Awww...damn, that kills me. I hold my arms out to him and say, "Come here. It'll be all right."
Ben immediately turns away from me and buries his face back in Kate's shoulder, his little hands grasping on to her as if he'll die without her. She gives me an apologetic look and brings a hand up to cup the back of his head.
"Come on, Sweet Potato Pudding Pie," Kate cajoles him. "Let's rub some dirt in it. You're okay, right?"
His cries start to die down and I just stare helplessly while my son wants to take comfort only in Kate's arms.
So fucking bittersweet.
Bitter that it's not Gina holding him.
Bitter that it's not me he wants right now.
But so fucking sweet, this connection he's developed with Kate. My son is happy and secure with her, and rather than make me feel jealous as I thought it would, I feel immensely grateful toward her.
"I'm going to get the grill started," I say as I lean over and kiss Ben on the head, then give her a quick wink. "Looks like you got everything under control."
I make my way back up onto the deck and get the grill going. Shortly thereafter, Delaney and Ryker come out, their arms loaded with food. Delaney hands me the plate of burgers to grill and then sets plates, a bowl of potato salad, and an apple pie she picked up at the grocery store out on the large outdoor table that comfortably seats eight.
Ryker, Delaney, and I shoot the shit and sip on beers while I cook the burgers. We discuss the playoffs and the amazing potential we have to take a legitimate shot at the Cup this year. Ryker updates me on the status of his soon-to-be ex-wife, who is now apparently wanting to send his girls down here full-time to stay with him.
"I want them down here with me," Ryker says as he leans back comfortably in his chair. "But she's got to give me a little time to get set up. I need to find someone to watch them, figure out school, and get some decent furniture for their rooms."
"I'll pull the applications of the other women I interviewed," Delaney tells him. "They were both really good, so that might be a place to start."
"Appreciate it," Ryker says with a smile.
"Burgers are almost ready," I shout out to Kate, who is now swinging with Ben. His tears have completely dried and he's fine.
"Come on," I hear Kate say, and a brief glance her way has me smiling as she jumps off the swing set like a little kid. "I'll race you."
"She's fantastic with Ben," Ryker says. "You picked a winner."
"Well, Delaney really picked her," I say with a shrug. "But yeah...she's pretty great."
"Who's pretty great?" Kate asks as she climbs up the stairs followed by Ben.
When she hits the top step, my heart gives a tiny stutter. Her cheeks are flushed, her hair is wild from playing with Ben, and she looks sweet and completely fucking edible right now.
"You are," I say honestly as I point my spatula at her. "With Ben."
"I am," she preens and gives a curtsy. "I really am."
"And humble too," Delaney says drily, and we all laugh.
Delaney and Kate get along extremely well, and I've been hearing plenty these last few days from Delaney, who has been consistently patting herself on the back over her wise choice of hiring.
"Okay, Peter Peter Poopy Eater," Kate says to Ben as she takes him by the shoulder. "Let's go get cleaned up."
My eyes stare at her hungrily as she opens the sliding door for Ben and lets him go in after her. I watch her until she's out of sight, and I cannot wait for the moment I get back from dropping Delaney and Ben off at the airport tomorrow. I'm going to attack her the minute I get in the house for sure.
"Oh, no," Delaney says all of a sudden. "Oh, hell no."
My head rotates her way and she's glaring at me. "What?" I ask, confused.
"No, Zack," she commands me as she points back toward the sliding glass door. "Absolutely not."
I stare at her, flummoxed. My eyes cut over to Ryker, who says, "Did I miss something?"
Delaney leans forward in her chair toward me and then lowers her voice. "I saw the way you were looking at Kate," she accuses.
Ryker says, "Oh, man."
"I have no clue what you're talking about," I say casually as I open the grill and start pulling the burgers off.
"You stay away from her," Delaney presses me.
I turn and level a penetrating look at my sister. "You don't tell me what to do."
"Zack...she's Ben's nanny. She--"
"Back off, Delaney," I say with an undercurrent of menace. "My life."
