CHAPTER IX.
_NEW-YEAR'S CALLS._
"Now I'm going to turn over a new leaf, as I promised. I wonder what Ishall find on the next page?" said Rose, coming down on New-Year'smorning, with a serious face, and a thick letter in her hand.
"Tired of frivolity, my dear?" asked her uncle, pausing, in his walkup and down the hall, to glance at her with the quick, bright look sheliked to bring into his eyes.
"No, sir, and that's the sad part of it; but I've made up my mind tostop while I can, because I'm sure it is not good for me. I've hadsome very sober thoughts lately; for, since my Phebe went away, I'vehad no heart for gayety: so it is a good place to stop and make afresh start," answered Rose, taking his arm, and walking on with him.
"An excellent time! Now, how are you going to fill the aching void?"he asked, well pleased.
"By trying to be as unselfish, brave, and good as she is." And Roseheld the letter against her bosom with a tender touch, for Phebe'sstrength had inspired her with a desire to be as self-reliant. "I'mgoing to set about living in earnest, as she has; though I think itwill be harder for me than for her, because she stands alone, and hasa career marked out for her. I'm nothing but a common-place sort ofgirl, with no end of relations to be consulted every time I wink, anda dreadful fortune hanging like a millstone round my neck, to weigh medown if I try to fly. It is a hard case, uncle, and I get low in mymind when I think about it," sighed Rose, oppressed with herblessings.
"Afflicted child! how can I relieve you?" And there was amusement aswell as sympathy in Dr. Alec's face, as he patted the hand upon hisarm.
"Please don't laugh, for I really _am_ trying to be good. In the firstplace, help me to wean myself from foolish pleasures, and show me howto occupy my thoughts and time so that I may not idle about and dream,instead of doing great things."
"Good! we'll begin at once. Come to town with me this morning, and seeyour houses. They are all ready, and Mrs. Gardener has half a dozenpoor souls waiting to go in as soon as you give the word," answeredthe doctor, promptly, glad to get his girl back again, though notsurprised that she still looked with regretful eyes at the VanityFair, always so enticing when we are young.
"I'll give it to-day, and make the new year a happy one to those poorsouls at least. I'm so sorry that it's impossible for me to go withyou, but you know I must help Aunty Plen receive. We haven't been herefor so long that she has set her heart on having a grand time to-day;and I particularly want to please her, because I have not been asamiable as I ought lately. I really couldn't forgive her for sidingagainst Phebe."
"She did what she thought was right: so we must not blame her. I amgoing to make my New-Year's calls to-day; and, as my friends live downthat way, I'll get the list of names from Mrs. G., and tell the poorladies, with Miss Campbell's compliments, that their new home isready. Shall I?"
"Yes, uncle, but take all the credit to yourself; for I never shouldhave thought of it if you had not proposed the plan."
"Bless your heart! I'm only your agent, and suggest now and then. I'venothing to offer but advice: so I lavish that on all occasions."
"You have nothing because you've given your substance all away asgenerously as you do your advice. Never mind: you shall never come towant while I live. I'll save enough for us two, though I do make'ducks and drakes of my fortune.'"
Dr. Alec laughed at the toss of the head with which she quotedCharlie's offensive words, then offered to take the letter, saying, ashe looked at his watch,--
"I'll post that for you in time for the early mail. I like a runbefore breakfast."
But Rose held her letter fast, dimpling with sudden smiles, half merryand half shy.
"No, thank you, sir: Archie likes to do that, and never fails to callfor all I write. He gets a peep at Phebe's in return, and I cheer himup a bit; for, though he says nothing, he has a hard time of it, poorfellow."
"How many letters in five days?"
"Four, sir, to me: she doesn't write to him, uncle."
"As yet. Well, you show hers: so it's all right; and you are a set ofsentimental youngsters." And the doctor walked away, looking as if heenjoyed the sentiment as much as any of them.
Old Miss Campbell was nearly as great a favorite as young MissCampbell; so a succession of black coats and white gloves flowed inand out of the hospitable mansion pretty steadily all day. The clanwere out in great force, and came by instalments to pay their duty toAunt Plenty, and wish the compliments of the season to "our cousin."Archie appeared first, looking sad but steadfast, and went away withPhebe's letter in his left breast-pocket; feeling that life was stillendurable, though his love was torn from him: for Rose had manycomfortable things to say, and read him delicious bits from thevoluminous correspondence lately begun.
