fact, Baden-Baden or Devonshire would be a better move than this;
   when Smyrna came, and rebuked all mutinous Cockneys into silence.
   Some men may read this who are in want of a sensation.  If they
   love the odd and picturesque, if they loved the "Arabian Nights" in
   their youth, let them book themselves on board one of the
   Peninsular and Oriental vessels, and try one DIP into
   Constantinople or Smyrna.  Walk into the bazaar, and the East is
   unveiled to you:  how often and often have you tried to fancy this,
   lying out on a summer holiday at school!  It is wonderful, too, how
   LIKE it is:  you may imagine that you have been in the place
   before, you seem to know it so well!
   The beauty of that poetry is, to me, that it was never too
   handsome; there is no fatigue of sublimity about it.  Shacabac and
   the little Barber play as great a part in it as the heroes; there
   are no uncomfortable sensations of terror; you may be familiar with
   the great Afreet, who was going to execute the travellers for
   killing his son with a date-stone.  Morgiana, when she kills the
   forty robbers with boiling oil, does not seem to hurt them in the
   least; and though King Schahriar makes a practice of cutting off
   his wives' heads, yet you fancy they have got them on again in some
   of the back rooms of the palace, where they are dancing and playing
   on dulcimers.  How fresh, easy, good-natured, is all this!  How
   delightful is that notion of the pleasant Eastern people about
   knowledge, where the height of science is made to consist in the
   answering of riddles! and all the mathematicians and magicians
   bring their great beards to bear on a conundrum!
   When I got into the bazaar among this race, somehow I felt as if
   they were all friends.  There sat the merchants in their little
   shops, quiet and solemn, but with friendly looks.  There was no
   smoking, it was the Ramazan; no eating, the fish and meat fizzing
   in the enormous pots of the cook-shops are only for the Christians.
   The children abounded; the law is not so stringent upon them, and
   many wandering merchants were there selling figs (in the name of
   the Prophet, doubtless) for their benefit, and elbowing onwards
   with baskets of grapes and cucumbers.  Countrymen passed bristling
   over with arms, each with a huge bellyful of pistols and daggers in
   his girdle; fierce, but not the least dangerous.  Wild swarthy
   Arabs, who had come in with the caravans, walked solemnly about,
   very different in look and demeanour from the sleek inhabitants of
   the town.  Greeks and Jews squatted and smoked, their shops tended
   by sallow-faced boys, with large eyes, who smiled and welcomed you
   in; negroes bustled about in gaudy colours; and women, with black
   nose-bags and shuffling yellow slippers, chattered and bargained at
   the doors of the little shops.  There was the rope quarter and the
   sweetmeat quarter, and the pipe bazaar and the arm bazaar, and the
   little turned-up shoe quarter, and the shops where ready-made
   jackets and pelisses were swinging, and the region where, under the
   ragged awning, regiments of tailors were at work.  The sun peeps
   through these awnings of mat or canvas, which are hung over the
   narrow lanes of the bazaar, and ornaments them with a thousand
   freaks of light and shadow.  Cogia Hassan Alhabbal's shop is in a
   blaze of light; while his neighbour, the barber and coffee-house
   keeper, has his premises, his low seats and narghiles, his queer
   pots and basins, in the shade.  The cobblers are always good-
   natured; there was one who, I am sure, has been revealed to me in
   my dreams, in a dirty old green turban, with a pleasant wrinkled
   face like an apple, twinkling his little grey eyes as he held them
   up to talk to the gossips, and smiling under a delightful old grey
   beard, which did the heart good to see.  You divine the
   conversation between him and the cucumber-man, as the Sultan used
   to understand the language of birds.  Are any of those cucumbers
   stuffed with pearls, and is that Armenian with the black square
   turban Haroun Alraschid in disguise, standing yonder by the
   fountain where the children are drinking--the gleaming marble
   fountain, chequered all over with light and shadow, and engraved
   with delicate arabesques and sentences from the Koran?
