I wrapped my arms around my body and began sobbing harder. “That’s not true.” I slowly shook my head back and forth. “I love you. I don’t care that my parents think we are too young or that we don’t know each other well enough for me to say that. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to help you build this ranch up even bigger and better. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side and fall asleep every night with you making love to me.”
Garrett closed his eyes and then turned away. He walked over to a bale of hay. He sat down and put his head in his hands as he let out a frustrated moan. “Jesus Christ, Emma. I want the same things, but I’m not going to take you here because you’re moving. I’m not going to risk both your future and mine because you’re leaving, and we might not—”
“Don’t say we won’t see each other again! Stop saying that!” I yelled out. I walked over to him and dropped to my knees. “Please, don’t…don’t say that anymore.”
Garrett placed his hands on the sides of my face and gave me a weak smile.
“Okay, I won’t say that again. Buttercup, you have to go with your parents. Your father is right. It’s best if you go to school and get your degree.”
“No,” I whispered.
He nodded his head. “Yes. I won’t let you give up on college and stay here just to be a housewife to some deadbeat cattle rancher.”
I pushed his hands away and stood up. “Why does everyone think they can tell me what I want and what I don’t want? Garrett, you’re not a deadbeat cattle rancher. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met, and I want to build a future with you.”
He stood up and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. Then, he pulled my lips to his, and he kissed me so tenderly. In an instant, I knew he was saying good-bye.
“Emma, you’ll go to college and get your degree, and I’ll wait.”
I tried to shake my head, but his hands were holding my face, keeping me from moving. “Garrett, no…”
Leaning down, he sucked my lower lip into his mouth and gently bit down on it. Instead of it turning me on, it caused me to cry harder.
“I’ll wait for you, Buttercup. I promise.”
I threw myself into his body, and he wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried.
“I promise, I’ll wait for you, too, Garrett. I love you.”
His hands moved slowly up and down my back. “I love you, too. I’ll always love you.”
Garrett and I sat in the barn, and I smiled as I listened to him making plans to visit me in Austin as much as he could.
“I’m scared, Garrett. It’s such a big college, and I don’t even know yet what I want a degree in. Maybe something to help you with the ranch? Business or something?” I said.
He let out a weak laugh. “Lord knows I don’t have any business sense.”
When I heard Margie pulling up, I jumped. “I’m not ready to leave yet!” I called out.
Garrett slowly stood up and took my hand in his. As he led me out of the barn, I tried to pull him back, but he just smiled and winked at me.
“I don’t…I can’t leave you,” I whispered.
He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. He barely pulled away and whispered back, “You’ll never leave me because you’re forever in my heart.”
I let a small sob escape my lips before Garrett kissed me again. This time, he kissed me like he knew something I didn’t. It was so full of passion that I wanted to beg him to never stop. Then, he quickly stopped and took a few steps back as he raked his hand through his hair again. I smiled because he only did that when he was frustrated or nervous. I was secretly hoping he was frustrated with himself for not making me his own.
I glanced over and saw Billy and Raymond standing there. When I turned, I saw Margie and Peggy waiting for me in the car. I pointed to them to give me a second. I wanted to tell Garrett one more thing before I left. I turned back to face him, but he was gone. My heart began pounding, and I started to walk into the barn, but then I felt someone take my arm.
“Emma, you have to let him go,” Billy said.
He began to lead me back to the car, and I began crying.
“No, Billy, no. He needs me, and I can’t leave him. He needs me.”
I slowly sank down to the ground, and Billy held me in his arms.
“I can’t leave him. I just can’t,” I cried over and over again.
Margie and Peggy were next to me on the ground, saying something about how I needed to stand up.
I wasn’t even sure how I’d made it back to the car.
I cried the entire way home. Margie walked with me as I made my way into the house.
I ran into my mother’s arms. “I can’t leave him alone. Mother, please!” I cried out.
As my mother held me in her arms, she softly said, “Shh…baby girl. I promise you, it will be okay.”
I shook my head as I pulled back to look at her. “No, it won’t. I’m leaving him when he needs me the most. I’m leaving him.”
I had never cried as much as I did the next two days. My father and mother had our house packed up so fast, and before I knew it, I was sitting in the backseat of our car, crying yet again.
“Emma, it will get better. You’re going to meet new people and then start college. Soon, you’ll for—”
My father stopped talking, but I knew he was going to say that I’d soon forget about Garrett.
I looked out the window and whispered, “I’ll never forget about Garrett—ever.”
December 1957
Raymond and Billy went on and on about Austin. I couldn’t have cared less about it. It was too big with way too much traffic. There were people everywhere, and it smelled weird.
“Garrett, are you sure it’s a good idea to surprise Emma? You even said yourself that y’all haven’t talked in over a month,” Billy asked from the backseat.
“I haven’t seen her in almost a year. I want to surprise her, and I’m sure she’s just been busy with school.” I turned and saw Margie staring at me with worry in her eyes. “Marg? Are you hiding something from me?” I asked.
