“Okay,” Corky said. “Who wins? What’s the answer? I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you because I’m not really, the fact that I’ll kill myself if you pick him shouldn’t enter into your thoughts one way or the other.”
She smiled. “You’re really wonderful, y’know that?”
“I feel my chances just went up a notch.”
“Well you must be something pretty special, because we’ve been together for a fat forty-eight hours after a little absence of fifteen years and we weren’t exactly intimate then, and you get me to lie for you and sleep with you and the most incredible thing of all, you got me, today, to thinking, which I have been avoiding with ease for most of my natural life.”
“I think I just lost the notch,” Corky said.
“You gotta try and understand my decision, Cork, ’cause it didn’t come easy. I’ve drunk more coffee in more luncheonettes and driven more miles and argued with myself and screamed out loud in the car—true—and let me get to it.”
Corky nodded.
“Okay. Duke: married all these years, not the best advertisement for the tradition but till today he never hit me and I think—don’t laugh—he cares. I married him when he was riding high, now he’s pretty low, makes me kind of a terrific fella to do that. That’s what Duke would think anyway and I’m not sure he’s wrong.”
“Can I say something?”
“You can shut up, please, I’m doing my best. Okay. You: talented and terrific and on the come and listen, it wasn’t just that for a second there our thoughts touched like you said it happened with your Merlin and his wife, that was important, sure, but the truth is, I don’t know a whole lot in this world but if you don’t love me, I don’t know anything. Question: for how long? Answer: none possible. Problem: what if it stops.”
“It won’t.”
“You can’t know that. People change when they get famous and no doubt about it, you’re gonna get famous and I’m not fifteen anymore, Corky, you think I am but I’m twice that and my breasts are starting to sag.”
“I can prove otherwise with my own hands.”
“You don’t see me, that’s the damn point. You see her, Peggy the cheerleader; well what happens when that stops? Don’t say ‘it won’t stop,’ I’m working to my climax.
“Okay. It crossed my mind during my endless driving that here’s the situation: Duke’s not perfect and you’re maybe not gonna be perfect either. But then it hit me: I’m miserable anyway, Corky. So why should I stick around, it’s my life. I’m taking off.”
“With me, right?”
“Get this please: I’m leaving, and you’re leaving, so it happens we’ll go together but I’m not running out on Duke because he’s at the bottom, I’m going because I’m at the bottom, so it happens by coincidence that you and I are heading the same direction, out, and if it works that we stay headed that same direction, terrific, but if it doesn’t, the world’s not ending for me, which is what I was afraid of, going off and leaving one guy and then getting dumped by another and not having the first one around to take me back but that’s no problem, not anymore, ’cause if I get dumped, I’m not coming back.”
Corky blinked. “My God, you mean I win?”
“If I’m a prize, then you’re the winner.” She leaned back wearily, closed her eyes. “And as soon as I finish explaining all this to Duke, we can take off …”
14
“Gee,” Corky said, “do you think you ought to put yourself through all that?”
“I owe him that much.”
“But you’re tired, you know you are. I think you’re just letting yourself in for a real emotional bloodbath. Call him when we’re settled somewhere decent. Or write him a long letter; that’s what I’d do.”
She looked at him. “I’ve done dumb things all my life, not faced up to stuff. Today’s about the hardest day I ever had but I feel really good about it, Corky. I’ve got to make Duke understand this—for my own good as well as his pride. He’s got to know he didn’t get dumped for another guy. We failed together. He’s got to hear that from me.” She looked at her watch. “He’ll be home soon, it’s getting dark, you can’t hunt a whole lot when that happens.”
“I wish you’d let me convince you I was right.”
She went into his arms, held him a moment. “You go on back to the cabin and get ready. I’ll pack too. He’ll come in and we’ll talk and then I’ll come get you and g’bye.”
“Hello,” Corky said, and kissed her.
