“Please tell,” Winston said, an amused grin on his face.
“I want to stay.”
Winston sat abruptly upright. “What do you mean, stay?”
“I don’t mean forever,” she said, holding up a hand. “I just mean until graduation. I admit the thought of going back to my school with all those teachers is less than appealing, but that isn’t the reason.” She looked Winston in the eyes, wanting him to see her sincerity. “I want to stay here with Alex. He and I can be in a graduating class of two.”
Winston folded his hands on the desk and looked down at them. Finally he brought his eyes up to hers. “Done.”
Calli let out a breath. That was easy. She’d thought that would be the hard part. “Just one more thing.”
“Of course,” he snorted.
“I don’t want the money.”
“What?”
“I don’t want the money you said you’d pay me. It doesn’t seem right anymore. Back then, all I could think was that I should get something for spending time with the monster. But now . . .”
“Calli, I promised you six thousand dollars for staying here and befriending Alex. I think you’ve gone above and beyond what I asked.”
“But—”
“No, Callie. There will be no further discussion on this. I promised six thousand. That’s what I’ll deliver.”
Calli opened her mouth to argue, but wasn’t able to get a word out before the door slammed violently open. She spun around to see Alex standing in the door, a mixture of rage, pain, and hatred marring his face.
* * * * *
Alex heard their voices and intended to enter the den until Calli’s words stopped him cold.
“. . . I should get something for spending time with the monster.”
And then his father’s shocking response: “Calli, I promised you six thousand dollars for staying here and befriending Alex. I think you’ve gone above and beyond what I asked.”
“But—”
Alex was stunned. His father had paid her to be his friend, and now she asked for more? Did she think she deserved more for pretending she liked him . . . maybe even loved him?
“No, Callie. There will be no further discussion on this. I promised six thousand. That’s what I’ll deliver.”
Fury prompted him. He shoved the door open with all his strength. Calli jumped and turned guiltily. His father also looked like a condemned man.
“You paid her?” His words came out in a burst of wrath.
“Alex, it’s not—”
“Not what, father?” Alex yelled. “Not exactly what I just heard? Answer me! Did you pay her?”
“Yes, but—”
Alex’s gaze swung heatedly to Calli, who quickly looked down, but not before he saw the tears shining in her eyes.
“Well, you did your job really well, didn’t you? So well, you even had me convinced.”
Her eyes came to his, and she held out a hand imploringly. “Alex . . .”
He turned and fled the room. Anger and pain colored his vision red. There was only one place he wanted to be.
* * * * *
Calli slowly made her way up the darkened stairway. The dark didn’t really matter. Her vision would have been blurred by her tears anyway. She could only imagine how her and Winston’s conversation must have sounded to Alex.
It had taken her some time to convince Winston to let her go after Alex. She knew where he would go. She knew Winston would never find him.
She finally reached the top of the stairs, aware only because she bumped into the door. She twisted the handle, grateful to find it unlocked. She stepped into the dim light. She walked quickly down the hallway and, nerves twisting her stomach, unlocked and opened the door to the balcony.
He wasn’t there. Defeated, Calli stepped out and walked the small perimeter, as if he could be hiding. She looked out over the town. Most of the snow was melted, but the cold air was bitter and burned her lungs. She inhaled a deep breath, welcoming the pain, then went back in.
She headed to the stairs, but stopped suddenly when she heard a cracking sound come from one of the rooms. In all the times she and Alex had come up here, they had never gone into any of the rooms. Not that she wasn’t curious about them, but Alex always told her they were just storage for old junk, and hurried her past them.
She stopped at the door that seemed like the origination of the noise and placed her ear against the door, listening. She heard a sound like a sob, then a loud crash. She threw the door open.
Mirrors, some whole, some broken were on every surface of the room it seemed. She was reflected a thousand times over. And Alex—Alex was reflected along with her. She stepped inside, momentarily confused by the many replicas of them before she spotted him. He stared at her, stunned she had found him. His shock quickly melted into a look of accusation and anger. She went to him.
“Alex, I—”
“Get out,” he roared.
“No.”
Her abrupt refusal only seemed to infuriate him. He picked up a rather large, gilt framed mirror and hurled it across the room. It shattered with a deafening sound, taking a couple other mirrors with it.
“Get out!”
“No!” she yelled back.
He turned away from her and sent a fist crashing through yet another mirror.
“Stop it, Alex!”
“What do you care?” he growled, turning back and putting his face right in front of hers, so close their noses nearly touched. “Afraid he’ll withhold some of your money?”
Calli shoved against his chest. Unprepared, he stumbled back a few steps before catching himself. His fists clenched at his side and he hunched his shoulders forward in threat. She crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to back down, tightening her mouth and narrowing her eyes.
Defeated, Alex slumped to the floor. “Please,” he said, head hanging, “leave me alone.”
