She kissed him on the lips, a quick kiss, a kiss of gratitude, before burying herself against him again. “Thank you, Alex. You won’t regret this. I promise.”
* * * * *
Alex straightened his collar for the tenth time. He buttoned his shirt to the top, then unbuttoned the top two buttons. Then buttoned them again. For the first time, he wished for a mirror. They hadn’t had mirrors in the house since he smashed them about a year after they’d moved in. Some kids had come from town to stare at him from outside their yard, to laugh at him and hurl insults. He’d let the beast have his way and together they’d smashed many of the mirrors.
His father had moved them all. He thought they were where Alex couldn’t find them. He didn’t know that Alex knew exactly where they were, and in fact he used the room of mirrors, as he referred to it, when he felt especially self-tortuous. In the room, with mirrors leaned against every wall, he couldn’t escape his image.
Now, he had no way to see how he looked. Was it better buttoned up, or slightly unbuttoned. Should he roll his sleeves up a little, or keep them firmly around his wrists? He wondered how his hair looked. He’d combed it, knew it was curly, but had no idea if he had any pieces sticking up, or if he looked like a dork.
He definitely regretted telling Calli he would do this. He wouldn’t back out, no matter how desperately he wanted to. He’d given her his word, and he would keep it. He just wished he had a mirror.
A knock sounded on his door. His father opened it and stuck his head in. “Can I come in?” he asked.
“Sure.” Alex stopped fidgeting and turned to face his father. They were working on their relationship, trying to get past all the years of silence and erected walls, but it was going to take time.
“You look great,” his father said, and Alex began fidgeting again, buttoning and unbuttoning his shirt.
“Do I?” he asked unsurely. “Is my hair okay?”
His dad stepped forward and placed his hands over Alex’s. “Your hair looks great. Keep the buttons undone.” He paused, and then said, “They’re going to stare at first, Alex.”
Alex’s hands dropped to his sides and his shoulders slumped. “I know.”
“But if you’re open with them, as you are with Calli, they’re going to see what a great kid you are. Then they aren’t going to stare anymore.”
“Well, I can hope anyway,” Alex said, though his voice carried no hope.
“You don’t have to do this, son.”
Alex squared his shoulders. “Yes. I do.”
His father looked at him intently for long moments. He squeezed Alex shoulder. “Okay. I’ll be in my office if you need anything.”
“Okay, thanks . . . dad.”
Winston smiled at him and left the room. Alex heard him exchange greetings with Calli in the hall and felt a tightening of excitement at the sound of her voice. He knew her kiss that night meant nothing to her, that for her it was nothing more than a friend kissing a friend. But to Alex, it had sent him reeling. No one had kissed him since he was a little boy. And then it was only his mom. Calli’s brief kiss had sent feelings shooting through him he’d never experienced before.
“Well, look who’s a hottie,” she said from his doorway. His eyes scanned her from head to toe, taking in her flowered skirt that stopped just above her knees, and her plain white t-shirt that looked anything but plain on her.
“I am looking,” he said.
“Ha-ha,” she mocked, moving into the room. “Are we now reduced to cheesy lines, Alex?”
“Sure, whatever works,” he said.
She walked over to him. “Seriously, Alex, you look great. I haven’t ever seen you in anything except sweatshirts or t-shirts.” She ran her hands down his arms, smoothing his sleeves. “I like this.”
He reached up nervously and fingered the buttons. “I didn’t know if I should leave it like this, or . . .”
“Definitely leave it,” she said.
“I don’t have a mirror.”
“I noticed. Trust me. You don’t need one.”
“You don’t have to be so nice, Calli. I told you I’d come.”
She bumped him with her shoulder, realizing that he was the only person she did that to. It had begun as a safe way to touch him, and now it was . . . her and Alex’s thing, she supposed. “I’m not being nice. I’m being honest.”
He cleared his throat. “Well, you look amazing. But then, you always do.”
“You don’t have to flatter me, Alex. I told you I’d come.”
He narrowed his eyes at her sarcasm. “Since we’re now passing out cheesy lines, I may as well say that as long as you’re next to me, no one will even notice me. They’ll all be looking at you.”
Worry clouded her expression. “Alex, if you’re uncomfortable—”
“Of course I’m uncomfortable,” he told her honestly. “But that isn’t ever going to change unless I do something about it, right?”
She still looked unsure, so he gave her the most confident smile he could muster. He stepped forward and held a hand out to her. “Shall we?”
She placed her hand in his. She looked as nervous as he felt. Together, they walked up the stairs.
* * * * *
Alex stood nervously by the food table. Calli wished she had the words to make this better. She was regretting the idea of the party. She was tied up in knots, worried about everyone’s reaction to Alex. She didn’t want him hurt.
She’d called everyone individually, explained how he looked and why. She told them what a great guy he was, and how much she liked him. They all sounded sympathetic to his injuries, and promised not to gawk, but she didn’t know what they’d do.
The doorbell rang and she watched Alex stiffen. She wanted to go to him, be by his side. But she thought it would be better to greet them first and then introduce Alex.
