“And if not, make him bring you to us.” That had been from Sahira, with a look daring Lucas to say no.
The rest of William’s women hurried to add their goodbyes as I was engulfed in hugs.
I didn’t want to let go of them, and I didn’t want to leave. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed talking with people other than Lucas until I’d been thrown into a room with William’s women.
But as the last hug ended and I looked up into cold blue eyes, I was suddenly ready to go. William had made this night miserable.
When he and I had been in the same room, his eyes hadn’t left me. Always studying, always waiting to see if I would do something I shouldn’t. And even though he never said or did anything to make me uncomfortable tonight, I couldn’t get that horrific morning with him out of my mind, and it made my skin crawl.
But it was clear his women adored him . . . and I now understood Lucas’s words: it was also obvious they followed the rules.
The women were all close . . . the best of friends. There didn’t seem to be jealousy between them, but then again, I had only been there for a few hours. They were loud and infectious with their laughter, and scolded Lucas as if he were their child, but the mood shifted when William was with them. They all seemed to wait for him to give them something to do and clung to his every word. There was a great deal of respect when they spoke to him, and yet they were always at ease with him and even made jokes at his expense in front of him every now and then—something I was sure came with living together as long as they all had.
I didn’t know how to explain it, but I could see it.
And I hated it.
Hated that the women’s friendships and their devotion to William had come from being stolen. Hated that they’d been bought by a man so cold and unforgiving and cruel. Hated that William and this life was so much better than what they’d had before they’d been kidnapped that they’d happily chosen to stay.
My heart ached knowing I would never understand the kind of suffering those women had gone through. Knowing they would never see the beauty that life and love had to offer.
“Until next time, Briar,” William said in that elegant accent that made my blood run cold.
I forced a smile and murmured, “Thank you for dinner,” before turning to follow Lucas, already walking toward the car.
Calm . . . withdrawn.
Liar.
His fingers had traced random shapes on the inside of my thigh throughout dinner. His large hand had gripped my hip possessively when I’d passed him in the hall on my way to help the women with dishes, his eyes conveying how hard he was struggling to keep himself from me. He had followed me into the bathroom and shoved me up against the door to attack my mouth and neck for heated seconds before he’d abruptly stopped and slipped back out.
And I had been counting down the hours until we could leave so I could have another hint of how much he wanted me.
I’d never craved a kiss as much.
He slipped into the car after I did, and as soon as the door closed behind him, energy sparked between us. He held up a hand so it was hovering just above his leg in a silent command to wait, so I sat still with my head bowed as I fidgeted with my hands, waiting for the driver to take off.
I wanted to know how he thought the night had gone, and if William had said anything. I wanted his touch. I wanted so many things . . .
“Luc—”
He lifted my head and pinned me up against the door of the car, his mouth slamming down onto mine in a feverish rush after we turned out of the street. A rumble vibrated deep in his chest when I turned in the seat and pushed back until our positions were switched so I was now leaning on him.
He gripped at my bottom and pulled me higher on his lap, pressing me down where he strained against his pants. I broke from the kiss and tilted my head back—a silent plea of my own.
“You were perfect,” he growled against my throat, and I smiled as relief filled me.
“You were bad,” I accused.
He laughed huskily and tightened his grip on me as his mouth dipped lower on my chest, and his hands released me to push my top up.
I pressed my hand against the top of the car to steady myself and arched back, needing his mouth on me—needing so much more than what he could give me now when this already was so much more than I had allowed in over a month.
“Wait, no,” I choked out through my heavy breaths just as the shirt passed over my lace-covered breasts. “Wait.”
He dropped the shirt immediately but groaned my name in frustration as he ran his hands over his face and through his hair.
His dark eyes were fire.
They were need and want, seduction and frustration.
“I’m sorry I just need a second to—I just need to breathe.” I scrambled from his lap and over to the door, rolling down the window to reveal the city covered in night . . .
And I forced myself to breathe.
I felt horrible for giving him the smallest taste before backing away, but my head had still been spinning from the teasing kisses and touches that had made the night such a sweet torture, and it had taken too long to realize I was afraid of what he could do to my heart if I gave him more of myself. If I gave in to him simply because my body ached for his touch.
Because the last month and those teases had promised everything I craved from him, but I knew he could easily turn into the man who just took, and I would be powerless to stop him. And after a night where he witnessed thirteen obedient women, I was afraid it would push him in that direction.
“Bri—”
“I just need a second,” I whispered quickly.
I looked back into the car when the privacy window rolled down and then slowly over to Lucas when he said, “Stop the car.”
“Lucas, I’m sorry.”
His mouth lifted in a faint smile, but quickly fell. “You need some air?”
I hesitated before nodding.
Long seconds passed before he said to the driver, “Wait here. We’ll be back.”
I stared at Lucas blankly when he got out of the car and held a hand out to me. “What are you doing?”
He leaned back into the car to gently grasp my wrist and pull me out. “We are going to walk around the city for a little while.”
