She gave me a reproachful look. Im so s she started to say.
I pinched her lips together between my thumb and finger.
Jake, she mumbled, trying to pull my hand away. Her attempt was so weak it was hard to believe that she was really trying.
I shook my head. You can talk when youre not being stupid.
Fine, I wont say it, it sounded like she mumbled.
I pulled my hand away.
Sorry! she finished quickly, and then grinned.
I rolled my eyes and then smiled back at her.
When I stared into her eyes, I saw everything that Id been looking for in the park.
Tomorrow, shed be someone else. But hopefully alive, and that was what counted, right? Shed look at me with the same eyes, sort of. Smile with the same lips, almost. Shed still know me better than anyone who didnt have full access to the inside of my head.
Leah might be an interesting companion, maybe even a true friendsomeone who would stand up for me. But she wasnt my best friend the way that Bella was. Aside from the impossible love I felt for Bella, there was also that other bond, and it ran bone deep.
Tomorrow, shed be my enemy. Or shed be my ally. And, apparently, that distinction was up to me.
I sighed.
Fine! I thought, giving up the very last thing I had to give. It made me feel hollow. Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraims heir, you have my permission, my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were rightthey cant deny that its my right to agree to this.
Thank you. Edwards whisper was low enough that Bella didnt hear anything. But the words were so fervent that, from the corner of my eye, I saw the other vampires turning to stare.
So, Bella asked, working to be casual. How was your day?
Great. Went for a drive. Hung out in the park.
Sounds nice.
Sure, sure.
Suddenly, she made a face. Rose? she asked.
I heard Blondie chuckle. Again?
I think Ive drunk two gallons in the last hour, Bella explained.
Edward and I both got out of the way while Rosalie came to lift Bella from the couch and take her to the bathroom.
Can I walk? Bella asked. My legs are so stiff.
Are you sure? Edward asked.
Rosell catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I cant see them.
Rosalie set Bella carefully on her feet, keeping her hands right at Bellas shoulders. Bella stretched her arms out in front of her, wincing a little.
That feels good, she sighed. Ugh, but Im huge.
She really was. Her stomach was its own continent.
One more day, she said, and patted her stomach.
I couldnt help the pain that shot through me in a sudden, stabbing burst, but I tried to keep it off my face. I could hide it for one more day, right?
All righty, then. Whoopsoh, no!
The cup Bella had left on the sofa tumbled to one side, the dark red blood spilling out onto the pale fabric.
Automatically, though three other hands beat her there, Bella bent over, reaching out to catch it.
There was the strangest, muffled ripping sound from the center of her body.
Oh! she gasped.
And then she went totally limp, slumping toward the floor. Rosalie caught her in the same instant, before she could fall. Edward was there, too, hands out, the mess on the sofa forgotten.
Bella? he asked, and then his eyes unfocused, and panic shot across his features.
A half second later, Bella screamed.
It was not just a scream, it was a blood-curdling shriek of agony. The horrifying sound cut off with a gurgle, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body twitched, arched in Rosalies arms, and then Bella vomited a fountain of blood.
18. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR THIS.
Bellas body, streaming with red, started to twitch, jerking around in Rosalies arms like she was being electrocuted. All the while, her face was blankunconscious. It was the wild thrashing from inside the center of her body that moved her. As she convulsed, sharp snaps and cracks kept time with the spasms.
Rosalie and Edward were frozen for the shortest half second, and then they broke. Rosalie whipped Bellas body into her arms, and, shouting so fast it was hard to separate the individual words, she and Edward shot up the staircase to the second floor.
I sprinted after them.
Morphine! Edward yelled at Rosalie.
Aliceget Carlisle on the phone! Rosalie screeched.
The room I followed them to looked like an emergency ward set up in the middle of a library. The lights were brilliant and white. Bella was on a table under the glare, skin ghostly in the spotlight. Her body flopped, a fish on the sand. Rosalie pinned Bella down, yanking and ripping her clothes out of the way, while Edward stabbed a syringe into her arm.
How many times had I imagined her naked? Now I couldnt look. I was afraid to have these memories in my head.
Whats happening, Edward?
Hes suffocating!
The placenta must have detached!
Somewhere in this, Bella came around. She responded to their words with a shriek that clawed at my eardrums.
Get him OUT! she screamed. He cant BREATHE! Do it NOW!
I saw the red spots pop out when her scream broke the blood vessels in her eyes.
The morphine, Edward growled.
NO! NOW! Another gush of blood choked off what she was shrieking. He held her head up, desperately trying to clear her mouth so that she could breathe again.
Alice darted into the room and clipped a little blue earpiece under Rosalies hair. Then Alice backed away, her gold eyes wide and burning, while Rosalie hissed frantically into the phone.
