Then she’d walked up to her apartment only to find someone had kicked the door in and trashed the place. They’d taken a knife to her couch and smashed her TV. The mirror in the entryway was smashed and her plants were all over the floor. She hadn’t thought at all. She’d just called Lucas. Maybe she should have called the cops and left Lucas out of it.
Her hands were shaking. All of Jack’s words were coming back to her now. Was she really so self-destructive? She looked in the mirror. There were dark smudges under her eyes. She hadn’t even bothered to clean herself up. When had she let everything go? Lexi quickly washed her face, trying to forget. She knew the day it had happened. It was burned in her brain, but knowing didn’t seem to stop her. Maybe she did need rehab.
“What the hell? Lexi?” Lucas’s voice rang out. Lexi could hear his panic.
“I’m fine,” she called out.
She took a towel to her face. The bathroom door swung open. Lucas wasn’t a great believer in privacy these days. When had she gone from being a partner to being a burden?
“What are you doing here? Where are the cops? What the hell happened?” Lucas spat the questions out like a rapid-fire pistol, his hands cupping her shoulders. He looked her over as if discerning whether or not she was physically fine.
Lexi let her eyes slide away from his, hoping he didn’t see too much. “I found it like this.”
“And you just decided to hang out? What if they had still been here?”
Lexi heard another voice coming from her living room. This one was deep and authoritative. “Yes, I need someone out here. My girlfriend’s apartment has been broken into.”
“I’m not your girlfriend!” Lexi shouted at Aidan. What was he doing here?
Lucas stood in her way, shaking his head. “That’s not helpful, Lexi.”
“Maybe, but it’s true.” The fact that Aidan was here in her apartment made her a little restless.
Suddenly Aidan was standing in the doorway, his big, muscular body taking up all the space. He was taller than Lucas, but he seemed so much bigger as he stared down at her, a stern frown on his face. She could believe the man in front of her had been a soldier.
“Would you have preferred I announced to the 911 operator that my submissive’s apartment had been robbed? I chose to forgo an explanation of D/s relationships in favor of something she would understand.”
He said it in an even voice that set her teeth on edge. He was calm and collected, cool and attractive, while she looked ghastly from crying and drinking—over him.
“I am not your sub. I am Lucas’s sub.”
Aidan just stood there, an immovable object. “And Lucas belongs to me, according to our contract. He signed over rights to top you. Or are you going to give up your rights to The Club and force Lucas to find someplace new, someplace less safe? Perhaps you can convince him to give up BDSM all together, and he can live a half-life. Is that your choice, Alexis?”
“That was rough,” Lucas muttered under his breath.
Aidan turned slightly toward Lucas. “Yes, I believe I mentioned this would get rough. She won’t have it any other way.”
Lexi pushed away from Lucas. It sounded like the two of them had been talking. She damn straight didn’t like that. “What are the two of you talking about?”
“It means that Lucas and I are of the same mind. It’s far past time you got yourself together.” Aidan held up a small white piece of paper. Lexi’s blood went cold as she realized what it was. “You overpaid, angel. A shot of Patron at The Club only costs twelve dollars. And this is far inferior. Though it looks like you bought in bulk.”
Lucas turned her back around, and his face had flushed, his brows coming together in a V. “You promised me.”
She shook her head. She ignored the way her heart had clenched when Aidan called her angel. That had been his pet name for her. “No, I didn’t. I promised Jack, but it’s not a big deal. I’m fine. Jack is overreacting.”
“Jack is scared for you, and so am I.” Lucas dropped his hands, and his jaw tightened as he turned from her. “I’ll pack a bag for her.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Lexi said as Lucas brushed by Aidan. He didn’t stop, but Aidan moved back into his place, his broad shoulders forming a wall she couldn’t get around.
“Are you going to make this easy on me, Lexi?”
