I cried out in pain, but the cry ended with a soft moan when his fingers trailed over a part of me I thought only one man would ever see again.
“No,” I said breathlessly, but my whimpers and moans and the way I pulled him closer begged for so many things that I hadn’t voiced, and not one of them was for him to stop.
Because there had been pain, and I had wanted to get away from him. But heat was pooling low in my belly, and some traitorous part of me wanted this feeling to continue more than I wanted my next breath.
I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling.
“More.”
It took too long to realize that word had left my lips. I shook my head, trying to force that small piece from my mind, and I tried to twist away from him as his fingers began teasing me, but his body between my legs didn’t allow me to get far. “Please . . . please stop. St—” Another moan tumbled from my mouth and was followed by the slightest, most invigorating tug on my hair.
Shame filled me and my head shook as much as his tight hold would allow. My mind and my body were completely at war with each other. In my mind I was screaming at him to stop touching me, but the throaty sounds coming from me matched the way I was trying to get closer to his hand . . . not my thoughts.
My core tightened and another plea for more caught in my throat.
How can I want this so much?
Guilt tore through my chest.
Why am I not pushing him away?
I clutched his shirt tighter in my hand when he slid a finger inside me.
God, yes . . .
Then Kyle’s face slipped through everything going on inside my mind. Guilt and shame overwhelmed me, threatening to choke me.
Kyle. Oh my God, what am I doing?
I was letting another man touch me. A man who I wanted to continue touching me just as badly as I wanted him to rot in hell.
It felt like I was going insane.
I wrenched my eyes open to find the devil’s face just above mine. In movements too fast for him to stop, I shoved him back with one hand and slapped his face as hard as I could with the other while I screamed, “I said stop!”
He grabbed both hands before I could make another move and slammed them onto the bed as I continued to yell, “You have no right to touch me.”
“I own you, Briar!”
I gathered what little saliva was in my mouth and spit in his face, regretting it instantly when his dark eyes turned murderous. But he didn’t move, and he didn’t speak again.
“You don’t, and you won’t,” I gritted out when nearly a minute had passed.
Each ragged breath that we took forced our chests to brush against the other’s and reminded me that my body was still betraying me—that I still wanted his touch.
But with each brush of his chest, and with each craving for more that rushed through me, I told myself over and over again it was all a lie. That it was nothing more than what should have been an anticipated phase from being stuck in that house with the man who bought me after I’d been kidnapped.
“This is all a process to get me comfortable around you,” I mumbled, throwing his words back at him, and I hated how weak and defeated I sounded while doing it. “It isn’t about sex. And yet . . .”
His face went void of all emotion, even his dark eyes looked bored. After a minute of studying me and steadying his breaths, he said, “And yet, I still own you.”
A sharp pang hit my chest at his callousness after the chaos he’d just created inside me. “I hate you.” The words slid out easily, and I refused to regret them.
But seconds ticked by without a response from the devil, and eventually he released me and got off the bed. A moment later he laid the comforter over my body then walked from the room.
Chapter 12
Day 19 with Blackbird
Lucas
“I hate you.”
That weak, broken voice sounded in my mind again and again. The adrenaline coursing through my body grew, mixing with my own hate and the need to have the girl in that room until it became too much. A growl ripped from my throat, and I lashed out, punching the wall closest to me. I stumbled back to the opposite wall in the hallway and gripped at my hair with both hands as I forced myself not to move.
Because I wanted to go back upstairs, but not for the reasons I needed to. Not to teach my blackbird the lesson I knew I should be giving her. But because all I’d wanted in that instant after she’d said those three words was to fall to my knees and beg her to forgive me—for so many things. Because I wanted to tell her things that couldn’t be said.
Stupid bastard.
William had said I wasn’t ready.
He’d been right.
Chapter 13
William
Briar
I hadn’t spoken to the devil in the last day and a half, and I hadn’t faced him when he’d brought my food. Then again, he hadn’t tried to talk to me or get me to look at him since that night . . . and that made this all so much worse.
His silence made me wonder and worry about what I would be met with the next time he decided to speak to me, because I was terrified it would be a lesson. But a part of me—that stupid, traitorous part that had craved his touch—worried that if I looked at him, I would see that unnerving composure that revealed nothing.
I just wanted to know that he’d been living with some of the uncertainty and confusion that I was. Wanted to know that that night had affected him as much as it had me.
Flashes of those haunted eyes and his tortured look, and then his calm, indifferent expression, plagued me more than I wanted to admit even to myself.
I owe him nothing. I hate him, I told myself again. But even in my mind the words didn’t hold much weight.
I didn’t know what time of the day it was—as usual—but I usually sang for hours between each meal. And it hadn’t felt nearly long enough when I heard a key in the lock.
The song abruptly died in my throat, and dread filled me as I scrambled to cover myself with the comforter since I still didn’t have any robes.
