"She was always rebellious. angry. She got in with a bad group, snuck away to a party where she was drugged and raped."
"Oh no
"And they took pictures of her and tried to blackmail her with them, asking for money. We kept it a secret from my stepmother and from Uncle Roy. It was what Beneatha wanted and I went along with her because I wanted her to like me, to love me, so much.
"In the end we both walked into a trap, and I fled to get help. When I returned, she had been murdered.
"Roy was furious at me for not telling him what was going on, and despite what Mama said to me afterward. I knew she was disappointed in me, too, but no one hated me more than I hated myself.
"Mama Latisha got me out of that world as quickly as she could. and I lived under the fantasy that evil waters didn't run in these privileged rivers and lakes. Eventually. I learned that it did, but often in more subtle ways. I should have spent all these last few years warning you, preparing you, but instead, I tried to make you into the girl I wished I could have been: pure, untouched, forever happy. How stupid."
"You warned me about things. Mama. We had good talks. It was my own stupidity."
"I should have made it more vivid for you, honey. It was my responsibility, my job and as you can see, I was more than well equipped to do it. I had all that bad experience, but I didn't make use of it. I wasted it. I let it continue to harm me, harm us."
"Please don't do this. Mommy," I pleaded. "It will only make me feel worse about what I did. too."
She looked at me for a long moment and then she smiled and opened her arms.
I knelt down and fell into her lap where she held me for a while and stroked my hair just the way she used to when I was just a little girl.
"Okay, honey," she said. "I'll stop. We'll be all right."
She kissed me on the forehead and I sat back on the grass. A few moments later, we heard the sound of Harley's motorcycle. He shot up the drive and turned toward his house when he spotted us and brought his motorcycle to a sudden stop. For a moment he straddled it and looked our way, just to be sure he was seeing right.
"Oh no. Mommy. What will I tell Harley? Hell be so upset. There's no telling what he might do."
"Then don't tell him anything for now." she said quickly. "Tell him you got sick and we wanted you home for a few days."
Harley turned off the motorcycle and waved. I waved back and he started toward us. In my heart of hearts. I knew how difficult it was going to be for me to lie to Harley. Being so close for so many of our formative years, we knew all the little nuances in our gestures, looks and voices.
Aunt Alison, who was an expert liar and proud of it, once told me the best way to succeed with a lie is to first convince yourself it's true. Maybe I wouldn't have such a hard time doing so. I thought. I really was sick. In fact. I haven't often felt as sick as I did at the moment.
I rose and walked toward him.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"I had to come home for a while," I said.
"Why?"
"I got sick at school and my parents thought I should," I replied.
"What happened?"
"It's too disgusting to talk about." I said. That wasn't a lie.
"Summer." Mommy called as she turned toward the house. "don't stay out too long. honey."
"Okay," I said. "I'm still ,,weak," I told Harley.
"Can I come over to see you later?" he asked quickly.
"Maybe you had better wait until tomorrow," I said giving him a quick smile and turning.
"I'm sorry you're sick." Harley called after me. "but I'm glad you're here." he added.
I closed my eyes and kept walking with my head down. I didn't look back until I was beside Mommy at the front door. He was still looking our way. Even at this distance. I could feel the suspicion in his eyes.
It's not lying that hurts so much. I thought. It's whom you lie to.
"Rain!" Daddy called from the door of the office as soon as we entered the house. Daddy never needed more than a syllable of rage to reveal how angry he was. "You'd better come down here a moment. I've just spoken with Grant."
I started along with Mommy.
"You should go back upstairs. honey," Daddy said.
Mommy paused, looked up at me and then back at Daddy. "No, Austin," she said. "I want her to know it all, everything."
"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice fill of admonition.
"Yes," she said firmly. "Never as sure as I am now." she added. and we went down the corridor together to join him in the office.
.
Mommy wheeled herself up in front of the desk. and I sat quickly beside her. Daddy was at the window, his hands behind his back. He shook his head and then he returned to the desk and faced us.
"Grant has had a long, frank conversation with the district attorney. Duncan Fields' attorney was at the police station almost minutes after they had brought him down for questioning, and from what Grant says the district attorney tells him. this Duncan Fields was like a seasoned criminal, cocky and well versed on his rights and how to conduct himself. A few phone calls to the right places revealed he has had some other similar incidents, but all of them were quashed."
"He did something at his last music school in France, didn't he, Daddy?" I asked.
"Yes. It seems so. You can just imagine the money that took to settle that one, being it was in a foreign county," he told Mommy,
"So, if he has this record--'' she began. He held up his hand.
"I didn't say he had a record. Rain. All that the district attorney told Grant were things that were offthe-record. There's nothing written down, nothing that would come up in a search for his criminal history.. In short, nothing admissible in a court of law."
Mommy shook her head.
"To get to the heart of this situation." Daddy continued. "Duncan claims that Summer invited him to come to her bedroom window, that she had made the rendezvous arrangements while they were dancing."
"That's a lie, a big fat lie!"
