Page 17 of Surrender

Page 17

When she finished her pep talk, she stepped from the car and walked through the covered parking to the elevator. Never before had the thought of being alone at night bothered her, but Rafe’s warnings had stirred up a sense of unease which irritated her even more with the man.

The door opened and she stepped inside, pushing Rafe from her mind as she tried to silently rehearse what she was going to say to her mother. She hadn’t given up just yet. She’d simply have to try that much harder to work something out. There was no way she was letting go of her mom without a fight. There had to be programs available to help her take care of her mom. Heck, she’d sleep in her car if that’s what it would take.

With growing determination in each step, she walked the long hallway to her mother’s hospital room, then paused outside her door to take a long steadying breath. She couldn’t let her mom know there was anything to be worried about. Her mother had raised Ari right, now it was Ari’s turn to take care of her mom.

She slowly opened the door, then sighed with relief to see she was sleeping. It gave Ari more time to think before she had to try and make conversation. She sat in the lounge chair in the corner and waited for her mom to wake. With the lights turned off, and the rhythmic beeping of the machines, Ari didn’t last long, falling asleep without being any closer to getting answers. She didn’t stir when a nurse came in and covered her up.

*****

“Ari?”

Arianna awoke instantly at the fragile sound of her mother’s voice. It was beautiful and something she feared she’d never hear again. She couldn’t imagine living a life without her mother being a part of it.

Her father had walked out on them when she was too young to remember and it had been her mom and her ever since. She couldn’t survive without the woman who’d raised her – or at least she wouldn’t want to. Who would she share her triumphs with, and who would hold her when her heart was broken?

“I’m right here, Mom. ” Ari scooted her chair next to her mother’s bed and gently gripped her hand.

“I’m glad, baby. I bet I’ve put you through too much worrying already. If I know you, and of course I do, then you’ve been chewing off your nails and stressing out since the accident. It’s my job to take care of you, and I haven’t been doing that these last six months. ”

“Mom, it’s my turn to worry about you, not the other way around. I know you told me not to worry, but I can’t help it. If I wouldn’t have gone to that stupid party and then called you up in the middle of the night, you never would’ve been hurt. I know you told me to quit stressing about it, but it’s still eating me alive. I can’t say enough how sorry I am,” she sobbed as she leaned her head down and placed it on their joined hands.

“Arianna Harlow, do you know how upset I’d be with you if you hadn’t called me? I’m your mother, and it’s my job to protect you, watch out for you and ensure your safety. Just because you’re twenty-three now, doesn’t mean that you aren’t still my little girl. Don’t you know that I would die for you? There’s nothing a mother won’t do for her child. ”

“But I screwed up,” Ari sobbed.

“Ah, Sweetheart, you’ve been a picture perfect child from the moment you came home in my arms the day you were born. You rarely cried, were respectful, worked hard in school, and were always the dream child. You were living your life, growing up a bit. Don’t let this one small detour put a roadblock in front of you. Live your life to the fullest and achieve your dreams, no matter what happens to me. ”

“I don’t know how to do anything without you,” Ari insisted.

“Yes you do. I know this because I’m the one who raised you, and I raised you to be independent and to succeed in whatever you set out to achieve. You can and will do anything your heart desires. If something does happen to me, I forbid you mourning me for too long. That would break my heart into a million pieces. Even if I get taken from this world a little too soon, I’ll always be with you, watching out for you and making sure you’re safe. Just promise me that you’ll live!”

Ari looked at her mother’s pale face, not knowing how to respond. She couldn’t promise her mother that she’d continue living, because she couldn’t make it without her. It was the first time Ari ever remembered her mom asking something of her that she couldn’t do.

“I’m serious, Ari. I want you to live your life for you. Enough of this guilt eating you up inside. Enough of all this sadness. I need to hear some good news so please tell me how school is going?”