CHAPTER XXIV
SUSPENSE
The next morning Honor received a telegram from Joyce to meet her at theGrand Hotel in Calcutta without delay, and she was only too glad for arespite of even a few days from the pain of schooling herself to avoidthe man she loved. Her parents having no objection, she caught theexpress at midday, and was in Calcutta the same night, her mindlightened of one of its burdens. At least the little wife had acted uponadvice and was going to her husband without waste of time, after whichall would surely be well for them both.
Joyce was prepared for her coming, and they talked to a late hour, she,betraying her trouble by her anxious questioning, which Honor skilfullyparried.
"You must not put too much faith in gossip," said Honor after learningof the conversation which had been overheard on the ship. "Have youwired?"
Joyce confessed her intention to take her husband by surprise. "Only,now that it has come to the point, I am as nervous as I can be."
"You had better wire. It will bring your husband down half-way to meetyou and give him some happy hours of anticipation."
"You are not sincere when you say that," said Joyce unexpectedly, "orwhy did you tell me to stop at nothing to come out?"
Joyce was no longer the same, ingenuous little girl Honor had partedfrom at Muktiarbad eight months ago. Her manner had acquired assurance,her carriage a becoming dignity, and there was about her an air ofthoughtfulness and reserve, new to her.
"I said it was not good for man to live alone, nor is it."
"And you knew there was someone trying to supplant me in hisaffections?"
"I knew he was exposed to the influence of a woman without aconscience." Honor then told her precisely who Nurse Dalton was, and howher flagrant pursuit of Ray Meredith had aroused the anxious concern ofhis friends. Not another word would she add as fuel to the fire ofJoyce's jealous imagination.
"Well, I shall be able to find out all about this for myself when I amthere!" sighed Joyce when she had heard the woman's history.
Honor prayed inwardly that Mrs. Dalton would have received CaptainDalton's offer before then, and have lost no time in arranging to comeaway. She could not prevail on Joyce to telegraph to her husband of herarrival in India, or that he was to expect her in Darjeeling as soon asthe railway service could take her there. As it was no part of afriend's duty to interfere in the affairs of husband and wife, shedesisted from further persuasion, content to leave the issue to a HigherPower.
They passed on to other topics, and Honor was intensely pleased to learnfrom Joyce of Jack's happy fate as Kitty's accepted lover; and, further,that the two were married by special licence soon after landing atBombay.
"They are so happy! Last night they left for the new station to which heis appointed, as mentioned in the _Gazette_ yesterday. During the fewhours they were in town they tried to keep out of the way of Mrs.Fox--perhaps you know Jack had allowed her to believe he would marryher?"
Honor believed she had heard the rumour.
"However, as ill-luck would have it, he and Kitty ran into her, so tospeak, in the foyer of this hotel! I was there, and, believe me, I wasnever so uncomfortable in my life! Kitty was looking charming, and sosmart. Happiness agrees with her, for I have never seen her look betterin my life. We were waiting for a taxi, when who should come in but Mrs.Fox with some friends! Mistaking Kitty for me,--people say we are verymuch alike,--she held out her hand and said in her affected way--youremember?--'Oh, how d'you do, Mrs. Meredith. I had no idea you had comeout again!' Then, seeing her mistake, she apologised, for I wasfollowing Kitty to the door.
"'It's my sister,' said I, feeling dreadfully embarrassed at having tomake the introduction. 'Mrs. Darling, Mrs. Fox,' I said, and just atthat moment Jack came in and straight up to us, with no eyes for any onebut his wife. 'Come, dear, I have managed to get a taxi for theluggage,' and then his eyes fell on Mrs. Fox. Really, poor Jack! heturned quite pale. But Kitty who knew all about that affair and hadforgiven it, smiled graciously at Mrs. Fox who was paralysed with shock,and said--'I am so sorry we haven't a moment. My husband and I are tiedto time and have to catch a train. Good-bye,'--with a bow,--'so pleasedto have met you!'
"Jack also bowed, speechless, as he hurried after Kitty. We all threefairly ran, though we had plenty of time for their train; but if lookscould have killed, I am sure Jack would have died on the spot."
To Honor's credit be it known that she suffered a twinge of pity forMrs. Fox; a passing twinge, such as one might feel for people when theycome to grief by their own act.
"I wonder what Mrs. Fox will do, now," Honor remarked after expressingher hearty congratulations for the happy pair. Jack did not deserve suchhappiness, but if every sinner had his deserts, there would be too manymiserable people in the world today.