In the bright light, Bellas skin seemed more purple and black than it was white. Deep red was seeping beneath the skin over the huge, shuddering bulge of her stomach. Rosalies hand came up with a scalpel.
Let the morphine spread! Edward shouted at her.
Theres no time, Rosalie hissed. Hes dying!
Her hand came down on Bellas stomach, and vivid red spouted out from where she pierced the skin. It was like a bucket being turned over, a faucet twisted to full. Bella jerked, but didnt scream. She was still choking.
And then Rosalie lost her focus. I saw the expression on her face shift, saw her lips pull back from her teeth and her black eyes glint with thirst.
No, Rose! Edward roared, but his hands were trapped, trying to prop Bella upright so she could breathe.
I launched myself at Rosalie, jumping across the table without bothering to phase. As I hit her stone body, knocking her toward the door, I felt the scalpel in her hand stab deep into my left arm. My right palm smashed against her face, locking her jaw and blocking her airways.
I used my grip on Rosalies face to swing her body out so that I could land a solid kick in her gut; it was like kicking concrete. She flew into the door frame, buckling one side of it. The little speaker in her ear crackled into pieces. Then Alice was there, yanking her by the throat to get her into the hall.
And I had to give it to Blondieshe didnt put up an ounce of fight. She wanted us to win. She let me trash her like that, to save Bella. Well, to save the thing.
I ripped the blade out of my arm.
Alice, get her out of here! Edward shouted. Take her to Jasper and keep her there! Jacob, I need you!
I didnt watch Alice finish the job. I wheeled back to the operating table, where Bella was turning blue, her eyes wide and staring.
CPR? Edward growled at me, fast and demanding.
Yes!
I judged his face swiftly, looking for any sign that he was going to react like Rosalie. There was nothing but single-minded ferocity.
Get her breathing! Ive got to get him out before
Another shattering crack inside her body, the loudest yet, so loud that we both froze in shock waiting for her answering shriek. Nothing. Her legs, which had been curled up in a
gony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way.
Her spine, he choked in horror.
Get it out of her! I snarled, flinging the scalpel at him. She wont feel anything now!
And then I bent over her head. Her mouth looked clear, so I pressed mine to hers and blew a lungful of air into it. I felt her twitching body expand, so there was nothing blocking her throat.
Her lips tasted like blood.
I could hear her heart, thumping unevenly. Keep it going, I thought fiercely at her, blowing another gust of air into her body. You promised. Keep your heart beating.
I heard the soft, wet sound of the scalpel across her stomach. More blood dripping to the floor.
The next sound jolted through me, unexpected, terrifying. Like metal being shredded apart. The sound brought back the fight in the clearing so many months ago, the tearing sound of the newborns being ripped apart. I glanced over to see Edwards face pressed against the bulge. Vampire teetha surefire way to cut through vampire skin.
I shuddered as I blew more air into Bella.
She coughed back at me, her eyes blinking, rolling blindly.
You stay with me now, Bella! I yelled at her. Do you hear me? Stay! Youre not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!
Her eyes wheeled, looking for me, or him, but seeing nothing.
I stared into them anyway, keeping my gaze locked there.
And then her body was suddenly still under my hands, though her breathing picked up roughly and her heart continued to thud. I realized the stillness meant that it was over. The internal beating was over. It must be out of her.
It was.
Edward whispered, Renesmee.
So Bellad been wrong. It wasnt the boy shed imagined. No big surprise there. What hadnt she been wrong about?
I didnt look away from her red-spotted eyes, but I felt her hands lift weakly.
Let me, she croaked in a broken whisper. Give her to me.
I guess I should have known that he would always give her what she wanted, no matter how stupid her request might be. But I didnt dream he would listen to her now. So I didnt think to stop him.
Something warm touched my arm. That right there should have caught my attention. Nothing felt warm to me.
But I couldnt look away from Bellas face. She blinked and then stared, finally seeing something. She moaned out a strange, weak croon.
Renes mee. So beautiful.
And then she gaspedgasped in pain.
By the time I looked, it was too late. Edward had snatched the warm, bloody thing out of her limp arms. My eyes flickered across her skin. It was red with bloodthe blood that had flowed from her mouth, the blood smeared all over the creature, and fresh blood welling out of a tiny double-crescent bite mark just over her left breast.
No, Renesmee, Edward murmured, like he was teaching the monster manners.
I didnt look at him or it. I watched only Bella as her eyes rolled back into her head.
With a last dull ga-lump, her heart faltered and went silent.
She missed maybe half of one beat, and then my hands were on her chest, doing compressions. I counted in my head, trying to keep the rhythm steady. One. Two. Three. Four.
