CHAPTER 7
"No, listen to me. Close your eyes. Picture the Wolf inside of you. She is part of you, but separate too. Can you hear her?" Uncle Sean's voice was sharp. I could feel his tension, but what could I do? Trying to talk to my inner Wolf was a bit more complicated than he let on.
"Remember, once you commune with her you should be able to control her better." The idea of control was alien to me. I have never been in control of a single thing that has happened to me in my brief lifetime. My uncle's voice was soothing though and I closed my eyes. At first there was too much going on inside my mind. My parents' death, living with my cousins, being a freak, none of these things were in my control! I tried to focus on the moment and the day's events rushed through my mind like an internal instant replay.
Okay, Grazi, empty your mind like Uncle Sean said. I tried again and saw Sebastian on the track, tanned and gorgeous and smiling at me, then he was replaced by Ronan holding an apple out to me, then the dream with my mom tucking me in. It was like I was running down a tunnel of memories. Empty your mind, Grazi! Concentrate! I saw a brilliant flash of silver light. Then everything went black. All sound and light extinguished, as if I were in a vacuum. I saw a steady stream of white and silver light and I followed it. It was neither cold nor hot, it just was. I trusted it though and it lead me to a large ball of swirling silver mists. The moon. An electric sort of hum settled over me. I saw a Wolf. My Wolf. Large, dark brown with a streak of platinum running down her muzzle. Her coat was thick and beautiful, her eyes a stunning shade of amber, like liquid gold. She grinned. Yes, little one, I am here. I will protect you. I am yours. Her message calmed me. It gave me a feeling of utter strength and purpose.
I gasped and opened my eyes. My uncle was crouched at my feet. Ronan was standing in the corner. He was in a military stance, you know the one, hands clasped behind his back, his legs shoulder width apart. He turned his head towards me. "Is that your first time then? Talking to her?" He grinned, but still carefully avoided making eye contact.
"Yes! She, she, answered me. Spoke to me. I could see her." I wiped my face and felt moisture. Had I cried?
"Very good, Grazi. That was fast." Uncle Sean stood up and picked up another of his large dusty books. He ruffled his hair as he mumbled in what sounded like Latin to me.
"Is that weird? For me to speak to her so fast?" I felt buzzed, like I drank too much coffee. I wanted to go back, speak to her again. Maybe ask some questions.
"Took me nigh on a year to get my Wolf to answer my call. So yeah, I guess it is unusual then. But we didn't expect you to be typical, princess." Ronan shrugged, but seemed impressed.
"Why do you call me that?"
"Call you what?"
"Princess."
"What should I call you then?"
"You can call me Grazi, everyone does."
"Is that your real name?"
"It's Maria Graziana, Grazi is a nickname."
"If you request it of me, of course, I will call you by something else."
"Why 'of course'? You speak as if you have to obey me or something?"
"But I do-"
"Ronan! Non dica verbum!" Uncle Sean snapped his book closed and glared in our direction. I looked from him to Ronan. Ronan rubbed his head and shuffled his feet a little. His head still cocked to the side, glowing green eyes shifted downward.
"Aye, I've got to go, prince-, that is, Maria. I'll be seeing you." He nodded, no he bowed and left the room. His cheeks a little red. Could he be embarrassed? I didn't think so given his performance in music class, but I only just met him. Ronan would have to remain a mystery since he was rushing out of the room like his tail was on fire. Ow, painful imagery!
"Yes, that's a good idea. I'll see you later, Ronan. Don't you be getting up now, Grazi, we've got a bit more to do. A little field trip you might call it." Uncle Sean put his book back down and grabbed his keys. We left the workout room and he locked the door behind us. I followed him outside, past the school grounds to a stretch of woods. It was colder, our breath puffed out in clouds in front of us. I held my backpack on one shoulder and looked around us. The woods were comforting to me where before they would have seemed creepy at this time of day. The dry brittle grass crunched under our feet. First no rain and unbearable heat and now an almost frigid cold. The very earth itself at war with the weather. I watched as Uncle Sean knelt, he picked up a clump of grass.
"Here. Smell." I breathed deep and almost gagged.
"Well girl, what do you smell?" He grinned at me as he dropped the grass and wiped his hands on his jeans.
