“Oh God.” That was her voice crying out. “Yes!”
It felt so good it nearly hurt. He pounded into her, not giving her time to process all the wonderful sensations. He adjusted his pelvis just enough that his lower belly made contact with her clit, rubbing against her there too, and she climaxed. The white haze threatened to make her lose consciousness, her mind blown.
He rode her harder, faster, and groaned her name. She knew when he came. He seized over her, the entire mattress shaking from the force of his quaking body, and she actually felt his semen shooting inside her. It was warm. He didn’t pull out but instead drove into her deep and stayed there.
Long minutes passed as she recovered and the sound of their heavy breathing finally penetrated. She opened her eyes, staring at Lorn. His eyes were closed, his fangs extended. A fine sheen of sweat coated his skin. It was the sexiest he’d ever looked. His mouth was slightly parted and she wanted to kiss him.
She resisted blurting out that she loved him, afraid it would ruin the moment. But the need to say something, anything, persisted. She finally settled on something safe. “You didn’t bite me.”
His eyes snapped open and the glow in them had faded. “I wanted to.” He closed his eyes and turned his head, lowering it slightly. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“It should have been slower and better for you.”
“I am not complaining. Look at me.”
He refused. “I should eat.”
He started to withdraw from her body, his cock still semi-hard. She tightened her legs, not willing to let him go just yet. He looked at her then, frowning.
“Don’t pull away from me.”
“I’m going to fuck you again if I stay here. I’ll recover fast.”
“Good.”
He lowered some of his weight and pinned her with his chest. Anger surfaced in his eyes and harshened his features. “You deserved better than that. I should have gone down on you first.”
“I’m not complaining. Didn’t I just say that?”
“It could have been a hell of a lot better.”
She winced and released him. Her hands no longer clung and she unwrapped her legs from around his waist so he could get off her. Kira looked away, unable and unwilling to let him see how deeply his words cut.
“No, baby,” he crooned. “Don’t. That’s not what I meant.”
“Just eat.”
“Son of a bitch. I hurt you.”
“You didn’t. You need food. I’ve been feeding off you. It’s important that you keep up your strength.” She planted her hands against his chest and gave a gentle push. “I think I need a shower.”
He growled low but lifted up, easing his dick out of her. He climbed off the bed and stormed to the dresser. She didn’t wait to see what he’d do next. She got to her feet, a little surprised at her new agility, and fled to the tiny bathroom. She closed the door and stood in the darkness, happy to be out of his sight.
Her new vision allowed her to see without the light. She turned on the water. It was icy cold but after the first jolt of shock, it didn’t seem to bother her much. Tears filled her eyes and she let them slip down her cheeks.
Chapter Eight
Lorn resisted the urge to break down the bathroom door but instead just jerked on a loose pair of boxers. He wanted to kick his own ass. Kira had deserved better than him just pouncing on her and going to town. That’s what he’d done. She made him crazy.
Now she was in the bathroom and he’d fucked up even more. He’d seen her pain and it was all his fault. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. He didn’t regret what they’d done¸ just that it had happened so fast. He’d fantasized a lot about what he’d do if she were ever naked and willing in his bed. That plan had fallen to hell once he actually had her under him. He’d had the willpower of a teenager. None.
“Damn it,” he hissed, staring at the bathroom door. She was in there washing away his scent, probably regretting saying yes to him.
Part of him was mad at her, too. He’d always envisioned her virginal and shy. It had never entered his mind that she’d let some human touch her, or that she’d be so welcoming to his own touch. He’d always thought he’d have to go slow and coax her into allowing it. He’d even expected fear. The reality had been drastically different. She’d given him permission to just take her body, and he had.
She’d felt amazing. Hot. Wet. So tight and right. A thousand times better than he had imagined all those times he’d jacked off. Lavos had been correct. It was always Kira he thought about when he touched himself. Otherwise he couldn’t come.
He’d never admit it aloud, but with every woman he’d ever fucked in heat, he’d fooled his mind into believing it was Kira in front of him, bent over. It was the only position he’d ever allowed his lovers to take. That way he didn’t have to look at them. He kept his eyes firmly closed, Kira’s face the only one he saw.
“Damn, damn, damn,” he muttered. He stomped over to the fridge and yanked it open. He removed a pack of cold hot dogs and just ate them. He needed something in his stomach but knew he wouldn’t enjoy the taste even if he took the time to cook. “I blew it.”
The water turned off in the bathroom and he dumped the plastic wrapper in the trash. She didn’t have a towel so he grabbed one, knowing she’d have to open the door. She did and gasped, surprised he was waiting. He held it out, refusing to stare at her breasts. They were beautiful though, her nipples beaded from the cold.
“Here.”
“Thanks.”
She tried to close the door but he put a hand out, blocking it. “We need to talk.”
“I don’t think so.” She tried to close the door again.
