Dr. Birk let out a loud laugh. “Now, I don’t mean to embarrass you, sweetheart. Come on, ladies, we need to be heading on back.”
After everyone said their good-byes, I watched as they left down our long driveway. I could still feel Emma’s kiss on my lips, and I reached up to touch them. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped. I quickly turned to see my mother standing there.
“Garrett, don’t do anything stupid. I see the way the two of you look at each other.” She smiled slightly and said, “It’s the same look your daddy and I shared when we were your age.”
I smiled as I took my mother’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Mother, I would never do anything to hurt you or Emma. I promise.”
My mother looked over my shoulder and nodded her head at someone. She turned and walked back toward the porch. I spun around to see David leaning against the barn door.
I took a deep breath and walked up to him. He put his hand on my shoulder and led me to the back of the barn into the foreman’s office.
He pointed at a chair and said, “Sit down, Garrett.”
I sat down and looked up at him as he shut the door.
He sat down on the edge of the desk and let out a sigh. “I’m going to ask you something, and I don’t want you to lie to me. I was eighteen once, so I know what a pretty girl can do to you.”
I nodded my head. “I would never lie to you, sir.”
He spit out his tobacco and nodded his head. “Did you and Emma…well, did y’all have sex, Garrett?”
I shook my head. “No, sir, we did not have sex.”
He let out a sigh of relief as he dropped his head. He slowly looked up at me and said, “Do you have condoms, Garrett?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, sir, I do.”
“I want you to start carrying them with you at all times. A moment will come when you both won’t be able to stop. When that time comes, you protect her and yourself. Do you understand me, Garrett?”
I swallowed and nodded my head.
“I’m not giving you permission. Understand that right now. I’d like for you both to wait until you are married, but what I rode up on today…” He shook his head and let out a chuckle. “Hell, boy, it was like looking in a mirror and seeing me and my Dorothy all over again.”
I gave him a weak smile.
“I promised your mama I’d watch over you. I don’t want you thinking that having sex with Emma will take away any of your other pain. You just need to know that, son. You can’t hide from it.”
“I’m not hiding from it,” I whispered.
David stood up and pushed one hand through his wavy blond hair. “Good. Just be careful. Her daddy would snap you like a twig if he found out you were touching his little girl the wrong way.”
I instantly felt sick to my stomach.
He laughed. “Go on. Get on out of here, and do your chores.”
I jumped up and headed out of the office.
I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening replaying every single sound and movement Emma had made. I closed my eyes and pictured her lying there, looking so beautiful.
I’ll be yours till the end of time.
Yes, I was going to make Emma Rose Birk mine, and I was going to make her mine soon.
I walked into my kitchen and came to an abrupt halt. My mother and father were sitting at the table, and they both looked at me with serious faces.
“What’s wrong?” I asked nervously.
My father cleared his throat. “Emma Rose, please sit down.”
My heart started pounding. Do they know what happened between Garrett and me yesterday? Did Mr. Bauer see us and tell my parents?
“Yes, sir,” I said as I slowly sank down into the chair. “What’s wrong? You’re both scaring me. Did I do something wrong?”
My mother and father both smiled at me, and my mother reached for my hand. “No, darling. You didn’t do anything wrong, but I’m afraid we have a bit of bad news.”
My eyes began to sting from trying to hold back the tears. Garrett…something happened to Garrett. “Garrett?” I barely said.
My mother shook her head but looked away. “Garrett is fine, darling. This has to do with us—as a family.”
I nodded my head. “Okay.”
My father took in a deep breath. “We’re moving to Austin. I’ve been offered a position with Brackenridge Hospital. This is a wonderful opportunity for us.”
“No,” I whispered. I began shaking my head. “You promised me. When we left Fredericksburg, you promised we wouldn’t move again. I have friends here. I have…I have Garrett.”
My mother turned back to face me and said, “I know you think you have feelings for Garrett, darling—”
“Think? No, Mother, I know I have feelings for Garrett. I love him. I want to marry him someday.”
My father shook his head and pushed his chair back. “Emma Rose, please, you barely even know him. You’ve spent one afternoon with him, and you think you love him. That’s impossible.”
I felt the tears sliding down my face. “Why is that impossible, Daddy? I knew the moment I first saw him back in August. I tried to deny it because I was so scared.”
“Why were you scared?” my mother asked.
I smiled at her and wiped away my tears. “I’ve never felt that way before. Just the way he looks at me does weird things to my heart, Mother. When he smiles at me, I have to catch my breath.”
My mother dabbed a tear away before it had a chance to move down her face.
My father pointed at me. “You’re only eighteen. You don’t know what love is, Emma. Besides, what is going to happen when you go away to college? You’ll have to leave Garrett behind. He is obviously going to make his living as a cattle rancher since he walked away from his scholarship at Texas A&M. He won’t be able to provide you with a comfortable lifestyle. It would be a struggle your whole life.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You don’t know that, Father.”
“We are in a drought, for Christ’s sake, Emma!” my father shouted.