My breaths were rough as I worried and wondered why he would be coming back so soon, but they stopped altogether when the door clicked shut, and an unfamiliar voice called out, “Hello, First.”
I turned, my hesitation apparent in every slow, calculated move of my body.
An older man I had never seen before walked toward me nearly as slowly as I had turned. Something about him seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it until he was sitting on the edge of my bed. Although his were a pale blue, his eyes had that same cold and terrifying look as the devil’s. His expression suggested he had all the time in the world.
I scooted away from him and pulled the comforter tighter to my body. My skin crawled when he smiled wickedly at my actions.
After long moments of staring at each other, he finally dipped his head to the side. “Truly, you don’t need to fear me. I am only here to see how you are—to check on your progression.” His proper British accent surprised me, and somehow, made him more terrifying. When I still didn’t respond to him, he said, “I can only assume from your expression that Lucas has warned you about me.”
I couldn’t hide my shock or confusion.
Who was Lucas? Was he the devil? And who was the man in front of me that someone as terrible as the devil would warn me about him?
The man gave me a once-over that chilled me to my bones even though I was mostly hidden from his sight. “Your new hair color becomes you, even more so than the original. Lucas made a great choice.”
I was now certain that Lucas was the man who’d bought me, and I rolled his name around in my mind a few times as I thought of him. Devil suited him so much better.
“How do you know?”
“Ah, you do speak.” The man laughed. Something about the sound pushed ice through my veins. “How do I know what?”
“That it looks better than the original.”
“I was here when you had your spell with dehydration.”
/> I didn’t know if I believed him. Everything about him made me not want to trust him, made me not want to be in the room alone with him—but that might have been because he was perfectly comfortable sitting there when it was obvious I was naked under the comforter. “Are you a doctor?” I finally asked.
“No, darling. I’m Lucas’s mentor. My name is William, in case I forgot to mention that before.”
I nodded because I didn’t know what to say and looked around the bedroom until my restless gaze landed on the closed door. I waited, silently pleading for the devil to walk through there.
It surprised me, and I hated that I wanted him there at all, but I would rather the devil than the man sitting on the edge of my bed. And despite the evil that radiated from Lucas and the fear that had so often filled me in his presence, I somehow knew he would keep me safe from William.
“Where is Lucas?”
William’s lips pulled into a sinister grin when he answered. “Work.”
Chapter 14
Day 21 with Briar
Lucas
I straightened my already straight tie, and messed with the cufflinks on my shirt as I watched the city pass by me. The scowl on my face deepened with every mile traveled.
I had a home office for a reason. All the men in this world did. For the first two months, none of us were expected to leave our new girls. I could do everything I do at the office at my house—including this meeting I was supposedly needed for.
My eyes rolled when my phone rang, showing one of the partners’ names on the screen. I lifted it to my ear, and didn’t bother with a greeting. “I should be there in fifteen.”
“Where?”
“The office for the board meeting.”
There was a pause before he said hesitantly, “There are no meetings today. Aren’t you working from home anyway? I was just calling to get your opinion on—”
“No meeting?”
“No . . .”
I thought for only a second before I hissed a curse as my stomach dropped. “Is William in?”
Another pause. “No, he left for—”
I didn’t wait for him to explain. I hung up and yelled for the driver to turn around and go home. I searched for William’s cell number and had the phone back to my ear within seconds. My thumb and forefinger squeezed the bridge of my nose as I silently begged for him to pick up his phone.
“Hello?” a feminine voice answered.
“Who is this?” I demanded.
The woman chuckled. “Do not use that tone with me, Lucas. You do not scare me. I will find a wooden spoon, and we will see who is scared then.”
I blew out a ragged breath and smiled. It was William’s first. “Karina, is he there?”
“No, he’s at work. The old fool forgot his phone,” she said affectionately.
My body went rigid, but I bit back a curse. “Thank you, Karina, I’ll try him there.” As soon as I hung up, I barked, “Drive faster!”
I needed to get back to my blackbird—needed to get to her before he did. Because if he got there first . . .
I didn’t want to think about what might happen.
William alone with Briar would be some of my worst fears coming to life for so many reasons.
My mind raced as I thought about the girl in that room, and my chest tightened with dread as we drove far too slowly.
I shouldn’t have left her alone.
Should’ve never given William this opportunity.
Should’ve never let him trick me this way.
He’d been hounding me every day about how behind Briar was. As if I wasn’t already aware. I’d been worried that he would visit us in a couple weeks if she hadn’t made it out of that starter room.
I hadn’t expected this.
And after what had happened between us the other night, her hate for me was only going to grow . . . and I wouldn’t have anyone to blame but myself.
I never should have touched her that night . . .
As much as the thought of breaking her destroyed me, I knew it was something that had to be done. Just as there was a list of things I had to do when it came to Briar.
Pleasuring her wasn’t on that list.
But I should have known from those first minutes during the auction that it would’ve been inevitable.