Hardly was he gone, when Will and Geordie came marching in, looking asfine as gray uniforms with much scarlet piping could make them, andfeeling peculiarly important, as this was their first essay inNew-Year's call-making. Brief was their stay, for they planned tovisit every friend they had; and Rose could not help laughing at thedroll mixture of manly dignity and boyish delight with which theydrove off in their own carriage, both as erect as ramrods, armsfolded, and caps stuck at exactly the same angle on each blonde head.
"Here comes the other couple,--Steve, in full feather, with a bigbouquet for Kitty; and poor Mac, looking like a gentleman and feelinglike a martyr, I'm sure," said Rose, watching one carriage turn in asthe other turned out of the great gate, with its arch of holly, ivy,and evergreen.
"Here he is: I've got him in tow for the day, and want you to cheerhim up with a word of praise; for he came without a struggle, thoughplanning to bolt somewhere with uncle," cried Steve, falling back todisplay his brother, who came in, looking remarkably well in his stateand festival array; for polishing began to tell.
"A happy New Year, aunty; same to you, cousin, and best wishes for asmany more as you deserve," said Mac, heeding Steve no more than if hehad been a fly, as he gave the old lady a hearty kiss, and offeredRose a quaint little nosegay of pansies.
"Heart's-ease: do you think I need it?" she asked, looking up withsudden sobriety.
"We all do. Could I give you any thing better on a day like this?"
"No: thank you very much," and a sudden dew came to Rose's eyes; for,though often blunt in speech, when Mac did do a tender thing, italways touched her; because he seemed to understand her moods so well.
"Has Archie been here? He said he shouldn't go anywhere else; but Ihope you talked that nonsense out of his head," said Steve, settlinghis tie before the mirror.
"Yes, dear, he came; but looked so out of spirits, I really feltreproached. Rose cheered him up a little: but I don't believe he willfeel equal to making calls, and I hope he won't; for his face tellsthe whole story much too plainly," answered Aunt Plenty, rustlingabout her bountiful table in her richest black silk, with all her oldlace on.
"Oh, he'll get over it in a month or two, and Phebe will soon findanother lover; so don't be worried about him, aunty," said Steve, withthe air of a man who knew all about that sort of thing.
"If Archie does forget, I shall despise him; and I know Phebe won'ttry to find another lover, though she'll probably have them: she isso sweet and good!" cried Rose, indignantly; for, having taken thepair under her protection, she defended them valiantly.
"Then you'd have Arch hope against hope, and never give up, wouldyou?" asked Mac, putting on his glasses to survey the thin boots whichwere his especial abomination.
"Yes, I would! for a lover is not worth having if he's not inearnest."
"Exactly: so you'd like them to wait and work and keep on loving tillthey made you relent, or plainly proved that it was no use."
"If they were good as well as constant, I think I should relent intime."
"I'll mention that to Pemberton; for he seemed to be hit the hardest,and a ray of hope will do him good, whether he is equal to the tenyears' wait or not," put in Steve, who liked to rally Rose about herlovers.
"I'll never forgive you if you say a word to any one. It is only Mac'sodd way of asking questions, and I ought not to answer them. You_will_ talk about such things, and I can't stop you; but I don't likeit," said Rose, much annoyed.
"Poor little Penelope! she shall not be teased about her suitors, butleft in peace till her Ulysses comes home," said Mac, sitting down toread the mottoes sticking out of certain fanciful bonbons on thetable.
"It is this fuss about Archie which has demoralized us all. Even theowl waked up, and hasn't got over the excitement yet, you see. He'shad no experience, poor fellow; so he doesn't know how to behave,"observed Steve, regarding his bouquet with tender interest.
"That's true; and I asked for information, because I may be in lovemyself some day, and all this will be useful, don't you see?"
"You in love!" and Steve could not restrain a laugh at the idea of thebookworm a slave to the tender passion.
Quite unruffled, Mac leaned his chin in both hands, regarding themwith a meditative eye, and he answered in his whimsical way,--
"Why not? I intend to study love as well as medicine; for it is one ofthe most mysterious and remarkable diseases that afflict mankind, andthe best way to understand it is to have it. I may catch it some day,and then I should like to know how to treat and cure it."
"If you take it as badly as you did measles and hooping-cough, it willgo hard with you, old fellow," said Steve, much amused with the fancy.
"I want it to: no great experience comes or goes easily; and this isthe greatest we can know, I believe, except death."
Something in Mac's quiet tone and thoughtful eyes made Rose look athim in surprise; for she had never heard him speak in that way before.Steve also stared for an instant, equally amazed; then said below hisbreath, with an air of mock anxiety,--
"He's been catching something at the hospital, typhoid probably, andis beginning to wander. I'll take him quietly away before he gets anywilder. Come, old lunatic, we must be off."
