“No,” Jacob said, “I must continue to teach the truth. You must put me on the stand.”
“If I put you on the stand we might lose. Remain silent and we will win, I promise. Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.”
“Silence is also speech. He who is silent appears to consent. If I do not stand up for what I believe in then people will think I do not believe. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. To be free, we must be brave. The one safety for the vanquished is to abandon hope of safety. When you have no choice, you must mobilize the spirit of courage.”
“Jacob you have to trust me, I know better than you how to win this case. You can’t think clearly. You can’t be the judge of your own case.”
“I do not want to win. I have chosen the way of truth. When you speak the truth, sometimes you lose. People can take everything away from you, but they can never take away your truth. No man can purchase his virtue too dear, for it is the only thing whose value must ever increase with the price it has costs us. Our integrity is never worth so much as when we have parted with our all to keep it.”
“I’m not asking you to lie. I just need you to hold back the entire truth.
Let your speech be better than silence, or be silent. We want people to think you are being persecuted, but they will crucify you if you insist on calling yourself the Messiah. If you are silent, the truth will remain and you will survive.”
“A half-truth is a whole lie. If you lie and then tell the truth, the truth will be considered a lie. One falsehood spoils a thousand truths. I will not let my truth become false. Even silence will destroy my teachings. If I must lie then I will lie by telling the truth. The truth is the safest lie.”
“Fine but remember that I tried to warn you. The truth never dies but it lives a wretched life.”
There was a knock on the door and the bailiff came in, “Hurry up please, it’s time,” he said.
Chapter 76: Actions
The prosecutor, Joseph Karamazov, rose from his seat and began in to speak in a solemn voice, “If good is confused with evil there is an end to all morality. This law, forbidding cults that brainwash the weak and easily influenced, was passed to prevent evil men from corrupting the innocent by pretending to be good.”
“The defense will try to confuse you and claim that this case is about freedom of religion but it is not. We do not care what religion the defendant practices, it is his crimes we object to. We are concerned only with his actions. He virtually kidnapped twelve people and brainwashed them into leaving behind their normal lives to follow him. Do not allow him to hide his evil actions behind the screen of religion.”
“We are concerned only with his actions, but let us consider what he preaches for his words give evidence of his guilt. He preaches that all persons should be equal and that there is no day of judgment and neither punishment nor shame for sin. This is not a religion but a feel-good teaching that could lead only to sin.”
“However, we are concerned with his actions. Therefore, consider the people whom he chose to be his followers. He did not choose the wise or the prudent or the strong, rather he chose those who were weak and susceptible to his brainwashing techniques. Do not judge his disciples, they are victims, they are not responsible.”
“We shall show that the defendant knew his disciples were weak and he chose them so that he could have complete power over them. Consider who followed him. Two unemployed alcoholics, a heroin addict, a homosexual, a fourteen year old girl who was a runaway.”
“Those are the strongest and most admirable of his so-called disciples. He also fooled a prostitute into following him and leaving behind her ten-month-old child. He picked up a child molester and let him preach to young children. Finally, he snatched up an eighteen-year-old man just as he was released from juvenile detention for a murder he committed when he was 14.”
“These were the people he chose to start his religion. What is this preference of sinners over others? I tell you it is because he knew they were weak and he wanted absolute control over them. Judge him, not because of his religion, but because he exploited these victims.”
“The defense will claim that this law threatens religion, but the real danger to religion lies in allowing men such as the defendant to persecute and harm the innocent in the name of religion. Do not let them fool you by obscuring the truth. In a conflict between truth and darkness, truth cannot lose.”
Chapter 77: Power
Clarence slowly rose from his seat and walked toward the jury. “My opponent has made some very good points, but I want you to remember that there are always at least two sides to every story. The man who pleads his case first seems to be in the right, but then his opponent comes and puts him to the test. Do not base your judgment on opinion or hatred, but listen to my client’s side of the story.”
“This case is about two things: faith and power. I say it concerns faith because my client cannot be punished for following sincere religious beliefs. If you find he is a liar or a scam artist then you have the right to convict him. However, if you find that he truly believes in what he preaches then he is innocent.”
“I say that this case is also about power. I say this because the rulers of this city, religious and otherwise, are afraid of my client. They do not agree with his teachings and they are afraid that his teachings weaken their own. They were not able to stop people from following him. Therefore, they have decided to silence him through an unjust law. They are using the law to attack him, but the law should be a shield not a sword.”
“This case is about power. The rulers of this city want to control my client by forcing him to follow their version of the truth or stop his preaching. They have a problem in that he is innocent. There is no way to rule innocent men. The only power the government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.”
“My client is innocent. All he has done is preach a moral code that he believes in. He has done nothing different from religious leaders such as Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Joseph Smith, or thousands of others. If you find him guilty then you find all of those men guilty.”