“Not on your life, asshole. You get out of my apartment, and maybe I won’t tell the cops that I think you did this.” Lexi felt overwhelmed. He took up all the space in her tiny bathroom.
“You’re welcome to try. Let me give you the lowdown on how this is going to go. You’re going to be given one of two choices. As always, it’s up to you. You can come back to the ranch with me and spend the next few weeks drying out and dealing with your issues, or Jack is prepared to have you committed to a rehab facility.”
Lexi felt her eyes go wide. “He can’t do that.”
“Oh, I assure you that with your stepfather’s money and Julian’s influence, we can get just about anything done. If you make the wrong choice there is a very nice rehab center in Malibu. You’ll be on a plane tonight, and you won’t see the light of day for twenty-eight days. Lucas will be miserable. Your mother will be heartbroken. Are you willing to be the cause of that?”
She was willing to be the cause of his broken nose, but she doubted that he would take that well. Frustration welled up in Lexi. She took a step back, but stumbled, her balance fleeing in an instant. Before she could hit the tiled floor, Aidan scooped her up in his arms.
“Damn it, Lexi. This is serious. You can’t go on like this. How many?”
“You snooped through my purse.” She didn’t like the way the room was slightly off-kilter, or the way his arms held her so securely. She felt delicate against him. He was so much bigger than he had been. Aidan had been gorgeous before, and the scars had taken some of his beauty, but whatever he had been through had left a solid alpha male in the place of a lovely boy. This new Aidan could prove just as dangerous as the last.
“I just read the amount. With the tab as big as it was, I figured it was more than one. Now, I want to know how many.”
“Three,” she admitted.
“This ends, Lexi. One way or another, this can’t go on.”
“That is not for you to say.” But the words sounded stupid coming out of her mouth. She knew she was on the edge of something really bad. She was hurting the people she loved. She was acting irrationally, but it didn’t matter. She couldn’t tell him he was right. “You can go to hell, Aidan.”
“Already been there, angel. I have the T-shirt to prove it.” There was a little smile on his face, the dimple she’d always loved on display. How had she missed it? His hands tightened on her as though he didn’t want to even contemplate letting her go.
“Lucas won’t let you do this.” Lucas had his own money and his own connections. They were nothing like Jack and Julian’s, but he would fight for her. The thought crossed her head that maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe he would be fighting for her by laying down his arms. Maybe he should force her into a situation where she had to face her problems. She didn’t seem capable of doing it on her own. She hadn’t even really wanted the tequila. She’d just wanted to shoot everyone the finger.
Aidan’s mouth turned down. “Don’t do this to him. I’m begging you, Lex. Don’t make him choose. It will kill him.”
It would. Lucas had already made hard choices for her. He’d kept her secret even though she knew it had cost him. Ever since that terrible day in the hospital after her accident, Lucas had been lying to everyone around him. And she’d seen this man who was her best friend, her soul mate, die a little every day because Lucas wouldn’t let her down. She, on the other hand, had been dragging Lucas down ever since that day. She was on the ledge, and all Lucas could do was jump with her. What if Aidan could pull them both back?
And yet she couldn’t lie down.
“Fuck you.”
He started to walk out of the b
athroom with her nestled in his arms. “Oh, angel, I assure you, that will happen.”
Lexi felt her pulse jump. “Let me down.”
Her feet thudded to the floor. Aidan didn’t let go until she was balanced. She settled on the carpet, hating the fact that she was cold without the heat of his body against her.
“We’ll stop by The Club before we leave.” Aidan looked down at his watch. “It’s only nine-thirty. We can be in Deer Run by one.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she said, stubbornness settling over her like a warm blanket.
His eyes narrowed to strips of deep brown. “I’ll be on the plane to California with you, and I’ll be waiting when you get out. I know I walked on you once, Lexi, but I won’t do that again. I’m here, and I’m going to be here as long as you need me.”
Fine words and ones she’d once prayed she’d hear. But she couldn’t trust him. Not again. “I don’t need you.”