"It smells like pee, real strong pee," I couldn't believe I was saying that to my uncle. I rubbed my sensitive nose and he laughed.
"Aye, that is fox urine. There must be a den somewhere close this is fairly recent and strong. Now smell this."
Red fox. Close by, a female, she has a small litter. 2 or 3 pups. I recognized the voice in my head as her, my Wolf. It should have been strange to hear this voice inside of me, but it was pleasant. Comforting even. I could sense her longing. She wanted to run, to chase, but I was in charge. Wasn't I?
"Grazi? Come on, smell this one."
"What? No more pee, thank you very much." I wrinkled my nose and squinted at my uncle, he didn't seem to notice my momentary hiatus from our conversation.
"Grazi, it's not urine, I promise. I want you to tell me if you can determine what kind of tree this is. You know other pups have had years to develop these skills." Exasperated my uncle held a leaf out to me.
"Yeah, but I thought the change only happened after puberty. So how far behind can I be? And it's a walnut tree by the way."
"Wow, you have some skills then."
"Not really, Uncle Vito has a landscaping business. I help him out now and then."
"That's good that you pay attention. Now, listen up. You have always had a better sense of smell, eyesight, and hearing than the average kid your age. You just didn't develop it. If you had grown up like most pups in the pack you would have been taken out camping since birth practically. And hiking, tracking, first aid, you know, the usual survival skills and such. Fighting, climbing, fishing, swimming. All of it."
"Hey, I can swim! Besides my skills have always been more mental than physical. Maybe I can outthink the bad guys?"
"Grazi, be serious. I'm trying to teach you something here."
"Fine," I muttered and knelt next to where my Uncle was crouched by a large Birch tree. He moved some dried dead leaves out of the way and showed me a small hole. After reaching inside he pulled out a chipmunk. The poor thing was trembling. My uncle grinned and his eyes glowed electric blue for a moment.
"'He cuts out rivers among the rocks, and His eye sees every precious thing.' Book of Job." I nodded my head.
"Yeah, I recognize it. I've read most of the Bible." I mean hello, eleven years of Catholic school here.
"Aye, you're okay, yes you are, little guy. No worries, I'm not hungry." He let the chipmunk go and as I listened I could hear him scamper back into his hole and dig as fast as his little claws could go. He knew what we were and he was afraid.
"It's nature's way, Grazi. God's way." I couldn't help it, I felt guilty. That we frightened the little guy. Like we were monsters or something.
We spent the next two hours walking in the woods behind the small campus of Sacred Heart Preparatory School. There are various hiking trails in Northwestern New Jersey, but the one we took was far off the regular beaten path. Uncle Sean insisted on it. We smelled things, listened for things, tracked small animals. I still couldn't get over the strange comfort and familiarity I found in my uncle's company. I mean you would think I'd had enough of relatives with my grandmother and uncle's family, but this was my dad's family. Here. Now. Living, breathing and teaching me about things I never knew existed. Heck, a month ago I never knew he existed.
As we walked through a marshy area of woods, I felt bad for holding back. I hadn't told him about my ongoing communication with my Wolf. She spoke to me d
uring our hike. She didn't exactly tell me things. It was more like she helped me use and trust in my senses. I don't know why I felt I should keep it quiet, but I did. Her strength and instincts seemed to seep into me from within.
We continued to walk for a while under the darkening skies. Woods became streets dotted with minivans and eventually we arrived at my home. It was very dark, but Wolves see well in the dark. I realized with a start that I had enjoyed myself. Really enjoyed myself. Uncle Sean declined my invitation to come inside. Probably for the best. Nonna spent most of her time glaring at him anyway. I think I surprised him, at least I know I surprised myself, when I threw my arms around him.
"Goodnight, Uncle Sean."
"Goodnight, inion dearthar." He waited until I was inside before walking away. Back through the woods.
The next evening, I stood stretching and sipping my bottle of protein water after Sebastian, and I had our run. The hour passed by too quickly.
"Are you sure you don't need me to wait with you?" He asked while checking his cell.
"Nah, I'm okay. My Uncle Vito is on his way. You go ahead." He jogged over to his dad's car but not before giving me a quick kiss on the lips and squeezing my arm goodbye. We ran together almost every day now. And every day he would ask me if I needed a ride and offered to wait with me, but I always told him it was fine and my ride was on the way. The truth was I was so revved up after our run since I had to hold back when I ran with him that I had to run a few more laps by myself after he left. That night I had so much energy I thought I'd stay for a good long while. He smiled and waved goodbye from the car.
