Her legs were becoming more fidgety and her breathing irregular. It seemed like she was holding back, trying to prolong it.
“It’s okay…let go,” I said.
When it seemed like she couldn’t take anymore, I decided to stop for a bit to see what would happen. I stuck my fingers inside of her again and rubbed her clit with my thumb.
Her voice was groggy. “Jake…”
“What do you want, Nina? Say it.”
“I want you to lick me there again.”
“Good, because I want to taste you while you come.”
She surrendered the instant my mouth bore down on her pussy again. Her muscles pulsated against my insatiable tongue as she dug her nails into my hair. We screamed out in unison, her hips bucking as I moaned into her, lapping up every last bit of her orgasm.
As she slowly came down from her climax, I rested my head on her stomach, licking the remnants of her sweet come off my lips. I then slowly kissed my way up her body to her mouth, wanting her to taste herself on me.
So painfully hard from what had just taken place, waiting much longer to be inside of her was not an option.
“I want more,” she breathed out.
“Now, I want…you.”
Nina surprised me when she took the initiative to pull my boxer briefs down. My fully erect cock sprung forward, glistening with precum. She wrapped her tiny hand around my girth and began to stroke me. The euphoric feeling of her touching me was too much to bear, so I got up, kneeling over her. She stared at me in awe, like she was surprised at the sheer size of me. That look of wonder on her face caused more beads of wetness to build at my tip. I enjoyed watching her face as she continued to size me up. When she took my cock in her hand again, I almost lost it.
“Stop,” I urged.
I grabbed a condom as fast as I could, ripping it open with my teeth and sheathing myself. I stopped to look down at her, relishing the last moments before she’d be fully and wholly mine. I wanted so badly to tell her that I loved her but didn’t have the courage yet. Despite her giving herself to me, I was still terrified of losing her tomorrow, and that fueled the urgent need to be inside of her.
Lowering myself between her legs, I waited before moving in, knowing that I would want to see the look on her face the second I entered her.
“I want you to forget the other sexual experiences you think you had because this is your first time. You will always belong to me and unlike your prick ex-boyfriend, I’m gonna finish the job.”
Her chest was heaving as she looked up at me in anticipation. I ran my nose slowly and teasingly along her neck to take in her smell a final time before claiming her.
Her eyes flew open wide, and she winced as I pushed inside of her in one slow but intense movement. My eyes shut in ecstasy upon feeling her tight, wet pussy wrapped around my dick. For several minutes, a fear of hurting her caused me to move slower than I could stand.
“You’re so tight, Nina. So fucking tight. I wasn’t expecting it to feel like this at all. It’s too good…too hard for me to want to go easy on you.”
I knew I needed more, to fuck her harder, rougher, but in discovering how small she was, I wondered if she would even be able to take it.
As if she could read my mind, she said, “Fuck me harder, then.”
“You sure you can take it, baby?”
“Yes.” She inhaled deeply before exhaling. “Please.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”
She screamed out as I rammed into her, “Fuck!”
With each thrust, she seemed to stretch, gradually molding to me. As I moved in and out of her body, I spoke into her ear, “Nothing’s ever felt like this. You’ve ruined me.” I whispered even lower, “You’ve ruined me.”
“Oh God…don’t stop. Go deeper.”
Pumping in and out of her as I lightly bit her shoulder, it was hard to keep myself from coming.
“You’re gonna feel this tomorrow,” I said into her ear. “You’ll still feel me inside of you.”
“Good. That’s what I want. I want it to hurt.”
Shit.
Her words egged me on as I fucked her harder.
“You…belong…to me now, Nina.”
She spoke through heavy breaths, “I’ve belonged to you from the moment you said ‘hi, I’m Jake.’”
We laughed against each other’s mouths as I continued to pound into her as the bed squeaked over and over. Her sweet words cut deep. I’d always felt that way, too. Somehow, she’d owned me from the beginning even when it didn’t make sense to feel that way about a stranger.
When her hands landed on my ass, I let out a growl. That was a serious weak spot for me.
We continued to fuck hard until I sensed she couldn’t take it any longer. Her pussy had clenched around me as she closed her eyes tightly.
“Open them. Look at me. I want to look in your eyes when we come together.”
I knew no matter what happened that I would never forget that moment. She held my face in her hands, and our eyes locked. When she screamed out in pleasure, every ounce of fear, every emotion I’d ever felt toward her, all of the love exploded out of me as I came in an orgasm so intense, it seemed like it might never end.
As my seed spilled inside of her, I silently mouthed, I love you. I love you. I love you.
***
We’d stayed up for hours fucking to the point of near exhaustion. She wasn’t going to be able to walk straight, and it still hadn’t been enough for me.
Not only had last night done a number on us physically, but now, almost nothing had been left unsaid.
Nina had nodded off around one in the morning. Watching her sleep had made me restless, and I needed something to get my mind off the day ahead since we’d agreed to have the talk as soon as I came home from work.