His arms crossed over his ridiculously muscular chest. She couldn’t help but remember how defined that chest had been. “You need me. Lucas needs me. And god knows I need the two of you. This is the way it’s going to be, angel. I’m the Dom, you and Lucas are the subs. We’re going to my ranch, and we’re spending the month there.”
She laughed out loud. “Not going to happen. I have a job, you idiot.”
“Take a sabbatical. This is too important, Lexi. Everyone who gives a damn about you has signed off on this plan. Do you really want to let them down?”
“I’m not going to do something just because you say I should.” How dare he? Lexi found herself getting in his space, puffing herself up. She wished she hadn’t worn flats because she was way too short to do what she wanted to do, which was to spit in his eye. He wanted to put her in a corner? He would find out that she fought her way out. “And don’t you try to guilt me into anything, you motherfucker.”
“No, I can proudly proclaim I never did that. Now, I have fucked a guy. It was amazing, and I wouldn’t take it back for the world. He’s the love of my life, along with an incredibly obnoxious raven-haired beauty. They’re my whole fucking world.”
He wasn’t winning her back with praise. “Good for whoever. I don’t care, Aidan. I’m not leaving Dallas. Call whoever you want. I’m staying here. You can have fun in Deer Run, and if Lucas wants to go with you, good for him.”
The thought of Lucas leaving her tore her heart out. She would be alone. For the last two years, Lucas had been her heart. What the hell would she do if he gave up on her?
“So stubborn. It won’t come to that. I love you enough to piss you off, Lexi. I’m back. I’m so sorry I left, but I won’t leave again. I’m in control. You can relax because I won’t let you fall, angel. I’m here for you and Lucas. I’m strong enough for all of us. Lucas can do what he does best. He can make our lives easy. You can be the creative, crazy, talented woman you are, because I’ll take care of the big stuff, and Lucas will take care of the little stuff. You’re free, Lexi. You’re surrounded by the men who love you.”
But she wasn’t surrounded by all of her men. One of her men wasn’t here, and he never would be. The day of the accident swept across her brain like a wasp itching to sting. She wouldn’t think about it. Damn it, she would not think about him. Tears filled her eyes, and she had to get out of here. She couldn’t stand here with Aidan. She couldn’t stand here when Aidan didn’t even know what they had lost. She pushed past him and ran for the door.
She flung it open as she heard Lucas call her name. It was followed by Aidan barking at her. She didn’t care. It only mattered that she got the hell out of there before she flung herself at Aidan and confessed every secret she had. He didn’t deserve to know what had happened. He’d left, and she’d been alone with only Lucas to count on. Lucas had been there during the worst time of her life. Lucas had been the only person in the world she’d told what had happened to her. Lucas had kept her secret even though he thought she should have told her mother. Her heart picked up double-time at the thought of her mother finding out the secret she’d held so close to her heart. She didn’t want her mother finding out just how weak she’d been.
Lexi started toward the stairs, stumbling as she reached into her pocket for the keys to her car. She had no right to drive, but it didn’t matter. If she went out in a blaze of glory then maybe she could see…
Lexi stopped her forward progress. Had she really thought that? Had she really thought about dying?
Then it didn’t matter because a crack split the air, and she fell back as the blood began to flow.
Chapter Eight
Aidan heard the sound, knew exactly what it was, and panicked. His mind immediately went to another place. He could smell the scent of gun oil and feel the street under his boots. Fallujah. Watch your step. Mines everywhere. He could feel the buildings shaking from the bombs dropping. He would hear the sound, and then the dark sky would light up briefly as the world shook. The dark of the night was punctuated with the little staccato rhythm of high-powered rifles banging through the air. He could see them going off all around him. At first they looked a little like the fireflies that lit up the night by the pond on his ranch.
God, he was so fucking scared. Why wouldn’t the dog stop barking? He was on the ground dying, and the dog just kept barking.