"Of course it is." Daddy said. "I don't think there's anyone, even his own attorney, who believes it, but it's his story. He said you wanted to come out and he told you that you and he would get into trouble, but you practically jumped into his arms. Then you begged him to show you his car. When you got there, you practically raped him, according to his side of the story. He's seventeen, you're sixteen. Both of you are legally minors, so we couldn't go after him on corrupting the morals of a minor."
"What are you saying. Austin?" Mommy asked.
"The short of it is the district attorney doesn't feel he could win a guilty verdict.
"However," Daddy said sitting hard on the desk chair and looking at the desk. "he told Grant he put on the best show he could muster. and he's gotten the Fieldses to agree to send Duncan to psychological counseling for at least a year."
"Psychological counseling," Mommy repeated, spitting it out like a sour apple.
"Grant says that under the circumstances, the way they were described to him, we're lucky to get that. Of course, the school did expel him, but he'll be in some other school within a week or so. Probably pretty far away, maybe in Europe again."
"How disgusting," Mommy muttered.
"There's more." Daddy said. "Haskins called and offered us twenty thousand dollars if we'll let it go and not drag the school into any civil suit. I had Grant call him back because I didn't want to speak to him and they've already raised it to forty-five thousand."
"I don't want to put Summer through any more of this. Austin," Mommy said.
"No. but I hate the thought of taking their money so I told Grant to tell them we'd agree if the money was donated to Women's Shelter in the Storm, the organization to protect and defend abused women."
"That's a very good idea," Mommy said. She looked at me.
"Summer, we're talking about all this as if you didn't have a word to say."
"It's all right with me. Mommy." I said. "He's a liar though."
She nodded.
"Grant has told your mother." Daddy said to Mommy. "She wanted to come down to see Summer right away, but I thought we could use a few quiet days before we see anyone."
"That's wise. Austin."
"What if... something happens to me. Mommy?" I asked.
They were both quiet, both immediately understanding that I was worried about getting pregnant. The look on their faces revealed how much they didn't want to think about it.
"We'll have to wait to see, of course, but if it does, we'll deal with it then," Mommy said quickly.
Daddy lifted his fist and slammed it down so hard on the desk. I thought it might split into two pieces. Everything jumped, some things falling over. Mommy gasped and brought her hand to her throat.
"I can understand why some people are driven to murder." Daddy said, his lips so taut with rage that little white dots appeared in the corners. "or at least why so many people favor the death penalty."
"None of that is going to do you, me or Summer any good now. Austin. Please."
He nodded,
"I know. I wish there was more I could do for you, baby." he said to me.
"I know you've done and are doing all you can. Daddy."
"Let's all take a deep breath," Mommy said. "and try to carry on with our lives. Maybe we'll all take a trip, go to the seashore or one of the islands," she suggested.
"Yeah," Daddy said. "Okay."
He rose and went back to the window. Mommy looked at me and then turned to leave the office.
"Oh," Daddy said, turning back to us, "I have some things to check at the health club office. just be gone an hour or so," he said.
"Don't be too long. Austin. Mrs. Geary's working hard to make dinner extra special for us tonight."
"I'll be there. I'll even be hungry," he promised. He was smiling at us, but there were tears icing his eyes.
Mommy went to rest in the sitting room and I returned to my bedroom. I didn't cry anymore. I just sat by my window and looked out at the lake. I wondered how I would ever kiss another boy, hold his hand or permit him to embrace me. Would I shake and panic just at the thought of going on a date? Could time and a thousand bubble baths ever wash away the shock and the violation?
My dark thoughts were interrupted when I heard the doorbell ring. I rose and went to look down the stairway to see who it was. I was expecting it to be Harley. who I imagined had decided he couldn't wait to visit. Mrs. Geary was there opening the door. It was Uncle Roy.
"Is Mrs. Clarke downstairs?" he asked her.
"I'm here. Roy," Mommy said. "It's okay. Mrs. Geary." she added and wheeled up to the sitting room doorway.
He waited until Mrs. Geary was gone and then turned quickly to Mommy.
"What happened to Summer? Why is she home from music school?" he asked with a firmness. I wondered chat Mommy would say and lingered to listen.
"Come into the living room. Roy," she told him and he followed behind her.
I came down the stairs slowly and stopped midway when I could hear their voices. It wasn't just curiosity. I really wanted to see how Mommy was.
"There was an incident at the music school," she began. At first I thought Uncle Roy was speaking too low for me to hear, but it was just a long pause.
"What sort of an incident?"
"A very bad one involving a boy."
Mommy's voice began to crack. I rose, undecided about whether I should go back to my room or just run to her. I descended a few more steps and listened hard.
"Tell me about it," Uncle Roy said. I could hear Mommy start to sob.
"Easy, Rain," Uncle Roy said in the most gentle, soft and caring voice I had ever heard him utter. "We've been through hard times together. We both know what it's like."
"I know. Roy." She paused and blurted. "She was raped. She went for what she thought would be an innocent walk with a boy after curfew hours, and he managed to get her into his car where he violated her."