“Nobody should be punished for his thoughts. You can’t legislate morality and you can’t legislate religion. If there is but one religion, why do we differ so much about it? Why do we not all agree on how to practice Christianity when we can read its teachings from a book?”
“If you convict my client, you say to him, ‘Even though it is permitted for others to practice their religion freely, it isn’t permitted for you.’ Do not let the prosecution fool you. Do not convict an innocent man for his beliefs. My client does not wish to destroy your religion or take it from you. He only wants to enjoy his own. However, if you convict him, your own religion will be left unprotected from hypocrisy and later attack.”
Clarence returned to his seat, “Do not hate my client. Where there is hatred in judgment is blind. Judge him justly according to the law.”
Chapter 78: Third
The prosecution called Mary as its first witness. She did not want to be there, she looked ashamed. She glanced at Jacob quickly and he gave her an understanding smile. He knew that this would be difficult for her. He tried to comfort her even though she was betraying him.
“Could you tell us when you first met Jacob?” the prosecutor asked.
“In New York City four years ago.”
“And what were you doing at the time?”
“Working.”
“Well, I wouldn’t call it work, would you? You weren’t exactly working at a legal job were you?”
“What I did was no worse than what you do.”
“Please stop avoiding my questions. You worked as a prostitute didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And Jacob found you doing this ‘work’ one day and asked you to follow him?”
“Yes.”
“Why did you go?”
“I had nothing to leave behind, my life was numb and almost dead.”
“That’s not entirely true is it? Didn’t you have a child less than a year old?”
“Yes.”
“What did you do with that child?”
“I gave him up for adoption. I couldn’t care for him.”
“What about the father?”
“I didn’t know who the father was.”
“I see. Now, why do you think Jacob chose you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is it because you were vulnerable and easily exploitable?”
“I’m not weak.”
“Isn’t it true that he chose you because he needed a red haired prostitute named Mary to fulfill his deluded Messianic quest?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you feel he took advantage of you?”
“Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know.”
“No further questions.”
Clarence stood up and looked at Mary sadly, “I know this has been hard for you, I only have a few questions.”
“Ok.”
“First, do you think Jacob believed in what he taught?”
“Yes and I believed in it once too, in a previous life when I was naive.”
“Fine. Now, I’m sorry to ask this but, you are not a prostitute anymore right?”
“No I am not.”
“So your life has improved since you met Jacob?”
“You could say that.”
“So, isn’t it possible he was trying to help you, to save you, and not to exploit you?”
“Save me? Anything is possible.”
“Thank you. No more questions.”
Chapter 79: Either/Or
The rest of the prosecution’s case was similar. Joseph called each disciple in turn. First, he made the witness tell his or her story of sadness in an attempt to make them appear vulnerable and susceptible to Jacob’s alleged con. Then he would ask the disciple whether he or she still believed in Jacob. All answered no. Clarence would then question the disciple briefly and get him or her to admit their life had changed for the better because of Jacob.
The prosecution called Aurora next. She had run away from home at age 14 because she felt her family didn’t understand her pain. Jacob found her broken and alone at a New York bus station where runaway girls were often led into prostitution. She admitted she no longer believed in Jacob. Under Clarence’s questioning, Aurora recounted how Jacob saved her and how she was now back with her family.
Andrew told how he had lost his job when the tire plant in his town closed. After he lost his job, he lost his self-respect, home, and family. Jacob found him in a junkyard, drunk and dying. On cross-examination, he proudly told how he was now reunited with his family.
Joel didn’t really have a sad story. He lived in a small town and went with Jacob, as he said, because he wanted to see the world. Nevertheless, he hurt Jacob’s cause simply by the way he looked, talked, and acted. He also surprised me by saying he was now enrolled in school and wanted to attend college.
The prosecutor couldn’t get Simon to admit he was a drug dealer, but he did say he had been a heroin addict. Clarence got him to admit he was now drug free.
Matthew was a closet homosexual before he met Jacob, but now was happy with his sexuality.
Philip tearfully told of his conviction for child molestation. He claimed he had been wrongfully accused, but no one believed him. Clarence asked no questions.
The last disciple called as a witness was John. The prosecution did not call Stephen, James, Atarah, or me. John had been involved in a gang shootout when he was thirteen years old. He was convicted of two counts of murder and was in juvenile detention until age 18. As soon as he was released, Jacob found him. He went along because he had nowhere else to go. On cross, he proudly talked of his new life running a program for troubled children.
After the disciples, the prosecutors called a series of witnesses who told of Jacob’s career in the Carthaginian Church. These witnesses portrayed Jacob as a vindictive con man who invented his religion because he didn’t get the church appointment he wanted and was then kicked out of the Church. Clarence got them to admit they disliked Jacob and his teachings and that the Church wanted him convicted.