Calli unfolded her arms at the agony in his voice. She didn’t step closer, but sat on the floor, facing him. They sat that way, silently, for long minutes. Finally he lifted his head and looked at her. Calli’s heart contracted at the utter hopelessness she saw in his eyes.
“Tell me,” he said. “Tell me everything. The truth.”
“Okay,” Calli said, releasing her breath. She told him everything, their deal they’d made, what he’d done for her dad. “I went to your dad tonight to—”
“I know what you went for,” Alex interrupted.
“No, Alex, you don’t. You want the whole truth, so let me give it to you. I went to him to ask him to let me stay. Just until the end of the school year. I asked him to let me stay with you. And I told him I didn’t want his money.”
Alex refused to meet her gaze, but she could see in the tightness of his jaw that he didn’t believe her. She scooted forward until she was in front of him, hoping she didn’t get cut on any of the shards of glass that littered the floor around them. He stiffened as she neared, but stayed in place.
“Alex,” she said, reaching a hand toward him. He moved ever so slightly away as she did, so she didn’t touch him as she wanted to. “You need to know something. When I first came here, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I felt like I had no choice. We had no money, I couldn’t afford whatever the fine would be for trespassing. I was stuck.”
Alex twitched at her word stuck.
“Then I came, and met you, and found out you’re not the monster at all.” Alex pulled his knees up, wrapping his massive arms around them. “You became my friend in truth, Alex. And then, you became so much more.”
“Please. Don’t.” The words were low, angry, torn from his throat. Calli knew she couldn’t back down, not now. This was her only chance to not lose him.
“Can I . . . can I show you something?” she asked. He didn’t answer, so she decided to take that as a yes. She looked around until she found a piece of mirror that was about the size of her face. When she picked it up, he finally met her gaze. “You see yourself as a
monster, Alex. I don’t. I want to show you how I see you.” Slowly, carefully she brought the piece of mirror up and laid it long ways against face, right at the vertical center. She tipped the back of the mirror just a little toward the injured side of his face. Alex couldn’t avoid his reflection since it was everywhere. With the mirror like this, his face reflected whole, undamaged. For that moment, Calli hoped he could see himself as she did. She moved the mirror away, setting it down and bringing both hands up to cup his face.
“Alex, you’re beautiful to me. Your heart, your soul, your mind. I mean, what seven year old rushes into a burning house to try to save his mom and sister? And then takes on the guilt of being unable to accomplish the impossible? Only one who cares for others more than himself. I can see that you’re in pain a lot of the time, but you try to hide it because you don’t want anyone worrying about you. You’re kind and funny and smart, and there isn’t anything I’ve asked of you that you haven’t been willing to do—the Christmas party excluded,” she smiled. “You forgave me for coming to stare at you, and when you realized your father didn’t blame you for your mom and sister, you forgave him for all those years of hurt.” She blew out a breath. “I’ve never met anyone as beautiful as you. And yeah, I know guys don’t like to be called beautiful, but there it is.”
Alex stared into her eyes, pain and confusion warring.
“Alex, you made me fall in love with you.”
As if her words were the catalyst he’d been waiting for, he reached up and gently pulled her hands from his face. He folded them between his for a few seconds, looking at their hands, his speckled with blood.
“You have to go now,” he said.
“What?” Calli was stunned.
“I want you to leave. I want you to go home.”
Unthinkingly, she said, “This is my home.”
“No,” he refuted firmly. “This isn’t your home. Your time is up. You need to go now.”
Calli just stared at him in disbelief as crushing pain collapsed her heart. He let go of her hands and stood, moving past her and leaving the room. Calli didn’t know how long she sat there, numb, before she finally moved.
He was gone.
And so, she left.
* * * * *
Alex hadn’t worked out since Calli had gone, and he was feeling it. His body was stiff and painful. He figured he deserved it.
“Alex.” His father’s voice from his doorway was loud and clear, but Alex ignored him anyway. He entered. “Listen, Alex, you have every right to be angry at me for doing what I did. I did it because I love you and was trying to help. Still, I know it was the wrong way to go about it.”
Alex turned to his father. “Did she bribe you? Is that why you paid her?”
His father’s dropped jaw answered him. “It was the other way around. I bribed her.”
So, Alex thought, she’d told the truth.
“Son, I’ve spent the last ten years living with regret. I’d give almost anything if I could go back and change things. I’d give absolutely anything if I could have just one more moment with your mom.”
Alex remained silent.
“Now, you can sit here and wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life if that’s what you want. Or you can be a man, get over yourself, and get your butt into town and beg her to take you back. Every minute you sit here is another minute wasted that could be spent with Calli.”
Without another word he left the room. Alex looked at the space he’d occupied. That wasn’t exactly the pep talk he’d expected to get when his dad decided to do it, as he’d known he would.
Alex smiled.
* * * * *
It was three days until graduation. Calli had looked forward to graduation for so long as her chance to escape. Now she felt disconnected from it. She’d hoped her graduation would be in a much smaller class than the one she’d be walking with on Friday.