My days of trying to ease her into getting comfortable weren’t working. And after the way she’d spoken to me before the women showed up to dye her hair, I knew I needed to teach her a lesson—one I still hadn’t been able to do.
So I’d taken her robes and anything else she could have covered herself with in a last-ditch effort, because I couldn’t continue to give her time.
Time that had run out long before.
The girls were expected to progress faster. She should have been out of that starter room by the end of her second week at the very latest.
But in trying to push her, I had become so enraptured in her perfect body and the longing in her eyes I hadn’t been able to stop myself from kissing the smooth skin of her throat. I hadn’t been able to stop from fisting my hand in her long hair, and then she’d moaned . . .
Those moans and whimpers had fueled my need for a girl I couldn’t have in the way she was making me want her.
The women weren’t allowed any type of pleasure from us for the first year. It made them want more, expect more, and then it made it harder for them to remember that what was between us was only a bond through ownership and not a relationship.
I had known that, but I hadn’t been able to stop. Hadn’t been able to stop from wanting to give her everything . . . only to be reminded how I’d already destroyed it all.
And now a man who made me look like a goddamn saint was with the girl who was terrified of me.
My fingers were twitching by the time we drove into the garage, and I was stepping out of the car before it finished rolling to a stop.
I ran through the garage into the house—and my heart stopped and blood ran cold when I heard loud sobs followed by her screams.
“Briar!”
Chapter 15
Fallen Angel
Briar
“This can be scary at the beginning, I know, but it isn’t the beginning anymore,” William criticized. “You are behind where you should be. Do you want to stay in this room? Do you want to show Lucas that you can’t move on with him? Now stop crying.”
I couldn’t, I hadn’t been able to for some time now.
My head bowed as sobs tormented my body. My arms and shoulders ached, and my right calf was cramping, but I knew he had no plans to release me unless I did what he was asking.
Sometime before—what had seemed like hours, but I knew wasn’t—William had grabbed my arm and forced me across the room to an alcove that I had always thought was a small, unfinished closet. Now I was rethinking the purpose of the space. A metal bar ran the length of the alcove high above me, and after tearing my comforter away, William had stripped off his belt and used it to tie my hands to the bar as I’d screamed and kicked at him.
He had looked at me as if my kicks were nothing more than a kitten pawing at him.
I had been on the balls of my feet ever since to take away the feeling that my arms were about to be ripped from their sockets, but my calves and thighs were shaking and I didn’t know how much longer I could stand like that.
“Stop crying,” William demanded again. “You have to be comfortable naked. You have to be comfortable with him watching you. You can’t cry while he does that. Do you understand?”
I nodded, but my tears fell harder. I could hear the devil’s words in William’s, and I knew William had not lied to me.
William had to be Lucas’s mentor.
The same words, the same demands, the same heartless tone. I found soon that my heart was big enough to hate more than one person.
“You have to look up,” he gritted out, and suddenly he was in front of me, yanking my head up. “You have to make eye contact; you have to be proud; you canno
t be scared. Stop crying!” He released my head, only for the back of his hand to come across my right cheek.
The force of his hit stunned me and made me lose the balance I’d been struggling to maintain on my toes. A sharp cry tore from my chest when it felt like my arms would tear from the sockets—my shoulders bearing all my weight until I could get back on my toes. Blood coated my tongue from where I’d bitten down on my cheek, and I had to fight to catch my breath when my sobs came faster than before.
“I have never had a girl struggle this much, or for this long, with this part of the process,” he said in a bored tone when my cries became steady again.
“I can’t do this,” I sobbed.
“You have to. Stop crying. People stare at themselves in the mirror all the time. Studying their bodies, finding imperfections,” he lectured harshly. “Think of Lucas as that mirror.”
Hard sobs continued to force their way from my chest, and I shook my head quickly. “I—”
William gripped my cheeks roughly in his hand, forcing me to look at him, ignoring the way I tried to jerk away from him when my cheek smarted from the action. “This no longer belongs to you. It belongs to Lucas, and he does what he wants with it. You no longer hide it. Do you understand?”
I couldn’t respond but tried to nod against his firm hold.
He released my face so forcefully it was as if he shoved my head back. But just as fast, his hands were on my breasts, painfully squeezing as he tested their weight and squeezed my nipples.
“No,” I yelled, my voice hoarse as I tried in vain to twist away from his hold. “No, no, stop!”
“These no longer belong to you. They belong to him, and he does what he wants with them. You no longer hide them. Do you understand?”
“Stop touch—”
“I asked you a question, and you will answer me, girl,” he seethed. “When Lucas asks you a question, you answer. You do not make demands.” He paused for only a second before repeating, “Do you understand?”
I nodded numbly as the room filled with my cries. I choked over my tears and thrashed in the alcove when he suddenly cupped my sex, one of his fingers sliding into my folds just as roughly as he’d touched the rest of me.