David was really quiet.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“You don’t have to feel bad for running off,” I said. “I told you to, remember?”
“It’s not that,” he said. He kicked the ground with his toe. “What do you want the Lazarus Serum for?” he asked.
“I can’t tell you,” I said. “You’ll just have to trust me.”
“I’m not stupid,” he said. “You want it for Sadie, don’t you? You’re going to turn her into a Pale.”
I didn’t answer.
“It’s not right,” he said.
“I’ll tell you what’s not right!” I snapped at him. “She brought me back to life and then she dumped me! She left me like this! A Pale!”
“Being a Pale isn’t so bad,” said David. “Sure, it can be hard. But would you rather be dead?”
A week ago I would have said yes. Now I wasn’t so sure. I’d grown to like David and his friends. They were just like other kids. Except they were dead.
“Listen,” I said. “That girl loved me. And …” I swallowed. It wasn’t easy to admit. “I think I might have loved her, too. So we’re going to be together.” I held up the needle of serum. “I’m going to make her like us.”
David just looked sad.
“I won’t ask you to help anymore,” I said. “Just don’t try and stop me.”
David didn’t speak the rest of the way back. We parted at the border of the Graveyard. He went home. I wondered if he’d say anything to his dad about what I planned. But I didn’t think he would. He wasn’t the sort to tell on a friend.
In my pocket I found some coins I’d found by the side of the road. Then I went to find a telephone booth. I knew Sadie’s phone number by heart.
“Hello?” she said, as she picked up the phone. The sound of her voice almost made me cry.
“Hi, Sadie,” I said. “It’s me.”
I heard her give a little gasp. “Jed?” she asked.
“Right,” I said.
It was like she didn’t know what to say after that. “How are you?” she asked, in the end.
“Not so great, actually,” I told her. “I ran away from home. I’m staying in the Graveyard now. Sleeping on someone’s floor. What about you?”
She started to sob. I hated to hear her cry. “I’m sorry, Jed,” she said. “It’s just that … Well, when I saw you at school … With all those people around … You understand, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I understand.”
“When I hear your voice on the phone, I can almost imagine you’re alive again. The old Jed. Not a Pale.”
“I am the old Jed,” I said. “And I’m also a Pale.”
There was silence from her end of the phone. We both knew what she couldn’t say. Pales and normal kids couldn’t be together.
“We need to talk,” I said.
She sniffed. “OK.”
“I want to see you,” I said. “Face to face. You owe me that much.”
“Alright,” she said.
“There’s this deserted old apartment building I know,” I told her. “Nobody goes there. Nobody will see us together.”
“Tonight?” she asked.
“Tonight,” I said.
I told her how to get there and we agreed on a time. Then I put the phone down. I patted the needle of serum in my pocket.
“Tonight,” I said again.
Chapter 11
A Secret Meeting
The apartments stood on the edge of some waste ground. They were all boarded up and abandoned. It looked like no one had lived in them for years.
I crept towards them across the waste ground. Away from the street-lamps, it was very dark. I was nervous. If my heart could beat, it would have been hammering. I kept on thinking I could hear footsteps following me. But whenever I looked back, I didn’t see anything.
I was scared of seeing Sadie again. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to do what I had to.
It wasn’t murder. That’s what I told myself. If I gave her the serum, she’d die. That was true. But she wouldn’t be dead dead. She’d be like me. And I was alive. My heart didn’t beat, and I didn’t need to breathe, but I was alive.
So it couldn’t be murder.
But then I started to wonder. What was I really doing this for? Was it truly because I loved her? Or was it all to get her back for what she did? Because she had turned me into a Pale and then dumped me?
I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I could go through with it. I just wanted to talk to her again, face to face. Without Kyle or anyone else around.
The thought of Kyle made me angry. I remembered him with his arm round Sadie. That wasn’t what best friends were meant to do. I’d only been gone a few days and they were already together.
Maybe, if I talked to her, she’d see past the white skin and the strange eyes. Maybe she’d see that I was just me. Maybe she’d be my girlfriend again.
Fat chance.
I reached the building. The door had been boarded up, but the boards had been broken. It was me and Kyle who did that, back when we were friends. We’d gone out to explore together. It all seemed a long time ago now.
I went inside.
It was cold. Thick shadows gathered in the hallways. Water dripped from somewhere above me. There was crap lying all around.
I climbed the stairs and went into the apartment at the top. I knew I’d be able to get inside. Me and Kyle had broken the door down last time we were here.
I was right. The door was half off its hinges. I went in.
The apartment was probably shabby even before it was abandoned. Now it was foul. The carpet was mouldy. The wallpaper was peeling. Everything stank of rot.
Not the best place to meet a girl. But at least there’d be nobody around. No one to see what I was going to do.