She kissed him back, then broke it. “Go on now. Please.” He started for the door. “How come the Rolls-Royce people never showed?”
Corky smiled at her. “That was gonna be my surprise. I called the Postman when you were gone and said could he cancel them and would he trust me to take the car awhile—”
“And he said yes?”
“He’s awfully fond of me. He’s only charging me fifty cents a mile.”
Peggy started laughing. “Peggy Snow riding off into the sunset with a man who loves her and an eighty-thousand-dollar car.” She sighed. “Into each life some rain must fall.”
“I love you,” he called as she started upstairs.
“You better, you bastard.” He waved from the front door, left, closing it behind him.
“What was all that about?” Fats asked when Corky got back to the cabin.
“Nothing important. Just the future.”
“And. And?”
Corky got his suitcase out of the closet.
“She’s leaving him?” Fats cried out. “Fantastic.”
Corky made a little bow.
“Unbefuckinglievable.”
“You think I’m not a little shaky?”
“So what now?”
“I figure we kind of tool off in the Rolls and get to know each other some.”
“Where though—where are we going?”
“Don’t get emotional, but I was kind of wondering if you’d mind if it was just a honeymoon for two.”
“What’s the punch line?”
“Dead serious.”
“You mean leave me behind?”
“I asked you not to get emotional. I just think it wouldn’t hurt for me and Peg to get to know each other alone.”
“You drive a hot white Corniche around you’ll get to know the inside of a jail cell, period. You can’t go without me, Cork—Jesus, who’ll do your thinking—admit it, you hadn’t figured that about the stolen car.”
Corky shrugged, started packing. “So I’ll dump it somewhere in a couple of days, big deal. No one’s looking for it now. I’ll leave it in a nice slum area, believe me, someone’ll find a use for it and Peg and I will be long gone. I want to show her Paris.”
“You sound like MauricefuckingChevalier—you’ve never been to Paris yourself, schmucko—what is this ‘show her’ routine?”
“I just want to be with her. The rest of the world can take care of itself.”
“Hey, you’re serious.”
Corky nodded.
“Aw come on, Corky, this is me.”
“I know. Don’t think this is easy.”
“Then why are you doing it at all?”
Corky sighed. “Because, frankly, there’ve been times when you’ve been almost too strong for me. You’re a very imposing force and it’s scary—I want to try getting a little objectivity.”
“You don’t dare leave me.”
“Please don’t make this terrible.”
“I’ll tell—I swear—in the middle of the act some night when you don’t expect it I’ll tell every goddam thing you’ve done up here—I mean it, Corky—”
Quietly, Corky said, “I don’t think so.”
“What makes you so goddam confident?”
“Because I’m doing a single from now on.”
Fats didn’t say anything.
“I think I’ve got the confidence to try it now. Peggy gives that to me. I did some coin stuff for her that was really charming. It’s her, Fats. That’s wha
t she can do for me. I’m going to grab it while I can.”
“You want me to beg?”
“Don’t go on—”
“—Christ, kid, remember where you were before I came on the scene? The gas was on.”
“… I know …”
“You’re killing me, you know that?—I saved you—I was present at the creation—you just can’t dump me now that you’re on top—”
“I’m not on top—I’ve always bombed without you before, maybe I will again, all I’m saying is I want to try.”
“Hey Cork … puh … please … keep me around at least … I can help … throw in a few lines maybe now and then … that’s not something you can’t live with …”
Corky kept on packing.
“… I’m praying … please God change your mind … please God say okay, Fats, you can tag along … please …”
Corky shook his head.
“Christ, do you know what loneliness is?”
Corky looked at Fats and nodded. “I been there myself,” Corky said. “But no more …”
An hour later Peg came knocking. “I don’t understand. I’m packed, I’m ready, I’ve practiced my speech till I’m getting bored with it, where is he?”
“Maybe he just hiked a long way and it’s taking longer to get back than you figured.”
