Why couldn’t the powers-that-be have made this simple? A door in a tree that could bring you to the realm you wish to go to. I’ll have to talk with them. Whoever they are.
The trees all seem to blend together as I try to make sense of where I am. I should have asked Ryder to help, but then he may have tried to stop me. He’ll know soon enough anyway. I’m sure Mercy doesn’t keep secrets like this from his top bodyguard. Or knight. Whatever.
I wrap my arms tighter around my middle, trying to ward off the chill of the late autumn air, wishing I had worn something thicker than my hoodie. The crisp smell of potential snow prompts me to move faster, my cold booted toes scuffling through the golden leaves on the forest floor. I’m having a hard time feeling my extremities, and the steam from my breath tricks me into thinking I’m in fog more than once.
“Well look what we have here.”
I jump, and suddenly understand that old cliché of having your heart in your throat.
The Snake Lady.
I try to speed up, tripping on hidden roots in my haste. I have zero desire to have an encounter with her of all people.
Her slithery voice is right next to me. How did she catch up so fast, so silently? Ignoring her doesn’t make her go away.
“I know why you’re here, darling.”
“You do?” My voice is breathless, wispy. Weak.
“Of course. I am your mother, aren’t I?”
Tears gather in my eyes at the thought of my mom. She’ll be hurt when she finds me gone, but I have to protect her from all of this. From me.
“You don’t know me at all.”
“That’s what you teenagers always think.” She sighs. “We should have a Fury charged with avenging the poor mothers who are so abused by their ungrateful teenage daughters. That could keep us busy.”
I keep charging forward, ignoring the tiny, bare branches and the scratches digging into my face.
“You’ll never get there, you know. Not without help.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“You’re not strong. You’re not educated in the ways of the realms. You are at the mercy- get it? The Mercy? Yes, you are at the mercy of,” giggle, “me.”
I whip around, tempted to let my own Fury loose, but more determined to not give her what she wants. I take a deep breath as I stare at this horror show of a biological mother.
“I’m not strong? Really? Have you looked at yourself lately? Just look at the way you live, neutered by gods more powerful than you. Preying on the weakness of others to make yourself feel more elevated. Yup, you’re my hero, dear egg donor.”
I turn away from her before her huffing and puffing and speechlessness turns into something more dangerous.
I know I’m in the right place. I just wish I had asked Ryder how to access Mercy’s world.
Nails dig into my arm, and my heart thunders. Can she hear it? Can she sense my fear? Can she sense that I’m about to…
Meg flies back against a tree, and I’m startled to realize it was my arms that pushed her. Where did that strength come from?
It is within you.
I hear Ryder’s voice in my head, and though I can’t remember when he whispered those words to me, I know they are his. And mine.
“Oh, Felicia, baby. Darling.” She wipes the front of her shirt and strolls casually toward me.
I know I should run, but I’m not going to lose myself in the woods again. I know I’m in the right spot. I feel the energy coursing through me. I just have to figure out a way in.
“Darling, you can have everything you ever dreamed about. The power, the ability to help others. All yours. You’d live a life of luxury with me. You don’t have to trifle with these human emotions, these obligations.”
That part sounds good. But no, living with her I would never be free. I’d be a slave to her and to my negative emotions. No way.
“Come with me.” She extends her hand, the moon glinting off her manicured finger nails, which seem to be lengthening as she gets closer. “Mommy will make everything better.”
“Thanks, but no thanks. Burgundy is so not my color.” I spin around again, giving her my back. Over my shoulder I whisper, “You will never be my mom. You’re nowhere near good enough.”
I hit the ground a fraction of a second later when she hurls herself at me and knocks me over. Roots dig into my gut. I can barely breathe. Her weight bears down, and her snakes surround me. The hiss, hiss of the creatures disorients me, and all I can see is a red blur.
“I tried to play nice, but look what you made me do.” Her voice is different now, kind of electronic.
