It would have been better than living as a Pale.
After I got out of the hospital, I stayed off school for a few days. But things at home were hard. Dad didn’t even look at me. Mom tried to be nice, but I could tell she was sad. I heard her crying when she thought I wasn’t around.
I didn’t feel any different to the way I was before. I still felt like the same old Jed inside. But Mom and Dad didn’t think I was the same. When they looked at me they saw a Pale. A Pale that looked like their dead son.
I couldn’t stand being at home. It was making me too sad. So I went back to school.
Dad used to drop me off in his car in the mornings. But he didn’t want to do it anymore. It would look bad. He was an Afterlife lawyer, after all. His job was to take stuff from Pales. What would people say if they knew his own son was a Pale?
So I walked instead.
It wasn’t easy, going to my first class. Everyone stared at me. They’d all heard what had happened. I tried to stare back at them, to defy them. I was still the same Jed they’d known a few days ago! But I couldn’t help looking down at my feet. I felt so small. I knew what they thought of me.
Our first class of the day was with Mr. Grayson. He just looked at me as I sat down. He didn’t say anything, but there was a little smirk on his face. Then he wrote on the board. Five big letters.
“‘KARMA,’” he said. “Today, class, we’re going to learn the meaning of the word ‘KARMA.’”
Nobody spoke to me all morning. It was like they didn’t know what to do with me. The second class was worse than the first. I felt like I didn’t belong in my seat. I wanted to go home, but home was just as bad.
At lunch break, I went to the spot where we always met. They were all there. Kyle, Sadie and the twins. They were laughing and joking. I walked over to them.
One of the twins saw me coming. He nudged the others, and they stopped laughing. Kyle’s face went hard.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he said, as I joined them.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He pointed to the group of Pales on the other side of the schoolyard. They were muttering to each other and looking at me. “That’s where you belong now,” Kyle said.
I couldn’t believe it. “Kyle!” I said. “It’s me – Jed! Remember? Your best friend!”
Kyle shook his head. He looked really angry. “Jed died. He was hit by a car. You … you’re just a Pale.”
“I didn’t want to be a Pale!” I shouted. I pointed at Sadie. “She brought me back!” Sadie began to cry.
“Look what you’ve done!” Kyle said. “Get out of here!”
I ignored him. “Sadie!” I said. “Look at me! Why did you do it?”
“Leave her alone!” one of the twins shouted. He grabbed my arm, but I shook him off.
“Stay out of this!” I said, “She’s my girlfriend!” I stared at Sadie. “Why did you do it?”
“Because I loved you!” she said. There were tears running down her face. “Because I couldn’t stand to lose you!”
I couldn’t speak for a minute. She loved me? It was the first time she’d ever said it. It was the first time any girl had said it to me.
Sadie turned away. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter?” I shouted. “How can you say it doesn’t matter?”
Sadie wiped her eyes. “It doesn’t matter, because you’re a Pale. We can’t ever be together now. It just wouldn’t work.”
“You’re breaking up with me?” I said. “You brought me back to life, you made me a Pale, and now you’re breaking up with me?”
Kyle stepped between us. “You heard her,” he said. “It’s over.”
“Get out of my way!” I said. I tried to get past him, but he shoved me away. Hard. I tripped and fell to the ground.
“Jed is dead,” Kyle said. “Go hang out with your Pale friends.”
I lay there, stunned. My friends were looking at me like I was an enemy. My girlfriend had turned her back on me. Some kids nearby were laughing at me, there on the ground. They would never have dared to laugh at me before. The Pale kids watched me from the other side of the schoolyard. They could sense they were about to get a new member for their creepy little gang.
“I’m not like those guys!” I shouted at Kyle. “I’m different!”
“Are you?” he asked. “Funny. You all look the same to me.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I got to my feet and ran. Out of the schoolyard and out of the school. I didn’t know where I was going. I just wanted to run. I kept running till I couldn’t run any longer.
When I stopped, I found myself on a wooded lane. I knew it at once. It was the same place we’d beaten up David Bloom a few days ago. The shortcut between the school and the Graveyard.
Why had I come here, I wondered?
And then it hit me. I had nowhere else to go. I wasn’t wanted at home. I wasn’t wanted at school. There was only one place where people like me belonged.
I hung my head and started walking down the lane.
Towards the Graveyard.
Chapter 7
The Graveyard
It was the middle of the afternoon when I reached the Graveyard. It was a dirty, rundown part of the city. A slum where nobody ever went. Nobody except Pales, anyway.
I walked with hunched shoulders and kept my head down. It was scary to be surrounded by so many Pales. I felt like they knew I wasn’t really one of them. Like they would see me and know I shouldn’t be there.
Everything was shabby. The windows had a layer of grime on them. Litter blew down the street. Pales wandered here and there, wearing cheap gear. Stuff from outlet places and Good Will. Some of them looked like bums.
It wasn’t like home. Mom and Dad lived in a nice street, lined with trees. We had a big house. The garbage truck came on time. You never saw a bum there, Pale or not.
