CHAPTER XXV
THE MEETING
While Joyce climbed the road preceded by her Lepcha coolie, a scene ofdramatic possibilities was taking place in a room of the hotel to whichshe was bound.
It was Mr. Meredith's sitting-room, comfortably furnished; a fire wasburning cheerfully in the grate, and the actors were himself and Mrs.Dalton, who had called upon him in a crisis of her affairs.
She was eager and excited, bold, and yet somewhat baffled.
He was nervous and uncomfortable, while fidgeting with a letter in hisfingers.
"He has made a rather sporting offer, don't you think?" she asked withbiting sarcasm, her eyes studying his face.
"What are you going to do?"
"Surely!--that's for you to say."
"Me?" (irritably).
"Of course. You know that he and I parted long ago over incompatibilityof temper, and that his offer is made only to save his precious honour.He has heard rumours! There is no love in it; instead, it is carefullyruled out. I may return to his protection whenever I like; but as hiswife _only in name_."
"It will be better than this knock-about sort of life you have led, withan allowance wholly inadequate to your needs" (conciliatingly).
"But is there nothing else in life for a young woman of my years andtemperament? What about you and me?" (tenderly).
Meredith reddened as he said resolutely, "That page will have to beturned down for good, in the fullest sense of the word."
It was a page of which he was heartily ashamed. The shame wasinevitable, the affair having been, from the first, a comedy of degreesin which his heart had never been involved; begun while he was ahelpless invalid dependent upon this woman for nursing andcompanionship. That she had started the flirtation, and had takenadvantage of his loneliness and temporary weakness to bring him almostto the verge of a deep dishonour, were memories he would have given muchto forget. Mrs. Dalton was a type of woman he had always held incontempt; but he had failed to identify her as such, till his normalhealth had reasserted itself. Latterly he had allowed himself to driftwith the tide while looking for a means of escape from his intolerableposition.
"Do you mean that?" she asked with whitening lips.
"I think it is the only thing to do," he replied.
"If you say that for my sake, then I might just as well be frank. Youknow I love you, Ray Meredith, and I believe you love me, only you havenever quite let yourself go, for some hidden reason--possibly yourcareer? It can't be consideration for that bloodless and callouscreature, your wife? I refuse to believe that you have any feeling for awoman who has placed her child before her husband and is content to liveapart from him when she knows that men are but human after all! Yourcareer is safe. A man's private life is his own affair. If we throw inour lot together, we can after the divorce marry and live happily everafter, as the good little story books tell us in the nursery." Shelaughed tenderly. "My husband will gladly have done with me, for I cantell who it is he wants. I paid a stolen visit to his bungalow atMuktiarbad and snapshots of her live all about him in his den. Can Itolerate the position I shall occupy in his house, knowing all the whileit has been flung at me like a bone to a dog? If he could marry hertomorrow he would; only she isn't the sort, I am told, who would takehim unless I am dead! Now, this is frankness indeed!"
Meredith was silent.
"Can't you speak?"
"I have spoken."
"And is that all?" she cried passionately, creeping nearer, her darkeyes compelling his surrender. "Don't you know that all Darjeeling istalking of us? That, for your sake, people are treating me abominablywhile they smile kindly on you? I am only a woman, therefore may becrushed. My God!--and you would turn me down, like a 'page' for 'good'!"
"Perhaps I should not put it like that," he said nervously as he trifledwith Captain Dalton's letter to his wife, and allowed it to fall to thefloor. His cigarette case suggested comfort and was drawn forth as adiversion.
"Put it as you like, it is rather a knock-out blow for me!"
"Say, rather, that it is a mercy things have not gone too far, and thatyou can accept your husband's 'sporting' offer with a clear--aclear"--_conscience_ was scarcely a suitable word. He was certain shehad smothered it long ago.
"Oh, damn my husband! I want nothing to do with him since knowing you!Ray, old dear, have you ceased to love me?--I don't believe it!" Sheflung her arms about his neck and laid her cheek to his. In her toneswas beguilement, in her eyes the lure of an evil thing. Her back wasturned to the door so that she did not see that it had opened suddenlyto admit someone. Both had been too preoccupied to hear the gentleknock.
Meredith looked up and saw his wife enter,--his little Joyce, whom heimagined was in England. For a moment he was petrified--the next instanthe shook himself free of Mrs. Dalton's embrace, and stood apart,convicted and ashamed.