She sits back in a huff and grabs her bottle of beer. I relax, but then Ryker asks, "I think I understand. But maybe not. Zack and Kate?"
This question is clearly addressed to Delaney, who answers, "Yes. Did you see the way he was eating her up with his eyes? And there was knowledge in those eyes. Oh, yes...he has carnal knowledge of that girl."
"Holy fuck," Ryker says slowly, and, I have to admit, with a little bit of awe in his voice.
I slam the grill lid closed and turn off the burners. Picking up the plate of hamburgers, I walk them over and set them on the table with a bit of a clatter. "Discussion is over," I tell them both. "Now, I'm going in to get another beer. Do either of you want one?"
Ryker holds his hand up and Delaney mutters, "Bring the bottle of bourbon with you. I think I need it."
I snicker and then head into the house. As I open the sliding glass door, Ben comes barreling out. I let him pass and then step inside, shutting the door behind me. When I step into the kitchen, I see Kate with her head in the refrigerator, that beautiful ass sticking out slightly. In two strides, I'm behind her and my hands go to her hips.
She startles but then immediately realizes it's me, and I know this because she gives me an exasperated sigh and slaps my hands away. "Stop. Someone might see us."
My hands go right back to her hips, then one slides across her stomach to pull her back in to me. "No, they won't," I whisper in her ear, just before I nip at it.
Kate gives a tiny moan and her head falls back on my shoulder. "Come on, Zack. Stop playing around."
"This isn't playing," I tease her. "After I get back from the airport tomorrow, I intend to do a whole lot of playing around with you."
And Christ...she fucking shudders hard in my arms.
I release her quickly before the bulge in my pants grows any bigger. "Hand me three beers, if you don't mind."
She pulls them out, holding them to me one by one over her shoulder. She pulls another one out for herself and shuts the refrigerator door. When she turns to look at me, she asks, "That, um...thing down there with Ben. You okay with that?"
"What?" I ask with my eyebrow cocked at her. "The fact my son didn't want me to comfort him but wanted you?"
She nods hesitantly.
"Completely fine with it," I assure her. "He loves you. It's natural."
Kate's face flushes red and she ducks her head a bit. "I love him too."
My insides fill with warmth over the tenderness in her voice as she tells me she loves my son.
"Yeah," I tell her gruffly. "I know you do."
--
Delaney is uncharacteristically quiet as we drive to the airport. Ben is in the backseat, flipping through one of his books.
She hasn't said anything else to me about Kate, but I know my sister well. It's coming, and since we're almost at the airport, I expect it will be at any time now.
"So the thing last night on the deck," she starts out carefully.
Bingo. Right on time.
"Let's not go there," I warn her.
"It spells disaster," she answers me back softly and in a completely nonargumentative way. I know she does this because Ben is in the backseat and she doesn't want him to understand what we're talking about.
"She's a sweet girl," Delaney says carefully. "And you're...um...probably not the best person for a sweet girl right now."
"I understand that," I tell her candidly.
"You have to think about..." she says, and
then points over her shoulder to the backseat. "He's crazy for her. Don't ruin that."
"I've got it handled, Delaney," I say in exasperation.
"Do you?" she asks, her voice starting to sound a little hysterical. "Do you really, Zack?"
I turn to give her a quick glance. Her eyes are filled with worry. "I won't hurt her," I tell her with soft reassurance, even though this might be a lie. "She and I have an understanding."
Delaney takes a deep breath and lets it out. "I don't want her hurt, and I don't want you-know-who hurt," she says as she points again to the backseat. "But I don't want you hurt either."
My head snaps back over to her. "Me? Why would I get hurt?"
"Because I don't care what you think is going on, I can tell you have feelings for her," she whispers urgently.
Yeah...I do. Have feelings for Kate. I've admitted that to myself.
But that doesn't matter. The feelings I have aren't enough for her, and she deserves better than what I can give her. So until such time as she expects more, and as long as she is okay with the tiny bit I can give her, I'm not going to worry about it.