"Don't be alarmed: I'm all right and much obliged for your advice; forI fancy I shall be a desperate lover when my time comes, if it everdoes. You don't think it impossible, do you?" and Mac put the questionso soberly that there was a general smile.
"Certainly not: you'll be a regular Douglas, tender and true,"answered Rose, wondering what queer question would come next.
"Thank you. The fact is, I've been with Archie so much in his troublelately that I've got interested in this matter, and very naturallywant to investigate the subject as every rational man must, sooner orlater: that's all. Now, Steve, I'm ready," and Mac got up as if thelesson was over.
"My dear, that boy is either a fool or a genius, and I'm sure I shouldbe glad to know which," said Aunt Plenty, putting her bonbons torights with a puzzled shake of her best cap.
"Time will show; but I incline to think that he is not a fool by anymeans," answered the girl, pulling a cluster of white roses out of herbosom to make room for the pansies, though they did not suit the bluegown half so well.
Just then Aunt Jessie came in to help them receive, with Jamie to makehimself generally useful; which he proceeded to do by hovering roundthe table like a fly about a honey-pot, when not flattening his noseagainst the window-panes, to announce excitedly, "Here's another mancoming up the drive!"
Charlie arrived next, in his most sunshiny humor; for any thing socialand festive was his delight, and when in this mood the Prince wasquite irresistible. He brought a pretty bracelet for Rose, and wasgraciously allowed to put it on, while she chid him gently for hisextravagance.
"I am only following your example; for, you know, 'nothing is too goodfor those we love, and giving away is the best thing one can do,'" heretorted, quoting words of her own.
"I wish you would follow my example in some other things as well asyou do in this," said Rose, soberly, as Aunt Plenty called him to comeand see if the punch was right.
"Must conform to the customs of society. Aunty's heart would bebroken, if we did not drink her health in the good old fashion. Butdon't be alarmed: I've a strong head of my own, and that's lucky; forI shall need it before I get through," laughed Charlie, showing a longlist, as he turned away to gratify the old lady with all sorts ofmerry and affectionate compliments as the glasses touched.
Rose did feel rather alarmed; for, if he drank the health of all theowners of those names, she felt sure that Charlie would need a verystrong head indeed. It was hard to say any thing, then and there,without seeming disrespect to Aunt Plenty: yet she longed to remindher cousin of the example she tried to set him in this respect; forRose never touched wine, and the boys knew it. She was thoughtfullyturning the bracelet with its pretty device of turquoiseforget-me-nots, when the giver came back to her, still bubbling overwith good spirits.
"Dear little saint, you look as if you'd like to smash all thepunch-bowls in the city, and save us jolly young fellows fromto-morrow's headache."
"I should; for such headaches sometimes end in heartaches, I'm afraid.Dear Charlie, don't be angry; but you know better than I that this isa dangerous day for such as you: so do be careful for my sake," sheadded, with an unwonted touch of tenderness in her voice; for, lookingat the gallant figure before her, it was impossible to repress thewomanly longing to keep it always as brave and blithe as now.
Charlie saw that new softness in the eyes that never looked unkindlyon him, fancied that it meant more than it did, and, with a suddenfervor in his own voice, answered quickly,--
"My darling, I will!"
The glow which had risen to his face was reflected in hers; for atthat moment it seemed as if it would be possible to love this cousin,who was so willing to be led by her, and so much needed some helpfulinfluence to make a noble man of him. The thought came and went likea flash; but gave her a quick heart-throb, as if the old affection wastrembling on the verge of some warmer sentiment, and left her with asense of responsibility never felt before. Obeying the impulse, shesaid, with a pretty blending of earnestness and playfulness,--
"If I wear the bracelet to remember you by, you must wear this toremind you of your promise."
"And you," whispered Charlie, bending his head to kiss the hands thatput a little white rose in his button-hole.
Just at that most interesting moment, they became aware of an arrivalin the front drawing-room, whither Aunt Plenty had discreetly retired.Rose felt grateful for the interruption; because, not being at allsure of the state of her heart as yet, she was afraid of letting asudden impulse lead her too far. But Charlie, conscious that a verypropitious instant had been spoilt, regarded the newcomer with anything but a benignant expression of countenance; and whispering,"Good-by, my Rose, I shall look in this evening to see how you areafter the fatigues of the day," he went away, with such a cool nod topoor Fun See that the amiable Asiatic thought he must have mortallyoffended him.