I used the opportunity to write her a poem, putting down on paper what I was afraid I’d never be able to articulate in the right way. At the end of it, I finally used the ‘L’ word.
And as I lay here watching her sleep,
I realize my feelings run deep.
Because they burn and cut like a knife.
I think I love her more than life.
Sleep claimed me shortly after I wrote it. Nina had woken up first around 2 a.m. and had found the poem. The very first thing that came out of her mouth when I woke to find the white piece of paper in her hand was, “I love you, Jake.” She’d said it with no hesitation, as if the words were always there at the tip of her tongue waiting to come out.
As beautiful as it was to finally hear them, they also stung in light of this being the day I had to tell her I was married.
Would she still love me?
The clock showed 5:30 a.m. now. She’d finally gone back to sleep around four. My bladder was ready to explode. Even though the thought of leaving her for even a second bothered me, I needed to get up to take a piss.
Lifting myself out of bed as quietly as possible, I stretched then slowly walked down the hall. As I was washing my hands, the sight of Ryan behind me in the mirror caused me to flinch.
His hair was a mess, and his eyes were bloodshot. “Are you happy now?”
The faucet squeaked as I closed it. “Excuse me?”
“Congratulations. You got what you wanted. How did it feel to fuck her?”
“I bet you’d love to know, and I think that’s been your problem all along.”
“You know what, Jake? When you’re long gone, I’m gonna be the one left behind to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.”
“You’re going to be picking up the pieces of your broken face in a minute if you don’t go the fuck back to bed and stay out of our business.”
“Nina is my business. Always will be. If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”
“If you could see beyond your own egotistical jealousy, you’d know that I’d rather die than hurt her. You don’t know anything about who I am, Ryan.”
“Well, I think it’s time we found out.”
&nb
sp; “Get the fuck away from me.”
Intentionally knocking into his shoulder, I walked past him and out of the bathroom. He was lucky that I couldn’t afford to fuck up today, otherwise, I would have knocked him out.
Going from dealing with his negativity to the angelic vision of Nina sleeping soundly back in her bedroom was quite the contrast.
As much as I tried not to let them bother me, Ryan’s words of warning shook me to my core. It felt like everything was suddenly closing in on me. The sounds of the morning outside were starting to seep through the apartment walls, a reminder that it was going to be time to get ready for work soon. I didn’t ever want this day to begin.
The need for reassurance overtook me.
Slowly inhaling the smell of our sex on her body, I nuzzled my nose into her neck. “Get up, baby. I need you.”
Nina stirred, pressing her bare ass into my rock hard morning wood. Completely naked against my boxers, she turned around and softly kissed my face.
“Do you have to get up now?” she asked in the cutest raspy voice.
“Not this second. Soon, though.”
She must have sensed my stress when she wrapped her hands around my face. “Are you okay?”
“I just…I need to be inside of you again.” My voice was strained.
“I want that, too. But we ran out, remember? We don’t have anything,” she said, alluding to the strip of condoms we tore through last night.
“Shit. I’d forgotten about that.” Kissing her nose, I joked, “Do you think it would go off well if I asked Ryan for one?”
She giggled into my face. “That would be hilarious.”
Not wanting to ruin our last minutes together, I chose not to tell her about the bathroom altercation between him and me.
She started to lower my boxers then slid her body down so that she was eye level with my crotch.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“The one thing we didn’t try last night.”
“You don’t have to. You don’t…” My ability to speak ceased when she twirled her tongue slowly around my crown. “Ah. God, Nina.”
Rubbing her thumb along the tip, she spread my pre cum around as a lubricant and used it to jerk me off. When she slowly licked down my length, my previously tense body had completely surrendered to her.
I barely got the words out, “Fuck…that’s good.”
She hummed in apparent agreement, and the sound vibrated down my shaft.
“Ahhhh,” I moaned as she suddenly took the full length of me down her throat. Gripping the back of her head, I started to fuck her beautiful mouth. I’d imagined those lips wrapped around my cock so many times, but the reality of how amazing it actually felt was mind-blowing.
At one point, she gagged.
“You okay?”
She responded with a nod and proceeded to take me even deeper into her mouth. This couldn’t have been her first time sucking cock. She was too damn good at it. I tried like hell to block out that disturbing thought.
My eyes rolled back from the intense pleasure. I could have exploded at any second but was using all the restraint within me to prolong this.
I’d done a good job until she slowly pulled my cock out of her mouth and said, “I want you to come in my mouth.”
Even though I wasn’t planning on doing that, the open invitation was too tempting. Stroking me faster, she started to suck again and within seconds, hot cum shot straight out of me as she took it all down her throat until it was gone. The orgasm was so powerful, it knocked me on my ass as I lay back, panting and staring at the ceiling.
After twenty minutes of lying together wide awake, I came to the realization that something was seriously wrong with me because my dick was starting to get hard again. I’d never had stamina like this in my entire life.
The time was getting dangerously close to when I’d have to get up for work. I needed to make her come one last time before I left.
“Straddle me,” I said. “I want to touch you.”