I looked around hoping to find an empty campus. Usually, we were the last to leave the outdoor facilities and I could finish my run-in peace. But that night my senses alerted me to someone watching me. I turned and saw Ronan walking out of the Rectory towards where I was standing. It hadn't occurred to me before, but I guessed that was where he was staying. The Sacred Heart Rectory was connected to the Church. The Sacred Heart Prep building was relatively new, only sixty years old or so, but the Church and Rectory were not. Having been built at least fifty years before the school itself. The Rectory seemed old and a bit spooky to me. I had never been inside of it, but it made sense that Ronan would be staying with Uncle Sean. I wondered if Fr. Verrell had any idea who they really were.
"Hey there," He walked towards me in a pair of sweats, running sneakers, and a black t-shirt. "You finish playing around with your little boyfriend, then?"
"He's not my boyfriend-" Ronan cut me off with another of his infamous smirks.
"Yeah, well whatever he is, I know you'll be wanting a real run now. Come on, I found a great trail, no one will see us." Before I could ask why it mattered if anyone saw us Ronan took off behind the old Church. He darted behind some tall pines and I didn't waste any time. I followed him. We ran at a fairly brisk pace for a regular human up until we hit the woods. That was when the real fun happened. Ronan looked at me, his emerald green eyes alight with mischief, he smirked and then he really took off. I was startled into stopping for a minute. One minute he was there the next only his scent lingered. I quickly came to my senses and booked after him.
"Am I going too fast for you, princess?" I heard him laugh and call out to me. He was purposely goading me! The rat! But really, I loved it. I sped towards him, I had to be running about thirty miles per hour. Trees flew past me and I leapt over fallen branches and shrubs without a single stumble. I caught up to Ronan and he looked stunned to see me. That lasted all of a minute as his eyes narrowed and his determination and longer legs allowed him to gain the lead.
After a few more minutes of running at breakneck speed we slowed down. We stopped altogether at a nearby stream. Our breath puffed out from our mouths and we were both smiling. It was exhilarating. I had no idea I could run like that. It was amazing. I hardly felt winded, just excited really. Ronan walked over to the stream cupped his hands and took a long pull of the cool clear water.
"Wait a minute! You're not supposed to drink from a stream without boiling it first," I said horrified to think what might be in the water.
"Oh girl, you know nothing, do you? Here smell," he held out his hands to me and I smelled nothing unusual.
"If there were something in there that was harmful we'd smell it. You're a Werewolf, Maria. There's not much that can hurt you. No little bug in the water can make you sick. We've got supercharged immune systems. Think on it. When was the last time you were sick, and I mean really sick, not from the Change."
"I guess not since I was ten or eleven. So, what do you mean? I won't catch a cold or anything?"
"No, you won't catch a cold or anything. At least not by conventional means. I mean we are not invincible. We get old, though not at the same rate as humans, and we do die, but more often in battle than not. We can be cursed or bewitched, we can be hurt by demons, but drinking a little water from a stream can't hurt us."
I only half listened to what he was saying. The Irish lilt in his voice was mesmerizing and somewhat familiar. My dad had talked like that. I walked over to where he was crouched and smelled the water in his hands that he held out to me. I leaned in and took a drink. It tasted marvelous, but the intimacy was unexpected. He touched my neck and I pulled back. I smiled to break the awkwardness and leaned down to the water. I drank directly from the stream until I was full. I felt his eyes on me as I took long pulls from the cool, refreshing water.
"What?"
"Nothing. So, what are you and your boyfriend doing on that track every day?"
"He's not my boyfriend. And what do you care? Are you watching us?"
"Yeah, well you'll never get a proper work out with him, now will you?"
"I don't jog with him for a proper workout, besides I get that at Uncle Sean's."
"Then he is your boyfriend, why not just admit it?"
"He's not my boyfriend, okay?"
"Whatever, princess. You ready then?" We didn't bother stretching and ran back in tension filled silence. What was Ronan's problem anyway? Sebastian was a friend. Yes, he was extremely cute and yes, I was crushing on him a bit, but still, that was private. I certainly didn't want to discuss him with Ronan. What gave him the right to ask me questions like that? And what was with the princess crap again? Ugh.