I wanted to go back there so badly. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t face Dad. And I didn’t want to make Mom cry.
But now I was here, I had no idea what to do. I just walked around. I looked in the windows of empty shops. I kicked stones that had fallen off ruined buildings. I tried not to look anyone in the eye.
In the end I sat down in a shop doorway. The shop was closed, like all the shops here. No one had any money.
It was getting cold and dark. I was only wearing my school clothes. I began to shiver. I was hungry, too.
Until that moment, I didn’t think Pales felt hunger or cold. I just thought they were like zombies. The undead. But now I knew. Nothing was different after you died. Nothing except the way people treated you.
The whole thing made me angry. How could Sadie do this to me? She would have been dead if I hadn’t saved her. Instead it was me who died. It wasn’t fair!
I was the same Jed she loved before I was hit by that car. It was only the outside that had changed. But she couldn’t see that. She only saw a Pale.
Why didn’t she just leave me dead? It would have been better than this!
In a while night fell. I was getting really cold. I needed to move, to keep warm. I could smell food cooking somewhere, so I went to find it.
The Graveyard was all yellow light and black shadows under the street-lamps. In the middle of one road, I found a soup kitchen. Pales were lining up with bowls. Three women were giving them broth and dumplings. Normal women, not Pales. What were they doing in the Graveyard?
I got in line. I was too hungry to be afraid now. It freaked me out to have Pales standing so close to me. But I wanted that food.
I didn’t speak to anyone until I got to the front. One of the women looked down at me. “Where’s your bowl?” she asked.
“I don’t have one,” I said.
She gave me a kind smile. “You’re new, eh?” Then she found me a bowl, and filled it up. She put in an extra dumpling.
“That’ll keep you going,” she said, winking.
I mumbled a thank you and shu
ffled off. It was strange to see normal people being nice to Pales. I was used to people picking on them, the way I did.
I took my bowl and headed towards some tables by the side of the road. I planned to find a place to sit on my own. But then a group of Pales walked up to me. Three older boys, and one kid my age. A kid I knew.
“Remember me?” he said.
I did. It was David Bloom. The kid that me and Kyle beat up. I looked at his friends. All of them were bigger than me.
The tables had turned now. I was on his turf. This wasn’t going to go well.
“Listen, about what happened before,” I said. “I’m … sorry.”
“Now you are,” said David.
I knew what he meant. I wouldn’t have been sorry if I hadn’t died. I would have kept on beating up Pales.
I hung my head. “Well,” I said. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Get what over with?” David asked.
“You’ve come for payback, right?” I asked.
David shook his head. “No,” he said. “You’re one of us now. We need to look out for each other. No one else is going to.”
“I’m not one of you,” I said. I still couldn’t think of myself as a Pale.
“Everyone says that at first,” David told me. He put his hand on my arm. “Come on – sit down. Eat with us. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”
Chapter 8
Back to School
I stayed with David after that. He told his dad I was a friend from school. He never said anything about how I used to beat him up. His dad said I could stay for a while, if I wanted. I had to sleep on the floor, but it was better than nothing.
David looked after me for a whole week. He told me who people were. He showed me where to get warm clothes and meals for free. He let me hang out with him and his friends.
At first it was strange. I didn’t feel like I was one of them. But they didn’t mind me being there. At first I hardly said anything. After a while, I started joining in. Soon, it didn’t feel strange anymore.
All the time, I was thinking about Sadie. Sadie, Sadie, Sadie. I think I must have been in love with her all the time, like she said she was in love with me. Even though I didn’t know it. Otherwise it wouldn’t have hurt so much, what she did.
After that first week at David’s, his dad told me I’d better go back to school.
“Being a Pale doesn’t mean you have to give up, Jed,” he said. “You need to get an education. You might be around for a long time. In fact, you might be around forever. But one day, there’ll be more of us than them. Then they won’t be able to keep us in the slums. So you’d better get ready for that day, yeah? You’d better get smart.”
I didn’t want to, but I did what he said.
It was easier this time. I sat with the rest of the Pales at the back of the class. I kept quiet and stayed out of everyone’s way. Nobody took any notice of me. That was how I wanted it.
At lunch break, I hung out with the Pales.
The schoolyard felt dangerous. I knew there were kids who would beat me up, just for being a Pale. I used to be one of them. But when I was with David and his friends, I felt safe. I knew they wouldn’t let anything happen to me. No wonder Pales hung out in gangs all the time. Everyone was out to get them.
On the other side of the schoolyard I could see Sadie and Kyle and the twins. They were hanging out in the usual spot. Kyle had his arm round Sadie. The sight made me burn up. It hadn’t taken her long to get over me!
David saw where I was looking. “Forget her,” he said. “You can’t be her boyfriend now. Not unless she gets hit by a car, too.”
And then I had an idea. An evil, genius idea.
“Hey,” I said. “Don’t they keep some Lazarus Serum at school? In the medical room?”
“Yeah,” said David. “In case some kid at school dies. In case the ambulance can’t get here in time.”