Nina got up and wrapped her legs around me. My head was against the back of the bed as she sat on me and stared into my eyes with a look that was a cross between fear and elation. Her blonde locks were a beautiful mess, covering her chest.
“Move your hair back.”
Nina brushed her long tresses behind her back. Her hair was like friggin’ spun gold. I placed my hands on her breasts and gently squeezed, massaging them as she continued to look down at me. She had marks all over her body from where I’d sucked and bit on her skin. I couldn’t get enough of her last night. We’d both let our guards completely down. There was no holding back our true feelings anymore. Her eyes reflected a level of love for me that, aside from maybe my father, I’d never received from anyone before. I wanted to remember this moment of peace for the rest of my life. I used to think that losing her would devastate me. But after last night, I knew it would kill me.
“I love you so much,” I whispered as I moved my hands softly down the sides of her hips. My dick felt ready to explode from the heat of her pussy as she sat over my balls.
What came out of her mouth next really touched a nerve.
“Is love supposed to hurt like this? Why does this hurt?”
I lifted my hand to her face and rubbed my thumb against her cheek. “It wouldn’t be real if it didn’t. I feel that pain, too. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Nina.”
Unable to contain myself, I pulled her down onto my chest and devoured her mouth. The saltiness of my cum lingered on her tongue.
Her wet pussy was grinding back and forth along my dick now. We were completely drowning in each other. With my departure time approaching, my mind started to go off the rails. It scared me that there was still a chance I might never get to experience this again if things didn’t work in my favor.
My hold on her grew tighter. Once again, fear was fueling an intense need to be inside of her. At one point, her body shifted in a way that meant her opening was right over my tip. I couldn’t resist slowly pushing inside. I told myself I would stop after just one last quick feel of her. Her warm pussy enveloped my cock, and she began to ride me. We weren’t using anything for protection, but the need for her blinded my judgment. When we were physically connected, everything felt safe, like our souls and bodies were finally in alignment. Without any barrier, that feeling was tenfold.
Nothing else registered in that moment, not the time nor the consequences of our actions. When her movements slowed, and I felt her muscles contract, a loud groan escaped me as I emptied inside of her. There was no way our roommates hadn’t heard it. It was the most powerful orgasm of my life.
My heart thundered against hers, and we held each other until I had to force myself up.
“Shut your eyes, baby. Go to sleep. It’s okay. I’ll be back later.”
“We’re gonna have the talk,” she whispered groggily.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
***
Somberly, I returned to my bedroom to get ready for work. My shower was a reluctant one because I never wanted to wash the smell of her off me. There would be no time for one later, though, given our plans for the talk tonight.
After everything we experienced, there was no way I could leave her empty-handed this morning.
Quickly folding a piece of construction paper into an origami bat, I knew I’d be late for work as I took my time pondering a message to leave her with.
What I almost wrote:
Whoever said Disney was the happiest place on Earth never knew…
What it felt like to be inside of you.
What I wished I could have written:
Tonight you’re going to feel afraid.
Please don’t forget the promise you made.
What I actually wrote:
I am batshit crazy for you. See you tonight.
The heat was blasting in Nina’s room when I went to place the bat by her be
dside. It was so warm and cozy, a safe haven I never wanted to leave.
***
The blazing morning sun and the cold air outside were a rude awakening as I pounded the pavement and began the dreaded day. With my earbuds in, I played Angel by Aerosmith as I walked to the subway station. Thoughts of Nina set to songs that reminded me of her consumed every second of my commute.
Nothing that transpired after I left the apartment that morning went according to plan. My trust in the belief that everything happens for a reason would be tested in a bigger way than I could have ever imagined.
CHAPTER 19
Present
I had to stop the story. The weeks that followed that morning were some of the hardest of my life. It made me sick to think about them.
Skylar’s voice shook me out of my daydream. “Jake, are you alright?”
“No.” I stood up. “You know what? I’m really sorry to leave the story undone, but I really don’t think I can rehash anything else right now, especially in light of the current state of things.”
I walked over to the window and double checked my phone for a text from Nina. Nothing. It was getting late. I wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this.
Allison and Cedric returned from the kitchen with plates of food they’d warmed in the oven.
“Jake, we’re just gonna set up a spread on the table for anyone who’s hungry.”
“Thanks, sis. You guys eat. I don’t have an appetite.”
I returned to the leather recliner. Skylar and Mitch stayed on the couch while Allison and Cedric ate in the adjacent dining room. Mitch Jr. was sleeping in the playpen, which we’d moved into the spare bedroom.
Mitch was looking at me like he expected me to continue the story. “I just want to know what happened after you told her.”
Scrolling through the text history with Nina from earlier, I scowled. “I didn’t get to tell her.”
“Huh?”
“Long story short, I got an emergency call from Ivy’s group home that afternoon. They’d told me they thought she tried to commit suicide and asked me to rush to Boston. I ended up getting on a plane that day instead of going back to Nina. Ivy ended up being fine, but it was a total mess.”