Lucas couldn’t confirm or deny Jack’s suspicions. He’d been sworn to silence. And he wasn’t sure Lexi could handle being confronted with the truth right now. “I never should have left her alone.”
Jack shook his head. “Lucas, you can’t be with her twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I meant what I said. I would love for you and Lexi to get married, but I don’t think it can work unless you two deal with him.”
Lucas took another drink. Now that he was calm, he knew his brother had his best interests at heart. He just didn’t always go about serving those interests in the way Lucas would prefer. “Is that why you brought him back?”
Jack’s lips quirked up slightly. “I didn’t go looking for him, Lucas. He came to me. He’d been discharged from the Army.”
Lucas had to take a long, deep breath. Aidan had gone into the Army? Aidan had obviously seen some combat. God, he couldn’t imagine fun-loving, creative, playful Aidan with a gun in his hand. Aidan had always been very alpha male, but he’d preferred his music over anything else. Why had he done that?
Guilt gnawed at Lucas as he decided he knew the reason. Aidan had escaped. He’d needed to prove he was still a “man” after the night he’d spent with Lucas. That one night seemed to have ruined a lot of lives.
“Lucas, I think you need to talk to him,” Jack said slowly, as though he wanted the words to permeate Lucas’s thick brain.
Lucas nodded. He did need to talk to Aidan. Lexi could probably use some closure, too. “I get that, but don’t you think that maybe Leo’s office would have been a better place for a therapy session?”
Now his brother smiled outright. “Hell, no. I think, in this case, a scene was the only way to go. Did Aidan fuck up? He wasn’t supposed to tell you who he was until you were comfortable with him again.”
“He has a scar over his left eye. His mask slipped.”
“Yeah, it’s the little things that trip you up.”
“I’m still pissed at you.” Hearing Jack say he was all right with him marrying Lexi went a long way to mending the fence, but they still had some problems. “You should have told me.”
“Yeah, because then you would have been totally reasonable about it. Neither one of you has said his name in years, and yet he’s always there between you. I could plead his case for him, but in the end, you need to talk to him.” Jack leaned forward, his face serious in the low light. “Look at me, Lucas. I love you, brother, and I love Lexi. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it was important. I wouldn’t allow him close to my family again unless I was damn certain that boy had changed. I believe in him. You need to make that decision for yourself, though. But you think about it. I believe in you, too. I’m a damn good judge of character, and I don’t hand out second chances like they were candy. I gave you a second chance, and I’ve never regretted it. I never will. You talk to him, and maybe you can come to the same conclusion that I did.”
“What’s that, Jack?”
“That life is far too short to waste on grudges. Love does not come along often. When it does, you can’t throw it away because it isn’t perfect.”
Lucas felt his fists clench. “That was what Aidan did.”
“I know. He knows. Don’t make his mistake. You and Lexi are an awful lot like me and Sam. You two are halves of a whole. I knew it the minute I saw you two together. You’re too alike. Just like me and Sam. If Abigail hadn’t come along, we would have gone on, but we wouldn’t have been complete. We wouldn’t have found the love that was always there. Abby made that possible. I believe Aidan can do that for you and Lexi. Tell me something. Was he selfish tonight? Did he use the two of you?”
“No. He brought us together.” But he could have. Aidan could have ordered them to pleasure him, and they would have. He and Lexi had both been under his spell from the moment he took charge. He’d called Lucas his partner when he didn’t have to. Lucas had signed up to bottom for him. Aidan could have shoved him to the side and taken Lexi for himself. Yet, he’d given Lucas his fantasy.
“He loves you.”
“He told Lexi he loved her, too. He left her.” Lucas didn’t like the way he was already softening. He was already feeling the need to talk to Aidan. Why couldn’t he be a ruthless bastard? Why couldn’t he be cold? Aidan had walked out on them, but was Lucas able to turn away without a second thought? Fuck no. He was sitting here, wondering what had happened and how Aidan had felt when he’d been injured. Had he been alone? Had he been scared?
Fuck.