   But the greatest sensation of all is when the camels come.  Whole
   strings of real camels, better even than in the procession of Blue
   Beard, with soft rolling eyes and bended necks, swaying from one
   side of the bazaar to the other to and fro, and treading gingerly
   with their great feet.  O you fairy dreams of boyhood!  O you sweet
   meditations of half-holidays, here you are realised for half-an-
   hour!  The genius which presides over youth led us to do a good
   action that day.  There was a man sitting in an open room,
   ornamented with fine long-tailed sentences of the Koran:  some in
   red, some in blue; some written diagonally over the paper; some so
   shaped as to represent ships, dragons, or mysterious animals.  The
   man squatted on a carpet in the middle of this room, with folded
   arms, waggling his head to and fro, swaying about, and singing
   through his nose choice phrases from the sacred work.  But from the
   room above came a clear noise of many little shouting voices, much
   more musical than that of Naso in the matted parlour, and the guide
   told us it was a school, so we went upstairs to look.
   I declare, on my conscience, the master was in the act of
   bastinadoing a little mulatto boy; his feet were in a bar, and the
   brute was laying on with a cane; so we witnessed the howling of the
   poor boy, and the confusion of the brute who was administering the
   correction.  The other children were made to shout, I believe, to
   drown the noise of their little comrade's howling; but the
   punishment was instantly discontinued as our hats came up over the
   stair-trap, and the boy cast loose, and the bamboo huddled into a
   corner, and the schoolmaster stood before us abashed.  All the
   small scholars in red caps, and the little girls in gaudy
   handkerchiefs, turned their big wondering dark eyes towards us; and
   the caning was over for THAT time, let us trust.  I don't envy some
   schoolmasters in a future state.  I pity that poor little
   blubbering Mahometan:  he will never be able to relish the "Arabian
   Nights" in the original, all his life long.
   From this scene we rushed off somewhat discomposed to make a
   breakfast off red mullets and grapes, melons, pomegranates, and
   Smyrna wine, at a dirty little comfortable inn, to which we were
   recommended:  and from the windows of which we had a fine cheerful
   view of the gulf and its busy craft, and the loungers and merchants
   along the shore.  There were camels unloading at one wharf, and
   piles of melons much bigger than the Gibraltar cannon-balls at
   another.  It was the fig-season, and we passed through several
   alleys encumbered with long rows of fig-dressers, children and
   women for the most part, who were packing the fruit diligently into
   drums, dipping them in salt 
					     					 			-water first, and spreading them neatly
   over with leaves; while the figs and leaves are drying, large white
   worms crawl out of them, and swarm over the decks of the ships
   which carry them to Europe and to England, where small children eat
   them with pleasure--I mean the figs, not the worms--and where they
   are still served at wine-parties at the Universities.  When fresh
   they are not better than elsewhere; but the melons are of admirable
   flavour, and so large, that Cinderella might almost be accommodated
   with a coach made of a big one, without any very great distension
   of its original proportions.
   Our guide, an accomplished swindler, demanded two dollars as the
   fee for entering the mosque, which others of our party subsequently
   saw for sixpence, so we did not care to examine that place of
   worship.  But there were other cheaper sights, which were to the
   full as picturesque, for which there was no call to pay money, or,
   indeed, for a day, scarcely to move at all.  I doubt whether a man
   who would smoke his pipe on a bazaar counter all day, and let the
   city flow by him, would not be almost as well employed as the most
   active curiosity-hunter.
   To be sure he would not see the women.  Those in the bazaar were
   shabby people for the most part, whose black masks nobody would
   feel a curiosity to remove.  You could see no more of their figures
   than if they had been stuffed in bolsters; and even their feet were
   brought to a general splay uniformity by the double yellow slippers
   which the wives of true believers wear.  But it is in the Greek and
   Armenian quarters, and among those poor Christians who were pulling
   figs, that you see the beauties; and a man of a generous
   disposition may lose his heart half-a-dozen times a day in Smyrna.
