. Fall asleep in my arms every night. Wake up beside me every single morning."
"Yes," she whispered. "Yes to tonight. Yes to now. Yes to every night. Yes to every single morning."
Then she kissed him. Tasted his lips, then took his mouth, played with his tongue, and opened herself fully. She was ravenous for him, ripping his shirt off his shoulders, popping the snaps of his jeans. She gasped as he pulled down the top of her sundress and took her nipple in his mouth. She arched, moaned, tangled her fingers in his hair to hold him tight against her as pleasure spiked deep in her center.
His fingers caressed sensuously down her belly, pulling up the dress so he could slip beneath the elastic of her panties. "Marry me, Charlie. Marry me and be mine forever."
"Wait. Stop. What did you just say?"
But Sebastian didn't stop stroking her with sweet, hot patience, pushing her even higher. "Marry me."
"Sebastian." She writhed against him, struggling for breath, panting, everything a blur of sensation, his fingers inside her, his body plastered against her, his words. Marry me. She couldn't seem to say anything more than his name.
"Say yes, Charlie. Say you'll marry me."
She cried out then, a full-body explosion, an earthquake shuddering through her, breaking her apart, tearing her down. Then she grabbed Sebastian by the hair and pulled his face to hers. "Yes," she whispered again. "Yes, yes, yes."
And she devoured him with a kiss that said she'd never let him go.
*
They tore off the rest of their clothes in a flurry of madness. Sebastian wanted to be inside her, needed it so badly he could barely stop long enough for protection. Charlie's fingers trembled as she helped him. When the deed was done, she pushed him down and took control.
And it was so damn good to give everything he was over to her.
"Marry me," he rasped as she buried him deep inside her.
She rode him, slowly, tantalizingly, then leaned close over him. "I already said yes."
"I thought that was the orgasm talking." It was probably the last coherent thing he could get his mouth to say.
"That was an I-love-you-want-you-need-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you yes."
He planted his hands on her hips and moved her, needing so much more than the sensuous slip-slide of their bodies. "God, thank you, yes."
He filled her until she gasped out his name. She filled him just as deeply, claiming his heart. "Take me, Charlie," he begged. "Take everything."
They came together, split apart, moving as one, over and over, stealing his sanity, giving him his soul. Her hands on his chest, her eyes so green, glittering like jewels, her lips plump from his kisses.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I'll always love you." There was no other way. "I'd have loved you forever even if you never came back."
"I'll always come back, Sebastian." She made the vow even as her body contracted with pleasure around his. "Always."
He lost it all then, gave her everything, joined her in ecstasy, riding the perfect wave of release with her.
A while later, they lay sweaty and replete in each other's arms. He kissed her forehead softly. "You're my gorgeous Zanti Misfit." She laughed, the throaty sound that never failed to make him tremble with desire. He tipped up her chin with a finger. "I'm serious. You're my unexpected."
"Don't make me cry," she said, her voice already full of tears. Then she gasped and sat up, her eyes sparkling with that vision he so loved to see. "Oh my God, that's it."
"What?" He loved her gasps. They were either pleasure or inspiration.
"The gate!"
"The crusty old thing you found at the construction sale?"
"Yes." She bit her lip, her eyes sparkling. "I know what to do. We need to put it on the slope below the terrace with all the Zanti Misfits behind it. Whenever we need something unexpected, we'll let one out."
"Brilliant. That's what the Zantis are--all the unexpected things to come."
"I love you." Her smile lit the room like a moonbeam.
"And I love you." He disentangled their limbs. "So here's the first test of our new plan."
She sat up as he climbed off the bed, reaching over to turn on the lamp. They'd never slipped beneath the covers, and the light falling across her set her radiant skin glowing.
"What kind of test?" She narrowed her eyes playfully.
"You'll see." He retrieved the box from the closet and laid it on the bed. He'd had it wrapped in blue, with a dark blue ribbon around it. "A present."
Charlie tore into the paper with gusto, the way she did everything, from making love to welding her stallions to loving him. Then she pulled off the lid of the box.
After a long moment, she reached out to stroke the silk velvet. "The pearl dress."
"I bought it the same day you tried it on. I wanted you to wear it when we unveiled the stallions."
"Sebastian."
He put his finger over her lips the way she always did with him. "You know exactly how much it cost. I have money, and I'll always want to buy you pretty things without looking at the price tag. I'll want to spoil you. You just have to decide whether you want to take it."
She pulled the dress from its box, holding it up, touching the strands of real pearls. "It's so beautiful."
"You're what makes it beautiful."
She held it against herself, then gave him the gentlest of smiles. "Thank you. I love the dress. I want to wear it for you. Especially when we show everyone the chariot race."
"The chariot race?"
"It needs a name. Like a Rodin statue. The Chariot Race."
He pulled her close to kiss her. "It's perfect."
"And actually," she said when he finally let her up for air, "our first test has two parts."
"Anything, Charlie."
She let out her breath in a sigh as if she were preparing herself. "I'd like to frame your drawings of me working on The Chariot Race and hang them on the lobby walls for the grand opening. I want your work to complement mine." She dropped her voice to a plea. "To complete mine." She waited three beats of his heart. "And I want the world to know we're a team."
His body felt hot and cold, but he'd said he could change. He thought of all the nights she'd exposed herself for him, all the nights he'd paraded her through crowds of people. And the truth was that she'd shown him something special in his own work. She'd shown him the magic with that reflection in her face shield and the halo of sparks around her head.
"We're a team," he said. "How many
drawings do we need?"
Charlie threw herself at him, crushing the dress, the box, and him. Giving him everything he'd ever wanted, all the love he would ever need.
EPILOGUE
Sebastian's sketches of Charlie were nothing short of genius.
Matt leaned in for a closer look. Sebastian had captured the fully completed sculpture in the reflection of Charlie's face shield. That small detail turned the drawing into a masterpiece.
Next to him, Daniel was grinning. "I'm glad Sebastian finally came out of the closet."
Matt laughed. "Don't let the press hear you say that or they'll be starting rumors it'll take years to put down."
"Sebastian wouldn't care. Hell, he'd probably love it."
Matt laughed his agreement.
Everyone had arrived for the big unveiling at noon, and the lobby of Sebastian's new building was a crush. The creme de la creme of San Francisco society had turned out for the grand event--and so had all of Charlie's students from over the years. Her mother too. The champagne flowed, white-coated waiters circulated with trays of hors d'oeuvres, and at twelve-thirty, there would be a buffet on the mezzanine level above.
The sun edged toward the fountain. The Chariot Race was covered with a drape of silk attached to a pulley by nearly invisible wires that would sweep it away at the appropriate moment. The building itself was incredible, the glass setting off an astonishing view of San Francisco's financial district, and the bright, cloudless sky above. The supporting columns were gleaming chrome, and even the polished marble floor could be considered a work of art.
"How the hell did Charlie get him to show his sketches?" Daniel shook his head in wonder.
"She told me it was magic."
Matt was happy for his friend. Charlie was a class act. A good woman was hard to find, as Matt well knew since the fiasco with Noah's mother. After Irene, he wasn't taking any risks. He had a hard enough time keeping Noah's nannies around, let alone a girlfriend.
"Have you seen Will and Harper?" Matt asked as they moved down the impressive line of Sebastian's artwork. Elbowed out of the way by a woman demanding a closer look, he stepped back before she punctured his foot with her stiletto heel.
"I saw Jeremy earlier." Daniel chuckled. "He said they're going to watch from the mezzanine above so they could be close to the real food as soon as it's served."