CHAPTER XXVIII
_The Baron sets all the people of the empire to work to build a bridgefrom their country to Great Britain--His contrivance to render the archsecure--Orders an inscription to be engraved on the bridge--Returns withall his company, chariot, etc., to England--Surveys the kingdoms andnations under him from the middle of the bridge._
"And now, most noble Baron," said the illustrious Hilaro Frosticos, "nowis the time to make this people proceed in any business that we findconvenient. Take them at this present ferment of the mind, let them notthink, but at once set them to work." In short, the whole nation wentheartily to the business, to build an edifice such as was never seen inany other country. I took care to supply them with their favourite kavaand fudge, and they worked like horses. The tower of Babylon, which,according to Hermogastricus, was seven miles high, or the Chinese wall,was a mere trifle, in comparison to this stupendous edifice, which wascompleted in a very short space of time.
It was of an immense height, far beyond anything that ever had beenbefore erected, and of such gentle ascent, that a regiment of cavalrywith a train of cannon could ascend with perfect ease and facility. Itseemed like a rainbow in the heavens, the base of which appeared to risein the centre of Africa, and the other extremity seemed to stoop intogreat Britain. A most noble bridge indeed, and a piece of masonry thathas outdone Sir Christopher Wren. Wonderful must it have been to form sotremendous an arch, especially as the artists had certain difficultiesto labour against which they could not have in the formation of anyother arch in the world--I mean, the attraction of the moon andplanets: Because the arch was of so great a height, and in some partsso elongated from the earth, as in a great measure to diminish in itsgravitation to the centre of our globe; or rather, seemed more easilyoperated upon by the attraction of the planets: So that the stones ofthe arch, one would think, at certain times, were ready to fall _up_to the moon, and at other times to fall down to the earth. But as theformer was more to be dreaded, I secured stability to the fabric by avery curious contrivance: I ordered the architects to get the heads ofsome hundred numbskulls and blockheads, and fix them to the interiorsurface of the arch, at certain intervals, all the whole length, bywhich means the arch was held together firm, and its inclination to theearth eternally established; because of all the things in the world, theskulls of these kind of animals have a strange facility of tending tothe centre of the earth.
The building being completed, I caused an inscription to be engraved inthe most magnificent style upon the summit of the arch, in letters sogreat and luminous, that all vessels sailing to the East or West Indiesmight read them distinct in the heavens, like the motto of Constantine.
KARDOL BAGARLAN KAI TON FARINGO SARGAI RA
MO PASHROL VATINEAC CAL COLNITOS RO NA FILNAT
AGASTRA SA DINGANNAL FANO.
That is to say, "As long as this arch and bond of union shall exist,so long shall the people be happy. Nor can all the power of the worldaffect them, unless the moon, advancing from her usual sphere, shouldso much attract the skulls as to cause a sudden elevation, on which thewhole will fall into the most horrible confusion."
An easy intercourse being thus established between Great Britain andthe centre of Africa, numbers travelled continually to and from bothcountries, and at my request mail coaches were ordered to run onthe bridge between both empires. After some time, having settled thegovernment to my satisfaction, I requested permission to resign, as agreat cabal had been excited against me in England; I therefore receivedmy letters of recall, and prepared to return to Old England.
In fine, I set out upon my journey, covered with applause and generaladmiration. I proceeded with the same retinue that I had before--Sphinx,Gog and Magog, &c., and advanced along the bridge, lined on each sidewith rows of trees, adorned with festoons of various flowers, andilluminated with coloured lights. We advanced at a great rate along thebridge, which was so very extensive that we could scarcely perceive theascent, but proceeded insensibly until we arrived on the centre of thearch. The view from thence was glorious beyond conception; 'twas divineto look down on the kingdoms and seas and islands under us. Africaseemed in general of a tawny brownish colour, burned up by the sun:Spain seemed more inclining to a yellow, on account of some fields ofcorn scattered over the kingdom; France appeared more inclining to abright straw-colour, intermixed with green; and England appeared coveredwith the most beautiful verdure. I admired the appearance of the BalticSea, which evidently seemed to have been introduced between thosecountries by the sudden splitting of the land, and that originallySweden was united to the western coast of Denmark; in short, the wholeinterstice of the Gulf of Finland had no being, until thesecountries, by mutual consent, separated from one another. Such were myphilosophical meditations as I advanced, when I observed a man in armourwith a tremendous spear or lance, and mounted upon a steed, advancingagainst me. I soon discovered by a telescope that it could be no otherthan Don Quixote, and promised myself much amusement in the rencounter.