He stumbled back a step but still caught me in his arms. His head dipped and lips brushed against my neck for a second before he nipped at the soft skin there. “That will not be allowed there, but, by all means, greet me this way every day.”
I giggled and pushed away from him, and as soon as my feet were on the floor again, I was running to my large closet to find something to wear.
I was so giddy that my entire body was practically vibrating with excitement.
Outside . . . I was going outside. I was going to breathe fresh air for the first time in months.
I still didn’t know days as they passed by. And while some passed quickly where others felt like weeks, I knew it was sometime in early July from an e-mail Lucas had received a week or so ago.
I’d wanted a specific recipe and, as he often did for me, Lucas had e-mailed William’s women. He normally wrote the recipes out, but that particular morning he’d been called in for a meeting and had just printed off the e-mail instead. It had been dated July 1st—exactly two months after I had been taken.
I had held the paper in my hand for nearly an hour just staring at the date, an all too familiar ache flaring in my chest as I did. And as that date and the rest of the words on the paper blurred, I knew why Lucas never wanted me to focus on what day it was, or how long I had been gone.
Because it hurt too much. Because then I was sucked right back into that pain and grief. Because then the progress Lucas and I had made—the progress he now so patiently waited for, but so obviously craved—seemed to vanish.
But for the first time, my tears hadn’t fallen as I’d mourned Kyle and my life in Atlanta. My eyes had burned and my vision had blurred, but the tears had dried before they could fall. And I’d been left with nothing more than a hollow ache in my chest and memories that transformed into comparisons and denials.
Meaningless denials, because there was no denying what my heart and my mind now screamed.
I had tried . . . God, I’d tried to keep my distance from Lucas after that night with him. I’d tried to build up my hate again. I’d forced myself to think of Kyle constantly. I’d told myself repeatedly that what had happened and what I’d felt had been nothing more than a product of some sick, twisted savior complex from when he’d saved me from William.
I had told myself so many things . . .
But Lucas had stolen a piece of my heart a day at a time before I’d willingly handed over the rest. It was dangerous and stupid to do, I knew that, but I was helpless to keep it from him because I was already gone to him.
Wholly, irrefutably his. Our pasts and future and his darkness be damned.
My devil, who constantly fought against the darkness he was so wrapped up in, was still incredibly affectionate, considering he wasn’t supposed to be.
He had gone back to working at the office a couple weeks ago, and while it made my days different, lonelier, I was glad for the distance. I’d wondered if constantly being in a house with Lucas was the cause behind my shift in my affection toward him—even if we did spend time apart—but had gotten my answer that first night he’d come back to the house.
I could still vividly remember the way my heart had taken off, trying to burst from my chest when those dark, dark eyes had sought and found me. In that moment, it’d felt like I was looking at what I’d been missing for months . . . home.
The only thing that had kept me where I’d stood in the kitchen when all I’d wanted was to run into his arms, was the devastating realization that I’d never had that feeling looking into Kyle’s eyes.
Since that night, there had been a change between Lucas and me. A slow burn that was known, but not acknowledged, and with each passing day we’d gotten closer to giving in.
And now we had to play a role for William.
Once dressed, I finished curling my hair that we had re-dyed recently, sprayed myself with the perfume that Lucas had bought me a few days before, and checked my outfit in the full-length mirror one last time.
I was in a pair of torn skinny jeans with a black silk tank and white blazer, and one of my favorite things my shopper had bought: a pair of leopard-print satin, pointed-toe Louboutin stilettos that put me at the perfect height for Lucas to brush his mouth across my forehead.
As far as Lucas was concerned, I still maintained they were just clothes, but my closet did make for fun days as I put outfits together, and waited to see what Lucas did and didn’t like.
He liked me in these shoes, as I had found out when I’d been breaking them in weeks ago.
When I was satisfied with the way I looked, I turned to leave and froze when I found Lucas standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, with a heated look as his eyes devoured every inch of my body.
My breathing deepened from the warmth of his stare, and I wanted to bask in the desire that swirled inside me.
When his eyes finally made it back to mine, his intense stare and gruff voice made my heart race. “You can’t wear that.”
My head jerked back in confusion. “Why not?”
“Because I will break every rule in front of William if you do.”
The confusion melted away, and I bit back a smile as I walked toward him. “I’m ready then.”
“Briar,” he growled with a hint of a warning.
“Yes, Devil?” My lips spread into a smile, and I reached out to brush my fingers against his jaw as I walked past him. “Come on,” I whined when he didn’t move. “I want to go outside. We’re going outside.” I bounced excitedly as I waited for him to reach my side.
His worry faded as my excitement transferred to him. “Don’t jump in those. I don’t need William harassing me because I had to call the doctor during our visit.”
“I’ve been practicing—”
“Jumping?” he asked with a laugh.
“No, running.”
“In those?”