“Possible.” She nodded. “Usually he just tromps around this area but sometimes not.”
“I really feel more strongly than ever that you’re facing something you don’t have to face. Be better for us all if we were gone.”
Peg shook her head. “It’s gotta be my way. But …” She stopped.
Corky looked at her to go on.
“I don’t like waiting up there alone, too many memories, kind of scary almost, you mind if I stay down here till he comes?”
“Oh, yeah,” Corky said smiling. “I’d mind that like anything.”
“And in honor of your stay with us,” Fats said, “I’d like to sing a little song of my own composition. It’s called, ‘Duke.’
‘Duke is a spook
Who makes some of us puke
But I won’t sing no more
‘Cause I ain’t got my uke.’ ”
“Not one of your better efforts,” Corky told him.
“Just trying to help little Peggy pass the time.”
“I just hope he’s not out drinking somewhere.”
“There a bar around here?”
“No, but twice last year about this time he went out and he met a couple of other hunters and they had their car and went into Normandy and Duke didn’t come rolling in till one in the morning.”
“What time is it now?” Fats asked.
“Not even six,” Peggy told him.
Fats did his Bette Davis. “Fasten your seat belts everybody; it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
“Who was that supposed to be?”
“That sound you heard was my ego breaking,” Fats said. “That was Ezio Pinza, my dear.”
Peggy broke out laughing.
“Don’t encourage him,” Corky said.
“Okay, all right, I can tell when I’m not appreciated, I just locked my mouth and threw away the key.”
“Thank God for huge favors,” Corky said.
Peggy got up, looked out a window across the lake. “Did he take a flash along, did you notice?”
“All I noticed was the elephant gun he was carrying—it was probably a peashooter but it looked mighty convincing to me. He just indicated like I said, that maybe it would be pleasing to all concerned for me to consider vacating the premises. And if he’d just get back, would I ever vacate.”
“He can’t be much longer,” Peggy said. “Patience above all things.” She sat down at the desk. Corky took the chair. They waited.
At six-thirty Peggy wondered if she should start to worry. Corky said that was up to her.
At seven Peggy said should she call the cops do you think. Corky said he thought she should call the bars. Peggy decided to hell with it.
But she was tensing.
“Goddammit,” she said at seven-thirty.
“Well let’s get the hell out,” Corky answered.
“No.”
“It’s senseless just waiting—”
“I’m aware of your opinion, Corky, you don’t have to say it again—”
“—a little common sense never hurt, Peggy.”
“Ahh, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you,” Fats blasted. “AHHHHHHHHHH at last I know the meaning of it all.”
“I thought you were locked,” Corky said.
“Well somebody’s got to rescue you two from yourselves.”
“And you’re a guaranteed ray of sunshine, is that it?” Corky said.
“Well I don’t want to brag, schmucko, but they didn’t make me social director at Devil’s Island for nothing.”
“Not so good,” Corky said.
“I could always sing my ‘Duke’ song again.”
“Spare us,” Peggy said.
“You’re a tough house but—wait—wait—I’ve got it, we’ll have a Vera Hruba Ralston festival—no, nuts, I forgot my projector.”
Peggy started smiling. “God she was terrible. My mother was a movie freak—she even named me after Peggy Ann Garner.”
“I didn’t know that,” Corky said.
“Well my God, you guys are just beginning with each other—Peg probably doesn’t know you save your toenails—he does—fabulous collection—he’s been written up in Nails Unlimited—that’s kind of the bible of the toenail crowd—it’s a minor subculture, like Star Trek freaks and people who keep Ring Ding wrappers.” He looked at the two of them. “Things are warming up a little, right, right?”
“Some,” Corky admitted.
Fats said to Peg, “Get Corky’s cards, I’ll read your fortune.”
“Does Corky have cards here?”