Joyce stood stock still as if paralysed, and could only murmurconventionally, "I am sorry," purely a mechanical expression of apologysuch as she would have made to a stranger. "No one answered my knock, soI came in."
The very air was electrical. Meredith could only utter his wife's namein blank amazement. What could he say under such damning circumstances?Mrs. Dalton laughed hysterically.
Collecting her scattered wits, Joyce explained, reaching a hand out to acabinet for support: "I came out with the mails. There was a hint of_this_, only I dared not let myself believe it. It seemed impossiblefrom my knowledge of you. But it appears I was wrong," her lip curled.Turning to Mrs. Dalton she said coldly, "Perhaps you will be good enoughto leave us together?"
Standing there erect in her pride and beauty, dressed exquisitely, yetsimply, she was a revelation to the woman who had sought to rob her andwas now brazen enough to carry off the situation with effrontery.
"It was pretty smart of you to act the spy, stealing on us withoutwarning! However, we are not afraid. Do your worst!"
"I am waiting for you to leave the room," said Joyce with immovablecalm. Her queenlike dignity was something new to her husband, and itcommanded Mrs. Dalton's unwilling respect and obedience.
Meredith walked swiftly to the door and held it open for the lady topass out, his features rigid, his eyes bent on the carpet at his feet,nor did he raise them when she brushed past him and lightly touched hishand as it held the door-knob.
"Why didn't you cable?--or wire from Calcutta?" he asked through whitelips.
Joyce looked in scornful silence at him and then said with a perceptibleshrug, "I am glad I did neither."
"Things look pretty bad against me, I admit," he said bitterly. "Is itany use for me to ask you not to judge me too hastily? The situation yousurprised was not of my creating."
Joyce laughed suddenly, a strained and mirthless laugh as she mentallyrecalled the words, "The woman gave me, and I did eat."
"Judge you hastily? Such a situation requires no explanation. It isplainly a confession of guilt, or it could not have been."
"By that do you mean you will take action?"
"Action?--do you mean, divorce you?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps you would like to marry Mrs. Dalton if her husband gives herup!" she said bitterly, hardly recognising the tones of her own voice.
"Good God!--never!" he shuddered involuntarily.
"I do not understand you."
"You would not believe me if I told you."
"I am beginning to understand more of men than I did when we parted. Itseems, you could make love to this lady without being in love with her?You even humiliated me in the eyes of the world, merely for the sake ofa vulgar intrigue?"
She astonished Meredith with every word she spoke. His little Joyce hadsuddenly become a woman, a thousand times more wonderful than he hadever known her.
"I am innocent of anything but an ordinary flirtation, of which I amheartily ashamed, believe it or not," he returned pacing the floorrestlessly, his face pallid, his eyes miserable. "What are you going todo?" coming to a stop before her. It was as well
that he should know theworst she contemplated.
"I don't know ... but I cannot advertise my shame to the world!" shesaid icily as she turned to leave the room.
"Where are you going?"
"There is my trunk. I shall need to engage a room."
"Sit down by the fire, and I will see to everything for you."
Joyce sank nervelessly into a chair and saw him leave the room, only tore-enter shortly afterwards with the news that the hotel, being full,she would have to occupy his own bedroom while he made shift with thedressing-room attached.
Joyce scarcely heeded him. So long as he was not to share her room,nothing mattered. "And what about the Planters' Ball tonight?" she askedto his profound surprise. "Are you going?"
"I was, but not now. How can you ask?" What on earth was she after?
"Why not? I would rather you kept your engagement--and--took me."
Meredith stared, wide-eyed. "You?" For the moment he thought her mindderanged. How could she contemplate taking part in a frivolous socialfunction in the midst of their tragedy? Their lives were sundered; theirhappiness blasted; and she was thinking of the Planters' Ball!