I can’t get enough air to respond. My vision begins to fade, and if I don’t get oxygen soon, I’ll pass out. Or die.
“One way or the other, you’re coming with me.” A snake hisses right in my face, then sinks its venomous teeth into my cheek.
My scream bounces off the trees and hits my ears full force. Pain courses through my face, burning through my neck, down my arms, into my body. I stiffen and try to pull my arms out from beneath Meg’s weight so I can press my cheek, hoping to ease the pain. I can’t wiggle free.
I will not let her win. If I’m going to die, it will be on my terms. She lost the ability to control my destiny when she threw me away at birth.
And she dares to call herself a mother?
“Where are your protectors now, my dear?”
My Fury bursts free as soon as I visualize it. This thing on my back has got to go.
With new strength and the power of my anger (not to mention my desire to live), I cast her off my back and turn in time to watch her crash into a tree, her snakes tangling in the bushes.
“I’m no damsel in distress. Something you might know about me if you hadn’t thrown me away like unwanted garbage.”
She leaps up almost immediately, but I feel myself and my snakes growing stronger than ever before. One of her snakes bleeds, its darker blood mixing with the bloody tears that run like a river down her cheek. I’m surprised this creature has tears to cry, but then again, I know personally that Fury tears have nothing to do with sorrow.
“That’s my sweet daughter. I knew you had it in you. But you’ve wounded my favorite girl.” She caresses the snake in her hands.
I don’t wait, I don’t even think. I charge her, knocking her off balance, catching her off guard. My teeth lengthen in my mouth, cutting my cheek. The sharp points long to rip her to shreds, show her a bit of the pain she’s caused. Maybe I’ll start with finishing off her favorite snake.
I have Meg pinned to the ground, and my snakes flirt with her face. They plead with me to let them bite her, to give the psychic command. The pain in my cheek throbs, reminding me that she didn’t show any self-control toward me.
I let out a shriek so high-pitched it would break glass. I’m in her face, breathing her excessively perfumed scent, staring into her poisoned eyes. The power I yield intoxicates me. I could drive her as crazy as she’s been driving me. My screams can control whatever soul she has housed in that empty body of hers. Maybe I can get her to rip her own snakes out of her head. Or to jump off a cliff to punish herself. The choice could be hers, and I wouldn’t have to feel a bit of remorse.
I stop shrieking only long enough to refill my lungs. The second I stop, she shifts back into regular human form. Beneath me lies a woman who looks vulnerable. Not scared, exactly, but… human.
She smiles at me, a grin vibrant and full of pride. I’ve allowed myself to become what she wanted me to be. I’ve answered her prayers. I’ve made her proud. Not by contributing to society in a positive way, not by helping with chores, not by getting good grades. Not by providing food for hungry kids, not by sending a positive message to children who have fallen through the cracks.
But by embracing this evil inside of me. By allowing myself to dole out justice.
My snakes laugh in my head. Embracing the bad is way easier than working my butt off to change the world.
Felicia Ma
rie Murphy.
Mom’s voice fills my head. Is she here? Will she see me on my quest for justice?
Will she be disappointed in me?
I pause for a moment, and Meg regains the advantage. She rolls me over on my back, holding my fisted hands over my head with her steel grip. Her snakes swirl around me, and the pain in my cheek hits me again. I don’t want to endure another bite.
“You’ve made the right decision. You have so much potential. I’ll even let you pick your first assignment.”
“Like hell you will.”
I overpower her again, and this time my snakes wrap around her body, holding her steady.
“Good girl. In my time, we weren’t allowed to touch our victims. I love how things have evolved!”
“You won’t love it when I’ve destroyed every cell in your body.”
“Ah, but you can’t, my darling. That’s part of the whole ‘immortal’ thing. But I love that you’re trying. Tells me a lot about you.” She smiles, turning my gut into ground hamburger. “You are everything I dreamed you’d be.”
I grate my teeth, accidentally catching my cheek, and my mouth fills with coppery blood. I don’t mind, because my blood is the one reminder I have that I’m human.
