The branch dipped and Rafe nearly went flying.
He motioned at the stump of Fitz's rear leg. "Former patient?"
I nodded. "He can climb up fine, but getting down is another story. My mom designed a tree house for him. Once it's made, I can stop doing this."
Fitz jumped down and the branch bobbed again. Rafe heaved himself up, face coming nearly to mine, then he stopped and he looked at me, and it was like the last twelve hours vanished and we were back on that roof, before everything happened, staring at each other, my heart tripping.
He smiled, and it was that crooked, sexy-shy smile again, and I forgot about backing out of the way. Forgot why I should back out of the way. He lifted himself up until we were face-to-face, then closed his eyes and leaned forward. That's when my brain clicked on and I jerked back fast enough to make the branch dip.
His eyes flew open, and he saw the look on my face and his gaze dropped as he mumbled. "Sorry."
I lowered myself to stand beside him, just out of reach.
"I didn't do it," he said.
"And you'd admit it if you did?"
He swore. I glanced at the house. If my mom looked out, she could see us. If I screamed, she'd hear me. If we talked, though, she couldn't listen in. Good.
I sat beside him, legs dangling.
"That's the problem, isn't it?" he said, sitting, too. "I can say it wasn't me, but I'd say that even if it was. I've been up all night, trying to figure out how I can prove it. I can't. I had access to your drink. I wanted to be alone with you. Whatever that drug did to you, I'm the one who benefited. No one else."
I couldn't argue with that, but he looked at me, like he was hoping I would.
"I wouldn't do that, Maya. Sure, you don't know me that well, but you said it yourself--I get a girl and I back off before I can collect the payoff. I don't need to dose girls." He stopped. "That sounded unbelievably arrogant, didn't it?"
"Kinda. But if you're trying to say that only guys who can't get girls drug them, you're wrong. It's not always about that. You're new in town. You're trying to fit in, make an impression. You've heard I don't go with local guys. You've probably heard I don't make out with near strangers at parties. Maybe that's the impression you wanted to make. The cool stud who can get any girl."
"Sure, if I want Daniel making an impression of my head in the nearest wall. If he caught me kissing you and he wasn't convinced it was your idea, then I'm on his blacklist. Which means I'm on his friends' blacklist. I'm on your friends' blacklist. I'm on the blacklist of everyone who doesn't want to piss off you, him, or your friends. In this town, that seriously limits my social circle."
He had a point.
He continued, "Yeah, I've done dumb things, as I admitted last night, but think about it--if I dosed you and got you alone, would I have started rambling on like I did?"
Another good point.
"Yes, I know your reputation," he continued. "So when we started heating up, I knew something might be wrong. That's why I asked if you'd been drinking. Even when you said no, I wasn't sure, but, hell, of course I wanted to think you were just that into me."
Definitely a valid point.
"And, let's be totally honest. If a guy gives a girl a roofie, he's not looking for a make-out session. If my hands weren't wandering by that point, they weren't going to."
He shifted on the branch. "I wish I could prove I didn't do it, Maya, but I can't. I can only say that it doesn't make sense. I'd risk getting the crap beat out of me by Daniel, becoming a total social outcast, and maybe even getting arrested and losing Annie. As much as I like you, one make-out session isn't worth that. And I do like you, meaning one make-out session definitely isn't worth that if it'd be the last one I'd ever get."
He looked at me, like he was expecting to see something in my face, and when he didn't, he frowned. "I do like you, Maya. You get that, right?"
"Why?"
His frown deepened. "Why what?"
"Why do you like me?"
He laughed. "Do you want a list? Smart, pretty, funny--"
"That's not what I--" I shook my head. "Never mind."
It sounded like I was fishing for compliments. But something about this bugged me. Hot new guy comes to school, checks out all the girls and decides I'm the one he really, really wants. It was the ultimate fantasy, which meant there had to be an angle I was missing.
Maybe it was as simple as him wanting the girl who didn't want him. I didn't know. But it bothered me. And what bothered me even more was this little part inside me that didn't really care why he was interested, was just happy that he was.