Chapter 80: Option
After the final Church witness, the prosecution rested. It was time for lunch. We ate in an interview room to avoid the press. Jacob, however, refused to eat and he appeared physically sick.
“Are you okay?” Clarence asked.
“I’m fine,” Jacob said, “the end is just a little harder, when brought about by friends. Don’t worry, I will survive. I know God won’t give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”
“It isn’t going that bad is it?” I asked.
Clarence shrugged, “Based on the law we should win, but opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence. I would guess we have about a fifty-fifty chance of winning.”
“You are an optimist my friend,” Jacob said, “We have no chance of changing God’s will. We play dice with God and the dice of God are always loaded. God has set up an unequal contest. He has no mercy. We are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the rulers of this present darkness.”
“You should have told me this case was a loser before I took it,” Clarence joked.
Jacob laughed, “So now I have become your enemy by telling you the truth? Woe unto ye lawyers, for ye have taken away the key of knowledge. You knew this was an impossible task. I will not blame you for losing. Nobody has any obligation to do the impossible.”
“Well, I’m going to try,” Clarence said, “as you know I’m an optimist and, thank God, an atheist. In my opinion the difficult is done at once, the impossible just takes a little longer. It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
“Is there really any chance we’ll win?” I said.
“Maybe,” Clarence said, “if you two would listen to me. Jacob has been betrayed by everyone, but he sticks to his principles. One with principles always loses in a court of law. I think if the world wants to be betrayed, let it be betrayed. Then I promise you we will win.”
“Clarence I can’t…”
Clarence threw up his hands, “I know I know. Please just think about it while I prepare for the next witness.
Chapter 81: Answer?
After Clarence had left, Jacob turned to me. “It is time,” he said.
“Time for what?” I asked.
“Time for you to find the answer.”
“Okay where is it?”
“I don’t know, you have to find it yourself. Go now. Seek out a place far from this courtroom where you can think clearly. If you find the answer, return here and testify in my defense. If you cannot find it then do not come back.”
“Jacob, I can’t. I don’t have faith in you or the truth or the answer or whatever it is anymore.”
“Yes you do. You would see the truth, but you close your eyes. It is right in front of you. Open your eyes.”
“I see nothing.”
“Will you not at least try?”
“Fine I will try and fail as I always do.”
“Go then.”
Chapter 82: Answer
I fled from the courthouse. I walked aimlessly through the streets of Carthage. I didn’t know where I was going and the world was a blur. Finally, I grew tired and I stopped.
I felt broken in a world that could not help me repair myself. I have never broken anything in my body but right now, I have broken just about everything inside.
I recognized that I was near the parking lot where Jacob had prayed before his arrest. I decided to continue and I trudged to the lot.
I fe
lt ridiculous but I knelt in spot G 77 and began to pray. “God, I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can, please hear me and answer my prayer. Please help me find what I’m looking for.”
After a minute of silence, I began to think for myself. Jacob had told me the answer came from God’s gift of freewill. Freewill allows us to choose either good or evil. That doesn’t help because the problem is that we do not always know what is good.
Good must be happiness and happiness must be that which causes pleasure. That can’t be right because something that causes pleasure now might bring about pain later. Therefore, we cannot judge what is good before we do it.
Good must come from giving ourselves to others by performing good works. But how can we know the works we do are good? Trying to do good we might actually do evil. Besides, such a life couldn’t make us happy.
Good must come from faith. But faith in what? If we have faith in God, how do we know what He wants us to do? Many people say they have faith but they are still unhappy. Many more actually do have faith but their works are evil.
Is it love? No, for love can cause pain and anger. Love can be like being stabbed with a thousand knives. Even love can be corrupted. There is nothing human that cannot be corrupted. Unrequited love is the worst evil of all. Hate is not the opposite of love. Love is the opposite of love.
Jacob said children show the way to the truth. Why? Because they are innocent? How can innocence be the definition of the good? I cannot remain innocent forever.
I can’t find it Lord, Please help me. What is the truth? The truth is unknown. Wait. What did Mary say to me once? “Step out into the Unknown,” she said, “and you will find the truth.” Therefore, I must find the unknown in order to find the truth.
What is the unknown? Darkness? Truth? Good? Unknown? What? What? WHAT?
And suddenly, just as I became frustrated, I knew. I saw a broken umbrella lying in spot F66 of the parking lot. I know it was not there when we came before. It was a sign meant for me. Thank you Lord.
The unknown is my life. Discovering the key to my life was the answer.
The truth is……..Stop being afraid. All my life I have been afraid. My fear prevented me from living life to the fullest. Now I will no longer be afraid.