Corky shook his head. “That was the end.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I would have left you nice before. Comfortable. A warm place, decent, safe. Now I don’t care if the cat gets your eyes.”
“Listen to him.”
“Done talking.”
“Hear me out.”
“Sorry.”
“You’ve got to hear me.”
“Make it fast.”
“I will, I will, more Jesus, but don’t stand hovering like the Frankenstein monster, sit down.”
“No more jokes either,” Corky said, as he sat in the desk chair. Fats was in the overstuffed one, eyes wide open.
“Why do you think I blew the whistle?”
“To cause pain.”
“That’s not the main reason though, why else?”
“Because you were jealous. Because I was leaving you. You were angry. Want me to go on?”
“You’re missing why I did it.”
“Educate me then.”
“You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“It’s a lulu.”
“Hit me, I’m braced.”
“I DID IT BECAUSE I COULD.”
Corky blinked.
Fats started laughing. “You don’t get it yet, do you?”
Corky shook his head.
“WHY DIDNT YOU STOP ME?”
Corky just waited.
“YOU DIDN’T BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T.” Fats was roaring now. “He still doesn’t get it. He’s such a major league dimfuckingwit numskull he’s sitting there and he doesn’t understand. Remember a little ago when you were dumping me you said I was a very imposing force and it’s scary? You said there were times when I was almost too strong for you? Schmucko, I’ve been too strong all along, all those stupid goddam wisdoms you helped me hunt and peck, ‘I’m worried about Corky’ ‘Corky’s afraid of success’ ‘What happens to all those girls Corky sees only once,’ you thought you were faking me when it was ass-back-wards, I was faking you.”
“You got your rocks off now?”
“Not quite. I laid low, kept the quiet profile, things were going good enough, I don’t mind a little limelight sharing when there’s common gain, but then tonight, when I begged you, when I humbled myself and you said tough buddy, I’m out for number one now, well, that tore it. Where was she when the gas was on? I took a nothing, a technical whiz with the charm of Dick Nixon and I created a dazzler. And no two-bit hunk is gonna come along and ladle off the cream. It’s you and me, not you and her, only from now on, it’s gonna be me and you.”
“Think it’s maybe time to change the record?”
“If you’re bored sitting there, by all means walk around.”
Corky started pacing.
“Go in and splash some water on your face, maybe that’ll help arouse your interest.”
Corky went in to the sink, turned on the cold spigot, splashed some water on his face. When he came back out, Fats was laughing. “I must have missed the joke.”
“You are the joke.”
“You’re too fast for the room I guess.”
Fats was laughing so hard now it was hard for him to get the words out. “Those tricks—the ones we told Peggy about, those are called You Do as I Do.”
“Well?”
“You could call our trick You Do as I Say. Sit down, Corky.”
“I don’t feel like it.”
“Have a chair, keed.”
Corky sat in the desk chair.
“Yawn.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Sure y’are.”
Corky yawned, and stretched.
“Attaboy. Crawl.”
Corky started crawling around the floor.
“Imitate me.”
“Hey this is fanfuckingtastic,” Corky said.
“Up and at ’em.”
Corky jumped to his feet.
Fats picked up the rhythm—“Okay skip, okay hop, okay spin around, okay touch the ceiling, touch the floor, Fats says giggle, Fats says stop,” and Corky, after skipping and spinning and giggling stood there catching his breath.
“Believe me now, schmucko?”
Corky nodded.
“It’s our secret, yours and mine. I’ll handle it smooth in public, we’ll never let on. And then in private, I’ll have my little games like this just to remind you that it was a little bit of a boo-boo when you decided to dump me for the broad.”
Corky continued to breathe heavily.
“You can talk now, say whatever you want, as long as I want you to, when I’m bored, we’ll play some more.”
“Lis—”
“—I’m bored, let’s play, get the knives.”
“Knives?”
“The Duker’s, go get ’em.”
Corky went to the kitchenette, brought out the knives.
“What do you think we ought to do with ’em?” Fats said.
“Want me to whittle something?”
“Maybe.”
“I’m very fast. I can make things in a flash. Really.”
“I’m looking for something with a little more pizzazz.”
Corky just stood there waiting.
Fats had to laugh. “What is that whittling shit? Trying to fake me out? Those days is gone, schmucko. I’m with you every step of the way. Now. Tell me. What do you think we ought to do with those nice sharp knives of old Duke’s?”
“Don’t,” Corky said.