Self-centered prick that I am.
She's silent for a moment and then she raises a hand to squeeze my shoulder. "You are a beautiful man, Zack, inside and out, and I know one day you are going to find someone that makes you very happy."
I can't help the snort that comes out of me as I immediately dismiss that idea.
"It's true...you will," she asserts, completely ignoring my skepticism. "You have so much to give and share with someone."
A wry smile comes to my face even as sadness creeps into my heart. "I love you, Delaney. Think you're pretty brilliant too. But I'm here to tell you, Sis...you're wrong. Anything special I had to give to a woman died in the car that night, right alongside Gina."
Chapter 26
Kate
Zack sure knows how to send a text.
Get naked and be in my bed waiting. Be there in twenty.
Tingles of anticipatory pleasure skitter up my spine and I give a squeak of excitement as I practically skip my way into his bedroom.
Yes, I've been invited into the inner sanctuary this past week and a half that Ben has been gone. Zack had never once taken me into his room at the other house, but the minute he walked into the house after dropping off Ben and Delaney at the airport, he simply picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and walked into the master suite. He tossed me on the bed, followed me down, and didn't let me out of it for several hours.
Since then, I feel like I've been in a cocoon with Zack. The playoffs started last week and the first best-of-seven game round was against the Atlanta Sting, the number-eight seed in the conference. Zack had practices and team meetings and the first two games of the series were at home because the top seed gets home ice advantage. The Cold Fury won those games handily, as was expected, and Zack was in a very good mood following those two wins.
We almost broke his bed after each of those games.
It's a long-standing tradition in the league that the players don't shave during the playoffs. Zack hasn't taken a razor to his face since the last regular season game and it's filling in nicely.
It feels fabulous between my legs and I feel wanton and sinful even thinking that as I walk back toward his bedroom and start taking my clothes off. I can't believe what a hussy I've become sometimes, but damn...Zack and his attentions have awakened a part of me that I didn't know existed. He's made me feel like a woman.
I wonder what kind of mood he'll be in when he gets here. While the Cold Fury won the third game on the road in Atlanta, taking a 3-0 lead in the series, they lost tonight's game badly.
And I mean really badly.
I watched with my heart in my throat from the comfort of Zack's couch, wincing every time the other team scored and every time we failed to score.
The Cold Fury lost 5-0, and it was an old-fashioned ass-whuppin' that was handed down by a low-ranked team. So Zack may be in a foul mood. Judging from his text, whatever the mood may be, it's not diminished his desire for me. By ordering me into bed, it's clear what he wants to do tonight.
Same thing we've done over and over again, repetitively, sometimes without rest or food; the only time we took a long break was when he was on the road the few days he's been in Atlanta for the last two games. Which was just enough time for the red scrapes on the insides of my thighs from his beard to heal up.
It's late. The team plane flew back to Raleigh right after the game and it will be close to two A.M. by the time he pulls into the garage. I'm not tired in the slightest.
On the contrary, I feel wired, restless, and needy.
I'm ready for Zack to get home and ease my worries. I need him to show me that what we've built up over the last several days with each other is not just my imagination.
Because not only have Zack and I been having wild monkey sex practically everywhere in his house, we've also been talking. He's opened up to me some more about Gina and what happened in the accident. Here in the privacy of his home and within the bounds of our tentative relationship, I think he finds relief in the fact that I don't judge his guilt, but I don't condone it either. I've also learned more stuff about Zack. He's told me about growing up in Nova Scotia, how he started playing hockey when he was just four years old, and he even told me about how he and Gina had been high school sweethearts.
I was surprised to learn that they had broken up for a few years when he first entered the league. He told me that was his decision, and that he didn't want any ties back home. It was sort of his way to sow his oats while embarking on a new and exciting career. He did get back together with Gina a few years later, and they were together ever since.