Brittany, Brandon, and Jennae were the first to arrive, just as she’d asked them to be. Eli wouldn’t be able to come until later. She hurried over to the door, squealing along with Brittany and Jennae as they hugged one another excitedly. She hugged Brandon as well, then turned to Alex.
“Alex, this is Brittany, Jennae, and Brandon. Guys, this is Alex.”
Alex slowly lifted his head toward them. Calli clearly heard Brittany and Jennae’s intakes of breath. All three stood transfixed. Alex’s jaw ticked once, but he lifted a hand in greeting. Brandon stepped forward, hand extended.
“Nice to meet you, man.” Alex hesitated. Brandon turned to look back at the girls then grinned conspiratorially at Alex. “Sorry, dude, I’m not going to scream and hug you like they do.”
Alex laughed and took Brandon’s hand, giving it a single pump. Brittany and Jennae laughed and came forward, also shaking his hand. Then they began immediately filling Calli in on all the gossip she’d missed, pausing only long enough to explain to Alex who the people were they were talking about. Calli moved to stand next to Alex, slipping her hand into his. The gesture did not go unnoticed by the other three, but Calli didn’t care. As soon as she’d taken Alex’s hand, he’d grasped her hand tightly as if for support. She didn’t plan to let go.
An hour later the room was filled with kids. By the time they’d begun to arrive, Brandon, Jennae, and Brittany were comfortably talking and laughing with Alex. It didn’t stop the others from staring, of course, but it made him seem less strange to them. Calli knew that most of them had come out of curiosity, both of Alex and of being in the Monster House. She didn’t care why they came, she was just grateful they had. The music was blasting. Kids danced, laughed, talked, and ate Javier’s amazing food. And though Alex stayed close to the wall, he seemed relaxed.
He’d warned her beforehand that he didn’t dance, so she didn’t ask. She was aware that he didn’t want to give them something more to gawk at. She danced a couple of times with others when asked, but mostly she stayed near Alex, not because of obligation but because she wanted to. She enjoyed his company more than anyone else here. With Alex, she
knew he liked her for who she was, not for her looks or for any other shallow reasons. He knew her better than anyone—even Brittany or Jennae.
She was surprised when a slow song began and Alex tugged her out onto the dance floor, pulling her into his arms and moving to the music.
“I thought you didn’t dance,” she said.
“Technically, this isn’t dancing,” he said. “It’s just hugging and moving vaguely in time with the music.”
She laughed. “Is that called justification?”
He shrugged. “Honestly, I couldn’t stand watching you dance with all those other guys and not having the chance to do the same.”
“Jealous, Alex?” she teased. He just shrugged and her smile fell. He was jealous. What did that mean?
“Alex, I—”
“Let’s just dance, okay?” he said, pulling her closer.
Calli was stunned. She spent so much time with Alex, had become so used to the way they were together that she hadn’t thought . . . didn’t ever think . . . and then she realized she had. She had thought of him that way. Each time she looked at him, every time she held his hand or he put an arm around her. She thought about the warmth that suffused her each time she was near him, and how much happier she was when she was with him.
“Five minutes to midnight,” someone yelled. Alex released her as the music stopped and the TV was turned on to the channel showing the Times Square Ball being prepared to drop. Brittany began passing out the hats and blowers that sat on a table. Calli was aware of all of this going on, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Alex as the realization had taken hold.
She loved Alex.
* * * * *
Alex was aware of Calli’s scrutiny. He shouldn’t have said anything. He felt foolish. She was his friend. He didn’t want to lose that, didn’t want things to become awkward between them because he’d given her a hint that what he felt for her was more than just that.
He took a hat and blower, and handed one to Calli. She took it absently, watching him.
“Two minutes,” someone called. Everyone gathered around the big screen TV. Alex stepped to the side, not wanting to be in the middle of the celebrating. Calli tugged on his hand and he looked at her. She waggled a finger at him, walking toward the door and pulling him with her.
She stepped out onto a deck overlooking the town. From here, they could hear the excited noises from inside, but couldn’t see anything—or be seen.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothing’s the matter,” she said. She laughed nervously. “I just wanted to say . . . I mean, I wanted to ask you. . . Um, you know the tradition about a New Year’s Eve kiss? Supposedly you’re supposed to kiss the one you love at midnight to ensure a year of happiness together.”
Alex wasn’t sure what she was getting at. “Yes, I know the theory. It’s just an old wives tale, Calli. It doesn’t really mean—”
“Alex!” She interrupted him sharply, rolling her eyes. “You’re kind of taking the romance out of this.”
“Romance?” he questioned. He knew he sounded thick-headed but he didn’t know what she—suddenly, a thought occurred to him. Maybe she was telling him there was someone she wanted to kiss at midnight. Maybe she felt she ought to warn him since she lived at his house. Or because of his stupid words earlier.