I jumped out of the tree and got two steps away before Rafe followed, catching my sleeve and saying, "Maya?"
I turned.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he said. "About the dosing."
"No, I do."
He grinned that mesmerizing grin and when I didn't move, his fingers wrapped around my elbow and he tugged me behind the tree. Before I knew it, my back was against the trunk, and he was in front of me, lips coming down to mine.
I sidestepped fast. "No."
His lips quirked in a smile. "What? You want dinner and a movie first now?"
"You think that's funny?"
The smile vanished. "Course not. I just--"
"Think we should be able to jump back to where we were, because maybe I was dosed and maybe we went a little further and a lot faster than I like, but it's still where I wanted to go. That's what you think happened, isn't it? I wanted it--I just couldn't admit it."
He stepped back and ran his hands through his hair, and I knew that's exactly what he thought. But he said, "I don't know what happened."
"Neither do I. That's my point. I have no idea how much of it was me, and how much of it was the drug."
He stepped in front of me again, hands sliding around my waist. "Let's find out, then."
I backed out of his grasp. "You aren't getting this, are you?"
"No, Maya, I'm not."
"Then I think you should leave."
He sighed. "Now what did I do?"
"Nothing. I just ... I need you to back off." I softened my tone. "I'll talk to you at school tomorrow, okay?"
"But I'm here now."
"What? Are you on a schedule?"
"Course not." He stepped toward me. "I like you, Maya."
"You keep saying that."
"And it's a problem? I don't get this. Do you expect me to just wait until you figure things out?"
"No. I expect that if you're interested enough, you'll wait; and if you aren't, you won't. Your choice."
"And it doesn't matter to you one way or the other."
"I never said--"
He waved off my protest, and strode into the forest. The crackle of twigs continued until his footsteps receded into silence.
I stood there, staring after him long after he'd gone. Finally Kenjii came over and nudged my hand. I patted her head and walked back toward the house.
"Maya?" Mom called as she stepped onto the porch and looked around. "Is Rafael still here?"
I shook my head. She squinted, trying to see my expression, but I stayed in the shadow of Fitz's tree.
"You should come in and have some breakfast," she said.
"I'm not hungry," I said. "I'll check on the animals."
SEVENTEEN
IN THE EXCITEMENT OF the cougar attack, then my party, I'd forgotten about the marten, but when I went back into the shed that morning, I couldn't deny that the wound was completely healed. Even the scar was white now, as if the injury were weeks old.
The right thing to do would be to examine her leg, then let her go. But after what happened the last time, it took ten minutes before I could bring myself to touch the marten. When I did, nothing happened. I checked the wound and picked out the stitches. The marten just lay there, calm and patient.
I don't release animals here. That encourages them to stick around. Even with Fitz, I'd let him go on the other side of the park. B
ut he'd found his way back, and after a second relocation failed, I'd given up.
I had a cat carrier for transporting the small animals to their release points. I made sure the cage had been cleaned out last time--I'd learned my lesson after having nearly given a rabbit heart failure by putting it in a carrier filled with fox hair.
Before I reached into the marten's cage, I was so busy trying to mentally distract myself that I'd forgotten to glove up. As my hands went around the marten, the room swirled into darkness. I smelled damp earth and wet grass. Heard the scream of an eagle and my heart beat faster, legs pumping as I ran, the grass lashing me. Then--too late--I smelled it. Humans. I tried to veer for a tree, but something hit my back leg, pain--
I jolted from the vision. As I stumbled back, I looked around frantically, terrified that I'd dropped the marten. But she was still in her cage, head cocked in confusion.
The door opened and a voice said, "Hey."
I spun. Daniel stood silhouetted in the doorway. I glanced at the carrier, then the marten. I waved Daniel back out and followed.
We walked to the porch, where Fitz lay stretched out on the railing. He hopped off and strolled over as we sat down. I said nothing for a moment, my mind still back in the shed.
