“Stop!”
“This no long—”
Long ago memories flashed, and I screamed, “Don’t touch me!”
“Briar!”
My head snapped up at the loud boom I would have sworn shook the house, and my heart raced. More tears pricked at my eyes—these different, these from the intense relief that pounded through me.
“Briar!” Lucas yelled again, closer.
William stepped back leisurely to stand silently a few feet away from me, looking at the closed doorway to my room expectantly. He almost seemed bored as he waited.
The devil, however, was anything but bored. His dark eyes were murderous when he charged into the room, but the look fell when he saw me being forced to stand in the alcove.
“Briar,” he whispered, and quickly closed the distance between us. His hands went to my face first then my neck as his eyes searched my face wildly. “Are you okay? It’s going to be okay,” he assured me before I could answer.
“She needed to learn,” William said from behind Lucas, and like a switch had been flipped, the murderous look was back in his eyes.
Lucas wrapped an arm around my waist to lift me off the ground as he untied the belt, and a muscle in his jaw popped while his nostrils flared. “This is too far; this is outside the rules. She’s not yours to fucking touch,” he hissed. His eyes never left my face, but it was clear his words weren’t meant for me.
As soon as my hands were free, I let my arms fall like dead weights around Lucas’s neck, curled my legs around his body, and sobbed against his white button-down shirt.
“It’s okay.” He ran his hand over my hair soothingly while he walked me back across the room. “It’s okay.” William began talking, but Lucas gritted out, “Enough!”
William continued on smugly. “It worked. You are welcome. She’s progressed greatly today if she’s also clinging to you rather than trying to get away.”
When Lucas set me on the bed, his face was frozen in a terrifying mask of rage, and it didn’t fit how gently he cupped my cheek. “Cover yourself.”
I scrambled to pull the sheet over my body and flinched when Lucas turned and punched William in the jaw. Just as William started to stumble away from the force of Lucas’s fist, Lucas grabbed him by the collar and forced him closer until they were face to face.
Other than working his jaw a couple times, William showed no signs of having been hit. His breathing remained calm and face impassive.
Lucas looked as if he was trying to talk himself out of doing it again, or more.
“You do not have the right to touch or teach what is mine,” Lucas snapped.
“Ah ah, I didn’t teach,” William said, attempting a smug grin. “There are rules after all, Lucas. I merely . . . bent her so she would be more willing to comply to you.”
Lucas’s face became unreadable. The dark tension in the room became suffocating as he silently raged.
“If you were anyone less, you know exactly how this would end,” he seethed in a calm, terrifying tone. “Now leave my home and don’t come back unless you’re invited. And if you ever touch Briar, or any of my girls, again, know that I will end this, and it will be with a heartbeat on your door.”
I wasn’t on the receiving end of those threats, but I was shaking from them. Most of the words meant nothing to me—didn’t make sense—but it was his voice and the look in his eyes. Detached, dark, lethal.
He is darkness; he is the devil.
William maintained his aloof expression as he shoved away from Lucas. “I will expect your thanks soon,” he called out as he walked from the room.
My mind was racing, trying to decipher the cryptic threat. “What do you mean, a heartbeat on his door?” I whispered softly when William left.
Lucas paused on his way back to me, continued, and shook his head. “Not today, Briar.”
From some of the horrific images that came to mind, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know, so I didn’t push for him to explain. I just clung to his forearms when he held my face in his hands.
“What did he do to you?”
I shook my head absentmindedly, my gaze drifted to the alcove when I wasn’t able to speak.
He breathed out roughly through his nose, and if I hadn’t been holding on to him so tightly, I might have missed the way his body began vibrating. “How long was he here?”
“I don’t know,” I choked out.
“Blackbird,” he whispered soothingly, “I need to know if he hurt you. I need to know what he did to you.”
My tears came harder as I tried to tell Lucas everything that had happened. Once I’d finished, I choked out, “Why does it matter? He’s your mentor. I could hear you in his words. Your words in his voice.”
Lucas’s body stilled. His dark eyes bored into mine and his head tilted as if he was going to deny it, but he paused for a second and then sighed. “Yes, he’s my mentor, but that doesn’t allow him to be in this house without me, and it will never give him permission to be alone with you. It doesn’t give him permission to touch you. And it matters because what happened today shouldn’t have. Do you understand? I will do everything to make sure no one ever touches what’s mine again.”
I understood. I just wasn’t sure if I responded in any way because I was suddenly at war with myself, questioning my sanity.
My unexpected thought that his touch felt nice and wanted during his explanation left my mind reeling. I told myself to let go of his arms and push away from him.
My fingers betrayed me by gripping tighter.
I looked from his eyes to my hands then back again. The entire time I was internally screaming, reminding myself I was clinging to the devil and needed to get far away—but another part of me shouted that he was also my safety.
No! No, he will never be safe.
But he came for me. He protected me.
I thought of the way his voice twisted with torment when he yelled my name, of the way he looked when he ran into the room: like an avenging angel.