"So how was your run?" Uncle Sean was waiting for us when we got back.
"Fine." We said in unison.
"You need a lift home then? Fr. Verrell said we could use his car."
"I'll drive her," Ronan said with a smirk as he caught the keys Uncle Sean tossed his way. I didn't understand that smirk until I got behind the wheel with him. Werewolves are capable of many things, but apparently driving wasn't one of them. You've heard of the term speed demon? That was Ronan. I don't think he drove under sixty, even on side streets. He had some heavy metal station cranked all the way up and wailed along with it as he drove. A few minutes later and we came to a furious stop in front of my house. I leapt out of the car and slammed the door. I was so gonna get him back for this.
"Well that was grand, wasn't it! Beauty of a car!" Ronan caressed the vintage Mustang's steering wheel. Fr. Verrell had a certain penchant for old Mustangs. This was his pride and joy.
"Are you crazy?"
"No worries, princess. I'll see you tomorrow." He took off at breakneck speed and I stood there with mixed emotions. I mean he was infuriating. Cute, but infuriating! Wait a second, Ronan wasn't cute! Sebastian was cute, Ronan was a jerk! Get it together, Grazi! I stormed into the house, angry at myself for my conflicting emotions.
I mean why did I insist on telling him that Sebastian wasn't my boyfriend? Especially when that is exactly what I wanted Sebastian to be? I mean who cares what Ronan thinks? I took off my sweatshirt and my sneakers in the small mudroom in the front of the house. My stomach growled immediately as the enticing aroma of roasted turkey breast and sweet potatoes greeted me. I headed for the kitchen hoping to find Nonna. I could use a little TLC and knew she'd be there with open
arms. Only, she wasn't.
A lone plate of food, covered in aluminum foil, sat on the stove. My name was on a little pink sticky note stuck right on top. I looked for Nonna, but couldn't find her. I took the plate up to my room. It was the first time I had ever eaten alone in my room since, well since ever. I always ate with Nonna. For the first time since my parents died I felt truly alone.
The days sped into one another. Halloween came and went in a flash. With the temperature drop, the approach of the Harvest Dance, and my recent communication with the beast that was me, and the absence of the only parent I ever knew I was a little bit stressed. Okay, a lot stressed. It was a lot to take in and I like to think I did an okay job of it. I went from being pretty much an invisible teenager to a teenage Werewolf in a matter of weeks. It sounded like a bad movie plot. I had so many questions. Like why did Ronan call me princess and claim I was to lead them in battle? He had to be kidding, right? I wondered if maybe I could find out more from him. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but I didn't want to argue and after our little confrontation I felt weird. On top of that I wasn't getting any sleep. The dreams about my mom were happening almost nightly. It always ended the same. Her screaming for me to run. I had no idea what it meant, but it left me uneasy.
I walked into the cafeteria after finishing a pop quiz in Mr. Gundy's history class. I found European history interesting so I always read ahead and did research on my own. A good thing too. He tended to stray from basic facts like, 'What year was the Battle of Waterloo?' (1815 for those of you interested) to more philosophical questions like 'Was Napol?on Bonaparte a classic egomaniac or did he actually benefit the French? Please give examples.' I answered that though Napol?on was a genius at war strategy he seemed to be governed by an extremely overinflated notion of himself thereby causing him to dismiss democracy and crown himself emperor. I went on to discuss the highs and lows of his political career for two more pages, like his positive changes to the French civil code allowing for government positions to be held based on merit and not birth. Other students, like Ronan, simply stated "The brass cojones on that guy were admirable egomaniac or not." SMH. The guy was exasperating. Ronan not Bonaparte, though if I thought about it, him too.
As I reached the food line I noticed the school was crawling with cops and just about the entire student body was crammed into the cafeteria. What the heck was going on? I decided to utilize my Werewolf hearing and picked up on a conversation on the other end of the room while I scooped up a protein bar and some yogurt. I was hungry almost constantly and small snacks packed with protein helped curb it a bit.
"Dude, Reggie found a dead body! For realz! He was looking to light up under the soccer bleachers and he like tripped. Right over the dead dude's foot! Yup, it was still inside its shoe! The same kicks we all wear! He puked all over the place, then ran screaming to the office. Idiot still had his cig in his hand!"
