XI
Emil came home at about half-past seven o'clock that evening. OldIvar met him at the windmill and took his horse, and the youngman went directly into the house. He called to his sister and sheanswered from her bedroom, behind the sitting-room, saying thatshe was lying down.
Emil went to her door.
"Can I see you for a minute?" he asked. "I want to talk to youabout something before Carl comes."
Alexandra rose quickly and came to the door. "Where is Carl?"
"Lou and Oscar met us and said they wanted to talk to him, so herode over to Oscar's with them. Are you coming out?" Emil askedimpatiently.
"Yes, sit down. I'll be dressed in a moment."
Alexandra closed her door, and Emil sank down on the old slat loungeand sat with his head in his hands. When his sister came out, helooked up, not knowing whether the interval had been short or long,and he was surprised to see that the room had grown quite dark.That was just as well; it would be easier to talk if he were notunder the gaze of those clear, deliberate eyes, that saw so far insome directions and were so blind in others. Alexandra, too, wasglad of the dusk. Her face was swollen from crying.
Emil started up and then sat down again. "Alexandra," he saidslowly, in his deep young baritone, "I don't want to go away tolaw school this fall. Let me put it off another year. I want totake a year off and look around. It's awfully easy to rush intoa profession you don't really like, and awfully hard to get out ofit. Linstrum and I have been talking about that."
"Very well, Emil. Only don't go off looking for land." She cameup and put her hand on his shoulder. "I've been wishing you couldstay with me this winter."
"That's just what I don't want to do, Alexandra. I'm restless.I want to go to a new place. I want to go down to the City ofMexico to join one of the University fellows who's at the head ofan electrical plant. He wrote me he could give me a little job,enough to pay my way, and I could look around and see what I wantto do. I want to go as soon as harvest is over. I guess Lou andOscar will be sore about it."
"I suppose they will." Alexandra sat down on the lounge besidehim. "They are very angry with me, Emil. We have had a quarrel.They will not come here again."
Emil scarcely heard what she was saying; he did not notice thesadness of her tone. He was thinking about the reckless life hemeant to live in Mexico.
"What about?" he asked absently.
"About Carl Linstrum. They are afraid I am going to marry him,and that some of my property will get away from them."
Emil shrugged his shoulders. "What nonsense!" he murmured. "Justlike them."
Alexandra drew back. "Why nonsense, Emil?"
"Why, you've never thought of such a thing, have you? They alwayshave to have something to fuss about."
"Emil," said his sister slowly, "you ought not to take things forgranted. Do you agree with them that I have no right to change myway of living?"
Emil looked at the outline of his sister's head in the dim light.They were sitting close together and he somehow felt that shecould hear his thoughts. He was silent for a moment, and then saidin an embarrassed tone, "Why, no, certainly not. You ought to dowhatever you want to. I'll always back you."
"But it would seem a little bit ridiculous to you if I marriedCarl?"
Emil fidgeted. The issue seemed to him too far-fetched to warrantdiscussion. "Why, no. I should be surprised if you wanted to. Ican't see exactly why. But that's none of my business. You oughtto do as you please. Certainly you ought not to pay any attentionto what the boys say."
Alexandra sighed. "I had hoped you might understand, a little,why I do want to. But I suppose that's too much to expect. I'vehad a pretty lonely life, Emil. Besides Marie, Carl is the onlyfriend I have ever had."
Emil was awake now; a name in her last sentence roused him. Heput out his hand and took his sister's awkwardly. "You ought todo just as you wish, and I think Carl's a fine fellow. He and Iwould always get on. I don't believe any of the things the boyssay about him, honest I don't. They are suspicious of him becausehe's intelligent. You know their way. They've been sore at meever since you let me go away to college. They're always trying tocatch me up. If I were you, I wouldn't pay any attention to them.There's nothing to get upset about. Carl's a sensible fellow. Hewon't mind them."
"I don't know. If they talk to him the way they did to me, I thinkhe'll go away."
Emil grew more and more uneasy. "Think so? Well, Marie said itwould serve us all right if you walked off with him."
"Did she? Bless her little heart! SHE would." Alexandra's voicebroke.
Emil began unlacing his leggings. "Why don't you talk to her aboutit? There's Carl, I hear his horse. I guess I'll go upstairs andget my boots off. No, I don't want any supper. We had supper atfive o'clock, at the fair."
Emil was glad to escape and get to his own room. He was a littleashamed for his sister, though he had tried not to show it. Hefelt that there was something indecorous in her proposal, and shedid seem to him somewhat ridiculous. There was trouble enough inthe world, he reflected, as he threw himself upon his bed, withoutpeople who were forty years old imagining they wanted to getmarried. In the darkness and silence Emil was not likely to thinklong about Alexandra. Every image slipped away but one. He hadseen Marie in the crowd that afternoon. She sold candy at thefair. WHY had she ever run away with Frank Shabata, and how couldshe go on laughing and working and taking an interest in things?Why did she like so many people, and why had she seemed pleased whenall the French and Bohemian boys, and the priest himself, crowdedround her candy stand? Why did she care about any one but him? Whycould he never, never find the thing he looked for in her playful,affectionate eyes?
Then he fell to imagining that he looked once more and found itthere, and what it would be like if she loved him,--she who, asAlexandra said, could give her whole heart. In that dream he couldlie for hours, as if in a trance. His spirit went out of his bodyand crossed the fields to Marie Shabata.
At the University dances the girls had often looked wonderinglyat the tall young Swede with the fine head, leaning against thewall and frowning, his arms folded, his eyes fixed on the ceilingor the floor. All the girls were a little afraid of him. He wasdistinguished-looking, and not the jollying kind. They felt thathe was too intense and preoccupied. There was something queer abouthim. Emil's fraternity rather prided itself upon its dances, andsometimes he did his duty and danced every dance. But whether hewas on the floor or brooding in a corner, he was always thinkingabout Marie Shabata. For two years the storm had been gatheringin him.