My snakes tighten around her middle, and I smile a little when her eyes bulge the slightest bit. She’s afraid; I sense it. I’m not controlling the snakes—they’re acting of their own volition.
Or is this what I’m choosing to let myself believe? To hold onto the idea that I couldn’t possibly be capable of doing what I’m doing.
The voice in my head grows louder and louder. And then it’s a medley of voices. Mom’s, Ryder’s, Jade’s, even Corey’s. They plead with me to stop.
I close my eyes, willing their influence to go away. If the snakes kill this woman, maybe I can go back to my regular life. Maybe I can find a way to kill the Fury in me, too. Maybe things will go back to normal.
When I open my eyes again, I notice blood bubbling out the sides of Meg’s mouth, dripping down her human-like grin. The snakes squeeze tighter. My mind is black. All I can focus on is making the pain go away. Forever.
Chapter Forty Nine
I can’t do it.
My snakes ease up and I turn away, my shoulders slumped. The snakes retreat into my head, and my teeth return to normal. My vision clears, too. I hear Meg trying to cover the fact that she’s gasping for breath, and when I whip around again, she’s leaning against a tree. She straightens when I walk toward her again.
“I grant you Mercy.”
At my words, she begins to shriek, the scream meant to drive people to harm themselves. Her human form disappears beneath the horror of her full Fury, but she doesn’t frighten me. I have taken the higher ground.
“Your screams don’t affect me, egg donor.”
Meg grips my arm with her sharp nails. She bores into me through red eyes, daring me not to switch.
“I won’t do it again, Meg. I’ll never be like you, no matter how strong my snakes grow or how much I’d like to make you pay for what you’ve done.”
Her pitch gets higher. It hurts my ears, but I’m not about to let her know. I channel the techniques I use with the kids when they act out for attention and hope it works as well.
“No matter how much you try to deny your legacy, you won’t be able to hide it forever. The Fury will consume every part of you that is merciful. The Fury is stronger! This is your calling, whether you like it or not.”
“You can hurt me all you want. You can take me prisoner, lock me in a cage.” My snakes don’t bother to stir; they must know I mean business. “But no matter what you do to me, I will never use my Fury the way you want me to. And I will never choose to have anything to do with a pathetic excuse for a woman who could throw her baby away and only want her back when she has something to offer.”
Her grip loosens, and for a minute I think it’s because she has finally taken my words to heart.
And then Ryder is standing by my side. I didn’t notice his approach, but the look on his face tells me Meg is in some serious trouble, and she knows it, too.
Chapter Fifty
“I could kill you now for breaking the treaty.”
Ryder holds a long, golden sword in his hand. What is he doing with that? And how can he possibly kill her if she’s immortal?
Meg pulls her hand away from me as if she’d been burned. Her show of fear is hidden immediately, though, as her human form projects arrogance once again.
“I merely offered her a choice, which is more than you people have done for her.”
“Felicia has chosen.” Ryder holds the sword over his head, preparing to strike.
“Ryder, no!” I put my hand on his sword arm, hoping my touch will soothe him and not freak him out like it often does. “I’ve granted her Mercy. Let her go.”
“Sorry, sweetling.” Father Mercy? Here? “She has indeed crossed the line by entering this realm. She requires punishment.”
“You can’t kill her.” I’m surprised how strong my voice sounds.
Ryder meets my gaze and lowers his sword.
“Guards, capture her. You know where to bring her.” Mercy’s voice bounces off the trees, and a number of armored men step around him.
How did I not notice them sooner? As soon as the guards grab her by the arms, the fog I’ve been looking for appears like a not-so-hidden doorway. Right in front of me.
“Hey, how’d you do that?”
“I’ll teach you later.” Ryder gently strokes hair off my forehead. A chill runs through me at his touch, and he mistakes the shudder for a temperature-related chill. He shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. The warmth is nice, but his scent wrapped around me is delectable. He leans closer to my ear. “I’m sorry, I should have shown you before.”