I listened to bits and pieces of conversations throughout the room and picked up on more the same thing. Dead body in the soccer field. A student. Holy crap! I said a quick prayer to the Virgin Mother and almost bumped into another kid. My yogurt wobbled on the tray, but I quickly righted it. Some students were crying, others were treating it with a sense of detachment like it was no different than any other piece of gossip.
Sr. Diane was making plans to gather us to assembly the period after lunch to tell us what was going on. I could hear her in the hallway speaking to the police and the vice principal, Mr. Dennis. Unfortunately gossip and texting travelled faster than she did. Even the dimmest student had to figure it was something important given the amount of police activity outside. Most of the students were trying to guess the identity of the body. Compared to public schools, our high school was relatively small and most absences were easily noted. I noticed some of the teachers walking the cafeteria, asking students if they were okay. Some understandably took the opportunity to call their parents and go home. I just stood and watched, waiting to hear more until I sensed someone behind me.
Ronan. He had a scent uniquely his own. Cut grass, spicy cinnamon, and the outdoors, like he just took a walk in the woods. I could smell his Wolf too, he smelled like musk and forest. Old, enchanted forest. I closed my eyes for a second and breathed him in. I was startled as I realized I could see him as well. Large with massive forepaws and beautiful reddish tinted fur.
Yes. He is strong. Good too. He will help. It was my Wolf again. How do I talk to you? You just did, little one. I am here always here. I am you, little one. I gasped.
"Are you alright, Maria?" I looked at Ronan and saw concern darken his green eyes. He met mine for a minute before nodding and lowering them.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"You know what."
"I don't know what you mean. I do nothing, pri- Maria."
"I saw him."
"Him who?" He was only half listening to me. His eyes darted back and forth, taking in the chaos that surrounded us.
"Your Wolf."
"My Wolf? But how could you manage that? It's impossible."
I'd show him impossible. I reached out to my Wolf, that strange electric hum settling over me. I pushed it forward and called to Ronan with my mind. Shock and fear radiated from him. I could see his Wolf on the ground in my mind's eye and my Wolf stood tall over him. She yowled short and he stood to attention. Yes, he will do.
"Grazi? Hellooo!" I was brought back to where we were by a tug on my arm. It was Angela. "Earth to Grazi? You too, Ronan. What's going on?"
"We'll talk later." Ronan dropped his lunch into the nearest garbage can and hustled out of the gym without another glance. Considering the great appetite most Werewolves had, me included, this was like huge. I watched him leave with growing trepidation. What the heck was happening to me?
"What's his problem? Anyway, they think they've narrowed down who it is, did you hear?" Angela's anxiety translated to me in the way she gripped my arm and shuffled from one foot to another. Clearly, she was upset.
"No, I didn't hear anything new."
"Well, they think that it's Arnel Bayani. He was a senior. He was going to be valedictorian. It's so terrible! I knew him, Grazi, he wrote some stories for NewsFlash."
"Oh no, I mean I never spoke to him, but I know who you mean. That's awful, Angela." I could picture Arnel. He was tall with straight, dark hair and caramel colored skin. He wasn't a geek exactly. Sure, his grades were unbelievable, but he was also well liked socially. He wrote news articles, played soccer for the Zephyrs, though he was nowhere near the athlete Sebastian was. He was an all-around good person, he certainly didn't deserve to die like this.
"Yeah, well. I knew him, Grazi, we uh, we both play Wolf Moon. Sometimes we would meet up at CyberSodas. He was pack."
"What uh, what are you talking about?" My hands started sweating and my heart began to pound. Did she just say pack?
"You never heard of Wolf Moon? It's an online role-playing game. You know, like Dungeons and Dragons. Except this is about Werewolves, vampires, witches and demons. You can build your own avatar and go to battle." Angela seemed to snap out of her melancholy when I said I didn't recognize the game. She spent the next ten minutes going over the finer points of Wolf Moon.
"Wow, it sounds intense, but I still never heard of it." I shrugged and tried to look nonchalant, but my mind was racing. I was sure there were loads of online role-playing games that involved the supernatural. Maybe it was just a coincidence that this game had something to do with Arnel's death. I bit into my protein bar and listened to Angela some more.