“What was that?” Lucas’s voice pulled Aidan out of his memory. “Are you okay?”
Aidan was sweating and shaking, and for a moment he had been back in that hellhole looking up at the sky, just knowing it was the last time. What had happened? Gunshot. He’d heard a gunshot.
“Did a car backfire?” Lucas asked, looking around. “Where’s Lexi?”
Aidan ran for the front door. That hadn’t been a car backfiring. He knew the difference. Someone was shooting, and Lexi had stubbornly walked outside. Aidan hadn’t thought a lot of it. She’d needed a bit of space because he’d pushed her, but then he’d heard that sound.
“Lexi?” Lucas shouted her name. Aidan could feel him following right behind.
She was crumpled on the ground outside of her first floor apartment. Aidan felt his heart threaten to burst. He went down on his knees and gathered her into his arms.
“It hurts like a motherfucker,” Lexi said, holding her arm. She turned her face up to Aidan. “I think someone shot me. Why do people always try to kill me? I’m a nice person. I give money to starving babies and properly tip my hairdresser. Why am I the one everyone tries to kill?”
“Where are you hit?” Lucas asked. He knelt in front of them both. Aidan could see what he was doing. He was shielding her with his own body.
“It’s just my arm. It’s nothing big, just a scratch.”
“Come on,” Aidan said, lifting her up. He needed to get them both inside where he could protect them.
The night cracked around him again, and Aidan ducked, covering Lexi and trying to pull Lucas down, too.
“Son of a bitch,” Lucas yelled, and he took off.
Aidan watched in openmouthed horror as Lucas ran towards the tree line of a nearby park.
“Lucas, get your ass back here!” Aidan moved quickly. He hoisted Lexi up and had her inside the house as quickly as his limbs would move. He settled her on the couch and handed her his phone. “Call an ambulance. And tell the cops your break-in just got worse.”
Lexi tried to get up. She winced as she moved her arm, but her eyes were wide with panic. “But Lucas is out there.”
“Yes, and I’m going to get him.” He was painfully aware that he hadn’t heard anything else. There had been no third shot, but that didn’t mean he was going to calm down. Aidan couldn’t calm down until Lucas was safe and over his fucking knee getting the living daylights spanked out of him.
Aidan wished he had a gun. During the time he was in the Army, he’d gotten used to the feel of a gun in his hand. On the ranch, he never went without one. It made him feel safer, but Julian didn’t allow them in The Club. He knew he should take stock of the situation, b
ut Lucas was out there and having god knew what done to him. He didn’t have time if he wanted to save Lucas. He took off running toward the park. He stayed close to the building at first, but then there was no cover to be had. Aidan simply ran. The moonlight illuminated the night, and he saw a shadowy figure standing next to one of the largest of the trees at the edge of the small park.
Lucas turned his face to Aidan. He was pale in the moonlight. He pointed to the cigarette butts on the ground around him. “At least we know he smokes.”
Aidan reached out and grabbed Lucas’s arm. He started back toward the apartment building. He could hear sirens in the distance. At least the impending arrival of the police should scare off whoever had shot at Lexi.
“Hey,” Lucas protested and dug his heels in.
Aidan turned. “Don’t. Don’t you fucking try me right now, Lucas. I’ve been through enough that I’m seriously thinking about starting your punishment right now, and if you keep on pushing me, we’ll be in the middle of the spanking of a lifetime just about when the cops get here. Do you really want that?”
Lucas stared at him for a moment, but when Aidan started to walk again, he went along with it.
Two hours later, Aidan was beginning to calm down. Lexi’s left arm had been grazed. The paramedic had taken care of her, cleaning and dressing the wound and flirting outrageously with her to the point that Aidan had been forced to stare the man down. She hadn’t needed to go to the hospital, which was a damn good thing since Aidan wasn’t about to let her ride alone with the handsome paramedic.