   There was the pretty maid at work at a tambour-frame in an open
   porch, with an old duenna spinning by her side, and a goat tied up
   to the railings of the little court-garden; there was the nymph who
   came down the stair with the pitcher on her head, and gazed with
   great calm eyes, as large and stately as Juno's; there was the
   gentle mother, bending over a queer cradle, in which lay a small
   crying bundle of infancy.  All these three charmers were seen in a
   single street in the Armenian quarter, where the house-doors are
   all open, and the women of the families sit under the arches in the
   court.  There was the fig-girl, beautiful beyond all others, with
   an immense coil of deep black hair twisted round a head of which
   Raphael was worthy to draw the outline and Titian to paint the
   colour.  I wonder the Sultan has not swept her off, or that the
   Persian merchants, who come with silks and sweetmeats, have not
   kidnapped her for the Shah of Tehran.
   We went to see the Persian merchants at their khan, and purchased
   some silks there from a swarthy black-bearded man, with a conical
   cap of lambswool.  Is it not hard to think that silks bought of a
   man in a lambswool cap, in a caravanserai, brought hither on the
   backs of camels, should have been manufactured after all at Lyons?
   Others of our party bought carpets, for which the town is famous;
   and there was one who absolutely laid in a stock of real Smyrna
   figs; and purchased three or four real Smyrna sponges for his
   carriage; so strong was his passion for the genuine article.
   I wonder that no painter has given us familiar views of the East:
   not processions, grand sultans, or magnificent landscapes; but
   faithful transcripts of everyday Oriental life, such as each street
   will supply to him.  The camels afford endless motives, couched in
   the market-places, lying by thousands in the camel-square, snorting
   and bubbling after their manner, the sun blazing down on their
   backs, their slaves and keepers lying behind them in the shade:
   and the Caravan Bridge, above all, would afford a painter subjects
   for a dozen of pictures.  Over this Roman arch, which crosses the
   Meles river, all the caravans pass on their entrance to the town.
   On one side, as we sat and looked at it, was a great row of plane-
   trees; on the opposite bank, a deep wood of tall cypresses--in the
   midst of which rose up innumerable grey tombs, surmounted with the
   turbans of the defunct believers.  Beside the stream, the view was
   less gloomy.  There was under the plane-trees a little coffee-
   house, shaded by a trellis-work, covered over with a vine, and
   ornamented with many rows of shining pots and water-pipes, for
   which there was no use at noon-day now, in the time of Ramazan.
   Hard by the coffee-house was a garden and a bubbling marble
   fountain, and over the stream was a broken summer-house, to which
   amateurs may ascend for the purpose of examining the river; and all
   round the plane-trees plenty of stools for those who were inclined
   to sit and drink sweet thick coffee, or cool lemonade made of fresh
   green citrons.  The master of the house, dressed in a white turban
   and light blue pelisse, lolled under the coffee-house awning; the
   slave in white with a crimson striped jacket, his face as black as
   ebony, brought us pipes and lemonade again, and returned to his
   station at the coffee-house, where he curled his black legs
   together, and began singing out of his flat nose to the thrumming
   of a long guitar with wire strings.  The instrument was not bigger
   than a soup-ladle, with a long straight handle, but its music
   pleased the performer; for his eyes rolled shining about, and his
   head wagged, and he grinned with an innocent intensity of enjoyment
   that did one good to look at.  And there was a friend to share his
   pleasure:  a Turk dressed in scarlet, and covered all over with
   daggers and pistols, sat leaning forward on his little stool,
   rocking about, and grinning quite as eagerly as the black minstrel.
   As he sang and we listened, figures of women bearing pitchers went
   passing over the Roman bridge, which we saw between the large
   trunks of the planes; or grey forms of camels were seen stalking
   across it, the string preceded by the little donkey, who is always
   here their long-eared conductor.
   These are very humble incidents of travel.  Wherever the steamboat
   touches the shore adventure retreats into the interior, and what is
   called romance vanishes.  It won't bear the vulgar gaze; or rather
   the light of common day puts it out, and it is only in the dark
   that it shines at all.  There is no cursing and insulting of
   Giaours now.  If a Cockney looks or behaves in a particularly
   ridiculous way, the little Turks come out and laugh at him.  A
   Londoner is no longer a spittoon for true believers:  and now that
   dark Hassan sits in his divan and drinks champagne, and Selim has a
   French watch, and Zuleika perhaps takes Morison's pills, Byronism
   becomes absurd instead of sublime, and is only a foolish expression
   of Cockney wonder.  They still occasionally beat a man for going
   into a mosque, but this is almost the only sign of ferocious
   vitality left in the Turk of the Mediterranean coast, and strangers
   may enter scores of mosques withou 
					     					 			t molestation.  The paddle-wheel
   is the great conqueror.  Wherever the captain cries "Stop her!"