Those days I felt like such a heifer. I just kept eating and eating. Uncle Sean told me it was completely normal, my metabolism was super charged and therefore I would need to eat more. Still, he did recommend I try and eat healthy. Apparently, I have a very robust cousin named Gertrude who tipped the scales at well over two hundred pounds. So, yes, Werewolves, can get fat. That was one question answered.
"I mean I haven't played in
weeks, okay well a couple of days, but I can't believe you never heard of it. What, do you, like, spend all of your time in your grandma's garden? Seriously! Anyway, for example, my avatar, Faolana-"
"Faolana?"
"Yes, Faolana. It means Wolf-girl. Yeah so, she's a Werewolf princess with special powers. She can change without the full moon to help her, she can mind chat with other Wolves, her sense of smell is like super acute, and she has the strength of seven Wolves. That just means I've been playing for seven years, the longer you play the stronger your avatar. Anyway, last time I played, I joined with another Werewolf who hunts witches. Together we saved this ancient village from disaster! It was real cool. And she's like totally hot. Faolana I mean, not the other Werewolf, anyway she's thin, but built with spiky red hair. Hey, I could show you!" I watched Angela's face turn pink in her excitement as she explained it to me, but I could hardly acknowledge her offer. I could practically feel the blood draining from my face. An online community of make believe Werewolves that battled evil supernatural forces? Wow. That hit a little close to home.
"You know, it's weird though. As soon as I found out it was Arnel who died I checked online. His avatar signed in last night at nine and he was last seen heading into battle with BBWG, short for Big Bad Wolf Girl. She's like this new super avatar who's been kicking everybody's butt. She's been a loner up till now. Anyway, she asked him to join her at ten last night."
"So? They destroyed some make-believe things together? What does that mean?"
"That's just it. They didn't. He bragged about her invitation in his status updates then that was it. He didn't move again. And BBWG signed off shortly after. Anyway, meet me at CyberSodas later and I can show you. A bunch of pack hang out there. It's cool. You'll like it. We'll all want to say goodbye to Gutum Lobo, his avatar." I wasn't sure I'd like it, but still I agreed.
We walked to the auditorium together as the bell rang and Mr. Dennis' voice called the entire student body to assembly. Sebastian was waiting for me in the hallway.
"Hey Grazi, you heard?"
"Yeah, it's terrible."
"Yeah, hey Angela, sorry, I mean you knew him, right?" She nodded and we took seats near the back. Ronan was nowhere in sight. I scanned the room and didn't see his tall frame anywhere. Julianna and her clones were in a group, matching flat ironed hair and pink headbands on. They pretended to cry and held each other. Jerks. Fr. Verrell was there, he led us all in prayer and we stood up. When he was finished Sr. Diane approached the podium.
"Boys and girls, I am sure you all heard by now that there was a terrible tragedy last night. The remains of a body have been found on our campus. Now, please, do not go spreading rumors as they have not been positively identified-" I could smell her lying from across the room. I guess she thought she was doing what she had to for everyone's good. Her speech went on for a few more minutes. We were then allowed to call home.
School was dismissed a short while later, apparently too many parents were upset about the police activity and of course the dead boy. I made my way over to the Church basement, I figured I'd get to my lessons with Uncle Sean early. Slow down, little one. Listen. I slowed down in my tracks and closed my eyes. I listened and my mind seemed to travel with my hearing. If Angela spent years building up her avatar's super Werewolf powers, maybe I should try just using mine. I could make out two voices, Ronan and Uncle Sean.
"I'm telling you, sir, she heard my Wolf. Commanded him even."
"Tis impossible, Ronan. Too young. She hasn't even had her induction ceremony yet."
"Aye, but she's royalty and she's strong. Like him. What if it's her then? She could be doing the killing! We need to bring her to Rolf. He'll get her straight."
"No, don't you mention anything to Rolf! Do you hear me? We haven't had enough time yet. I must be certain. And don't you go putting ideas in her head! You're supposed to be watching her."
"I am trying, sir. What should I-"
"Wait, shhh! Grazi, are you there?"