His temper snapped and he shoved his shoulder against it, grabbed her arm. He was gentle but firm as he hauled her out of the small room and into the kitchen area. He took charge of her towel, wrapping it around her middle. He moved fast and just scooped her into his arms. In a few long strides, he sat in a chair, Kira on his lap. Her shocked expression didn’t bother him. He wanted to get things off his chest.
“I’m not mad at you. Not really. I’m mostly pissed at myself.”
She tucked her head and remained stiff in his arms. “You regret it.”
“I regret how I took you, not that I did. It was too fast.”
She bit her lip and finally looked at him. “Why are you mad at me?”
“You urged me on. Don’t do that to a man who has a raging hard-on and wants you so damn bad he can’t think straight.”
Her lips parted and her eyes widened.
“I had it all planned out in my head. You have no idea how much I’ve thought about how our first time would be.”
“Really?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve always wanted you, Kira. Always. I just wasn’t sure if you felt the same way about me.”
She relaxed on his lap and actually leaned into him a little. “I wish you’d said something. We could have been together. I would have gotten you through your heat. We could have hidden the fact that we were lovers from everyone.”
He knew she was thinking about him with other women and identified pain in her voice. It hurt him, too, understanding how much she’d suffered after her father had talked to him. “You can be so naïve.”
“What does that mean?”
Now he watched her anger spark. He could take that better than knowing the truth of how she’d cried when he’d taken those trips. It was time to be completely honest. “I would have mated you if we’d been lovers, and Decker would have killed you for it. You can’t hide a mating, Kira. You’d carry my scent. I would have died trying to protect you. We would’ve both ended up some tragic tale of what happens when someone goes against Decker’s law. You deserved better than that.”
“We just had sex and you didn’t bite me.”
“I’m older now and have more control. Not that you’d know it after what just happened between us in bed. I would have bitten int
o you and claimed you if I’d taken you years ago. Trust me on that. We would have run and been hunted down. Protecting you has always been my first priority. Even if it meant protecting you from myself.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
He pulled her closer, enjoying the way she felt in his arms. “I’m certain. I would have mated you. I might have tried to deny it to myself and everyone else, but deep down, I’ve always known you were mine.”
Her eyes widened.
“You’re my true mate, Kira. We formed a bond when we were kids and it just grew stronger every year. By the time I hit puberty…let’s just say it involved you every time I thought about sex.”
“I wouldn’t say every time.” She looked away.
Regret became a bitter pill to swallow. He knew how she felt. He still wanted to track down the human who’d taken her virginity and make him die a slow, painful death. Jealousy and rage burned bright. “Every time,” he confessed. “Don’t make me expand on that.”
Her curiosity was easy to read. “How—”
“Don’t ask. It makes me come out looking like an asshole…but I did it to protect you. It never meant anything when I went into heat, other than my body needed sex. I couldn’t have you even though you were all I wanted. I kept you safe from everyone, but I was the biggest threat.”
“You’d never hurt me.”
“Being with me would have gotten you killed. It was never fair or right but that would’ve been the price if I’d ever given in to what I wanted most. I did everything I could to keep that from happening. We could never have been just lovers.”
“But—”
“I made a deal with my father when Decker decided to have you killed. Davis had something on him at one point, but whatever it was, it didn’t last for long.”
“What?”
“Decker can be accused of being a lot of things, but compassionate is not one of them. He’s killed children born to this clan who ended up with dominant Vampire traits. Didn’t you ever wonder why he allowed you to live when your father returned with a mostly human infant? Your father had leverage of some sort over him to keep you alive.
“Years later, something changed, and Decker wanted to kill you. He had poisoned everyone in this clan against anything human or mostly Vampire. He only tolerates the GarLycans because he has use for them. I overheard my father and Decker discussing how they’d probably have to kill Davis to remove you from the clan. Your father would never just hand you over without a fight to the death. As soon as Decker left, I went to my dad. I begged him to change his mind but he thought it would be a great way to rid you from my life. I was infuriated. I threatened to attack anyone who came near you, and said he’d have to kill me too. He looked so surprised…”
Bitterness and anger waged inside Lorn. He gazed into Kira’s eyes. Her mouth opened but he spoke before she could.
“Then he got that look that I hate.”
“What look?”
“Calculating and cold. I’d told him I’d fight to the death to protect you. I don’t think the stupid bastard saw that coming. He should have. He realized he could use you against me at that point. He said he’d find a way to keep you alive as long as I kept my hands off you. He swore that if he ever suspected I was seeing you behind his back, that he’d let Decker take you out. I never promised I wouldn’t stop looking out for you. We fought over it plenty of times. He used you against me whenever he could. He still does.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to. You probably would have tried to talk me into standing up to him, not realizing how fatal that would be for you. You’ve always been gutsy, Kira. I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this now but you deserve to know the truth. All of it. He didn’t want to lose his precious first son. Lavos is an excellent fighter but I’m better. I’m also meaner. My father respects that. He needs me.”
Kira nodded. “You’re his son. I’m sure he loves you.”
