I nodded, evading another guy as he was dead set on heading right to Shay’s side. I stepped back, and he passed right in front of me. I gave Shay a reassuring smile, trying to let him know I’d be fine, then I headed through the house in search of my friends.
They were standing in the corner by the kitchen. A card game was being played on the kitchen table and they seemed to be watching. Gage had his arm wrapped around Casey. He was whispering something into her ear, making her laugh. Kristina was watching next to them and listening to Sarah. I glanced around for Laura, but couldn’t—nope. She was in the kitchen, a guy’s arm around her, making her laugh, too. I started for them, but felt someone tap my arm.
Missy was there, and the other three girls behind her. They were looking around with wide eyes.
“Hey.” I frowned slightly, moving closer so Missy could hear me. “What are you doing here?”
She flushed. “I hope it’s okay we came. We heard about the party and told the guys in the front we knew you.”
I stared at her. What was she talking about? “Guys in the front?”
She pointed over her shoulder. “Yeah. There are guys out front. They’re not letting everyone inside. You haven’t seen the front yard?”
I shook my head.
“It’s full of people waiting to get in.”
“Are you serious?”
She nodded.
Holly edged in closer to join the conversation. She half-yelled, half-spoke over the music, “Can we be here?”
“Yeah. Yeah!” I waved my hand inside, even though they were already in the house. I leaned closer to Missy and said to her, tucking some of my wet hair behind my ear, “It isn’t even really my party. I didn’t know it was happening till we got here.”
Missy’s smile had been strained, but a few of those lines disappeared. Her grin became easier and she grasped my arm, yelling into my ear, “I know it’s probably the beer I’ve had, but I wanted to tell you that I’m going to miss you next semester. I’m glad you were my roommate, if only for a semester.”
I nodded, giving a smile.
I didn’t want to start divulging my secrets with her because she was a little inebriated, and I had moved out. No matter how things seemed, the truth was that Missy treated me like I was beneath her since the beginning. Little comments added up, and a part of me wondered if she really did care or if some of this was because of whom I was dating.
I was tempted to ask, just to see her reaction, but someone put a hand on my shoulder, saying, “Excuse me.”
Missy’s and Holly’s eyes grew in size.
It was Linde.
He wasn’t looking our way, but trying to get past us into the kitchen.
I hit his arm, and he frowned, lifting his head to see who hit him. Recognition flooded his face when he saw me.
“Oh!” He wrapped an arm around me instead. “It’s Clarke.” He swung his head to Missy and frowned a little.
I gestured to her. “This was my roommate this past semester.”
His arm came around her shoulder, too, holding his cup so it didn’t spill. He laughed. “You must’ve enjoyed having a single room.”
“Hey.” I poked him in the chest.
He gave me a grin, his eyes twinkling. He was a little faded, but not that much. “You know what I mean. You’ve slept here every night for the last month and a half.”
He was right. I ducked my head down, feeling a small bit of heat coming to my cheeks.
Missy’s eyes were still so wide, as if she couldn’t believe who was talking to her. Her gaze kept going from Linde’s face to his hand on her shoulder and back to me, then him, and repeating the cycle.
Holly straightened, her chin rising, and she shuffled to close out our circle. She wanted to be a part of the conversation.
Linde gestured to her with his glass. “Who are you?”
“I’m a friend of Clarke’s.”
He frowned to me, and I explained, “She’s high school best friends with her.” I nodded toward Missy before pointing to the cousin and their fourth friend. Both were still on the outskirts of our little bubble. “This is her posse.”
Linde tipped his head back, a hearty laugh coming out. He lifted his arm from around Missy and bobbed his head up and down. “I get it. My girl’s got some hooks in her.”
“Your girl?”
“You know what I mean.” He shrugged, still grinning. “My friend, but Shay’s girl.” He leaned closer to me, standing so his back was toward the others. “Watch out how many hooks sink in you, okay? It’s never good to get ripped apart.”
He was telling me? He was football royalty.
I nodded, standing on my tiptoes as he lowered his head for me. “I learned from high school.”
He nodded, more solemn, and held up a fist to me. I met it with mine, and he nodded toward the kitchen. “Going to refill my drink and head out back to hang with your boy.” He noticed my empty hands. “You want a drink?” He pointed to the others. “Drinks? Anyone?”
Missy looked to me, questioning.
I nodded for her. “Yes. You need help carrying?”