Fallen angel, I automatically corrected myself. Because he is darkness, and he has done worse to me than William. Stop thinking that any good can come from him.
But some disturbed part of me still wanted to fall into his arms, to let him comfort me. My body was aching with the effort it took to keep myself from him, and a harsh breath rushed from my lungs as I continued to fight.
Fight with what I knew of the devil and the angel I was making myself believe I had caught a glimpse of.
Back and forth, back and forth.
He was still cradling my face in his large hands, and I had yet to let go of him. Every now and then he would brush his thumb across my un-bruised cheekbone, and I hated how much I craved those little brushes. But I did.
It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. I felt safer in that moment with Lucas than I had since I’d been stolen from Atlanta. The idea of feeling safety within his arms should terrify me, but the only terror that day had been in William’s presence.
Dark eyes searched mine as he said my name like a question.
The sound of my name from his lips made me tremble with unspoken words that were bursting from that traitorous part of me. Safe, safe, safe.
No!
He is darkness. He is the devil.
My eyes fell to his mouth, and mine opened when my breaths grew heavy.
And I want him.
What is wrong with me?
I looked up when I felt his arms tense and found him staring at my body. Before I could follow his line of sight, his eyes met mine behind those thick, dark lashes, desire and sin swirling there.
Gently enough not to hurt me, but forcefully enough that I couldn’t stop him, he released my face and removed my hands from his arms.
“Where are you going?” I asked without hesitation when he took two steps away from me.
He rubbed at his jaw then shoved his hands into his pockets. Just like that, Lucas was gone and the devil was back. “Leaving. When your time
with William wears off, your hatred of me will return. The only reason you aren’t afraid of me right now is because I’m the lesser of two evils today. You’re safe and will be all right. I won’t take advantage of this time where you think you want me around.”
I pressed my lips firmly together before my lust-hazed mind could spout off something I’d regret.
His eyes dipped to my body. “After lunch you can pick a room.”
I finally glanced down to see that the sheet had pooled around my hips and hurried to cover myself—but he was already gone.
What is happening to me?
Chapter 16
Day 21 with Briar
Lucas
I stormed through the house agitatedly, and by the time I made it to my room on the main floor, I was cursing myself.
I had been about to kiss that mouth of hers that consumed my mind . . . not allowed. Ever.
I had wanted to claim her body but had walked away so she wouldn’t hate me more than she already did. I would undoubtedly destroy another part of her spirit in the coming days, and I had walked away. Stupid bastard.
I turned back toward my bedroom door, knowing I needed to go up to her room again to regain the control that had slipped away. Needed to show William I still had it before he showed up here again to check on us. The fact that he had at all—when it wasn’t allowed—was disastrous. But each time I turned around I saw the crushed hope in her eyes, and I knew I wouldn’t survive seeing them up close.
Yanking at my tie until it was loose, I pulled it over my head and tossed it on the bed, then made quick work of taking off the rest of my clothes when the need for her grew to be too much.
I stepped into the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower, stepping in immediately to let the cold water clear my mind. But nothing could clear my mind of those full lips parting, of the rise and fall of her chest as her breaths grew ragged, of the indecision and want in her eyes, of the perfect way she had looked clinging to me with her breasts exposed.
I changed the temperature of the water until it was too hot, and fisted my erection in my hand, welcoming the assault of all that was Briar. I moved my hand slowly at first as I thought about every part of her body I wanted to explore, then faster when I thought about that mouth. That mouth that could easily bring me to my knees. The need to feel those lips in place of my hand was nearly painful.
I rested my free hand against the shower wall, using it to hold me up as I pumped my hand faster, squeezed harder. A moan built in my chest and her name crawled from my throat. A flash of images flooded my mind, and my hand moved faster still. Briar on her knees with her face pressed to the bed. My hand fisted in her long, dark hair as I drove into her. Her face in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
Over and over again, claiming her, that beautiful face in ecstasy, and doing more for her than I was supposed to—and things I wasn’t allowed to. But God, I needed to. I needed to taste her. I needed to feel her body tremble beneath mine for a reason other than fear. I needed to hear her moans when she came. I needed it all.
I came with a low curse and dropped my head back to face the ceiling. My rough breaths curled the steam from the shower away from my face, and I tried to focus on that, focus on something mundane . . . but my blackbird was there in my mind.
I wanted to know what she was doing to me.
Yes, she was my first girl, but part of training with William had included “dating.” If it could be called that. I had never had a problem with remaining detached from those girls. I’d never wanted to hold or kiss them. I’d never wanted to please them. I’d never wanted to give them anything—I’d never wanted anything from them at all.
One look at Briar’s false bravado, and I’d needed her. A few seconds of watching her sing during an auction, and I’d been gone to her. It had been a mistake to buy her, but I would never be able to give her back.
As the hot water beat down on me, and with that thought in my mind, feelings of déjà vu washed over me. I stilled, struggling to force back memories I couldn’t allow to surface.