“I don’t feel any passion in your tone yet.”
“Please don’t kill her.”
“I would never deprive you of that pleasure, you think I’m cruel or something?”
“I can’t.”
“I got faith in you.”
“She won’t let me in. The door’s locked. It’s thick. I can’t break it down.”
“You’ll use the old noggin. I’m just gonna wait down here nice and comfy and then when you get back, you can tell me all about it.”
“I WON’T.”
“How’s your head, Cork?”
“My head?”
“Yeah. I think you’re getting yourself a little migraine.”
“No. I’m not.” But his left eye was starting to blink.
“Feels like it could be a bad one. One of those gut wrenchers that can go on for days.”
Corky’s hands went to his eye, pressed hard.
“Drop your hands.”
Corky put his hands down.
“It’s getting bad fast, Cork, I can tell. You’re losing color.”
“Please stop it.”
“It’s really drilling deep, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes.”
“Surprise!”
Corky stopped blinking.
“Going away now?”
Corky nodded.
“Not deep at all, right? Almost gone?”
Nod.
“Totally gone?”
Nod.
“Want it back? Want it back a hundred times worse, a hundred times worse and a hundred days long? Yes?”
Shake.
“Then get a wiggle on.”
Corky put the knives in his back trouser pockets, started for the door.
“And do it beautifully,” Fats called.
15
“Duke?” Peggy called when the knock came. She was lying across the bed, tears past, past tears, empty.
“Me.”
Peggy stared at the ceiling.
“I left schmucko down at the cabin. I had to talk to you Peg, open the door, huh?”
“… Duke doesn’t want you here when he gets back, that goes for me now …”
“Duke’s got nothing against me. He laughed at me at breakfast.”
“… I mean it, Corky …”
“I told you, he’s down at the cabin, we’re the only ones that can straighten this out, Peg. That’s why I came up alone.”
To her amazement, Peg started to cry again. Funny; she didn’t think there were any left.
br /> “I’ve got a present that’ll make you smile.”
“… go ’way, Corky …”
“Fats.”
“… all right, go away, Fats.”
“Well, at least that’s done, at least we know who we are.”
Peggy began wondering about Duke, pushing her mind to him, trying to figure how it might work out. They’d sell this place, get beans for it, but maybe enough for a camper, a trailer, something so they could live cheap. Head west maybe to Washington. The country was supposed to be beautiful. Rainy a lot, but—
“Don’t you want my present, Peggy?”
“I don’t want anything, Fats.”
“… Peggy Ann Snow
Peggy Ann Snow
Please let me follow
Wherever you go …”
—but so what if it rained, she’d still have a roof over her head, a man—she groaned. The man would be Duke. Blowing in her ear forever.
“That’s a little poem Corky made up about a jillion years ago. I wanna tell you something: it’s kept him warm a lot. Please take his present. He made it for you to remember him by. He’s leaving, Peg. But would you keep this thing?”
“What thing?”
“A heart. He whittled it for you before he sent me up here. It didn’t take him long, he’s quick with his hands—it’s the second heart he made for you—the first was when he left in high school but he threw it away in case you laughed at it or something.”
She was momentarily, goddammit, touched.
“I’ll just say this last and then I’ll go. The reason I told about the mind reading. Corky was too embarrassed to tell you himself. I lied when I said he’d done it before, that was just to make it as bad as possible. He felt that crappy about himself. But, see, Cork hasn’t got a lot of confidence and he did the mind reading because he didn’t think anyone as perfect as you would look at him otherwise.”
She said nothing but it was true; Corky was always running himself down.
“And Peg, he never thought you’d actually care for him. Then when you did and he’d lied, well, it killed him. It just destroyed him because you hate liars and he hates liars but for love he’d lied and he couldn’t go off with you for the rest of his life with a lie at the foundation. So that’s it. Would you take his heart, Peg? At least if you did, he’d know you understood and didn’t feel contempt for him.”
“Oh I never felt contempt.”
“At least that’s something.”
“Leave it outside the door.”
“You won’t open it then?”
“Just leave it.”
There was a pause. She heard something touch the bottom of the door. “G’bye.”
Peg waited awhile before she said, “You didn’t walk away.”
“Brains as well as boobs.”
Peg caught herself before she smiled.
“—he needs you, Peg. He did stuff for you he never did for anybody—the coins dancing around his fingers—he doesn’t need me anymore—that’s what you mean to him, you give him that much confidence, now take the goddam heart or he’ll die!”