Surprise made my eyes widen and mouth pop open, and I stumbled to keep up with him as we crossed the street. “We’re what? You’re not mad at me?”
His next laugh was low and throaty and laced with exasperation. “I’m frustrated, Blackbird, but it can be taken care of by myself when we get home.” His eyes darted over my face when I flushed with embarrassment, and he pulled me into his arms to kiss my forehead. “But, no, I’m not mad at you. You needed air, and I needed out of that car before my training took over and I forced you onto your back, so we’re walking.”
I stared at our feet for a second when his lips lingered on my skin and asked awkwardly, “Is this allowed?”
When he pulled away from me, that same sad smile from the car briefly crossed his face. “No. Letting you walk around outside, especially in the city, is incredibly dangerous.”
“Because you don’t trust me.” It was a statement, not a question. If he trusted me, I would be allowed on the main level of the house.
He faltered then shook his head. “I don’t trust you not to run.”
I didn’t blame him. This was something I had longed for in the beginning—to gain his trust enough to be allowed outside. Even though he was with me, there were still so many things I could do.
Lucas leaned forward—his chest pressed close to mine, and his lips brushed against my ear when he asked, “You think I don’t trust you, Blackbird? Look around. Look at all the people.”
I didn’t move from him as I let my eyes touch on the couples and groups of people near us. It wasn’t too late, and this part of the city was filled with people. I could easily slip away from him or scream for help, and someone would actually be able to hear me
. . .
“You want to know where you are?” he asked, his tempting voice edging on a whisper. “You’re standing in downtown Houston.”
Houston . . . Texas.
Oh my God.
I stumbled back a step to look around at the buildings and restaurants.
Knowing where I was made me feel steady for the first time in so long. Made me think it would be possible to get back to Atlanta and Kyle, like I had dreamed of doing so many times . . .
But that thought was fleeting.
Because those dreams were from before everything had changed—before I truly knew Lucas. That was before I’d understood that, despite how much I loved Kyle, it wasn’t a fraction of what I was capable of feeling for someone.
Going back to Kyle, no matter how much I ached to see him, meant losing Lucas. And though it was ridiculous because it had only been a couple months, the thought of a life without Lucas made that ache of not being with Kyle seem like nothing. Like a paper cut compared to losing a limb. Or half of your soul.
“I told you earlier . . .” I trailed off, and finally looked into his worried eyes. “I wouldn’t get far without you.”
“That was before you were standing freely in the city, Briar,” he argued.
“Then take me home,” I pleaded, and tried to leave his arms to go back to the car, but he didn’t let me go. “If you’re so worried, then take me home.”
“You and I both need this, and after tonight, you deserve this.” One of his hands cupped the back of my neck, bringing my face closer to his until our noses were touching. “I need you to know that these months with you have been the best of my life, Briar.”
Something like fear and heartache seized my chest. “Are you—do you want me to go?”
“No,” he said fervently. “But in the chance that you do, I need you to know what I wouldn’t be able to say after. And if you do, know that I will chase you until I find you again because I don’t think I know how to live without you now.”
Why . . . why did this man insist on making me fall in love with him when I would never be able to have him the way I wanted?
“Then come chase me . . .” I whispered, and a hard rush of air left him.
Lucas’s arms fell limply when I pushed away from him, and I kept my eyes focused only on him as I backed away. Anger and agony swirled through those eyes and across his face as he watched me go until confusion replaced it when he realized where I was going.
He started in my direction, his steps hesitant at first, then surer as he closed the distance to where I was climbing into the car.
My decision had been made. There was no running . . . from anything anymore. He not only owned my body, he owned my heart and my shattered soul that he’d pieced back together.
By the time he slid in behind me and shut the door, my top was falling onto my jacket on the floor of the car.
“Briar,” he said, his voice barely above a growl.
I swallowed roughly and reached for him. “Take us home.”
The driver had put the privacy glass back up at some point, and Lucas leaned forward to pound his fist on it. “Drive,” he called out, and then his mouth was on my neck as his hands went to my lace-covered breasts.
I fumbled with the clasp of the bra and then moaned when his mouth replaced his hands once he pulled the material away. He laid me back against the seat and knelt between my knees, and a part of me wished I had waited until home. The car was too constricting—but there was no stopping this now.
I wove my fingers in his hair and pulled his face up to mine, holding it back just enough so my lips brushed his. “Give me more . . . give me everything.” My sharp inhale filled the backseat when he bit down roughly on my bottom lip, and my stomach heated when he made quick work of taking off my shoes and unbuttoning my pants.
His aggravation with how difficult it was to get those jeans off was clear in the look he gave me, and I failed at stifling my giggle just before he succeeded in yanking them and my underwear off me. My giggle turned into a loud moan when he pulled me to the very edge of the seat and pressed his face against my bare sex.
“Lucas,” I breathed, and gripped at his hair, needing something to hold on to.
His fingers and tongue moved relentlessly against me, teasing and torturing, slowly and breathtakingly fast. When those dark eyes met mine, I couldn’t look away. Completely transfixed, I watched as he devoured me, forcing moans and whimpers from my throat.