Not the same, I told myself. Not the same.
I called my driver and told him to pick up the personal shopper and lunch, then I dressed casually and went into my office. As I had every day since first reading the news article on my blackbird, I pulled up Facebook.
Briar’s profile was public but there wasn’t a reason for me to stay on it for long. I had already gone through it a dozen times before, and it only frustrated me to no end. Her profile picture showed her laughing and looking up at Kyle as she stood in his arms, an engagement ring on display on her left hand.
Throughout her profile, there were pictures showing exactly how loved and loving she had been. Over the weeks those had been hidden by the mass of comments from people praying for her safe return or begging her to come home.
Today, like recent days, I only stayed on her profile long enough to glance at the new comments, then clicked on the link to Kyle’s profile, since he posted every news update I could ever need to read on Briar.
I loathed the guy, but I was thankful he made it easy.
As soon as his profile flashed onto my screen, I noticed it. The large banner photo across his page had changed since yesterday, and the sight stilled me.
He was holding a long, rectangular sheet of construction paper. Painted on it were the words: Until we’re old and gray, and then long after.
I clicked on the picture and realized I was shaking while reading his caption. Come back to me, Briar Rose. I’ll wait for you.
“Goddamn it,” I hissed, shoving away from my desk.
It was probably better that I didn’t look at her updates. There was a reason I wasn’t supposed to look up the girls I bought, and I had learned that reason extremely well upon reading that first news article.
But it was impossible to stop.
If anyone found out I was keeping close tabs on her disappearance, I’d told myself they would understand if they knew she’d been taken by mistake.
The argument had been weak at best, even then.
No one could know I knew about her old life. No one in this world could know I hated myself for doing this to her. If you broke the rules, you were a threat to the way we lived.
We took care of threats.
I had only calmed down marginally by the time my driver arrived with the shopper and food.
I led them upstairs and had the driver leave the food on the kitchen counter and wait for us there as the shopper and I walked into Blackbird’s room.
She was sitting up in bed, covered in the sheet with an expectant look on her face.
“Briar, this woman will be your personal shopper for some time to come,” I explained, and gestured to the woman.
We didn’t learn the names of the people who helped us. They preferred it that way. It kept it impersonal and helped them feel better about taking our money and keeping their mouths shut about what they knew went on in these houses.
“I’m going to need you to stand up so she can take some measurements.”
Briar hesitated, but finally stood. Her eyes anxiously darted to the open door behind me before settling on the woman.
“Drop,” the woman said sternly, and she gestured to the sheet.
That conflicted gaze flitted to me briefly. With a slow, shaky breath out, Briar closed her eyes and dropped the sheet.
“Gorgeous,” the woman said in the same tone. “This will be easy,” she murmured to herself as she went about measuring. “Bodies like this look good in anything.”
“She likes to be covered,” I said gruffly.
The woman stopped writing down a measurement to send me an annoyed glare, and Briar’s eyes flew open.
I gestured to my blackbird and said, “Don’t make her uncomfortable in what you choose for her.” The threat in my words was clear.
The shopper tapped her pencil quickly against her pad of paper once the fear receded from her face. “I can do beautiful and modest. She wi
ll be gorgeous . . . alluring.”
“She already is.”
Briar’s sharp inhale let me know my words had been spoken out loud.
I swallowed a curse and held her surprised stare, daring her to respond to my comment instead of pretending the words had never been vocalized. Because now Briar was looking at me with a mix of surprise and that same indecision from earlier, which only complicated things for us more than my need for her did.
As soon as the shopper took a few steps away from Briar, I broke our eye contact to look pointedly at the sheet on the floor, then held up a hand in a silent command for her to stay as I walked out of the room—leaving the door open.
“I’ll be back tonight with all she needs,” the woman snapped as we walked toward where my driver stood.
“She has nothing. No shoes, under—”
“I know how this works,” she informed me quickly. A knowing smile flashed across her face. “Nothing will be forgotten. Formalwear will take longer, but I’ll put in the requests today.”
I nodded my appreciation. “Until tonight then.” I left them to go back to Briar and forced my expression into a mask of calm when I felt anything but.
She was standing exactly where I had left her with the sheet covering nearly every inch of her.
I stopped just inside the room and crossed my arms over my chest as I studied her thoughtful expression.
“You’re testing me,” she finally murmured.
My false calm was immediately overridden with confusion until I saw her glance at the door again. “No, I told you that you would be picking a room today, which means you will be allowed anywhere on this level on the house.”
“But you just told me to stay.”
And you did, I thought with a surge of relief. I closed the distance between us slowly and uncurled one arm from my body to caress her cheek that was bruised from William’s hand. “I want you comfortable with me, but not other men. My driver was waiting out there.”
Blood rushed to her cheeks and her head dipped in an unsuccessful attempt at hiding her embarrassment.
“Come on, lunch is in the kitchen.”