I took the Lazarus needle out of my pocket. Faint light from outside shone on the serum. Could I really do it to her? Could I make her a Pale like me? If I did, then she would have to be mine and not Kyle’s.
If I didn’t, then I had to give her up forever.
I heard a voice. “Jed? Are you here?” It was her. She was downstairs. I put the needle back in my pocket as fast as I could.
“I’m up here,” I called.
“Where?” she asked. I could hear she was coming up the stairs.
“The apartment at the top.”
I could hear movement down below. I stood there and waited. After a short while, she appeared in the door of the apartment.
She looked amazing. Even though she was all bundled up in a coat. We stared at each other. Her eyes were so sad.
I knew, right at that moment, that I could never hurt her. I couldn’t turn her into a Pale. She’d saved me, after all. I would have died if it wasn’t for her. It hurt that she’d turned her back on me, but I understood. She just couldn’t face being with a Pale.
Maybe I would have done the same, if it had been her that died.
“Sadie,” I said. “It’s good to see you again.” But she didn’t seem happy to see me. Tears were running down her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
And then she stepped aside to let Kyle step through the doorway. Kyle and the twins. They were carrying baseball bats. And they were staring right at me.
Chapter 12
Ambush
“What’s this?” said Kyle. “Seems we’ve got a Pale here. Should have stayed in the Graveyard, Pale.”
I backed away from them. Kyle stepped into the apartment. The twins were behind him. Sadie was trying to see past them, scared.
“Sadie!” I called to her. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I just told him. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know he’d get so mad. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt!”
“Shut your mouth!” Kyle snapped at her. “It’s a bit late for that. You’ve done your bit. If you don’t want to stick aroun
d, get lost.”
Sadie backed away at the tone of his voice. She gave me one last look, and turned and ran down the stairs.
I should have known she’d tell Kyle I called. She never could keep a secret.
Kyle was carrying a big plastic bottle in one hand. He put it down by the door. I heard it slosh with liquid. But I didn’t have time to wonder what was inside. Kyle and the twins were coming towards me.
“We’re not too fond of Pales trying to steal our girls,” said Kyle.
His face was twisted in hate. I’d never had anyone look at me like that before. He looked like he wanted to kill me.
“I just wanted to talk to her,” I said. “She was my girlfriend for years. I just wanted to – ”
Kyle swung his bat and smashed a rotten chair to bits. The noise made me jump.
“Stop talking,” he said. His voice was low and quiet. “Every word you say makes it worse. That’s Jed’s voice you’re using. That’s Jed’s body you’re wearing. He was my friend. But you! You’re a Pale. A goddamned back-from-the-dead Pale. A walking corpse!”
Kyle shook his head. “You should have stayed dead,” he said. “I’m gonna make you wish you had.”
Then he ran at me and swung his bat.
“Kyle! Don’t!” I shouted. I put my arm up to defend myself. The bat hit me on the hand with a horrible crack. Pain exploded through me like white fire. I tripped on the ragged carpet and fell backwards. I had barely hit the floor before Kyle kicked me in the ribs.
Then the twins joined in. I tried to cover my head, but the blows came from everywhere. Someone’s boot caught me on the cheek. Stars of pain burst in my head. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t escape. Couldn’t do anything but lie curled in a ball.
They kept on pounding me with bats and boots. In the end I lost track of time. One second seemed like forever. The pain kept coming. They hit me again and again. When were they going to stop? Were they going to stop?
Then they did stop. And that was worse. While they had been hitting me, the pain had been bad. But now they had stopped, I started to feel it ten times more. There were bruises all over my body. It felt like I’d broken some ribs, but it hurt too much to tell for sure. I coughed, and tasted blood on my swollen lips. One of my eyes was starting to swell, so the eyelid was half shut.
Kyle stood over me, panting. His teeth were gritted and he had an ugly expression on his face. He looked down at me. We’d been friends all our lives, but now he didn’t know me at all.
“I’ll show you what we do to Pales around here,” he said.
He put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Kyle didn’t even smoke, normally. Then he went and picked up the plastic bottle full of liquid. He pulled off the cap, and the apartment filled with the smell of it.
It was gasoline.
Horror clutched at my stomach.
He was going to set fire to me.
I started to struggle, trying to get away. But the twins held me down. Kyle came closer. The tip of the cigarette glowed.
“You’re gonna burn, Pale,” he said.
“No!” I screamed. But I couldn’t stop him. The twins had my arms and legs pinned down. “You sure about this?” one of them asked Kyle. “I think he’s learned his lesson.”
“We keep beating them up, and they keep coming back!” Kyle snarled. “Someone needs to do something. Now hold him still!”
The twins didn’t like it, but they did what he said. Everyone always did what Kyle said. Even me, before I died.
He stood over me. He tipped up the bottle to pour the gasoline on me.