I lifted my foot and looked behind me at the superfine heel. “Of course. I need to be able to run away from you.”
Lucas’s dark eyes danced, and one of his large hands gripped at my waist, pulling me closer. “And where would you go?”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t get far,” I promised softly, letting the tips of my fingers trail over the spot on his jaw I had touched just moments before. “I’m your blackbird. These wings are broken without you near.”
His handsome face transformed into something like awe for bated seconds, and then his mouth was on mine for the first time since that night all those weeks ago. The force of his kiss sent us stumbling back until we were pressed up against the wall, and a moan crawled up my throat when he bit down on my bottom lip and tugged gently.
“Briar, I should warn you,” he said against my mouth, his voice rough. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”
I’d barely cracked a smile before he was kissing me again, taking and taking and taking in a way I hadn’t known I’d been craving. And I was sure it wouldn’t ever be enough.
And soon everything was forgotten except for Lucas and his lips and our kiss.
Chapter 25
Day 70 with Blackbird
Lucas
“We’re almost there,” I said into the phone, and locked my jaw when William demanded to know why we were late.
We would be five minutes late, seven at the most, because kissing Briar and showing her how incredible she was would always be more important than my mentor.
I could’ve lied and said we were late because I’d had to teach Briar a lesson or because there’d been more traffic than I’d expected, but I knew he would see through it. Whenever William asked about Briar and our home it was there in his tone, he was searching for something that shouldn’t be there—and it was there now.
“I said we’re almost there. Goodbye, William.” I hung up before he could ask any more questions and looked over at where Briar was resting her head on her arm. Her fingers were weaving through the wind as we drove, and long tendrils of hair whipped around her . . . I had never seen her
so relaxed.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes.” She looked over at me, and her ease vanished. “Don’t display affection at all,” she recalled quietly.
“Good. And if I tell you to do something, you have to do it, Briar.”
There was a pause before she nodded hesitantly. “You keep saying that, but what does that mean? What would you make me do?”
I pressed my knuckles under her chin, forcing her to look up at me. “I need you to stop thinking that way. I can see your fear, but there shouldn’t be any. I’ve told you, William crossed a critical line that day he showed up at the house and tried to train you.”
Her eyes darted away at the mention of my mentor, and though she relaxed at my words, she wouldn’t look at me when she whispered, “But what are you expected to do to me while we’re there?”
“Nothing, Blackbird.” I waited until her worried stare met mine to continue. “You won’t ever have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable in front of others—the helpers who come to the house don’t count. They’re there for you. Tonight . . . tonight would only be like telling you to go in another room if I have to talk to William, or telling you to get me something. Things like that. Nothing degrading, but you can’t question it. They can’t see you question me. They have to see you obey everything. But even if you don’t, you don’t have to worry about being taught a lesson because lessons are only ever done between the man and his girl, privately. And I already swore that I would never teach you another one. Understood?”
This time when she nodded, she looked more confident, and that peace was back on her face. When the car rolled to a stop, she said, “Lucas, what if everyone does this?”
I looked at her with confusion, and she gestured between us.
“This conversation, what we’re doing now. How do you know they don’t all have these conversations and just pretend in front of other people?”
Oh, my blackbird.
“They don’t, Briar. You’ll see a fraction of it tonight, but as you meet more of the men and their women, it will be very clear that those men follow the rules. Doesn’t mean their women aren’t happy. And you can’t hint that there’s anything different between our bond and theirs . . . even to the women. They’re just as loyal to this world as the men are.”
I knew she was disappointed that I had just shot down her hope for the other houses, but I couldn’t let her think the impossible about them. I couldn’t let her think that we were normal when we were the furthest from that. When I was living with the weight of what our life, and my need for her, would one day mean for the both of us.
“All right, let’s go. And, Briar?” I waited until she was looking up at me again. “Don’t say my name while we’re in there.”
She jerked back as shock touched her face. “Am I not supposed to? Is that a rule?”
“It’s not. But in there? You need to mean nothing to me. And when you say my name, it makes me want things with you that I’m not allowed to have in my life, and I can’t afford to not be your devil in that house.” I got out of the car, leaving her there to follow me as crimson stained her cheeks.
By the time we made it to the front door of my mentor’s large house, Briar’s face was pale.
“You promise I look okay?” she asked under her breath.
My mouth twitched. Turning my head away from the window I knew William would be watching us from, I whispered, “Breathtaking,” then rang the doorbell.
The door was wrenched open, and I was thumped on the back of the head with something solid before I could turn back around.
Briar’s face fell, but I was already smiling despite the throbbing pain in my head as I turned to find Karina standing there with a glare and large wooden spoon.
Karina was my favorite of William’s women. She’d been brought over from somewhere in Italy, and had never once thought of going back. She’d always claimed William and this house were a safe haven compared to the life she’d been in before.