Rose had little leisure to analyze the new emotions of which she wasconscious: for Mr. Tokio came up at once to make his compliments witha comical mingling of Chinese courtesy and American awkwardness; andbefore he had got his hat on Jamie shouted with admiring energy,--
"Here's another! Oh, such a swell!"
They now came thick and fast for many hours; and the ladies stoodbravely at their posts till late into the evening. Then Aunt Jessiewent home, escorted by a very sleepy little son, and Aunt Plentyretired to bed used up. Dr. Alec had returned in good season; for_his_ friends were not fashionable ones: but Aunt Myra had sent up forhim in hot haste, and he had good-naturedly obeyed the summons. Infact, he was quite used to them now; for Mrs. Myra, having tried avariety of dangerous diseases, had finally decided uponheart-complaint as the one most likely to keep her friends in achronic state of anxiety, and was continually sending word that shewas dying. One gets used to palpitations as well as every thing else;so the doctor felt no alarm, but always went, and prescribed someharmless remedy with the most amiable sobriety and patience.
Rose was tired, but not sleepy, and wanted to think over severalthings; so ins
tead of going to bed she sat down before the open firein the study to wait for her uncle, and perhaps Charlie, though shedid not expect him so late.
Aunt Myra's palpitations must have been unusually severe; for theclock struck twelve before Dr. Alec came, and Rose was preparing toend her reverie, when the sound of some one fumbling at the hall-doormade her jump up, saying to herself,--
"Poor man! his hands are so cold he can't get his latch-key in. Isthat you, uncle?" she added, running to admit him; for Jane was slow,and the night as bitter as it was brilliant.
A voice answered "Yes," and as the door swung open in walked,--not Dr.Alec, but Charlie, who immediately took one of the hall chairs, andsat there with his hat on, rubbing his gloveless hands, and blinkingas if the light dazzled him, as he said in a rapid, abrupt sort oftone,--
"I told you I'd come--left the fellows keeping it up gloriously--goingto see the old year out, you know. But I promised--never break myword--and here I am. Angel in blue, did you slay your thousands?"
"Hush! the waiters are still about: come to the study fire and warmyourself; you must be frozen," said Rose, going before to roll up theeasy-chair.
"Not at all--never warmer--looks very comfortable, though. Where'suncle?" asked Charlie, following with his hat still on, his hands inhis pockets, and his eye fixed steadily on the bright head in front ofhim.
"Aunt Myra sent for him, and I was waiting up to see how she was,"answered Rose, busily mending the fire.
Charlie laughed, and sat down upon a corner of the library table."Poor old soul! what a pity she doesn't die before he is quite wornout. A little too much ether some of these times would send her offquite comfortably, you know."
"Don't speak in that way. Uncle says imaginary troubles are often ashard to bear as real ones," said Rose, turning round displeased.
Till now she had not fairly looked at him; for recollections of themorning made her a little shy. His attitude and appearance surprisedher as much as his words, and the quick change in her face seemed toremind him of his manners. Getting up, he hastily took off his hat,and stood looking at her with a curiously fixed yet absent look, as hesaid in the same rapid, abrupt way, as if, when once started, he foundit hard to stop,--
"I beg pardon--only joking--very bad taste I know, and won't do itagain. The heat of the room makes me a little dizzy, and I think I gota chill coming out. It _is_ cold--I _am_ frozen, I dare say--though Idrove like the devil."
"Not that bad horse of yours, I hope? I know it is dangerous, so lateand alone," said Rose, shrinking behind the big chair, as Charlieapproached the fire, carefully avoiding a footstool in his way.
"Danger is exciting--that's why I like it. No man ever called me acoward--let him try it once. I never give in--and that horse shall_not_ conquer me. I'll break his neck, if he breaks my spirit doingit. No--I don't mean that--never mind--it's all right," and Charlielaughed in a way that troubled her, because there was no mirth in it.
"Have you had a pleasant day?" asked Rose, looking at him intently, ashe stood pondering over the cigar and match which he held, as ifdoubtful which to strike and which to smoke.
"Day? oh, yes, capital. About two thousand calls, and a nice littlesupper at the Club. Randal can't sing any more than a crow; but I lefthim with a glass of champagne upside-down trying to give them my oldfavorite,--
"''Tis better to laugh than be sighing;'"
and Charlie burst forth in that bacchanalian melody at the top of hisvoice, waving an allumette-holder over his head to represent Randal'sinverted wine-glass.