I pulled back into myself and half walked half ran out of the Church. He thought I was a murderer! I was furious, scared, disgusted. How could Ronan even think that? How could my own uncle even consider the possibility that I killed people? I threw my book bag onto my back and started running. I didn't know where I was going. I jumped on the first bus I saw. Luckily, it took me to Main Street. I got off a few streets away from Cybersodas and started walking. I wasn't sure if I should still go or not. I mean, I could be a killer. What if I was putting Angela in danger? Maybe I should head back. Doubts swarmed my head. I was about to turn around when, too late, she saw me.
"Hey, Grazi! Come on!" She tugged me along with her and we entered the trendy little hybrid internet caf? meets old school ice cream soda pop joint. It was pretty cool actually. The whole place was done in bright reds and blues. There was a really long yellow bar complete with a huge stand-up freezer that showcased freshly made ice creams and frozen yogurts. Tall glasses, mugs, and bowls were behind the bar. There were old fashioned soda pumps cleaned to a brilliant shine along with rows of flavored syrups, bunches of fresh bananas, huge jars of maraschino cherries in three colors, sliced oranges, lemons and limes, and other toppings filling the huge counter space. Soda jerks dressed in crisp white aprons and little paper hats worked furiously to keep up with the crowd. Angela snagged us a booth and we waited for a waiter to come around. I would have appreciated the ambiance a bit more on any other day. You know, any other day when I wasn't accused of being a murderer.
"Hey there, ladies! The name's Derek, I'll be your soda jerk today. What can I get you?" I was still looking at the menu and had to bite my tongue when he said the word jerk. I almost didn't notice the increase in Angela's heart rate as she stared at the cute guy waiting to take our order. Almost. Derek had smooth mocha colored skin, his long dark hair was pulled back in a low pony tail and his wide hazel eyes sparkled as he and Angela discussed the day's specials.
"Well ladies, I want you to know that everything here is of the finest and freshest quality. We have some fresh organic frozen Greek Yogurt today in black cherry and plain tart. My specialty shake of the day is Kosta's Cherry Mix up, it's a hand shaken frozen Greek yogurt drink with black cherry cola, topped with fresh vanilla whipped cream and frozen sour cherries. What do you say?"
"That'll be fine. We'll have two of those and one hour of WIFI. How about some fries, Grazi?"
"Um, yeah, sure."
"And an order of sweet potato fries with cheddar cheese and chives, applesauce on the side. Thanks!"
"Just the way I like them! You got it, red!" He walked away, but not before winking at Angela which caused her to blush bright pink. Sweet potato fries with cheese, chives and applesauce? So not what I was thinking when she said fries. Anyway, I waited until she calmed down enough before asking about the game.
"So, who here plays Wolf Pack?"
"It's Wolf Moon, Grazi, and almost everyone. See that group there. They all wear green shirts because they're known as the Verde Vanquishers. Anyway look, just let me login here."
I watched as her fingers flew across her top of the line laptop's keyboard. For all that I knew about computers it was really a nice machine. I was still using a four-year-old Gateway Nonna picked up at a discount store. Hey, it worked. Anyway, Angela logged in and showed me the site, which turned out to be pretty cool. She even went so far as to create an avatar for me complete with my own login and password. Yup, I was Wolfgirl2014, very original. I doubted I'd use it again, but maybe I could learn something about Werewolves. It never failed to amaze me what a dork I am. I'm a Werewolf and I'd have to go to a silly game to learn about myself.
After we had finished our delicious milkshakes, seriously awesome job Derek, Angela's dad had a driver pick her up. Apparently, she was only allowed to take the school bus because it was early and considered safe, but her dad drew the line at other forms of public transportation and if he couldn't get her, a car service did. Nice. They dropped me off at home. I had to
o many things on my mind at the time to really think about what Angela had shown me. As far as I knew Wolf Moon was just a silly game and I, I was maybe a murderer. I entered the house quietly, I was hoping to make it up to my room unnoticed.
"Maria? Is that you?" I couldn't face my grandmother just then. I bit back a cry and took the stairs two at a time to my room. I should have known better. A few minutes later there was a soft knock on my bedroom door.
"Maria, bella, can I come in?" The door opened and Nonna came in with a tall blue glass in her hand, she chuckled and held out the glass to me, "No Wolfsbane, promiso. It tastes very good."