“Talk to him.” Jack stood, and he held out his hand, pulling Lucas up and enveloping him in the type of bone-cracking, backslapping bear hug Lucas had missed for the first twenty-three years of his life. Lucas gave in. He couldn’t withhold his affection from the man who had given him his new life. Without Jackson Barnes, he wouldn’t have become a lawyer. He wouldn’t have met Lexi. He wouldn’t be a man.
He was going to have to talk to Aidan.
“You’re an asshole,” he said as he finally pulled away.
Jack grinned. “You know, I get that a lot. Good luck, Lucas. I’m heading home. I have to talk to Abby before she hears the story from someone else. I might be sleeping in the barn for a week or two. If you need anything, just call. At least Sam will still be able to answer the phone. There are a lot of nice things about sharing a woman. One of us is usually in good with the wife. Good night, Lucas.”
The door closed behind Jack. Lucas picked up his shirt and shrugged into it. He couldn’t help but look in the mirror. He could still see hints of that scared, desperate boy who had first walked into this club all those years before. Lucas had walked in to blackmail his brother, but what he’d found was something like salvation. Was that how Aidan had felt when he walked through the doors?
Jack was right. If anyone understood the value of a second chance, it was Lucas Cameron. He was just going to make damn sure Aidan O’Malley deserved one.
Chapter Seven
Aidan toyed with the beer in front of him. He knew he should be packing and getting ready to go home. He had his answer, but he sat at the bar, unable to force himself to leave. He heard people whispering all around him. It didn’t matter. He’d fucked everything up, again.
Leo had tried to talk to him. He’d growled enough that Leo had finally given up. The last thing Aidan wanted was a coaching session.
What exactly had he thought would happen? Had he thought they would just be okay with him walking back into their lives? And he hadn’t exactly walked. He’d ordered and spanked his way back in. He’d deceived his way back in. But, damn it, it had seemed like the only way to do it. If he didn’t know deep in his heart that he was the best thing in the world for them, he would sacrifice and walk away. He’d been half afraid he’d look them back up and find they were married and happy without him.
Aidan wasn’t going to give up. Deception hadn’t worked. He didn’t like to think of it that way. He liked to think of it as easing back in. Well, easing back in had blown up in his face. He needed a new plan because this was the most important thing in his life. He wasn’t about to give up now.
His cell phone vibrated. He pulled it out, half hoping it was Lexi calling to scream at him. He’d listen to her. He’d let her rage at him just so he could hear her voice. He would have let Lucas beat on him just to feel his hands again. Aidan groaned as he saw the number. His brother.
“What?”
There was a momentary pause. “Well, ain’t that typical. You leave me with all the work and then act like I’m the one in trouble.”
And it was just like his brother to try to turn everything around. “Look, Bo, I’ve already talked to Dwight. He said you were busy causing trouble.”
“What? Motherfucker. He ain’t even here, Aidan. He left the ranch early this afternoon.”
That wasn’t what Dwight had said. Bo wasn’t exactly known for his honesty. “And just where did he take off to?”
His brother huffed over the phone. “I don’t know. It’s
not like he tells me anything. He’s a fucking asshole.”
Bo pretty much thought everyone was a fucking asshole. Aidan felt unaccountably tired. “Was there something you wanted, Bo?”
“There are a lot of things I want, brother, but I’m not getting them, am I? I called because I thought you should know something, but now I think you deserve everything you have coming your way. Go to hell.”
The connection was cut with a brutal click. Aidan let the phone fall from his hands, not caring when it fell to the floor. It didn’t matter. If it rang again, it would just be one more person who wanted to tell him what a failure he was.
Aidan closed his eyes and shut out the world. Music, sad and sweet, flowed through his brain. Just because he couldn’t play anymore didn’t mean he didn’t write in his head. He heard a single guitar, plucking gently, the sound as lonely as he felt.
He could see the song in his head, but none of it mattered since the people he’d wanted to play for were gone.
“How about some water, Bill? I think I can handle this particular confrontation without liquor.”