“That’s okay. I wouldn’t have paid attention, anyway. I thought I knew what I wanted.”
I rub the arm that Meg dug into, and Ryder grabs it from me. He pushes up my sleeve and growls when he sees the bloody, bruising wound. He notices the bite on my face, and his expression turns grim.
“Get Megaera out of here. Before I take care of her myself.” His voice rumbles through the forest, and the guards secure their hold on Meg.
“Baby girl, don’t let them do this to me again. I don’t belong in a cage.” When I don’t respond, her pleas get louder. “It’s their fault you went away when you were born. It was never my choice! Please, baby, have mercy on me!”
Oh, she’ll use that, huh?
I walk up to her, startled by her show of weakness and by the hope I see glimmering in her eyes. I know manipulation when I see it.
“I won’t let them hurt you, Meg. I think it will do you good to take some time to think about how you’ve treated people, even those loyal to you.” I think of the blonde girl who wasn’t given the privilege of a name; the society of people who haven’t been allowed their own identity. “It’s karma’s turn to dole out some justice, don’tcha think?”
I turn away as Meg begins to fight the guards. I’ve had enough violence for one night. Or one lifetime.
“Please take me home.”
Mercy nods at Ryder, presumably giving him permission to escort me. I’m relieved that I can walk out on my own two frozen feet, and glad for once that Ryder is the silent type.
I’m drained.
I don’t have a plan, and I’m too tired to concoct one now. The only thing I want to do at the moment is curl up on my cozy couch with my comfy microfleece throw and sleep the night away.
Chapter Fifty-one
As soon as we pull up to the front of the house, Mom bolts out the door and runs toward me, her frizzy hair flopping wildly in the wind. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful.
“Mom.” We hug as if we’ve been separated for years rather than hours. Her sobs hurt my soul, and I wither a little when the full weight of what I’ve done—leaving again—bears down on me. She must have read my note.
I
open my eyes to see Ryder standing close by, near enough to offer support, yet far enough to give appropriate privacy for our reunion. He meets my eyes and lifts one side of his mouth in a half smile. I smile back, hoping someday he will realize how grateful I am for his constant protection since the first day he came to White Rock. He looks away first, busying himself with his cell.
Mom kisses the top of my head and holds me at arm’s length.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I got up to make some tea and found your letter. I was just coming out to find out whose butt I needed to kick to get you back.”
Tears gather in my eyes, and my gut clenches.
“I’m sor—”
“Don’t say a word, sweet pea. You’re back, and that’s all I care about. How could you ever think I would love you less because of who you are? Do you think that just because you have snakes coming out of your head I could forget the wonderful person beneath them?”
I kind of hope the neighbors aren’t listening. They’d lock us all up.
“I’m serious, Felicia. I will remember who you are even if you forget. And I will never stop helping you to remember, for the rest of my life. That’s a mom’s job.”
I hug her again, breathing in her sandalwood and rose scent and sending up a silent prayer to whoever decided my fate. I have never felt so lucky.
The sun rises, turning the sky pink and blue like cotton candy swirls. Even though it’s still pretty cold out, the warmth fills me. I don’t know how long we’ve been standing here on the front walkway, but I’m startled when I see Jade running down the sidewalk, barreling toward me. My mom releases me in time for Jade to throw herself into my arms.
“Don’t you ever leave my life again!”
“But I’ve been a terrible friend. To you, to Corey. I’ve been so self-absorbed, I thought—”
“Oh hush, you. You think you’re the only one who’s been self-absorbed? I didn’t even know you found your birth parents. I judged you too quickly, and I’m the one who is sorry.”
There’s a lot more I need to confide in Jade, but I have to find a way to work it into a conversation.
“Besties again?”
“Forever.” I steal a page out of my mom’s book and make Jade pinky promise.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I steal a peek at the text while we walk into the house to warm up over a cup of hot cocoa.