Daniel cleared his throat. "Your mom said Rafe was here. Proclaiming his innocence?"
"I think he's right."
I tensed for the outrage. Daniel just waited for me to explain. I didn't detail every point but emphasized what I figured would be the best evidence to prove it to a teenage guy--that Rafe hadn't tried anything more than kissing.
"Nothing?" Daniel said.
I shook my head. "It was just kissing. And he asked if I'd been drinking. If I'd said yes, I think he would have stopped."
Again, I waited for the outburst. Was I crazy? Clearly Rafe was the one who dosed me.
Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right. I don't like the guy, but ..." He shrugged.
"Your bad-guy radar isn't pinging?"
"No," he said, almost regretfully. "I'm not convinced he did this either, and if you agree ..."
"I do. But who else could it have been?"
"Well, I might have an idea, which is why I'm willing to give Rafe the benefit of the doubt, and part of the reason I came over. Nicole stopped by this morning to see if I needed help cleaning up. I think what she really wanted was to tell me something about last night. When I was in the kitchen, getting you a drink, Hayley was hanging around. She could have slipped something in while I was grabbing my beer."
"Nicole said that?"
"Not in so many words. I had to really work to even get her to admit she'd seen Hayley near your drink."
"Didn't want to tattle on her friend."
"Exactly. But when she got to thinking about it, it made sense. Hayley works at the clinic with Nicole sometimes, and she says Hayley has sneaked into the drug room before. Nicole figured she's been getting Ritalin or Demerol, so she kept her mouth shut."
"Only there are other drugs in there, too. Hayley's jealous because Rafe's taking an interest in me. Rafe left the party, so she thought she could slip roofies in my drink and I'd hook up with Brendan. She could tell Rafe about it, and he'd change his mind about me."
"Then Rafe shows up again and it backfires."
I nodded. "Hayley is the most likely suspect, but it's not enough to tell Chief Carling. I just need to keep my eye on her."
"We both will. I'll tell the guys, too."
"Good. That's settled." I stood. "Let's grab some food. Then I need to talk to you."
Daniel got up. "About you and Rafe ..."
"There is no me and Rafe. Surprise, surprise."
I turned to go, but Daniel snagged my arm.
"You liked him," he said.
I exhaled. "Honestly, I don't know. Yes, I invited him to the party, and I'm sorry about not warning you--"
"It was an open invitation. Everyone knew that. Sure, I was surprised. I didn't think you were interested in him."
"I wasn't. Not that way. Just ... something happened at school Friday and--" I shook my head. "The less I think about Rafe, the better, so let's eat. Then afterward--"
I want to talk about Serena. About how she died. I need answers.
The words formed in my head, but wouldn't complete the journey out. Was bringing Daniel in on this the right thing to do? It was the natural thing--he was my best friend and I could use his help. But was it selfish? What if he was happy with the answers he had, if dragging him into some amateur investigation would only remind him of her and--
"Maya?"
"S-sorry. I just ..." I shook my head. "Never mind."
"You wanted to say something."
"It's okay. I changed my mind."
He pulled back, barely a fraction, but I knew he was hurt.
Why was it so easy to do that these days? For both of us. He wouldn't want to talk about something, and I'd be hurt. Or I wouldn't want to talk about something, and he'd be hurt. Or he'd invite me along with the guys, and I'd analyze every nuance of his voice and expression, worrying that he really didn't want me along, was only being polite. Or, like the other night, I'd want to comfort him, but would be worried about how he might misinterpret that.
It never used to be like this. Maybe that's just part of having a close friend of the opposite sex. As a kid, you don't think anything about it. Then you're a teenager, and you can't help but think about it.
I don't want to lose our friendship just because we're older now, but sometimes I swear I can feel Serena there and--
"Something happened in the shed." I blurted it without thinking.
"What?"
I laughed uneasily. "That didn't sound good, did it? Cue the ominous music." I shook my head. "Never mind. It was silly."