Aidan’s eyes flew open because he knew the sound of that voice, deep and always with a hint of sarcasm, like the owner never took the world too seriously. It was deceptive, that voice, because Aidan happened to know that Lucas Cameron took everything he loved with an almost worshipful reverence. Lucas Cameron knew how to love.
But Aidan had the distinct feeling he might find out Lucas Cameron didn’t love him anymore.
He took a long drink. Lucas might not need liquid courage, but Aidan sure as hell did.
“Why?” Lucas asked the question without inflection, as though the actual answer was meaningless to him.
Lucas didn’t look at him. He kept his expression bland as he faced forward, but Aidan couldn’t help but stare. Lucas was lovely to him now. He’d fought the attraction before because it had seemed the final nail in the coffin of some perfect, vanilla life he had planned. Now Aidan just let himself stare. Lucas was a testament to masculine beauty. His pitch black hair fell over his forehead, tumbling almost over his eyes. In the past, Lucas had kept it shorter, but Lexi had always begged him to let it grow out. It looked damn good on him. Aidan wanted to reach out, but he had some explaining to do first.
“Why am I here?”
Lucas sighed softly. “We can start there.”
“I came back because I love you and Lexi. I came back because I need you so fucking much.”
“And you decided this when?” There it was, that sarcastic edge. Lucas was good at putting on fronts.
Aidan needed to get past the mask. Honesty was his only weapon. “The day I almost lost my legs.”
Lucas turned, and his eyes flared with shock. Aidan was almost certain he saw concern there. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Aidan said quietly. “It’s all a jumble. I was with my squad. We were on a security detail. We started taking some heavy fire. I know this from the report that was filed by a friend of mine. We were the only ones who survived. I woke up in a field hospital, and they told me I wouldn’t walk again. And I realized as I was lying in that bed that it wasn’t the worst day of my life.”
Those emerald eyes of Lucas’s shimmered slightly with unshed tears. “Don’t you fucking say it.”
“The worst day of my life was the day I walked out on you and Lexi.”
Lucas slammed off the stool. “Fuck you, Aidan.”
Aidan watched as Lucas stormed off. He was patient. If Lucas wanted to fume for a while, that was perfectly acceptable because at least he was having an emotion. He’d seen it in Lucas’s eyes. He’d been moved, and it wasn’t all anger. Julian and Leo had spent hours and hours the last several months teaching Aidan how to read body language. Lucas’s entire body was bunched up. He was one huge ball of emotion. Aidan could see it plainly. Anger was at the forefront, but there was more there.
Lucas made it to the door that led back to the hotel section of The Club before turning on his heels and stalking back.
“You think you can waltz back in here and give me some sob story, and I’ll just fall down on my knees and be grateful you’re back?”
“No.” Let him get it all out. Aidan knew he deserved it. “I know I have a lot to make up for.”
“You can’t make up for it. You can’t. You left us. You’re the one who turned away. You joined the Army? What is wrong with you? I respect anyone who wants to serve this country, but you’re not a soldier, Aidan. You’re a fucking musician.”
Aidan held his hand up. “Not anymore.”
Lucas swallowed whatever he was about to say. He reached out and grabbed Aidan’s hand. It was his left hand. It was missing two fingers, but only his middle finger and thumb still had any real agility. He’d joked with the doctors that at least he could hitch a ride and flip someone off, but he would never play guitar again. The muscles in his hand still worked, but they were far too stiff to play with any accuracy or real rhythm.
“Was it worth it? Did it make you forget what happened?”
Aidan forced himself to smile. Arguing with Lucas would get him nowhere. “No. Like I said, I woke up in that bed, and all I wanted was the two of you. I called.”
Lucas’s face went white. “I know. You think I’m not feeling that right now? You called, and I hung up on you.”
Aidan finally did what he’d wanted to do for years. He cupped Lucas’s face and let himself feel that skin against his hand. “I deserved it. I would have hung up on me, too.”
Lucas pulled away, but not after his eyes had closed slightly as though he reveled in the contact. He took a step back, those emerald eyes hooding as he looked down. Aidan had put a shirt on, but he knew Lucas was remembering the scars on his body.