The heat that swirled through my belly intensified, and my core tightened. I dropped my head back onto the seat and tightened my grip in his hair, eager for the blissful death awaiting me, crying out when he suddenly nipped me and then replaced the same spot with his tongue again. I shattered into a trembling mess as pleasure surged through my body, over and over again.
His mouth moved in a broken trail of faint kisses over my hip and up my stomach, ending just under the swell of my breast. “Wait here,” he said gruffly, then opened the car door.
I opened my eyes to see the garage just past Lucas outside the car door, then looked at the range of emotions passing over his face. Want, excitement, lust, worry, fear, worry, worry, worry.
Before I could ask, he was out of the car and rounding the door to talk to the driver. His voice was too low for me to know what he said, but it was in that terrifying tone that always worried me about what would come next.
Within seconds he was back and holding his hand out to me. “Come here, Blackbird.”
“I’m not dre—”
“He won’t be looking,” he assured me darkly.
Heat rushed to my cheeks when I took Lucas’s hand as I thought about what the driver had heard—I wouldn’t be able to face him again. My feet hardly touched the ground. As soon as my toes hit the cool garage floor, Lucas scooped me into his arms and carried me into the house, keeping his back to the driver as much as possible.
His mouth fused to mine once we were inside the house, and I waited for the incline of the stairs, but it never came. Soon I was being lowered onto a bed in a room I had never seen, Lucas’s body following mine so he was hovering over me.
“If you’re going to stop me, you need to do it now,” he murmured as he quickly trailed down my stomach with his mouth.
“Everything,” I reminded him.
“More?” he asked darkly.
“Yes,” I hissed when he nipped at my hipbone then placed a soft kiss there.
His weight left my body, and I watched in fascination as he slowly removed his clothes, his sin-filled eyes on me the entire time. He seemed to be waiting for the panic to set in and for me to decide I couldn’t do this.
The panic was there, but so was my need for him, and it was greater. And even after everything we had been through, after every horrible day with him, there was no fear for tonight. Because the days that had come after—that had come from Lucas—had been tender, and I knew this would come from that same place.
I crawled to the center of the bed when he knelt on it, and reached out to cup my hand around the back of his neck when he settled between my legs. One of his hands ran up my leg to grip my hip, and I bit down on my bottom lip to hold back a whimper when I felt his erection press against me.
“You are beautiful, my blackbird.”
My heart stuttered at his words. At his intense way of claiming me.
I gripped the comforter below me and moved restlessly when he teased my entrance with just the tip of his length, aching to get closer to him. Just when I thought I would go out of my mind, he slid slowly into me, filling me in a way that left me breathless.
Using the hand at his neck, I pulled him closer when he began moving inside me. His face was just inches from mine, his dark eyes burning with passion and his hands gripping me tightly, as if he was afraid to let me go.
So different than I’d ever had before. So passionate. More than I could have ever expected or wanted from him.
He passed his lips over mine, then dropped his forehead so it r
ested against my own when his pace quickened. Each roll of his hips had the warmth in my belly growing hotter and tightening until I was close to bursting. My breaths hitched and my feet dug into the bed as it got closer . . . closer . . .
“No,” I yelled on a whisper when his body completely left mine.
Lucas’s chest and shoulders were moving with exaggerated breaths. His arms were vibrating like he was anxious for something while my body was quivering with the need for him to come back to me. He grabbed my hands in his and placed soft kisses on each of my wrists, then intertwined our fingers as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Show me, Briar . . .”
I looked up in time to see his passionate stare darken, but my question died in a soundless cry when he slammed my arms out to my sides and drove back into me. The muscles in his arms tensed and flexed with his rough movements, his fingers dug into my hands where they were pressed firmly against the comforter.
I came with a breathy moan seconds later, my back arched off the bed and my hands clinging to his, as I tried to hold on to the reality that the force of all that was Lucas had blurred.
His head dipped, and pain shot through my body when he bit down on my nipple, prolonging my orgasm. My breaths were ragged and loud in the otherwise silent room, and just when I started to come off the high, another bite sent me spiraling through it again. The orgasm never seemed to end, and suddenly my body was rebelling against it. I wanted it to end—but I never wanted this to end.
Pain and pleasure, I wasn’t sure I could distinguish them anymore, and I wasn’t sure I wanted one without the other . . .
An agitated scream tore from my chest and I fought against his hold when another flash of pain shot to my core. Too much, too much, too much. I couldn’t handle more. If he weren’t gripping me so tightly I was sure I would fall into some abyss and never find my way back.
“There you are, Blackbird.” His voice was filled with reverence as I continued to fight to get away from the never-ending torrent of pleasure.
“Please,” I whimpered, “I can’t . . .”
He chuckled darkly against my breast, but his grip on my hands left and he pushed away until he was on his knees again. I groaned in protest when he pulled me off the bed and onto his lap and exhaled roughly when he pushed inside me again.