“I know a way that me and Sadie can be together,” I said. “But I’ll need your help.”
“Does it mean that much to you?” David asked.
“Yes!” I said.
“Alright,” he said. “I’ll help you.” He looked at me. “What do you want me to do?”
“I need you to help me steal that serum.”
Chapter 9
Two Thieves
It got dark early at this time of year. We waited till the last bell, then we sneaked into a classroom and hid. We listened as everyone else left the school. Voices shouted down the hallways. Footsteps passed by. All the lights in the classrooms were turned out.
Then there was no sound at all. Only our breathing. The silence was a bit creepy. “I don’t like this,” said David. “We could get into a lot of trouble.”
“You’re dead,” I reminded him. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
We crept out of the classroom. The lights in the hallways were still on. I wondered if they left them on all night.
“This way,” I said.
The medical room was where you went if you needed to see the school nurse. I’d been there a couple of times before. Once I got sick from the burgers in the cafeteria. That was when I’d asked the nurse what was in the medicine cabinet. “Lazarus Serum,” she said. Just in case.
I could tell David was scared. So was I, but I didn’t show it. I wasn’t worried about getting expelled but I was worried about getting arrested. I’d be sent to a juvenile detention for sure. There was no such thing as a fair trial for a Pale. My dad told me that.
We reached the door. “Keep a lookout,” I told David. “There might still be someone around.”
David nodded, his face scared. I started to feel bad about asking him to come along. He was taking a big risk.
I wondered why he’d agreed. Maybe because it was the kind of thing a friend would do.
That stopped me in my tracks. I’d never really thought of him as a friend before.
“Hey,” I said to him. “Thanks.”
He looked surprised. “For what?”
I waved my hand around. “You know. Everything.”
David shrugged, but I could tell he was kind of pleased. “You’re welcome.”
Then I opened the door to the medical room and went in.
It was dark in there, but there was light from the hallway outside. The medicine cabinet was on the far wall. I sneaked over to it and pulled the handle. It was locked. But I had come prepared. I pulled a long
screwdriver out of my pocket. I’d stolen it from the design lab.
I stuck the screwdriver in between the cabinet doors. The lock wasn’t too strong. I could force it off. I leaned on the screwdriver and the metal doors of the cabinet began to bend.
Then I heard something. Faint footsteps, coming up the hall.
Someone was in the school. Someone was coming.
“It’s the janitor!” David whispered from the doorway. He looked scared.
I swore under my breath. Better make myself scarce until the janitor was gone. But when I tried to pull the screwdriver out, it wouldn’t come. It was stuck.
“Jed!” David said. “We have to go!”
“I can’t leave the screwdriver here!” I hissed. “The janitor will see it!” I pulled at it again.
“Come on!” said David. He was frantic now. I looked over my shoulder.
“Shut the door,” I said. “I’ll meet you outside.”
There was no time for him to argue. The footsteps were getting closer. The janitor was going to appear any minute. So David pulled the door to the medical room shut and ran away. I felt better once I knew he’d gone. I didn’t want to get him into trouble. This whole thing was my idea, after all.
But there was still the problem of the screwdriver. If the janitor looked into the room, he’d see it sticking out of the cabinet. I couldn’t pull it out. So there was only one thing to do. I put all my weight on it.
The lock broke with a loud crack, and the doors banged open.
The footsteps stoppe
d. I held my breath. “Is somebody there?” came a voice from the hallway.
Uh-oh.
The janitor had heard me. I looked around in a panic for somewhere to hide. There was nothing in the room but the cabinet, a little desk for the nurse, and a bed for sick kids. Could I hide under it? No. He’d see me from the door.
The footsteps started again. They were slow now. The janitor knew something was up. I could hear him open doors as he went.
“Hello?” he said. “Who is it? I know you’re there.”
I put the screwdriver in my pocket and opened the cabinet. There it was. The kind of needle they give you shots with. It was inside a plastic bag, which was marked “Lazarus Serum”. I grabbed it and closed the cabinet. Unless you looked carefully, you couldn’t see the broken lock. I just had to hope the janitor wouldn’t look carefully.
He was almost outside now. I needed a place to hide. There wasn’t one. So I did the best I could. I hid behind the door.
The janitor pushed the door open a second later. He peered into the dark room. I held my breath. The door was between me and him.
Light fell from the hallway onto the medicine cabinet. The cabinet door was slightly open. If he saw that, the game was up.
It seemed like ages that he stood there. He knew something was wrong. He’d heard something, but he didn’t know what. Any moment I expected him to notice the broken cabinet.
But he didn’t. He left the room and shut the door.
I breathed out in relief. I listened to his footsteps as they went away down the hallway. Then I took the needle of serum out of my pocket and looked at it. A smile spread across my face.
“This one’s for you, Sadie,” I said.
Chapter 10
Arrangements
I found David outside the school gate. We walked back to the Graveyard together, taking the back streets. Walking in the dark was risky for Pales. You always had to keep an eye out for normal kids. If they caught you, they’d beat you up. Just like I used to do.