Eli had showed up, and Alex wasn’t so blind he couldn’t see how much Eli liked Calli, or how angry he looked as Calli stayed next to Alex, holding his hand most of the time. “Calli, if there’s someone you want to kiss, you don’t need my permission,” he forced himself to say. The thought of watching her kiss someone made him physically ill. She didn’t need his permission, but he also wasn’t about to watch.
“I don’t?” she asked.
“Of course not,” he said, more roughly than he’d intended. “I think I’ll go downstairs now. I’m tired.”
He turned away and she put a hand on his arm, stopping him. He could hear the others inside begin the ten-second countdown.
“Alex,” she said.
“Ten. Nine. Eight.” Their voices were in tandem, excited. If Calli wanted to kiss someone, she’d need to hurry.
“It’s going to be really hard to kiss you if you go downstairs.”
“Six. Five.”
Alex swallowed. “You want to kiss me?”
Calli grinned. “Yeah, I do. Is that . . . is that okay?”
“Three. Two.”
Alex stepped over to her, placing one arm around her waist.
“One!” Everyone screamed, cheering loudly and blowing their whistles.
Alex hesitated, giving her the chance to change her mind. Instead, she turned her face up to him. He pulled her close, his mouth touching hers, gently, still giving her the chance to pull away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tilting her head slightly in invitation. Alex didn’t need to be asked twice.
He wrapped his other arm around her waist, deepening the kiss as he pulled her even closer. He thought even if they became one person, it still wouldn’t be close enough. She opened her mouth beneath his and the world shifted. He lifted her, melding their bodies as tightly as their mouths. This kiss was no friendly kiss, nothing of gratitude in it.
It was raw vulnerability, a lifetime of loneliness being shattered, Alex fusing himself to someone in a way he’d never imagined possible. She met his passion and feeling with her own.
He pulled back, wanting to see her expression, to know if he’d imagined her feeling. He hadn’t. It was there in her eyes. He slowly lowered her feet back to the ground.
“Well, Alex, um, wow,” she breathed, smiling up at him. “If I’d known you had that in you, I wouldn’t have waited so long.”
Alex laughed and kissed her again.
* * * * *
“I can’t believe you’ve never driven a car before.”
Alex shrugged at Calli’s statement. “Where was I going to go?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “For a drive? I thought every fifteen year old couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel. That was three years ago for you.”
He only shrugged again.
“Alright, fine. First thing you do is put the key in the ignition.”
Alex rolled his eyes at her and she laughed.
“Okay, enough being a smart aleck—or I should say, a smart Alex.”
“Seriously?” he said, though he grinned. “That’s the best you can come up with? Lame, Clayson, lame.”
Calli laughed again. “Alright. I’m going to be serious now.”
“I doubt it.”
She ignored him. “Put your foot on the break before you put it in gear. Though in a car like this,” she mused, running a hand over the soft leather seat, “you probably can’t put it in gear without the break on. There are some advantages to being able to drive something besides a fifteen year old car.”
Alex pulled the shifter until the orange line sat over the “D”.
“’Kay, now ease your foot slowly off the break.”
Alex did so, then slammed the breaks again, repeating this pattern until Calli cried, “Stop!” He slammed the break again and kept it there. “Alex, have you ever even ridden in a car before?”
“Yes, of course,” he said indignantly. Then, “Not in the front seat, per se, but . . .”
“Okay,” she said. “Get out.”
“What?”
“I’m going to show you first. Then you can try. You know, Alex, you’re so . . . capable at everything, I just assumed you’d be good with this as well.”
“Oh yeah?” he said, leaning toward her. “I’m only capable at everything?”
Calli’s eyes dropped to his mouth and she smiled. “Okay, maybe there are some things you’re good at.”
And then she let Alex prove to her just how good he was.
* * * * *
Calli knocked on the door to Winston’s den. She entered at his bidding, leaving the door ajar behind her. This shouldn’t take long.
“
What can I do for you, Calli?” he asked distractedly, eyes on his computer.
“I just came to say thanks.”
His gaze came to her at that. “For what?”
“For everything. For my dad especially.”
“He’s doing much better, isn’t he?”
That was an understatement. He was a completely different man than she’d left nearly six months ago. He’d stayed sober, was working for Mr. Stratford at the bank, and called to talk to Calli every day.
“If you hadn’t done . . . what you did, for him, I mean, then who knows how he’d be now? I was always a little afraid that he wouldn’t live long enough to see me graduate. Now, I think he’ll live long enough to be a grandpa someday. And I have you to thank for that. I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own.”
Winston leaned back in his chair, crossing his hands over his stomach. “So my help brought your father back to you, and your help brought my son back to me. I’d call us even.”
“Not quite,” Calli said. He lifted a brow. “I mean, I owe you so much more. You brought me here, gave me a nice place to stay, gave me Mr. Palmer who’s taught me way more than any of my teachers ever have. But even more, you brought Alex into my life.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed how close you two have gotten.”
Calli blushed, but didn’t deny it. “So, even though I’ve gotten a lot out of this whole deal, I want to ask for something more.”