She shook her head as she started fiddling with her skirt. “No, I promise, but it’s been a couple of months since I talked to Emma. The last time, she sounded pretty down.”
I nodded my head and looked straight ahead. The last time I had talked to Emma, she had told me how much she missed me. I’d wanted to tell her that I was planning a trip with Margie, Billy, and Raymond during their Christmas break, but I’d wanted to surprise her.
“Blanton Hall you said?” Raymond asked as he pulled in and parked.
I nodded my head and wiped my hands on my pants. I looked at Raymond and then back at Margie and Billy. The two of them had been dating over a year, and I’d never seen two people so in love. I smiled and shook my head.
“Wish me luck.” I jumped out and started walking toward the entrance. I reached in my pocket and pulled out the piece of paper that had Emma’s room number on it. I walked in the building and smiled at the girl sitting behind the desk.
“May I help you?” she said as she looked me up and down.
I gave her my signature smile, which caused her to smile bigger.
“Yes, ma’am, I do believe you can. I’m looking for Emma Birk.” I handed her the piece of paper.
She quickly looked at it and then back at me. “I know who Emma is.”
I smiled bigger. “Well, I’m kind of here to surprise her.”
The girl made a funny face. “Are you her boyfriend?”
I looked down at the ground and then back up at her. “I guess you could say that I am.”
She looked at me with almost pity in her eyes. “Emma’s not here. She left about an hour ago.”
My heart sank, and I pushed my hand through my hair. “Shit,” I whispered.
She stood up, and that was when I got a good look at her.
Damn.
Her shirt couldn’t possibly get any tighter. Her tits were practically spi
lling out of it, and I couldn’t help but stare.
I quickly looked back into her eyes and gave her a weak smile. “You wouldn’t happen to know where she went, would you?”
When she put her index finger in her mouth and bit down on it, I wanted to roll my eyes.
She let out a laugh and said, “Oh yeah, I know where she is. When you leave here, take a right and walk for about two blocks. You’ll see Johnny D’s on the corner. I believe she said she was going to meet someone there for a burger.”
I smiled. “What’s your name?”
“Marcy,” she said with a huge grin on her face.
I nodded my head. “Thank you so much, Marcy, for your help.”
She winked at me. “The pleasure was all mine. If you, um…find yourself looking for some fun, be sure to stop back by in a few hours. I can…show you around Austin, cowboy.”
My smile faded for a brief second before I took a few steps back. I turned and headed out the door. I jogged back to the car and tried to shake the uneasy feeling I had.
I opened the passenger-side door and jumped in. “Head down the road about two blocks to a place called Johnny D’s. She’s meeting a girlfriend there for a hamburger.”
Raymond started the car.
Margie let out a little squeal. “I can’t wait to see my cousin!”
I felt the same way. The closer I got to seeing Emma, the harder my dick got. It was going to take everything out of me not to make her mine this weekend.
After Raymond parked the car, we all piled out and started to make our way up to the restaurant. Raymond and I were talking about the traffic and laughing when I smacked right into the back of Billy.
“Shit, just stop in the middle of the damn sidewalk, why don’t ya?” I said as I gave him a push.
Margie quickly turned to me, and the look in her eyes told me something was wrong.
“I don’t see her. Let’s just drive around and see if we can find her,” Margie said as she tried to pull me back to the car.
“What? We haven’t even walked in. How do you know she isn’t here?” I pushed her hand off my arm and started to walk toward the entrance door.
Billy stepped in front of me and said, “She’s not in there. Let’s go.”
I gave Billy a push back. “What’s your bag? Why in the hell are y’all trying to keep me from going in?” Right after I asked that question, I looked through the window, and my heart stopped beating.
Emma. She looked beautiful. Her blonde hair had grown longer and was pulled to the side. She was laughing, and when my eyes followed to where she was looking, I almost puked.
I watched as Emma held the hand of another guy, and she was laughing at something he’d said to her.
I’ll wait for you.
“She lied,” I whispered.
Margie grabbed on to my arm and said, “No, Garrett. We don’t even know who that is. I mean, they are probably just—”
“That’s why Marcy told me to come back and see her. She knew Emma was here on a date.” I slowly turned and looked at Billy.
For the first time in almost a year, I saw pity in his eyes. I hadn’t seen it since my father passed away, and now, here it was again.
“Let’s just go back to Mason, Garrett. She doesn’t even need to know you’re here.”
I glanced back at Emma and this other guy. Have they kissed yet? Maybe she’s fucking him?
I shook my head and pushed past Billy and Margie. “Now, why would I want to do that? We drove all this way. The least we could do is say hi.”
“Garrett!” Billy, Raymond, and Margie called out.
“Shit!” I heard Billy say as he ran up behind me.
I pushed open the door and walked right up to the table. I stopped just behind Emma and said, “So, now I see what’s been keeping you so busy the last few months that you couldn’t call.”
The dick looked up at me and gave me a strange look. He was a built bastard, and I was pretty sure he was a football player.
Emma turned and looked at me. “Garrett?” she said as she stood up. “Oh my God! What are you doing here?”