   Civilisation stops, and lands in the ship's boat, and makes a
   permanent acquaintance with the savages on shore.  Whole hosts of
   crusaders have passed and died, and butchered here in vain.  But to
   manufacture European iron into pikes and helmets was a waste of
   metal:  in the shape of piston-rods and furnace-pokers it is
   irresistible; and I think an allegory might be made showing how
   much stronger commerce is than chivalry, and finishing with a grand
   image of Mahomet's crescent being extinguished in Fulton's boiler.
   This I thought was the moral of the day's sights and adventures.
   We pulled off to the steamer in the afternoon--the Inbat blowing
   fresh, and setting all the craft in the gulf dancing over its blue
   waters.  We were presently under way again, the captain ordering
   his engines to work only at half power, so that a French steamer
   which was quitting Smyrna at the same time might come up with us,
   and fancy she could beat their irresistible, "Tagus."  Vain hope!
   Just as the Frenchman neared us, the "Tagus" shot out like an
   arrow, and the discomfited Frenchman went behind.  Though we all
   relished the joke exceedingly, there was a French gentleman on
   board who did not seem to be by any means tickled with it; but he
   had received papers at Smyrna, containing news of Marshal Bugeaud's
   victory at Isly, and had this land victory to set against our
   harmless little triumph at sea.
   That night we rounded the island of Mitylene:  and the next day the
   coast of Troy was in sight, and the tomb of Achilles--a dismal-
   looking mound that rises in a low dreary barren shore--less lively
   and not more picturesque than the Scheldt or the mouth of the
   Thames.  Then we passed Tenedos and the forts and town at the mouth
   of the Dardanelles.  The weather was not too hot, the water as
   smooth as at Putney, and everybody happy and excited at the thought
   of seeing Constantinople to-morrow.  We had music on board all the
   way from Smyrna.  A German commis-voyageur, with a guitar, who had
   passed unnoticed until that time, produced his instrument about
   mid-day, and began to whistle waltzes.  He whistled so divinely
   that the ladies left their cabins, and men laid down their books.
   He whistled a polka so bewitchingly that two young Oxford men began
   whirling round the deck, and performed that popular dance with much
   agility until they sank down tired.  He still continued an unabated
   whistling, and as nobody would dance, pulled off his coat, produced
   a pair of castanets, and whistling a mazurka, performed it with
   tremendous agility.  His whistling made everybody gay and happy--
   made those acquainted who had not spoken before, and inspired such
   a feeling of hilarity in the ship, that that night, as we floated
   over the Sea of Marmora, a general vote was expressed for broiled
   bones and a regular supper-party.  Punch was brewed, and speeches
   were made, and, after a lapse of fifteen years, I heard the "Old
   English Gentleman" and "Bright Chanticleer Proclaims the Morn,"
   sung in such style that you would almost fancy the proctors must
   hear, and send us all home.
   CHAPTER VII:  CONSTANTINOPLE
   When we arose at sunrise to see the famous entry to Constantinople,
   we found, in the place of the city and the sun, a bright white fog,
   which hid both from sight, and which only disappeared as the vessel
   advanced towards the Golden Horn.  There the fog cleared off as it
   were by flakes, and as you see gauze curtains lifted away, one by
   one, before a great fairy scene at the theatre.  This will give
   idea enough of the fog; the difficulty is to describe the scene
   afterwards, which was in truth the great fairy scene, than which it
   is impossible to conceive anything more brilliant and magnificent.
   I can't go to any more romantic place than Drury Lane to draw my
   similes from--Drury Lane, such as we used to see it in our youth,
   when to our sight the grand last pictures of the melodrama or