I don’t remember my mom—she’d left when I was young—and Karina had been the only one of William’s women to never have children even though she was the most motherly. From the first day of my training with William, she’d claimed I was as good as hers by reprimanding me and hitting me with that wooden spoon that was practically attached to her hand. She was outspoken, loving, and the one most likely to let you know when you had annoyed her . . . like my blackbird.
“Karina,” I said warmly and stepped up to kiss her cheek, but was stopped when she hit me again.
“I have been waiting for months, and you have ignored my wishes,” she hissed. “Months.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and breathed deeply. “You know how this works, you can’t just demand things like that. She wasn’t ready.”
Karina scoffed at me, but it wasn’t the same as when William did it. Hers was affectionate, like her. “Well, we have been ready. The others are furious with you for keeping her from us. Now let me take her so she can avoid the wrath that is coming for you inside this house.”
“Karina,” I said in warning and received another whack.
“Don’t you use that tone with me, Lucas. I am not afraid of you, boy.” She pushed me out of the way and a brilliant smile lit up her face, making her look younger as she stared at my blackbird. “Briar,” she said with admiration. “Oh, you are so beautiful.”
Briar looked terrified.
I cleared my throat, and Briar’s wide eyes snapped to me. “Briar, this is Karina. William’s first. Go with her and let her introduce you to the others.”
She nodded without hesitation and stepped past me to take Karina’s outstretched hand.
Karina began pulling her away, already talking to her about how all the women had been eager to meet her.
As soon as I stepped inside the house and shut the door, he was there.
“She’s quiet tonight,” my mentor mused. “She also looked frightened. I thought you said she was progressing.”
“She is, but Karina attacked me before we were even inside—of course Briar’s going to be scared now. I don’t think she was expecting any of your women to be so . . .”
“Like Karina?”
I laughed and nodded as the women rounded a corner at the end of the long hall, taking them from my sight. “Exactly.”
Unease pulsed through me, and I had to fight against the need to put Briar in my sight again. I wasn’t worried about how she would get along with the women, none of them were cruel, but I was nervous that Briar might accidentally say something she wasn’t supposed to. Something that would hint that there was more happening in our home than should. Hearing it would put all of William’s women in a tricky situation, because even though they cared about me as a “son,” they were loyal to William and this life.
The children born of most of these . . . families, for lack of a better word, went on to school and to marry and never spoke of this life to anyone. They also weren’t allowed to come back once they left. Some of the houses made the children think they were in a type of extravagant orphanage with the women as caretakers, so the kids never knew any better. Other houses, the women weren’t allowed to have children.
If any of the men ever took on an apprentice, it wasn’t often that the apprentices formed family type bonds with the mentor’s women, as I had with William’s. But I had come in just as the last of their children had left the house, and once Karina had claimed me as hers, the rest of the women had quickly followed.
And for the next three years it had been a never-ending question of when I would buy a daughter-in-law for them to spoil. It had been a long three years of training, an even longer six months after the auction when I hadn’t bought a girl, and an unbearable two months once I’d bought Briar.
“Why has it taken so long for this visit?” William asked, pulling me from my restlessness.
“She wasn’t ready,” I said automatically and met his hard stare.
He seemed to think for a moment
, but I knew he was just purposefully dragging out my time away from her to see if I would break and go after her. “Could that be because you’re too soft on her? It seems the only time she made progress was when I went to—”
I took a quick step toward him until I was in his space, but he didn’t flinch. “Do you have any idea what you did by showing up that day? She wasn’t ready, William . . . for this. She’s terrified of you because she thinks you will teach her another lesson that you never should’ve taught my girl.”
“She needed to be pushed,” he said simply, a wry smile pulling at his mouth. “And don’t forget . . . I only did a little bending.”
I straightened and looked down on him. “It’s up to me to know when and how. You’ve already had thirteen of your own, but if you’re so desperate to break another, go to an auction. Leave mine alone.”
“You’re in too deep, Lucas,” he called out when I turned to leave.
I slowly looked over my shoulder and narrowed my eyes. “Why, because I don’t want another man near what’s mine? Because I don’t want another man looking at a body I paid for? Your mentor never did anything like this, and none would ever dare to. You’re breaking rules because you’re worried about me embarrassing you, but you won’t have a life to be embarrassed about if you cross me again.”
He considered my words for only a second before nodding, as if I hadn’t just threatened his life.
Then again, he had told me what to say and do to protect myself and my house. He thought he knew what was a show of dominance and what was to be taken seriously.
If he was smart, he wouldn’t be so confident in his assumptions.
Facing forward, I blew out a harsh breath and went to find my blackbird.
Let’s get this night over with.
Chapter 26
Devastating
Briar
“We will send Lucas more recipes for you,” Lisa promised.
“Yes,” Jordan agreed, then swatted playfully at Lucas. “And we will see if Mr. Grouchy will allow us to visit you.”