"Mrs. Gupp who shares my table at meals, knows Mrs. Fox pretty well andhas very little to say in her favour. She was maliciously amused overthe affair, and is of opinion that Mrs. Fox will have to go home atonce. The story is already common property."
Honor thought Joyce lovelier than ever with her air of dignifiedreserve. She had grown self-reliant and there was a tinge of hauteur inher manner which seemed to add to her stature and give a regal carriageto her beautiful head.
"So you are travelling all alone to Darjeeling?" Honor asked wistfully,wondering what was going to be the upshot of that journey.
"It is nothing at all. I have hardly the patience to wait for trains.There is so much at stake. If I could only be sure that Ray loves me ashe used to do, I would be crazy for joy! I should never leave himagain--not for anything in the world!" and she hid her face in Honor'sneck while the tears flowed.
"Not even if you come across snakes and are obliged to put up withmosquitoes and the heat?" quizzed Honor.
"I'll face anything but the loss of my husband's love. What a fool Ihave been! a blind, childish fool! Why, that affair with Captain Daltonwhich I exaggerated and worried over, might have been made all right ingood time. I ought to have listened to you, and set myself to make Rayso happy that he would have had nothing to forgive! After all, it wasn'tas if I was wilfully to blame?"
"I told you that before you went home."
"And it came to me only when I began to fear that I was losing his love!That was a contingency I never believed possible. He was always so madabout me, spoiling me in every way and treating me as a little queen!Oh, Honor what a mess I have made of things!"
"Don't do anything in the heat of passion, dear," Honor advisedthoughtfully. "Remember he has had sunstroke. A man is hardly himselffor months after such an illness--sometimes for years. It affects peopledifferently. Some are irritable, some have clouded memories; for thebrain is the seat of the trouble."
"Are you trying to prepare me to find Ray insane?" Joyce asked withfrightened eyes.
"Not at all. He is as sane as you or I, but his impulses are not so muchunder control, and his judgment is likely to err since that shock to hisbrain."
"Then he is not to be held accountable for anything he has done oflate?" indignantly.
"You might take all I have said into consideration if you are requiredto forgive anything he has been weak or foolish enough to have donesince his illness."
Joyce laughed bitterly. "I wonder what you would feel inclined to do inmy place?"
"Do you really wish to know?"
"I do," said Joyce as a challenge, while drying her eyes.
"The chief thing to be considered, is the future. That must be saved atall costs. A mistake in the present, committed in haste, might affectyour future life; and not only yours, but your baby's as well. You areabout to deal with baby's daddy as well as your husband, and the wholeof your world is looking on. You might take a prejudiced view of thingsthat have occurred. You might, in your anger and humiliation, feelunforgiving towards him, and so, break up your home. I question whetheranything ought to weigh against your love for your husband, if in yourheart you love him and he loves you."
"Loving me, could
he be disloyal?"
Honor hesitated. "It is possible he has been suffering from a cloudedmind. Things have not been correctly focussed, as it were. And while inthat condition, if he was tempted to drift into actual wrong-doing, Ishould imagine that self-loathing and remorse would afterwards be aworse punishment for him than you could possibly conceive of. This ispresuming he has done anything to be ashamed of. In that case, I couldnot be harsh. Love always forgives--even to 'seventy times seven.'"
"Honey, you are an idealist! I wonder how many women could exercise somuch forbearance! Think of the anger, the humiliation, the resentment!It is an outrage to one's faith and trust!"
"If you had remained within reach of him so that when he was ill youcould have gone to him at once, there would have been nothing toforgive. But for a frivolous reason you put the seas between you andthrew his love back into his face. You are also very much to blame,"said Honor boldly.
Joyce covered her face with her hands and wept silently.
* * * * *
Honor saw her into her train at Sealdah Station the following day, andafter an afternoon spent in shopping for her mother, returned toMuktiarbad.
Joyce spent an uncomfortable night in the train on account of the muggyheat which was barely rendered tolerable by electric fans in thecompartment, and was glad when the time came to transfer herself and herbaggage into the toy railway of the Himalayas, which rattled briskly upthe slopes by tortuous tracks into higher altitudes and cooler climes.
A party of ladies known to each other occupied the same compartment andchattered of all they did in Darjeeling last year, and all they meant todo. Joyce paid little heed while silently watching the changing views asthe train wound its way along the mountain sides. The infinite grandeurof Nature on which humanity had set its stamp, thrilled her withwonderment and delight. All personal troubles were forgotten for a whileas the glorious scenery unfolded to her vision.