He doesn't ever mention why they never got married, and I don't press the issue. Because when Zack does talk to me about these things, he does so hesitantly and without a lot of detail. The few times I tried to poke and prod for more information, he shut down on me. Thus, I've learned to accept what he's willing to tell me and leave it at that.
So he's not sharing all of his dark secrets with me, but we have forged a definite bond because of all the personal and intimate time we are spending together while Ben is away. I'm anxious to see if this will hold, or if his walls will be put back up when Ben gets home tomorrow. I'm hopeful, but I suspect he'll withdraw from me again.
I'm anxious to see Ben. I hadn't realized just how much I've grown attached to him over the last several weeks. I wasn't exaggerating when I told Zack that I loved his son. That is a true and hard-core fact. And while I may not have the freedom once the little rug rat gets home to be with Zack the way I have been over the past several days, I'd still much rather have him here than gone.
I quickly take off the remainder of my clothes and pull back the comforter on Zack's bed. I haven't slept in here while he was away in Atlanta, thinking it to be a little creepy stalkerlike to do so. Instead I slept in my room while he was gone and merely fantasized about what would happen when he got back.
I crawl into bed and wait for Zack to arrive. Looking around his room with interest, I take in the glaring differences from the room he shared with Gina. The walls in here are a dark brown and accentuated by a taupe-and-cream geometric comforter that he bought a few days ago when he was out running some errands. There's no art on the walls, and I suspect there never will be. I think Zack became comfortable with this room the minute he got rid of the white lacy spread that had graced his bed in the old house.
Exactly fourteen minutes after I crawled into his bed, Zack walks in. He must have been speeding to get here from the airport. I have the lamp on and it throws a warm glow across the room. He looks tired as he walks in, wearing a black suit with a white dress shirt underneath, the top two buttons undone. His beard is starting to thicken and I can hear the scratch of his fingers against it as he rubs them along his jaw.
"Tired?" I ask softly from my perch in his bed.
"Yeah," he says as he walks into the master bath.
I turn on my side and watch him as he gets undressed, carelessly throwing his clothes on the floor. I'll be picking those up later. He walks out of the bathroom, turns off the light behind him, and comes toward me, gloriously naked and unabashed to be so.
When he reaches the bed, he looks down at me and asks, "Got any clothes on under there?"
"See for yourself."
Zack's tired eyes flash hot and the corners of his mouth lift up in a half smile. "Are you challenging me?"
I bring my hand up to cover my mouth and gasp in mock astonishment. "I'd never do such a thing."
Zack doesn't respond, but merely takes a hold of the blanket that is covering me and peels it back. His eyes roam over my body, back and forth, as he takes his time with just the visual for now.
"Missed that body," he murmurs.
My heart purrs like a kitten from the effects of his sweet words and I start to fidget under his bold perusal.
A quick flick of my eyes to the right, and I see Zack's erection standing out stiffly from his body. So damn beautiful. Long, thick...very hard. Very ready.
"What are you waiting for?" I whisper to him, and his eyes drag up my body until they connect with mine.
He smiles at me deviously for just a moment before turning toward the nightstand beside him. He opens it, grabs a condom out from his stash, and says, "It's our last night where we can be as noisy as we want. Trying to figure out what's going to make you scream the loudest."
My eyes flutter closed and a soft moan floats out of my mouth. I hear Zack open the condom and I imagine what he must look like right now as he rolls it on, but I open my eyes only when I feel Zack's hand curve behind my neck and his mouth closing over mine. He kisses me hard and with swift surety, his tongue rolling over mine with possession. It's one of the reasons why my heart is all tangled up...because of the way Zack kisses. Like I'm the only woman he's ever kissed, even though I know that's not true.
He lifts his lips from mine and pulls me up out of bed by his grip on the back of my neck. He pulls me right onto my feet in front of him and wraps an arm around my back to drag me in to his body. He kisses me again. Long and deep, his hard length pressed between our bodies and pulsing with excitement.
"Missed this so much," Zack mutters against my lips, and his admission causes me to shiver in delight. He's a man of few words, so when he does say something like that, it affects me deeply.