CHAPTER XXVII
_A proclamation by the Baron--Excessive curiosity of the people to knowwhat fudge was--The people in a general ferment about it--They breakopen all the granaries in the empire--The affections of the peopleconciliated--An ode performed in honour of the Baron--His discoursewith Fragrantia on the excellence of the music._
Some time after I ordered the following proclamation to be published inthe Court Gazette, and in all the other papers of the empire:--
BY THE MOST MIGHTY AND PUISSANT LORD,
HIS EXCELLENCY THE
LORD BARON MUNCHAUSEN.
Whereas a quantity of fudge has been distributed through all thegranaries of the empire for particular uses; and as the natives haveever expressed their aversion to all manner of European eatables, it ishereby strictly forbidden, under pain of the severest penalties, forany of the officers charged with the keeping of the said fudge to give,sell, or suffer to be sold, any part or quantity whatever of the saidmaterial, until it be agreeable unto our good will and pleasure.
Dated in our Castle of Gristariska
this Triskill of the month of
Griskish, in the year Moulikasra-
navas-kashna-vildash.
This proclamation excited the most ardent curiosity all over the empire."Do you know what this fudge is?" said Lady Mooshilgarousti to LordDarnarlaganl. "Fudge!" said he, "Fudge! no: what fudge?" "I mean,"replied her Ladyship, "the enormous quantity of fudge that has beendistributed under guards in all the strong places in the empire, andwhich is strictly forbidden to be sold or given to any of the nativesunder the severest penalties." "Lord!" replied he, "what in the nameof wonder can it be? Forbidden! why it must, but pray do you, LadyFashashash, do you know what this fudge is? Do you, Lord Trastillauex?or you, Miss Gristilarkask? What! nobody knows what this fudge can be?"
It engrossed for several days the chit-chat of the whole empire. Fudge,fudge, fudge, resounded in all companies and in all places, from therising until the setting of the sun; and even at night, when gentlesleep refreshed the rest of mortals, the ladies of all that country weredreaming of fudge!
"Upon my honour," said Kitty, as she was adjusting her modesty piecebefore the glass, just after getting out of bed, "there is scarceanything I would not give to know what this fudge can be." "La! mydear," replied Miss Killnariska, "I have been dreaming the whole nightof nothing but fudge; I thought my lover kissed my hand, and pressed itto his bosom, while I, frowning, endeavoured to wrest it from him: thathe kneeled at my feet. No, never, never will I look at you, cried I,till you tell me what this fudge can be, or get me some of it. Begone!cried I, with all the dignity of offended beauty, majesty, and a tragicqueen. Begone! never see me more, or bring me this delicious fudge. Heswore, on the honour of a knight, that he would wander o'er the world,encounter every danger, perish in the attempt, or satisfy the angel ofhis soul."
The chiefs and nobility of the nation, when they met together to drinktheir kava, spoke of nothing but fudge. Men, women, and children all,all talked of nothing but fudge. 'Twas a fury of curiosity, one generalferment, and universal fever--nothing but fudge could allay it.
But in one respect they all agreed, that government must have had someinterested view, in giving such positive orders to preserve it, and keepit from the natives of the country. Petitions were addressed to mefrom all quarters, from every corporation and body of men in the wholeempire. The majority of the people instructed their constituents, andthe parliament presented a petition, praying that I would be pleasedto take the state of the nation under consideration, and give ordersto satisfy the people, or the most dreadful consequences were to beapprehended. To these requests, at the entreaty of my council, I made noreply, or at best but unsatisfactory answers. Curiosity was on the rack;they forgot to lampoon the government, so engaged were they about thefudge. The great assembly of the states could think of nothing else.Instead of enacting laws for the regulation of the people, instead ofconsulting what should seem most wise, most excellent, they could think,talk, and harangue of nothing but fudge. In vain did the Speaker callto order; the more checks they got the more extravagant and inquisitivethey were.
In short, the populace in many places rose in the most outrageous andtumultuous manner, forced open the granaries in all places in one day,and triumphantly distributed the fudge through the whole empire.
Whether on account of the longing, the great curiosity, imagination,or the disposition of the people, I cannot say--but they found itinfinitely to their taste; 'twas intoxication of joy, satisfaction, andapplause.
Finding how much they liked this fudge, I procured another quantity fromEngland, much greater than the former, and cautiously bestowed it overall the kingdom. Thus were the affections of the people regained; andthey, from hence, began to venerate, applaud, and admire my governmentmore than ever. The following ode was performed at the castle, in themost superb style, and universally admired:--
ODE.
Ye bulls and crickets, and Gog, Magog, And trump'ts high chiming anthrophog, Come sing blithe choral all in _og_, Caralog, basilog, fog, and bog!
Great and superb appears thy cap sublime, Admired and worshipp'd as the rising sun; Solemn, majestic, wise, like hoary Time, And fam'd alike for virtue, sense, and fun.
Then swell the noble strain with song, And elegance divine, While goddesses around shall throng, And all the muses nine.
And bulls, and crickets, and Gog, Magog, And trumpets chiming anthrophog, Shall sing blithe choral all in _og_, Caralog, basilog, fog, and bog!
This piece of poetry was much applauded, admired, and _encored_ in everypublic assembly, celebrated as an astonishing effort of genius; andthe music, composed by Minheer Gastrashbark Gkrghhbarwskhk, was thoughtequal to the sense!--Never was there anything so universally admired,the summit of the most exquisite wit, the keenest praise, the mostexcellent music.
"Upon my honour, and the faith I owe my love," said I, "music may betalked of in England, but to possess the very soul of harmony the worldshould come to the performance of this ode." Lady Fragrantia was atthat moment drumming with her fingers on the edge of her fan, lost in areverie, thinking she was playing upon----Was it a forte piano?
"No, my dear Fragrantia," said I, tenderly taking her in my arms whileshe melted into tears; "never, never, will I play upon any other----!"
Oh! 'twas divine, to see her like a summer's morning, all blushing andfull of dew!