“Charles! Do not yell at your daughter,” my mother said as she stood up and walked in front of my father.
I slowly got up and looked directly at my father. “So, Father, you are saying that Garrett is not good enough for me because he chose to stay home and be there for his mother, who had just lost her husband. He decided he wanted to take care of the cattle ranch his father had worked so hard to build instead of going off to college to play football and leaving it for other people to tend to. How selfish of him to pick his mother over football like that.”
My father glared at me. “This has nothing to do with football. It has to do with going to college and getting a degree to better himself.”
“So, because Garrett isn’t going to college to better himself, I’m supposed to just walk away from him like he means nothing to me?”
My mother took a few steps closer to me. “Emma, honey, just listen to us for one minute.”
I took a step back and shook my head. “I only have four more months of high school. Why can’t I just stay with Margie and finish out school in Mason?”
My father let out a laugh. “The only reason you want to stay is because of that boy.”
“Now, he is that boy?”
“You better watch your tone with me, young lady.” My father pushed his hand through his hair and let out a long sigh. “Emma, I don’t want to argue with you about Garrett. I think what he has done for his mother is very honorable. I truly do. But I want more for you. You are my only child. I want the world for you. Your mother and I are able to provide you with more than what a lot of girls your age have, and I won’t allow you to walk away from a future. We are moving to Austin, and you will finish high school there. Then, you will go to college at the University of Texas, like your mother and I did, and you will get a college degree. Once you are finished, you may choose to do as you see fit with your life. Until then, this talk of marrying Garrett Mathews is done.
”
I put my hand up to my mouth and began sobbing. I shook my head as I looked at my mother and then at my father. I slowly dropped my hand and said, “I hate both of you, and I will never, ever forgive you for this.”
My mother let out a gasp, and my father’s mouth dropped open.
“Emma Rose Birk, you apologize for saying such a hurtful thing to your mother this instant.”
I turned and started to run out of the house, and all I could hear behind me was my father yelling for me to come back.
I needed to get to Garrett right away. I needed to get as far away as I could possibly get from my parents.
“Emma, if I get caught, I’m never going to forgive you for this,” Margie said as I stared out the window.
“I promise, you won’t get caught,” I whispered.
Margie had lied and told her parents she was picking up Peggy and going to the library for a few hours. She was really driving me out to Garrett’s, and she and Peggy were going to meet Billy and Raymond down at the river for a few hours.
“Emma, your father called my father and asked if you were at our house. I’ve never lied to my parents, and today, I’ve already told them three lies for you.”
I rolled my eyes and looked back at her. “You and Peggy are meeting Billy and Raymond at the river. I’m sure once y’all see them, you will forget all about the lies you told your parents.”
From the backseat, Peggy let out a little squeal. “Don’t be a square, Margie. This is going to be fun. As long as Emma doesn’t get knocked up, we will all be okay.”
I turned and looked at Peggy. “What?”
She winked at me. “Please. If my parents told me I was moving, the first thing I would do is give up my virgin pin to Raymond as a good-bye gift to myself.”
Margie let out a giggle.
I turned back around and looked out the window. “I’m not saying good-bye to Garrett because I’m not leaving. I’ll ask his mother if I can stay with them. I’ll ask Garrett to marry me if I have to, but I’m not leaving him.”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Margie turn and look at me. She pulled up to the Mathews’ gate and put her car in park. “Emma Rose, look at me.”
I turned to face her.
“I’ve known Garrett my whole life. I know the type of person he is, and he would never allow you to leave your family. He is going to want what is best for you.”
I felt the tears building in my eyes because I knew she was right. Garrett would tell me to be a good little girl and do what my parents said.
I shook my head and looked straight ahead. “No,” I whispered. “He gave me his heart. I won’t leave him.”
Peggy put her hand on my shoulder. “Emma, if he said that, he meant it. He’ll wait for you. He is going to want what is best for you, but he is true to his word.”
I quickly wiped the tears away and got out of the car.
“Where are you going?” Margie asked.
“I’ll walk from here.”
Margie jumped out of the car and ran around it. “Bullshit you will. That walk is a few miles long.”
She pushed me back inside the car and then opened the gate before getting back in the driver’s seat to head toward Garrett’s house. Before she got to the house, she turned down another dirt road.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Billy was going to call Garrett and tell him to meet us at the barn. This road pulls up just shy of the barn. Mrs. Mathews won’t know we are here, so she can’t tell my parents that she saw me dropping you off.”
I looked at Margie and then turned to look at Peggy. “Oh, I see. I take it y’all have snuck out before?”
They both laughed as Margie brought the car to a stop. She smiled bigger, and I followed her stare. Billy, Raymond, and Garrett were all standing there, talking. Billy waved as Raymond slapped Garrett on the back. Raymond headed toward the car as Billy said something to Garrett before turning and making his way over.
“Two hours, Emma. I’ll give you two hours before we meet back here, and I take you home,” Margie said with a serious look.