She looked down at the envelope in her hand, tapping it on the tabletop where she sat. She wasn’t really worried that it was a rejection of admission from the University. She was reasonably secure in her acceptance. But opening it meant another change in her life. And right now, she just wasn’t sure another change was something she wanted to deal with.
The maid that Winston had hired for her father was a permanent fixture in their home each day. Calli tried to insist she go, but Winston had first guilted Calli into keeping her because she’d be out of work if he let her go. And then he’d informed her that the maid, Marla, wanted to stay for personal reasons. It had only taken one time of seeing her father with Marla to understand what those personal reasons were.
Winston’s intern had kept their books very well. Calli was doing it herself now. The balance in the checkbook was far too high. There was more than the expected surplus of six thousand dollars. But because it had been done by the intern, Calli couldn’t track where the money came from, in spite of the fact that she knew exactly where it came from. There was more than enough to pay for her college.
She opened the envelope and read the expected acceptance. She texted Brittany—the cell phone another new, unexplained thing that had shown up—and told her the news. Brittany and Brandon had also been accepted. They’d both been awarded very generous, anonymous scholarships. Calli didn’t think they were all that anonymous. Eli, who wasn’t speaking to Calli anymore, decided that college wasn’t for him, and he’d be working with his dad at the auto body repair shop.
Her doorbell rang, and Calli stood. It was likely Brittany. She almost wanted to ignore her, but since she’d just texted her about the letter, she couldn’t exactly pretend to not be home. She opened the door—and froze.
Alex stood on her porch, wearing a long overcoat. It was far too hot for such a garment, but she guessed he didn’t want anyone to see him as he drove into town. She gazed up at him, drinking in the sight of him. She’d missed him so much it was painful. But he’d made his rejection of her clear. And now, here he was.
“Hey,” he said, shuffling awkwardly.
“Hey,” she said. She tore her gaze from him and glanced behind him, seeing the car she’d taught him to drive in parked in her driveway. It looked clearly out of place in this neighborhood. “You drove?”
“Yup,” he said. He held out a small plastic card. “I’m official now.”
Calli looked down at it, surprised. He’d told her he wouldn’t get a license because he didn’t want a photo of himself. But there he was, looking up at her from the small plastic rectangle.
“Can I . . . come in?” he asked hesitantly.
“Oh. Yes, of course,” she said, standing back to admit him. He stepped in and looked around. Calli followed his gaze with hers, trying to see her home through his eyes. It was clearly poor and shabby, but at least it was clean.
“Are we alone?” he asked.
“Yeah. Dad’s at work, and Marla doesn’t come until he’s here.”
“I heard about that,” he said with a smile. “Does it bother you?”
“My dad and Marla?” She cocked her head. “No, it really doesn’t. My mom died giving birth to me, so I didn’t know her. All I have are photos. She was really beautiful.”
“Like mother, like daughter, huh?”
Calli wasn’t sure what he meant. Was he trying to tell her something?
“Can I show you something?” he asked. “Something I should have showed you a long time ago?”
“Okay,” she said, curious.
He unbuttoned his coat. She stepped forward to take it, but he shook his head at her. Confused, she stepped back. He took a breath, swallowed loudly, closed his eyes and slowly began to remove his coat. Calli didn’t understand—until she saw that beneath it he only wore bike shorts. He shrugged the coat off his broad shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
Calli sucked a breath in. She’d known he had pretty good muscles from their workouts, but had only seen them through a wet t-shirt when they swam or sat in the hot tub. He’d managed to bulk up pretty well, she tho
ught.
A scar patch covered his right shoulder and ran halfway down his arm. She stepped closer and placed her hand on it, running her fingers lightly down his arm to the end of the scar. He opened his eyes and looked at her.
Thin ropes that looked like rivers of scar ran down the front of his chest in three places. Another large blotch covered his ribs and hip on the right, disappearing beneath his waistband. Two thick scars on his thigh merged into the one she’d seen before on his lower leg. She walked around behind his back and placed her hand over the largest of the scars that marred his back.
She tried to imagine the pain of a little, seven-ear-old boy covered with such serious burns, lying in a hospital bed with the weight of the deaths of his mom and sister sitting on his chest, aching for a father who didn’t come.
Still behind him, she slid her arms around his ribs, laying her cheek against his wounded back, splaying her fingers across his ribs. He stilled beneath her touch, and then ran his hands across her arms, threading his fingers through hers.
“Do you still think I’m beautiful?” he asked.
Calli released him and moved to stand in front of him. “Even more than I did before,” she said.
Alex touched her waist and she slid her hands up his arms.
“It doesn’t . . . disgust you?” he asked.
“Not in the least. I mean that, Alex. I love you, and that includes everything about you.” She smiled at him. “Even that horrible temper.”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry about that—again. I swear, Calli, if you’ll give me another chance, I’ll be more careful with you.”