"Damn." Uncle Roy said. "Did they get the boy?"
"Yes, but it's complicated. Roy."
"So he's getting away with it?" Uncle Roy quickly concluded. "Another rich boy getting away with something?"
Life was black and white to him. In his world people were either weak or strong, right or wrong, rich or poor. There was little room for compromise.
"We can't put her through any more pain. Roy. Austin is beside himself over it. I'm worried about him. too. I keep thinking it's all the curse, Roy."
"I know you would think that. You once told me we couldn't be man and wife because it would bring down all the wrath of God on our heads. You couldn't think of me as anything but your brother, even after..."
"Please. Roy," Mommy said. I was holding my breath. Even after what?
"I know, I know. I got to keep it all under lock and key in this heart of mine. I can't see how any worse could have happened to you. Rain. All right, where's this boy live?" he asked.
"He's gone by now, Roy, probably out of the country. You're right about it. His parents are wealthy people who just keep protecting him, getting him out of trouble. There's a curse for you."
"Their money keeps solving it though." Uncle Roy said bitterly. "Not forever. Roy. It will come back on them someday."
"Yeah,' he said skeptically. "Right. Never mind all that for now. How's she doing?"
"She's strong, Roy."
"She's your daughter. She got to be strong. She could have been mine, too," he said sadly. "Why does someone so good have to be hurt like this?" he raged.
I heard Mommy start to sob and then Uncle Roy go "Easy, Rain. easy."
I was at the foot of the stairs now. I inched forward to the doorway and peered in to see Uncle Roy on his knees in front of Mommy, embracing her so firmly, she was pressed to him, her face on his shoulder. He stroked her hair and then he kissed her on the cheek, his lips pressed to her face and moving down closer and closer toward her lips until he kissed her there.
"Rain." he said still holding her. "if only we could have made more of that time in England and..."
Mommy opened her eves and saw me standing there, "Summer!" she cried.
I turned and ran to the front door.
"Summer, honey!"
I closed the door behind me and hurried down the steps and out of the reach of our front lights. I rushed around the house and ended up in the gazebo, my heart thumping.
Why was I so upset and disturbed? I always believed in my heart that Uncle Roy was capable of being gentle and caring. He always spoke softly, lovingly to Mommy. It was the way a brother should be, wasn't it? Even though he wasn't a blood relation, he had grown up with her as his sister. A brother could hold and kiss his sister to comfort her, couldn't he?
But there was something more in the way he held her and kissed her, and what was he talking about? What had happened between them in England?
My whole world had gone topsy-turvy in minutes. It was as though everyone I knew wore masks, and the masks were falling away. I felt dizzy and weak and I had to lie down. My heart was still racing. Minutes later. I heard the door open and close. Uncle Roy came down the steps and started to call far me.
"Summer. Your mama wants you to come back inside. Summer, where are you?"
I didn't answer. I sat there, my blood racing, my pulse throbbing in my neck.
He called me again and then he started toward his own house, his head down. I sat back, my arms folded under my breasts and just stared down at the gazebo floor.
"I thought you were so sick," I heard. At first I thought I had imagined it.
When I turned. I saw no one for a moment or two, Then Harley moved out of the shadows toward me.
"Harley? What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Summer. What's going on? I saw you come running out of your house. then I heard Roy screaming for you," he continued as he approached the gazebo. He paused at the railing and waited.
My tongue seemed pasted to the roof of my mouth. It had gone on str
ike if I dared to utter another lie. I thought.
"I didn't come home because I was sick. Harley. Not exactly," I added.
He continued to stare. Then he nodded.
"I know," he said. "I felt that when you spoke to me before and then. when Roy learned you were back. I saw how concerned he quickly became. Are you going to tell me the truth?"
"Yes," I said. "but its not easy to talk about it."
"Okay," he said. "I'll be patient."
He hopped over the railing and sat beside me.
"There's nothing you can do about it. Harley Arnold, so I don't want you rushing off on your motorcycle and make me feel terrible for telling you. I couldn't stand another troubled thought."
"Uh-huh," he said.
"I mean it. I want you to promise with all your heart and I want you to know that if you break your promise. I won't talk to you anymore or care about you or anything."
"Okay," he said.
"Okay. what? Do you promise?"
"I promise," he said with great reluctance.
"I did a bad thing. I went for a walk with a boy after curfew."
"That's it?" he asked quickly grimacing.
"No," I said.
"What else?"
"I was more stupid. I let him talk me into looking at his new van and when I got into it..."
"What?" My silence filled in the blanks very quickly. "He did something to you?"
I nodded.
"Remember your promise," I warned him. Even in the darkness. I could see his rage building. I certainly could feel the heat of it.
"Well, what did they do? I mean the school, the police?"
"He was expelled from the school.*
"And?"
"He's been sent to a year of counseling," I added.
"That's it? What's his name?"
"No one can do any more about it. Harley." "What's your father doing about it?"
"He's done all he can and so has Grandpa Grant."
"You should have told me right away," he said. "Weren't you ever going to tell me?"