Then there was a shout, and the sound of running footsteps. Five kids came rushing into the room. Pale kids. And leading them was David.
David threw himself at Kyle, even though Kyle was much bigger than him. Kyle was taken by surprise. He tripped against me and fell over. The bottle flew out of his hand. Oil glugged out of it and spread across the carpet.
The twins tried to defend themselves, but the Pales were all over them, kicking and punching. I felt David’s hands on me, pulling me to my feet. Kids were fighting all around me.
I saw Kyle’s cigarette, where it had fallen from his mouth. I saw the gasoline spread towards it.
“Watch it!” I cried, but too late. The gasoline reached the lit cigarette. And the bottle exploded.
I was thrown back to the ground. When I got up, there was fire everywhere. Kyle was screaming and beating at himself. The arm of his coat was on fire. Everyone was in a panic. They’d forgotten about fighting each other. Half the room had gone up in flames!
Kyle ran screaming out of the apartment. He was still trying to put out the fire on his arm. The twins looked at one another and then ran after him.
I could feel the terrible heat from the flames. I wondered what it would have felt like, if it had been me that was on fire.
“Come on!” said David. “Don’t just stand there staring!”
“You followed me,” I said. “You all followed me here.”
“Well,” David grinned. “We had to make sure you were OK, didn’t we?”
I suddenly wanted to throw my arms around him. So I did.
“Hey! Easy now!” he said.
But I couldn’t help it. Because I knew now that he was my friend. And so were all the others, the Pales who’d risked their lives to help me. They weren’t like Kyle and the twins, or even Sadie. They were the real thing. The kind who’d stick with you, no matter what.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said. “We’re done.”
Chapter 13
The Last Goodbye
But I wasn’t done. Not yet.
We ran outside and got far enough away to be safe from the fire. Then we hid in the waste ground and watched that place burn. My whole body hurt, but I still felt good. It could have been much, much worse. If it wasn’t for my friends.
The flames had spread so fast. Already the roof of the building was on fire, and I could see smoke coming from the top floor windows. There was no sign of Kyle or the twins.
“So I suppose Sadie never showed up?” David asked.
“She showed up,” I said. “She was the one who led them here.”
David frowned. “Where did she go, then?” “She ran off,” I said.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Because we were right behind you. And we didn’t see anyone come out.”
I stared at the burning building. Fear nearly made my heart stop. “You think she’s still in there?” I asked.
David shrugged. “Maybe.”
Suddenly I found I was running. Back towards the building.
“Stop!” David shouted after me. “It’s too dangerous!”
But it didn’t matter. Whatever Sadie had done to me, I couldn’t leave her in there.
I pushed my way into the burning building. I was holding my side with one hand to keep my cracked ribs from stopping me. My whole body was a mass of pain. I could only see out of one eye. Smoke and poisonous fumes filled the hallways.
I should have started coughing. I should have got dizzy from the fumes. But I was a Pale. I didn’t need to breathe.
I went up the stairs. The apartment where the fire had started was at the top. I knew Sadie wasn’t there. So I checked the apartment on the floor below. The door was closed, but not locked. I tried to open it. It was jammed.
I kicked it in.
Sadie was in there. It was hard to see her with all the smoke. She was lying on the floor, face down.
In an instant, I knew what had happened. She hadn’t wanted to see me get beaten up, so she had hid in here and pulled the door shut. But it was an old door, and it had got jammed. The smoke from the fire had made her pass out.
I picked her up and carried her down the stairs and outside. David and the others had just got to the building. They helped me take her down the road, away from the building. We laid her down on the sidewalk.
Her eyes were shut. She’d breathed in too much smoke. I looked at her as she lay there. It was we
ird, but I didn’t feel anything. Not love, not hate. Nothing.
The road was deserted, but we could hear sirens in the distance.
“Well?” said David. “If you want to go through with your plan, now’s your chance.”
I took the Lazarus needle out of my pocket. He was right. I could turn Sadie into a Pale right here and now. Nobody would know that she hadn’t really died. Even she wouldn’t know. She’d wake up as a Pale, and I’d have saved her. Then she’d have to be my girlfriend again.
Except that I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want her. I didn’t want anything to do with my old life anymore.
“She doesn’t deserve to be one of us,” I said. And I put the needle down next to her on the ground. The paramedics could use it on someone who needed it.
David smiled and slapped me on the arm. The other Pales grinned and patted me on the back.
“Let’s get going before the police and ambulance get here,” David said. “She’ll be OK. But if they see a bunch of Pales near a burning building …”
I got to my feet and gave Sadie one last look.
“See you sometime,” I said to her. “Or maybe not.”
And with that, we ran. Across the waste ground, back to the Graveyard. Behind us, the sirens got louder and louder and louder.
Chris Wooding, Pale
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