"Hush! you'll wake aunty," cried Rose, in a tone so commanding that hebroke off in the middle of a _roulade_ to stare at her with a blanklook, as he said apologetically,--
"I was merely showing how it should be done. Don't be angry,dearest--look at me as you did this morning, and I'll swear never tosing another note if you say so. I'm only a little gay--we drank yourhealth handsomely, and they all congratulated me. Told 'em it wasn'tout yet. Stop, though--I didn't mean to mention that. No matter--I'malways in a scrape; but you always forgive me in the sweetest way. Doit now, and don't be angry, little darling;" and, dropping the vase,he went toward her with a sudden excitement that made her shrinkbehind the chair.
She was not angry, but shocked and frightened; for she knew now whatthe matter was, and grew so pale he saw it, and asked pardon beforeshe could utter a rebuke.
"We'll talk of that to-morrow: it is very late; go home, now, please,before uncle comes," she said, trying to speak naturally; yetbetraying her distress by the tremor of her voice, and the sad anxietyin her eyes.
"Yes, yes, I will go--you are tired--I'll make it all rightto-morrow;" and, as if the sound of his uncle's name steadied him foran instant, Charlie made for the door with an unevenness of gait whichwould have told the shameful truth, if his words had not already doneso. Before he reached it, however, the sound of wheels arrested him;and, leaning against the wall, he listened with a look of dismaymingled with amusement creeping over his face. "Brutus has bolted--nowI _am_ in a fix. Can't walk home with this horrid dizziness in myhead. It's the cold, Rose, nothing else, I do assure you; and achill--yes, a chill. See here! let one of those fellows there lend mean arm--no use to go after that brute. Won't mother be frightenedthough, when he gets home?" and with that empty laugh again, hefumbled for the door-handle.
"No, no: don't let them see you! don't let any one know! Stay heretill uncle comes, and he'll take care of you. O Charlie! how could youdo it! how could you when you promised?" and, forgetting fear in thesudden sense of shame and anguish that came over her, Rose ran to him,caught his hand from the lock, and turned the key; then, as if shecould not bear to see him standing there with that vacant smile uponhis lips, she dropped into a chair and covered up her face.
The cry, the act, and more than all, the sight of the bowed head wouldhave sobered poor Charlie, if it had not been too late. He lookedabout the room, with a vague, despairing look, as if to find thereason fast slipping from his control: but heat and cold, excitementand reckless pledging of many healths, had done their work too well tomake instant sobriety possible; and owning his defeat with a groan, heturned away and threw himself face-downward on the sofa; one of thesaddest sights the new year looked upon as it came in.
As she sat there with hidden eyes, Rose felt that something dear toher was dead for ever. The ideal, which all women cherish, look for,and too often think they have found when love glorifies a mortal man,is hard to give up, especially when it comes in the likeness of thefirst lover who touches a young girl's heart. Rose had just begun tofeel that perhaps this cousin, despite his faults, might yet becomethe hero that he sometimes looked; and the thought that she might behis inspiration was growing sweet to her, although she had notentertained it until very lately. Alas, how short the tender dream hadbeen, how rude the awakening! how impossible it would be ever againto surround that fallen figure with all the romance of an innocentfancy, or gift it with the high attributes beloved by a noble nature!
Breathing heavily in the sudden sleep that kindly brought a briefoblivion of himself, he lay with flushed cheeks, disordered hair, andat his feet the little rose, that never would be fresh and fairagain,--a pitiful contrast now to the brave, blithe young man who wentso gayly out that morning to be so ignominiously overthrown at night.
Many girls would have made light of a trespass so readily forgiven bythe world; but Rose had not yet learned to offer temptation with asmile, and shut her eyes to the weakness that makes a man a brute. Italways grieved or disgusted her to see it in others, and now it wasvery terrible to have it brought so near,--not in its worst form, byany means, but bad enough to wring her heart with shame and sorrow,and fill her mind with dark forebodings for the future. So she couldonly sit mourning for the Charlie that might have been, while watchingthe Charlie that was, with an ache at her heart which found no relieftill, putting her hands there as if to ease the pain, they touched thepansies, faded, but still showing gold among the sombre purple; andthen tw
o great tears dropped on them as she sighed,--
"Ah me! I do need heart's-ease sooner than I thought!"
Her uncle's step made her spring up and unlock the door, showing himsuch an altered face that he stopped short, ejaculating in dismay,--
"Good heavens, child! what's the matter?" adding, as she pointed tothe sofa in pathetic silence, "Is he hurt?--ill?--dead?"
"No, uncle: he is--" She could not utter the ugly word, but whispered,with a sob in her throat, "Be kind to him," and fled away to her ownroom, feeling as if a great disgrace had fallen on the house.