He smirked at me. “Are you kidding? It’s like you don’t know me.” He started to leave, waving to the girls as he did.
Missy stepped in closer, pointing to him.
I answered before she could say something, “He’s bringing drinks.”
“That’s Raymond Linde.” Holly took his place. Her cousin took her spot. Their fourth friend was still on the outskirts. “I can’t believe Raymond Linde is getting me a drink right now.”
That was my cue to escape. I began to edge away from them. “I see someone I have to talk to. I’ll see you guys later on.”
All of them nodded, even the fourth girl waved to me.
I felt bad for her. From what I’d seen so far, she was on the bottom of their hierarchy.
As for me, I was heading toward mine.
Kristina was doubled over in laughter. Sarah was giggling. Casey was shaking her head at something Gage said, and he was laughing right along with Kristina. His arm was still around Casey, but he was half-leaning around her to talk to Kristina.
“Clarke.” I glanced over, seeing one of Gage’s roommates lifting his beer up in a salute. I nodded back, closing the distance. I had to move around the kitchen table to come up behind my brother. Kristina saw me first, pointing in earnest. Casey and Gage looked, and then I was swept up in a big hug from my brother.
He lifted me off my feet. “My little sister!” He set me back down and pretended to scold me, “Took you long enough.”
I pointed to where I’d just come from. “My old roommate stopped me.”
Linde was starting back with the drinks, and I yelled over to him. He was on the other side of the table, but saw me. “Hey!”
“I’m here. They’re still over there.”
He nodded and tapped a guy on the shoulder who was seated at the table. He handed him a cup and pointed to me. The guy said something to someone across the table and the drink was passed over. I took it, thanking the guy, and raising it like a toast to Linde. “Thank you!”
He nodded, shouldering his way through the crowd and back to Missy and the girls.
I sipped my drink, watching. He handed the drinks to them, said a few more words, then turned to me and pointed to the back hallway. He mouthed, “Outside.”
I nodded, giving him a thumbs-up sign.
“We’re supposed to go outside?” Gage had been watching, too.
I shrugged. “Shay’s out there.”
“Well, let’s go.”
I led the way.
Some people said hello to me. I saw Becca and Aby from poli-sci in a corner, both looking dressed as if they should be in a nightclub. They turned, but I snuck behind a group of guys to hide from their eyesight. It hit me then—this was what I’d been putting off from the beginning. Becca and Aby would’ve been nice to me, just like my roommate and her friends were doing right now. Kristina always was, and the same for Casey. Even Sarah was the same. She rarely talked to me pre-attack, and it was like that now.
I didn’t begrudge her. She wasn’t being fake. I appreciated that.
Once we got outside, I asked Kristina, “Who was the guy Laura was talking to?”
Sarah overheard, answering with a snort, “A guy she met last weekend. He’s an asshole to everyone but her.” She shook her head, going off to follow Casey and Gage, who had taken the lead. Shay, Linde, and a bunch of others were sitting on the far side of the patio around a picnic table. They looked to just be talking.
Kristina shook her head at me. “There was a fight. Casey and Sarah think he’s bad news, but Laura isn’t listening. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”
Gage threw his hand out to the table. “Hey! What’s up?”
Linde barked out a laugh. “It’s Clarke’s brother.”
Gage drew up short, rolling his eyes. “Nice one, Linde.”
Linde laughed, pounding the table. He looked less sober than when I saw him a minute earlier. “Sit down, Clarke’s brother, who is awesome and the best guy to play darts against.” He raised his drink, pointing to a different guy across the table. “You want a new darts guy? This is the guy. Clarke beat the shit out of the whole house the other night.”
The guy looked over to assess my brother and held his hand out for Gage to shake. “Cameron—”
Gage shook the guy’s hand, sitting beside Linde at the same time. “I know. Cameron Brewski. You’re the quarterback for the team we stomped all over today.”
“Hey.” A low warning.
Gage laughed. “I’m just kidding. I had nothing to do with that beatdown.”
The whole table started laughing.
Cameron had to take it. He only shook his head, pointing his finger at my brother.
“Gage Clarke. You like to play darts?”
The two began to talk.
Casey sat down next to my brother. Sarah beside her, and Kristina started to sit last.
The Cameron guy stopped her, holding his hand out over the table. “No, no, no. You girls can sit over here by us.”
Kristina looked to me, her eyebrows raised in question.