“I should have…it doesn’t matter now, Aidan. I need to understand why you’re here and what you want. I need to know why you didn’t just talk to me. That whole deception out there in the dungeon doesn’t help your case.”
Aidan eased back onto his barstool. “I think it does. Look Lucas, I know the lifestyle you’ve always wanted. You want a ménage, and you want a Dom.”
A bitter little huff came out of Lucas’s mouth. “Yes, I believe I mentioned that before. That conversation didn’t go well.”
“I know. I was an ass. I didn’t really get it. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed our night together. God, the word enjoy cheapens it. I loved it. It was the closest I’ve ever felt to anyone, but it was counter to everything I’d been taught. I understand more now. I get it.”
“Just like that?” Lucas held his hands out, obviously waiting for a much better explanation.
“Fuck, no. Not just like that. I had to go through a lot to get here, but I did it, and I’m standing and walking because I love you and Lexi. I’m not going anywhere, Lucas. I’ll be here at this club every day until you listen to me. I’ll let everything else go, the ranch, my brother, my friends, none of it matters if I can’t prove to you and Lexi that I am the man for you.”
“It’s going to take something more than you lying to me.”
Aidan sat forward, unwilling to take on that sin. “I didn’t lie. I followed every rule and code of conduct this club has. I trained and was approved by both the Dom in residence and the owner. I’ve spent countless hours training.”
“I bet you did. That must have been fun.”
That little lurid huff in his voice got Aidan’s back up. “No, sub, it wasn’t fun. You will respect me while we’re in this club. Or have you forgotten the contract you signed?”
“I signed that contract under false pretenses. I would never have signed a contract with you, Aidan.”
“Nevertheless, you signed it, and you owe me the respect you would give any Dom. As for having fun, I suspect you’re accusing me of cheating on you and Lexi. I haven’t put my dick in anyone the entire time we’ve been apart. Can you say the same?”
Lucas’s eyes came up. “Are you kidding me?”
“I have be
en utterly faithful, even when I was walking away.”
“I don’t understand you.” Lucas scrubbed a hand through his hair, his frustration easy to read.
“You will. Just give me a chance.”
Lucas’s cell phone trilled. He pulled it out. “Lexi.” He turned away, leaving Aidan feeling left out. When he finally turned back there was a stricken look on his face. “Lexi was supposed to go up to our suite.”
Aidan knew exactly what was coming. Lexi had always been a hellcat. She’d never taken anything lying down. “She left, I take it?”
Lucas nodded. “She went home, but someone broke in. She says it’s bad.”
Aidan popped off the barstool. This he could handle. “Then we should go get her and bring her back to where she’s supposed to be.”
Lucas sighed. “It’s not that easy with Lexi.”
Aidan felt his blood start to pump again. Lucas was the one he had to play slow and easy. Lexi was a different type altogether. They had always been fiery. Lexi liked to yell and fight, and submit as sweet as a kitten when he’d finally won the battle. “That’s what I like about it, Lucas. And she will do what I say in the end. I promise you.”
Aidan could have sworn Lucas breathed a sigh of relief as they started for the parking garage.
* * * *
Lexi kicked at her sofa. It was in utter ruins. It was the perfectly awful end to a perfectly awful day. And now her damn head was pounding. Fuck. She shouldn’t have called Lucas, but it had been instinctive. Something bad had happened, and she pulled Lucas in.
Lucas was going to kill her. She went into the bathroom and quickly brushed her teeth. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. She’d only had three shots of tequila. She’d been so pissed off at her stepfather and Aidan and Julian. Even Leo had been in on it. She’d meant to go up to the suite, but she just hadn’t been able to force herself inside. Aidan was obviously staying in The Club, and he probably had the damn key to the place. He seemed to have taken over everything else. The last thing she’d wanted was another confrontation with him. She’d gotten dressed and walked out of The Club. Her anger had been brewing, simmering just below the surface. Her stepfather’s accusations had really pissed her off. She’d decided to show him. She was an adult, not some kid. If she wanted a drink, she could have one. So she’d stopped at a bar across the street from The Club before hopping on the Blue Line and heading home.