At first, she wasn’t smiling, but then a huge smile spread across her face before it quickly vanished. She must have realized what was happening.
I looked her body up and down, and I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and kiss her. “I wanted to surprise you, but it looks like the surprise is on me, Em.”
She looked back at the guy she was with, who was just sitting there, and then she turned back to me. She shook her head and said, “Um, Garrett…wait, no. Philip is…well, he is helping me with biology, and he’s my—”
I let out a laugh. “No need to worry about explaining, Emma. You waited as long as you could, right? While I’ve been lying alone in bed at night, thinking about you, after working my ass off for fifteen hours a day…you’ve moved on, right? I bet your father is happy. Phil here will most likely give you that life your daddy wants for you.”
Emma’s mouth dropped open. “Garrett, that’s not what’s happening here. Philip and I—”
I took a few steps back. “Please, don’t explain it to me, Emma. I saw the two of you through the window. It was really touching, seeing y’all holding hands.” I looked at Philip, and he acted like he wanted to say something, but I didn’t give him a chance. “Take care of her. She deserves the world.”
I quickly turned and started walking out of the restaurant.
“Garrett!” Emma called out after me.
I picked up the pace, and by the time I got outside, Raymond was jumping into the car and starting it. I could hear Emma pleading with Margie and Billy to get me to stop and just listen to her.
“Margie, please! You know I would never—”
Billy was pulling Margie by the arm, and he pushed her into the car and jumped in next to her.
“Wait! Garrett, wait and let her explain. She said it wasn’t what it looked like,” Margie said.
“Drive, Ray,” I said.
“Garrett, please,” Margie said.
I slammed my hand down on the dashboard and yelled, “Drive, Ray! Margie, just stop! You saw what I saw. They were holding hands and having a grand time. There is nothing for her to explain.”
Raymond backed the car out, and right before he pulled away, I glanced back at Emma. She was standing there, crying, and the jerk had his hands on her shoulders while he was saying something to her.
I looked straight ahead and said, “Head back to Mason, Raymond. I never want to set foot in Austin again.”
New Year’s Eve
I downed another beer and gave the empty bottle a good throw as Billy and Wayne argued about something. I was well on my way to getting drunk, and I didn’t care. Emma had tried to call me every day for the last few days, and each time, I’d told Mother to tell her I wasn’t around. I’d seen the worry in my mother’s eyes.
She would hang up and ask me, What happened in Austin, Garrett?
I would say the same thing each time, My eyes were opened, Mama, to my true future.
“Hey, Mathews. Why the long face?” Anna purred as she walked up and looked down at me.
She was wearing a pair of tight pedal pushers and a black shirt that was tied just above her midsection. I licked my lips as I took in her body.
Wayne leaned over and said, “Don’t do it, Garrett. You know you’ll regret it the moment it happens.”
I grabbed another beer and continued to stare at Anna. I could take her around the corner and screw her brains out, but it wouldn’t help me forget about Emma. It could give my poor dick some relief, but that would be about it.
Anna leaned in and put her lips up against my ear. She whispered, “Let’s bring in 1958 with a bang, shall we?”
I pulled back as I looked at her and shook my head. “I might be on my way to drunk, but I’m not drunk yet.”
She gave me a dirty look and stood up straight. She smoothed back her hair and looked at me like she hated me. “Your loss,
jerk.” She spun around and made her way over to the next poor guy she was going to attempt to sleep with.
I felt someone nudge my shoulder.
“Come on, let’s get out of here and hit the fields,” Billy said.
Margie and Peggy started jumping up and down, and then they took off for Billy’s car.
The fields were what they’d started calling the west pasture of the ranch. We would all hang out there and either shoot the guns or just sit there and drink. Billy always parked the car far enough away so that he and Margie could stay behind and have sex while the rest of us hung out. We’d been going there for the past six months whenever everyone came home from school, but it seemed like we’d been doing it every night for the last week. Ever since we’d gotten back from Austin, I’d been attempting to drink Emma away.
I stood up and felt a little dizzy. “You driving? I think I’ve had too much to drink.”
Billy laughed. “I’ll have Margie drive your car, and I’ll follow.”
I nodded my head. “Sounds good. I’ll wait in the car.” I made my way over to my car and crawled into the backseat.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been lying there before I heard Margie get in the car and start it up.
“Margie, Margie, Margie, let’s go get drunk,” I said.
I slowly felt myself falling asleep. As I drifted off, all I could see were Emma’s beautiful gray eyes looking into mine while she was sitting on the quilt under our oak tree, smiling at me.
Why, Em? Why didn’t you keep your promise?
My eyes snapped open when I heard the car door shut. I slowly sat up and tried to adjust my eyes. It was dark out, but the full moon lit up the oak tree perfectly. Why in the hell did Margie park here?
I slowly made my way out of the car and called out, “Marg, why in the hell did you park here?” I looked around and couldn’t see or hear anyone. “Where’s Billy?” I spun around and didn’t see them.
“Margie? If you and Billy want to sneak off, fine, but don’t leave me here! I don’t want to be here.”