Surely her eyes must have been holden when she saw it a year ago!
Heavy mists sweeping the mountain sides frequently obliterated a pictureof purple distances and rugged heights. Anon, there was a blaze ofsunlight revealing wooded spurs with zinc-roofed cottages and greyvillages nestling on their slopes. Green valleys lay at the foot offrowning precipices, and round many a bend and curve were glimpses oftea gardens with the bushes laid out in serried rows; and cumbrous,zinc-roofed tea factories looking strangely incongruous in their wildand glorious setting.
With a rush of sound, a waterfall would be seen, as a curve was rounded,tumbling over rocks and rushing under a bridge on its way to join somemighty river in the plains. The plains were often visible, stretchinglike a grey sea to the horizon, their surface marked by the silvertracery of streams. Now and then, Joyce could catch a glimpse of theEverlasting Snows, with Kinchin-junga, Nursing, and Pundeem, a mightygroup glittering in the sunlight in stately magnificence, their peaksinaccessible to man. Beside the road, a stout parapet of boulderscovered by ferns and lichen, stood, in places, between the passengersand certain death, a thousand feet below; while up the steep banks roseforests of _sal_ and fir, climbing towards the sky.
Wherever there were homesteads perched among the rocks, children of themountains would run forth like sure-footed goats to view the passingtrain, their round and ruddy cheeks besmeared with dirt and chapped withcold; their flat faces, high cheek bones, and slanting eyes, revealingtheir Lepcha strain.
And all the while the temperature continued to fall; and the atmospheregrew moist and cold and exhilarating in its freshness.
A block in the line occasioned by a local landslip--a frequentoccurrence on the hill-railway--detained the train till the afternoon,at Kurseong, where the passengers left their carriages for luncheon atthe hotel.
At Sonada, further on, two ladies entered the compartment and audiblydiscussed certain doings at Darjeeling where they appeared to beresiding. When Joyce heard her husband's name, she set herself tolisten, determined not to miss a word.
"I suppose she will be there," said one. "Wherever Mr. Meredith goes hemanages to get an invitation for her,--and people don't much like it,but there's his position, you know!"
"I know. They are seldom seen apart. A handsome woman in her way, bututterly regardless! Her dress, for instance, at the Shrubbery Ball wasindeed up to date--just a band under the armpits for a bodice. I neversaw any one off the stage so disgustingly naked!"
"He looks to me rather 'fed up.' And the way she takes charge of him inpublic requires nerve! he simply falls into line just as if he can'thelp himself. Got into the habit, so to speak!"
"What are you going to wear tonight?" and the conversation drifted tothe Planters' Ball at the Club. The Governor and his wife were expectedto be present with their suite, and the house-party from the Shrubbery.
"It is a wonder to me," said the first speaker, "that Mrs. Dalton isreceived at Government House." Joyce again held her breath.
"Oh, but her position makes that all right. Her husband is an I.M.S.man, a rising surgeon, somewhere in the plains. They don't get on, butthat's nobody's business; and in Darjeeling one has to shut one's eyes.If you begin to point the finger of scorn, you'll be kept fairly busy"(with a mischievous laugh). "And after all, if her husband doesn't mind,it's nobody's business. All the same, she's been cut by a good few, andif he doesn't look out, he'll end in the divorce court--or she will!"
They laughed as at a great joke, and, others listening, smiled insympathy, while Joyce turned her burning face away.
It seemed that there was no getting away from the story of her husband'sshame. But for her having left him, this would never have been!
* * * * *
When the train drew up at the platform of the station in Darjeeling, shepulled herself together and stepped bravely out of her compartment, headerect, and manner perfectly composed. The need to have herself well inhand, gave her strength of mind for the occasion, so that none of herold friends--were she to come unexpectedly upon any--should think hercrushed and miserable; a poor, humiliated wife! No! the world should seea laughing face.
As the roads of the Station were very familiar to her, she climbed thepath leading to the Cosmopolitan Hotel, at which her husband wasstaying. It rose by easy stages to a higher level and passed byred-brick villas built on the English plan, with pent roofs and homelychimney-pots. In parts the road was clear, in others, heavily shaded bytall firs, through the branches of which could be seen the Snowy Rangebathed in the soft afterglow of a lurid sunset. Preceding her was aLepcha boy from Sikkim, carrying her trunk mountaineer fashion on hisback, strapped to his forehead; and it was a mystery how he liftedhimself as well as his burden up the short cuts, without pausing to drawbreath.