I tried to walk away, but he caught my arm and when he turned me to face him, his expression sent a chill slithering down my spine. It was concern, yes. But behind that, rage simmered.
"Was it Rafe?" he said, his voice so low it was almost a growl. "Did he try something this morning?"
"What? No." When he didn't look convinced, I said, "Come on, Daniel. If he tried anything, do you really think I'd protect him? Give me a little credit, please."
"Sorry." He released my arm and the anger faded. Then he blinked. "The shed. Do you mean like what happened the other day? When you passed out?"
I hesitated. Part of me wished I'd never mentioned it, but a bigger part was glad I had. I told him everything.
When I finished, I waited for his reaction. Was I afraid he'd laugh? Worry about my mental health? I knew better. I knew Daniel.
He listened without interrupting. Then he quietly processed it, sitting beside me on the deck, ignoring Kenjii and Fitz as they approached.
"Okay, the healing thing seems weird," he said finally. "But I think it seems weirder to you than it does to me. You're good at healing animals. Who knows why? If you're getting even better at it, well, it's not like you're hurting them. It bugs you, though, so I say hold off on releasing the marten. We'll take it to Dr. Hajek and see if there's a scientific explanation. Chances are she'll just say the same thing she always does. Some people have a gift. You obviously do."
He stretched his legs, getting comfortable now. "Same goes for the visions or whatever they are. You're more freaked out about them than I am." He paused. "Well, no. I'm a little freaked out, but only because they seem to come with a sudden lack of consciousness, which could be dangerous. Remember what I said about getting your parents in there with you? That goes double now."
"And otherwise I should just ignore the fact that every time I touch an animal, we do a body swap?"
"Not a body swap. You're seeing memories, I think."
"You know what I mean."
He stretched out farther, leaning back on the porch now, face gathered in thought. It was a minute before he spoke again. "It could be temporary. Maybe stress related. If it's not, I guess you'll have to learn to handle it. It could be part of
the healing power. Imagine how helpful it would be if you actually saw what happened to the animals when they were hurt."
"Uh-huh. Visions. That strikes you as just a normal extension of a healing gift."
He sighed. "I don't know what you want me to say, Maya. Does it seem strange? Yes. Do I think you're going nuts? No. Maybe I should be taking this more seriously but ..." He shrugged. "It doesn't seem serious."
He meant it didn't feel serious. That was what mattered for Daniel. What did his gut instinct tell him? He wouldn't say that, because it sounded all touchy-feely, but it was the way he processed things. Healing an animal in less than a week and seeing visions of its trauma seemed seriously weird to me. If it didn't to him, though, how could I argue with that?
"Like I said, the passing-out part does worry me," he continued. "You might want to visit the clinic about that."
"Just don't mention the visions if I want to stay off Dr. Fodor's couch."
"Exactly. Now, let's get some food. There's something I need to talk to you about."
EIGHTEEN
I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF cooking lunch. Well, making sandwiches or popping something in the microwave. Daniel could do the whole operating a stove and mixing ingredients routine. Mom insisted on making lunch, though. Dad insisted on supervising, asking me to set the table, pour drinks, et cetera.
Normally, not their style, but they were worried about me and knew I didn't react well to hearing "I'm worried." They were using meal prep as an excuse to make me hang out in the kitchen with them.
The conclusion, I believe, was that I might have been upset by something to do with Rafe or the party, but I was fine now. Well, maybe not completely fine, but enough for them to back off, which they did, letting us take our lunch outside.
"I found this shoved under our front door this morning," Daniel said after we settled on the porch.
It was Mina Lee's business card. My pulse sped up. I forced myself to sound casual as I asked, "You think we should meet? Figure out what she wants?" I paused, as if considering it. "That's not a bad idea."
"Turn it over."
I did. On the back, she'd written the name of a library in Nanaimo, a Dewey decimal reference code, and a page number.
"Huh?" I said.
"Exactly. I called her. No answer. Called again on the way here and her phone's either turned off or she's out of range."
"Which isn't that strange out here. We should call Corey. See where she's staying."