“Does a bear evacuate in the woods?—notice how I’m toning up my language?—I got to, the Pope’s hot for me to play the Vatican next Holy Week and I don’t want the Pontiff getting pissed at me.” Peggy laughed. “In the case. There should be half a dozen decks.”
“I need to keep in practice,” Corky said as Peg brought back several decks of cards.
“Security blankets and you know it, schmucko.” Peg held out the cards. “Give me a hand,” Fats said, and Corky came up and helped.
“Spread the cards,” Fats said, “so I can concentrate.”
Corky fanned with one hand.
“Hmmm,” Fats said, studying the cards. “The cards tell all.”
“Like what?” Peg asked.
Fats shut his eyes. “Your name … is … it’s coming through clearly, yes, your name is Peggy Ann Blow—oops—”
“The Pope’s gonna love slips like that,” Corky said.
Fats looked at the cards again. “Snow, and you’re—the sex is coming now—a woman.”
“Most definitely,” Corky said.
“And you’re scared,” Fats went on, “about are you doing the right thing, going off with the king of the toenail hoarders but the cards say chances are pretty good because he is a drooler, true, but an honest one, and you are a lady who digs honesty so all in all I would say if you can teach him to take a bath once a week whether he needs it or not, you got as good a shot as anyone of walking off into the sunset together.”
“Thank you,” Peggy said softly.
“Enough treacle,” Fats said. “Corky, entertain us, make a little magic.”
Corky shook his head. “Not in the mood.”
“All right, I’ll do it then.”
“You do magic too?” Peg asked.
Fats shook his head. “Corky does magic, I can only do tricks, self-working stuff mostly, the garbage end of the legerdemain business. How’ll I start? Hmmm.” He closed one eye, tilted his head, paused. Then he said, “What the hell, let’s start with a You Do as I Do.”
“A what?” from Peg.
“Time passers is all
, a series of tricks all with the same basic gimmick, they work great if you don’t know, once you do they’re a yawn.”
“Show me.”
“You want the patter or just the trick?”
“Whatever.”
“The bare bones are kind of nothing, you take two decks and shuffle them separately and then you pick a card from one of the decks and cut the cards and hand me that deck and you take mine and find your card and I take yours and pull the same card from your deck.”
“That’s not a trick,” Peg said.
“It is, believe me,” Fats began—
“—it is not a trick—”
“You’re gonna make me give away the gimmick, you keep on like that,” Fats told her.
“Magic,” Peg said. She was starting to slump down.
“It’s so simple you’re gonna whoopse,” Fats said. “See, the whole secret is that when you shuffle I peek at the bottom card of your deck when you’re shuffling and then when you pick a card well, you’ve put the card you picked on top and complete the cut and that brings the bottom card which I know on top of your card that you know so when you give me your deck, all I have to do is find the card below the bottom card and that’s your card.”
“… lying …”
“I know you can’t believe it,” Fats said, “ ’cause it sounds too dumb to fool anybody but Corky, he makes a big production out of it sometimes, especially when he wants to fuck some broad he’s picked up and he gives a big spiel about how they were meant for each other and he can read her mind and usually the first time he suckers her in by missing and so when he does it she thinks, my God, this is kismet, let’s hit the sack, you can’t believe how much people want to believe in magic, my God, Corky’s fucked stews from coast to coast with that one and …”
And then Peg stood and her determination to withstand attack had been so strong that when it crumbled, there was nothing left behind it, no defense, so the hysteria came fast and her face fell apart and she spun for the door and was halfway up the hill before Corky could grab her but she was a powerhouse by then and he couldn’t keep hold, and he couldn’t get a word in at the door of the main house and he couldn’t hold her tightly enough in his arms on the stairs and when she locked herself in the bedroom he pounded, pleading till his hands bruised but she was weeping far too out of control to hear or care or understand and when Corky finally realized she would not let him in, would never let him in, he found his way back to the cabin and Fats was staring at him as he entered and before Corky could get a word in Fats was screaming, “That was just the beginning” loud and clear.