“I’m sure he does in his own twisted way, but he’s not like your father. I see the way Davis is with you. I never had that, Kira. Ever. Your father shows his love openly and he’d never use you as a pawn in some political game. My father has groomed me since birth to take over the clan.”
“Seriously?”
“Do you think he really respects Decker? I don’t. I suspect he wanted to take control of the clan when it formed, but he knew he’d die in a challenge. He’s been biding his time, waiting for the right moment to use me ever since I hit my teens. He admitted Decker even saw me as a threat. I’m stronger than both of them. I think he plans to take over the clan one day, and wants to use me to do it. My guess is he’s plotting to manipulate me into challenging anyone he can’t take in a fight—then killing me so he can rule.”
“Lorn!” She appeared horrified.
“It’s okay. I’ve always known how shrewd he is.” He hugged her tighter. “He’s not the only one who can make plans and be sneaky. I learned from the best. I was willing to pretend ignorance as long as it kept you safe. Hell, I always hoped once he decided to use me, that I could flip it on him somehow. Use his greed against him to get what I wanted.”
“What is that?”
“You.”
She reached up and caressed his arm. “Really?”
“I planned to confront him head on. I thought I’d use you against him for once. Not in a bad way. That sounds terrible but it isn’t.”
“How?”
“I’d agree to willingly put him in power if I could mate whoever I wanted. He’d have the clan and I’d finally be able to see if I could get you to forgive me. I thought you must hate me after I walked away from you when we were teens. I knew I hurt you. I never meant to.”
“I understand that now.”
“Then Lavos said he met his true mate.” He couldn’t let all that anger go over Lavos’s lie but managed to mute the growl. “It screwed up everything. Dad informed me he’d sent for the woman I would mate. That’s what I’d planned to talk to you about when I realized you felt something for me. My father might have been able to force me to accept her into my home, but I wouldn’t have claimed her. I wanted you to know the truth but there were too many people around that night to make sure no one overheard our conversation. I didn’t want to lose you for good. I was going to ask you to consider waiting for me, until I could make our mating possible. I had no intention of ever taking her to my bed. I knew it was a long shot after all the years I stayed away, but—”
Kira surprised him by leaning forward and kissing him. Her lips were soft and he closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her. She pulled back before he could deepen it. She smiled but then it faded. Tears filled her eyes.
“I can never give you children if I remain this way, and you’ll always have to feed me. Your father won’t agree to let us be together. You’re his firstborn, and he’s going to demand offspring from any union you make.”
“I don’t care what he wants!”
His violent outburst made her jump. He took a calming breath and forced his rage back. “I don’t. I’d love to have kids but I would trade the possibility of them to keep you. And I don’t mind you biting me. Notice how hard I get when you do? I’m aroused just thinking about it.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not letting you go, now that I know you care about me the way I do you. That’s why your father and I were snarling at each other. I’ll be damned if I allow him to hand you over to someone else. You’re mine, Kira.” He drew in a deep breath and released it. “My blood might activate your Lycan traits but it doesn’t make a difference either way. You’re mine,” he repeated.
“I love you, Lorn.”
“I’ve always loved you, too, Kira.”
She nestled against his chest. “This blood thing has to work.”
He silently prayed for that as well. It would make things much easier if Kira could withstand the sun and breed children. He’d mate her either way. He couldn’t deny it any longer. I
t was just going to have to wait until he could do it safely, without the consequence of getting her killed. He needed to take care of a lot of things before that could be possible. He hugged her tight.
“I’m going to figure out a way for us to be together.” It was a promise.
She lifted her head and he knew that determined expression. “We are going to figure this out.”
He grinned. That was his Kira. “Us against the world.” It was their childhood motto.
She blinked back tears. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve always been here. I just couldn’t talk to you.”
“Now you can.”
“It tore me apart when I’d see you and you’d drop your gaze away, as if you couldn’t stand the sight of me. I never blamed you, Kira. I knew you thought I’d abandoned you as a friend.”
“It just hurt too much. I thought you stopped wanting to be burdened by me.”
“You’ve never been a burden.”
“Everyone gave you grief over me.”
“They’re assholes.”
She laughed. “True.”
She was in his arms. He wished they never had to leave his den but it wasn’t possible to stay hidden there forever. Time wouldn’t freeze, despite how much he wished it would.
Kira loved being on Lorn’s lap with his arms firmly wrapped around her. She took in everything he’d told her. “Decker is gone, so that leaves Nabby. He’s going to make a play for leadership soon. My dad and I have talked about it.”
“Nabby will only step up if Decker’s place in the clan is threatened. Right now, no one is certain how this mess with the other clans will play out. That’s probably why my father hasn’t chosen now as the perfect time to use me. Someone has to make the first move for the game to begin.”
She was confused. “Why would Nabby do anything for Decker? Doesn’t he want to take his place?”
“Nabby is still under his control. He’ll only fight to hold the clan for Decker when any challenger for leadership comes forward. I’m sure Decker is hoping he finds a fast way to resolve his issues with Lord Aveoth, since that’s what’s blocking him from coming back.”