I took the cup and sipped. Finally, some of my Nonna's awesome sweet iced tea. I broke down right then. The sobs shook my entire body, I slouched forward and put my head in Nonna's lap. She rubbed my back and murmured to me in Italian. I cried hard and long. For so many things. For my parents that I didn't remember. For Sebastian and the relationship I couldn't have with him. After all, how could I involve him in the horror that was now my reality? I cried for Angela, my new friend who would never speak to me again if she found out that maybe I killed Arnel. And selfishly, I cried for me. It wasn't fair. How was I supposed to control something I knew nothing about? As the sobs shook my body I thought of back when I was a kid. Always a good girl, I did my chores, went to Church, and studied hard. Why would God punish me like this? Was it true? Did I murder random people? Kill them in my Wolf form? Was I a monster? I had to know the truth.
"Nonna, please tell me what you know." I sat up and wiped my face.
"It is a long story, Maria, and a sad one, but I will tell you now." I straightened and looked at my grandmother as she patted down her springy gray curls and pulled her navy-blue sweater more securely around her. She took my hands and looked me in the eye.
"First Maria, I want you to know that I love you like I loved your mother before you, capisce? My daughter, Lilliana, was a beautiful young girl. Strong-headed like her father, but caring and generous. She had brown hair and warm eyes just like you." I shook my head, I've seen my mother's picture and she was very beautiful. She had had a certain grace and elegance that I seriously lacked. That much I knew. My grandmother didn't seem to notice my inner dialogue as she got caught up in the past. Her voice grew hard and bitter, or maybe I was picking up on her posture. One more reminder of the freak I was now.
"She fell in love with a boy. An Irish boy. Patrick Kelly. Blonde with a pretty face, pretty eyes. He convinced her he loved her. But he lied. He lied, Maria! His love for himself was bigger than his love for her. He kept a secret. A terrible secret. He could never be devoted to her because his loyalty was to his pack. She told me one night, the night you were born, Maria Graziana. She told me everything!" The anger and hatred that filled her voice frightened me, I could taste it. I growled and she looked at me startled.
"You wanted to know. Now, I tell you what I know. Lilliana told me the night you were born that you would be special. Ha, special! Non especiale, you would be cursed! The Bringer of Faith, the Defender of the Church, the Great Hunter. Pick a name, cara, they are all you. I didn't want this for you. He should have told her! Warned her! He should have left mia bambina alone. She didn't deserve this. You don't deserve this."
"You forgot to tell her something else, Rosa," I didn't jump. I had smelled Uncle Sean before he spoke.
"You forgot to tell her that Patrick didn't deserve this either! He didn't want any of this. Rosa, you know he wanted the best for Lilliana and for Grazi!"
"He knew it was possible, Sean. He knew he was cursing my daughter with endless worry and grief by marrying her! By giving her a child! By killing her!" I was dumbstruck. I had never heard my grandmother speak like this before. My heart sped up, I started to get hot, really hot despite the chill in the air.
"It was an accident, Rosa, dammit. Patrick loved Lilliana he never meant to hurt her. His change had never been like that! We never thought it possible! He lost himself to his Wolf before his reason came back."
"Lost himself, is it true? Did he kill my mom? Uncle Sean!"
"He never meant to hurt her, I swear it!"
"Is this what you meant when you said I was like him? Am I a murderer too? Is that what Ronan meant? Answer me!" My Uncle was now crouched on the floor lost in his tormented past. Nonna cried into her hands.
"It was the blood moon. Patrick-, your da, he never meant to- We were searching for a coven. There were signs. Your mum, she knew, she knew everything by then. You were three years old. She followed him, refused to stay home. The blood moon called and Patrick couldn't control-" Uncle Sean rubbed his face fiercely and I could feel his despair.
Nonna started swaying back and forth gripping her rosary beads and calling my mother's name one second and cursing my father the next. She and Uncle Sean argued some more, but by then I wasn't listening. Who were these people anyway? This man who was related to me, but absent my whole life and this stranger who raised me saying things I had never heard and could hardly believe. Pain shot to my gut and I knew what was happening, but for the first time I didn't fear it. I embraced it. I tore open the window and leapt onto the sill.
"Grazi!"
"Maria, no, wait!" Before they could stop me, I jumped to the ground, three stories below me. I landed on my feet and when I turned around I knew I was Wolf. I took off.