Sarah raised her hand. “I’m saving you the time. She’s got a serious boyfriend.”
He laughed, sounding sincere. “Only gentlemanly intentions here. I promise.” He dropped his voice an octave, indicating me, “How about you?”
A hush fell over the table.
Cameron’s eyebrows pulled together as he glanced around.
I felt Shay watching me. I’d felt him since stepping outside, and I looked over, seeing his hooded gaze intent on me. I gestured to him. “I have a seat—”
Shay finished for me, “She’s taken.”
I crossed to him, and he scooted back for me. His hand came to my hip, and he helped guide me down. He’d been straddling the bench, turned toward the rest of the table, and I was smack in front of him. I leaned back against his chest.
“Well. Then.” Cameron grew quiet, his gaze thoughtful. “I heard rumors, but didn’t know that was confirmed.”
I sipped my drink as Shay’s arms encircled me, falling to my lap. He spoke from behind my ear, “I don’t know what you’re smoking. I know Sabrina told you about us.”
The Cameron guy didn’t respond, his eyes falling on me.
I grew uneasy, not knowing why.
Shay was tense, and then Linde said something and Cameron’s gaze was pulled from us. It felt like a weight had lifted, and I could breathe easier.
I looked back to Shay over my shoulder, making sure no one else could hear me as I asked, “Why’d that guy give me the creeps?”
He shook his head, bending down and placing his lips to my ear. “I’ll explain later.”
We hung out there the entire night, laughing and drinking with friends. Everyone started to leave around five in the morning, and we both collapsed in bed. By that time, the guy was pushed so far down in my mind, that I barely registered anything Shay was saying.
I just wanted his mouth and his body.
And giving up trying to tell me whatever he was supposed to, Shay kissed me back and moved over me in bed.
No one and nothing else mattered.
I was right where I wanted to be.
The holiday break was agonizingly slow and way too fast at the same time.
Gage drove my car the next day for home, and we left after a late breakfast with Kristina, Casey, Sarah, Shay, and Linde. I asked where Laura was, but Sarah just pressed her lips together and slumped down in a chair on the other side of Casey.
Kristina winced. “That’s a sore subject right now.”
I never did find out what happened, but I got an earful about Cameron Brewski. It was mentioned the night before that he was the opposing team’s quarterback, and I learned that he had also been Shay’s rival for a long time. They’d gone to the same high school, went to different colleges, and dated the same girl.
“Same girl?”
Linde added that last bit, watching Shay with a teasing glint in his eyes.
Shay swore under his breath. “You’re such an asshole.”
Linde laughed. “I have no problem spilling the beans.”
“I’m aware.” Shay rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers over the table before making a decision. He turned to me. “Sabrina.”
“Huh?”
“Sabrina?” Casey frowned. “That front desk girl?”
Shay said to me, “I dated her.”
“What?” My mouth dropped. I specifically asked her, too. “She said you were friends. That was it. Why is this the first time I’m hearing you dated?”
His grin morphed into a smirk. “Because we usually don’t talk when we’re alone.”
“Ah!” Gage dropped his toast back onto his plate. He stood, threw his hands in the air, and backed away from the table. “I do not want to hear about my sister’s sex life.” He picked the piece of bread up again and motioned to a different booth. “I know some of those people and I’m going to finish my breakfast there.”
Shay raked a hand through his hair before letting it fall to grasp the back of my chair. “I thought I told you that.”
“You didn’t say shit to me.”
And thinking about it, he rarely did. He knew my stuff: my problems, my trauma, my family, my friends. I started to scowl. What did I know about him? Besides the obvious, that he was damn good in bed and—I felt flutters in my stomach—there was a whole lot of good I knew about him.
The smirk lessened, going back to a grin. “To be honest, there isn’t much to say. I dated her last year for a few months. We broke up and she came back to school this year dating Brewski.”
Linde laughed. “I love that his last name is Brewski. I feel like I’m ordering a beer every time I hear it.”
I ignored our pal. “If it was nothing, you could’ve mentioned it.”
“Like you, I’m private. You didn’t go around proclaiming our relationship. I tend to do the same thing about girls I date, even girls I used to date. There’s nothing there, not really. We’re just friends, and we hardly talk anyway.”
“Then why didn’t you mention it to me?”
He reached for my coffee, lifting it to take a sip. He said, right before, “Because there’s nothing to say. And we had our own drama to handle. Sabrina was and is a non-factor to us.”