Breaking away for a second, I blew another lungful of air into her.
I couldnt see anymore. My eyes were wet and blurry. But I was hyperaware of the sounds in the room. The unwilling glug-glug of her heart under my demanding hands, the pounding of my own heart, and anothera fluttering beat that was too fast, too light. I couldnt place it.
I forced more air down Bellas throat.
What are you waiting for? I choked out breathlessly, pumping her heart again. One. Two. Three. Four.
Take the baby, Edward said urgently.
Throw it out the window. One. Two. Three. Four.
Give her to me, a low voice chimed from the doorway.
Edward and I snarled at the same time.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Ive got it under control, Rosalie promised. Give me the baby, Edward. Ill take care of her until Bella . . .
I breathed for Bella again while the exchange took place. The fluttering thumpa-thumpa-thumpa faded away with distance.
Move your hands, Jacob.
I looked up from Bellas white eyes, still pumping her heart for her. Edward had a syringe in his handall silver, like it was made from steel.
Whats that?
His stone hand knocked mine out of the way. There was a tiny crunch as his blow broke my little finger. In the same second, he shoved the needle straight into her heart.
My venom, he answered as he pushed the plunger down.
I heard the jolt in her heart, like hed shocked her with paddles.
Keep it moving, he ordered. His voice was ice, was dead. Fierce and unthinking. Like he was a machine.
I ignored the healing ache in my finger and started pumping her heart again. It was harder, as if her blood was congealing therethicker and slower. While I pushed the now-viscous blood through her arteries, I watched what he was doing.
It was like he was kissing her, brushing his lips at her throat, at her wrists, into the crease at the inside of her arm. But I could hear the lush tearing of her skin as his teeth bit through, again and again, forcing venom into her system at as many points as possible. I saw his pale tongue sweep along the bleeding gashes, but before this could make me either sick or angry, I realized what he was doing. Where his tongue washed the venom over her skin, it sealed shut. Holding the poison and the blood inside her body.
I blew more air into her mouth, but there was nothing there. Just the lifeless rise of her chest in response. I kept pumping her heart, counting, while he worked manically over her, trying to put her back together. All the kings horses and all the kings men
But there was nothing there, just me, just him.
Working over a corpse.
Because thats all that was left of the girl we both loved. This broken, bled-out, mangled corpse. We couldnt put Bella together again.
I knew it was too late. I knew she was dead. I knew it for sure because the pull was gone. I didnt feel any reason to be here beside her. She wasnt here anymore. So this body had no more draw for me. The senseless need to be near her had vanished.
Or maybe moved was the better word. It seemed like I felt the pull from the opposite direction now. From down the stairs, out the door. The longing to get away from here and never, ever come back.
Go, then, he snapped, and he hit my hands out of the way again, taking my place this time. Three fingers broken, it felt like.
I straightened them numbly, not minding the throb of pain.
He pushed her dead heart faster than I had.
Shes not dead, he growled. Shes going to be fine.
I wasnt sure he was talking to me anymore.
Turning away, leaving him with his dead, I walked slowly to the door. So slowly. I couldnt make my feet move faster.
This was it, then. The ocean of pain. The other shore so far away across the boiling water that I couldnt imagine it, much less see it.
I felt empty again, now that Id lost my purpose. Saving Bella had been my fight for so long now. And she wouldnt be saved. Shed willingly sacrificed herself to be torn apart by that monsters young, and so the fight was lost. It was all over.
I shuddered at the sound coming from behind me as I plodded down the stairsthe sound of a dead heart being forced to thud.
I wanted to somehow pour bleach inside my head and let it fry my brain. To burn away the images left from Bellas final minutes. Id take the brain damage if I could get rid of thatthe screaming, the bleeding, the unbearable crunching and snapping as the newborn monster tore through her from the inside out. . . .
I wanted to sprint away, to take the stairs ten at a time and race out the door, but my feet were heavy as iron and my body was more tired than it had ever been before. I shuffled down the stairs like a crippled old man.
I rested at the bottom step, gathering my strength to get out t
he door.
Rosalie was on the clean end of the white sofa, her back to me, cooing and murmuring to the blanket-wrapped thing in her arms. She must have heard me pause, but she ignored me, caught up in her moment of stolen motherhood. Maybe she would be happy now. Rosalie had what she wanted, and Bella would never come to take the creature from her. I wondered if thats what the poisonous blonde had been hoping for all along.
She held something dark in her hands, and there was a greedy sucking sound coming from the tiny murderer she held.
The scent of blood in the air. Human blood. Rosalie was feeding it. Of course it would want blood. What else would you feed the kind of monster that would brutally mutilate its own mother? It might as well have been drinking Bellas blood. Maybe it was.