I nodded my head and got out of the car. Raymond jumped into the back with Peggy, and they immediately began necking. Billy winked at me as he took my seat, and then he shut the door. I watched as Margie turned the car around and took off down the dirt road. I spun around, only to see Garrett leaning against the tractor. My stomach began doing all kinds of weird flips as he stood there, smiling at me. I let out a sob and ran to him. His smile faded, and he caught me as I jumped into his arms.
“Buttercup, what is going on? Why the secret meeting? And why the tears?”
“Just hold me for a bit, Garrett. Please just hold me.”
Garrett held on to me tighter and whispered, “Emma, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
In that instant, I knew what I had to do. I pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Make love to me—right now, right here.”
His face dropped, and he took a step back as he looked at me with a stunned face. “What?”
My heart started pounding. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same way about me? I did the only thing I could think of. I just started spitting everything out, “My parents are moving. I mean, we’re moving. We’re moving to Austin because of my dad. They’re making me leave, Garrett. My father went on and on about how I needed to go to college and that if I stayed here, I’d get nowhere, or I’d end up marrying you and just be a housewife with nothing to show for, um…well, I mean…” I stopped talking the moment I saw the devastation in his eyes.
I closed my eyes and cursed myself for saying what I’d just said. When I opened them, Garrett was running his hand through his brown hair. His blue eyes were filled with so much sadness that I wanted to hit myself for hurting him.
“Garrett, I didn’t mean—”
He held up his hand for me to stop talking as he gave me a weak smile. “You’re moving to Austin? When?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess soon, but I didn’t give my parents time to get that far. When I found out, I just kind of ran away. I needed to get to you right away. I don’t want to leave you, Garrett. I…I love you.”
His whole body slumped slightly as he let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He turned away from me and looked out onto the open field. I glanced up and couldn’t help but smile. It was so beautiful out here. The hills took my breath away, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life here with Garrett. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
I was just about to start talking when Garrett let out a small chuckle. “This is just my luck, I guess.”
I pulled back when he turned to look at me. “What do you mean?” I asked as I tilted my head.
He smiled, and my stomach did a few twists and turns.
“Nothing. Emma, why did you run away? What were you thinking?”
“Well, I don’t know. At first, I thought I might be able to stay with Margie, but I know my parents wouldn’t allow me to be away from them. So…” I looked down.
Garrett lifted my chin with his finger. “So?”
I swallowed hard and said, “So, I had to see you. I don’t want to leave”—I turned away before looking back into his eyes—“without us being together, Garrett. I don’t want to lose you.”
His smile faded, and the look in his eyes changed. “You think sleeping with me will make me wait for you?”
Darn it. That didn’t come out right. “No. I mean, I don’t know. Do you not want to be with me, Garrett?”
Now, it was his turn to swallow and suck in a breath of air. “Emma, I want to make love to you more than anything, but I don’t want our first time to be me fucking you up against the side of the barn.”
My stomach dropped, and it felt like I had a rush of water hit between my legs. The crude way he’d said that did things to me deep in the pit of my stomach. I was ashamed to even admit to myself that I loved the idea of Garrett doing exactly tha
t to me. I looked his body up and down and licked my lips. What would it feel like? I’d heard the first time would hurt, but I bet Garrett would be so gentle.
“Emma, stop looking at me like that,” he said as he moved closer to me.
“Garrett,” was all I could manage to get out.
I didn’t even have time to think before he was grabbing me and pulling me into the most passionate kiss I’d ever experienced. It was like he was trying to get as much of me as he could. He bit down on my lower lip, and the shock wave riding through my body had me whimpering.
“Please…Garrett, please,” I said as I began trying to take off his T-shirt.
When I finally pulled it off of him, I let out a gasp. I’d known he was built, but his muscles were amazing, his chest—oh my goodness, I think I might have just had my second orgasm—was broad, and his stomach—mother of God, I swear, I can see the definition of every single muscle.
He pressed his lips against mine again, and this time, he kissed me like he was hungry for more of me.
Yes.
I began unbuttoning my shirt as fast as I could as his hand moved up my skirt. The moment he touched my leg, I jerked and let out a whimper. His touch drove me mad with desire, and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, for him to make me his.
I’ll be his for the rest of my life.
“Oh…God…” I whispered as he moved his hand inside my knickers.
I pushed my hips against him to get him to touch me there. I needed to feel his touch.
Then, in an instant, the warmth of his body and his touch was gone. I opened my eyes, only to see him reaching down for his shirt before putting it back on.
I began shaking my head. “No, wait. What are you doing? Garrett, I want you. I need you.”
He turned away from me. “Not like this, Emma. Not when you’re scared and not sure of the future. I won’t do that to you or to me.”
I felt the tears building in my eyes. “You’re rejecting me?”
He quickly spun around and looked me in the eyes. “No! I’m trying to do the honorable thing here, Emma. The only reason you want to do this is because you think you might never see me again. You know, there is a chance you’ll go to college, meet someone else, and never look back.”