It was really stupid not to at least take it. She’d been talking, was there any difference really in talking to someone through a door or with it open? Who was she kidding? Take the heart, nod, say good-bye. She got off the bed, unlocked the door, opened it and was twice surprised. Once was how lovely the heart was.
But why were the knives in his hand …?
Corky dropped the bloody knives on the overstuffed chair beside Fats. “Take a load off,” Fats said.
Corky walked slowly to the sofa, sat.
“You seem a little glum, a bit morose, don’t be, I got a piece of good news for you.”
Corky only shrugged.
“A: I wanna apologize. I was too rough before. It had to be done, things had to be got shipfuckingshape fast, but all in all, I wasn’t any too delicate and I’m sorry. But the biggie is this: I’m not gonna make you remember.”
Corky nodded.
“I’d like a little more enthusiasm, please. My God, if I wanted to I could have you seeing her corpse and hearing her cry out and all that but I don’t carry a grudge like some people, so I hereby give you my promise I won’t let you remember. Say ‘Thank you.’ ”
“Thank you.”
“Now don’t you feel better?”
Corky shook his head and started to cry. He stretched full out on the sofa and sobbed.
“—aw Laddie, come on now—”
“—please—”
“—don’t go to pieces on me—”
Corky could not stop crying.
“All right, it’s been a big day, get it out of your system.”
Corky kept on sobbing.
“Wanna tell Fats about it?”
“She … liked the heart …”
“You’re a great whittler, she damn well should have.”
“… I pleased her … no tricks … just me …”
“Sure, sure. Feeling a little more under control now?”
Corky nodded.
“Okay, good, pay attention now because I think it’s time we did a little serious changing in the act, so let me hit you with a couple notions: what say we down on the magic and replace it with me doing a couple of snazzy musical numbers, say you like it.”
“I like it.”
“Good, I kind of had a feeling you would because … because …”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know how to say this since I haven’t got a stomach, but my stomach hurts.”
“Bad?”
“Getting … bad.”
Corky’s arm slipped to the floor.
“Getting … real bad now …”
“Yes …”
“… what—is this …?”
“… we’re dying I think is what it is …”
“… dying …?”
“… after I gave her the … heart … on my way back down … I put them deep in me …”
“… Christ it’s spreading … getting worse …”
“… I know …”
“… don’t leave me here alone …”
“… I would … never …”
“… can you get over …?”
Corky slowly used his arms, got across the floor. “… what now …?”
“… put me … flat …”
Corky did his best. “… help any …?”
Fats lay on the soft chair cushion. “… I hope I don’t go first is all …”
Corky had to close his eyes. “… Fats …?”
“… right here, Laddie …”
“… she really liked my heart …”
“… why didn’t you … take off with her then …? you had control … why didn’t you just go …?”
“… cuz … she would never have left with me … I couldn’t face failure again … see, I couldn’t even make her open the door alone … it was never me … always us …”
“… schmucko … us was you …”
“… huh …?”
“… it was you all the time …”
“… you sure …?”
“… trust me for a while …”
16
Peggy lay on the bed for a long time and studied the lovely wooden heart. God he had wonderful hands. She stayed on the bed, turning the heart over and over. Then she got up and examined herself in the mirror. She looked fifty easy, what with the puffy eyes and the wrinkled clothes, but a change of wardrobe could fix the one, Max Factor could go a long way toward helping with the other. When she was pretty again, she put on a nice dress because even though she didn’t love him, Corky’s kind of talent you had to string along with, and with that thought firmly in mind, she went down to the cabin to tell him so …
For Evarts Ziegler
OTHER BOOKS BY
WILLIAM GOLDMAN
FICTION
The Temple of Gold
Your Turn to Curtsy, My Turn to Bow
Soldier in the
Rain
Boys and Girls Together
No Way to Treat a Lady
The Thing of It Is …
Father’s Day
The Princess Bride
Marathon Man
NONFICTION
The Season: A Candid Look at Broadway
SCREENPLAYS
Harper
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
The Hot Rock
The Great Waldo Pepper
All the President’s Men
Marathon Man
A Bridge Too Far
Mr. Horn
PLAYS
Blood, Sweat, and Stanley Poole
(with James Goldman)
A Family Affair
(with James Goldman and John Kander)
FOR CHILDREN
Wigger
William Goldman, Magic
(Series: # )
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