Joyce was thinking of the women who were expecting to enjoy thespectacle of Ray Meredith's flirtation with Mrs. Dalton; and no doubtthere were a great many others also prepared to amuse themselves at hisexpense, and her eyes hardened. A jealous determination to punish thewoman who had spoiled the happy relations between husband and wife,possessed her, so that the idea of slighting her publicly at this grandball was a temptation. That her husband would slight Mrs. Dalton, shehad no doubt. There was no mistaking the look in his eyes. Honor Brighthad said that, were he guilty of wrong-doing, self-loathing and remorsewould punish him more heavily than she could conceive of! He was alreadyashamed, and would yet repent in the dust at his wife's feet. When thatcame to pass, she might see fit to relent--not now. Now her whole soulwas in revolt. Her heart felt like stone in her breast. What wouldanother woman have done in her place? She had no experience. Honor hadadvised her against precipitancy. She would act with infinitedeliberation, surpassing anything Honor would have counselled. Honor hadtalked of love! For the moment she had lost her faith in love, and knewno feeling so strong as revenge. She would go to the ball, and Rayshould have no eyes for any other woman but his wife. It had been so inthe past, and it would be so again, or she would hate to live. Peoplehad always said that she was pretty, and she had been glad for his sake.She was more than glad now; for it put the strongest weapon forpunishment into her hand.
Meanwhile, her husband was amazed that she should think of the ball,and, doubtless, feared she was mad!
"I am not insane, if that is what is on your mind. But I have to thinkof the future," she said coldly. The future was another point that Honorsaid, would have to be considered. "We shall go to this dance togetherto keep up appearances. For the same reason, we shall, if you have noobjection, dance a great deal together. For Baby's sake the world mustthink that we are rejoiced to come together again after so many monthsapart, and it might help to make people forget the ugly things they havebeen saying. Do you mind?"
"Not at all. You shall do as you please, in this, as in everythingelse."
"I have no doubt Mrs. Dalton will find someone in the hotel to escorther?"
"She can take care of herself."
"Very well then," looking at her watch, "perhaps I had better dress, forit is rather near the dinner hour."
"And is that all you have to say to me?" he asked with quivering lips.
"What would you have me say?"
"Anything would be better than this coldness--this avoidance of all thatis most vital to us both. Even if you raved and stormed, I could standit better, for I might have a chance to explain. Things are not as badas you think."
"They are bad enough for me!" she returned calmly, her lovely profileand the lowered sweep of her eyelashes, her straight carriage and thegentle curve of her bosom, outlined against the dark hangings of thewindow.
"Will you listen to me for a bit?"
"I would rather not."
"Then you condemn me outright?"
"You have condemned yourself."
"You cannot have forgotten my love for you?" he cried desperately.
She turned and lifted grave, blue eyes to his face in mute condemnation.
"You do not understand--I have been ill--I don't seem to have beenmyself for a long time, I--I--it seemed to me that you did not care afarthing what became of me. You left it to me to cable if I wanted youwhen you should have known that I was yearning for nothing so much as asight of your face. It was pointed out to me that any woman with a sparkof true love for her own man, would have let nothing stand in the way ofher joining him the moment she heard of his illness. Did you?" Helaughed harshly. "No! It was the old story, 'Baby,' and always, 'Baby!'God!--you never cared."
"I cared so much, that I never wanted to amuse myself with another manthough I had plenty of opportunities." Yet, his passionate denunciationhad gone home.
"Joyce, am I to have no chance?"
With a gesture of disgust, she dismissed the subject peremptorily, andpassed out of the sitting-room, trembling with emotion from head tofoot.
In the adjoining apartment, which was his bedroom, she struggled withthe straps of her fibre trunk till they were taken out of her hands andthe leathers unbuckled, by her husband who had followed her in. Joycewatched him with a pain at her heart as he bent over his task. A lumpcame into her throat too big to swallow. She felt choked with a risinghysteria which only a great effort of will controlled. He looked sohandsome, so like the lover-husband she had known, that it was all shecould do not to fling herself into his arms and say "Let us forgeteverything and remember only our love!" Her natural place was in hisarms now that she had come out all that distance to be with him;instead, they had not even exchanged the most formal of greetings! Hehad been false to her--a crime no woman feels disposed to forgive.
"I had to come in here as this is the only way to my dressing-room,"Meredith explained as he rose to his feet.
Joyce thanked him coldly and watched him pass through the heavy curtainswhich separated the two rooms and was the only apology for a door. Whenhe was gone, she writhed in anguish. Oh, if she could have crushed herpride and called out to him to come back!
It was not so easy, however, and she hardened her heart for the taskthat lay before her.
While dressing, her trembling fingers almost refusing their work, shewondered how Mrs. Dalton would behave when they met again? If she wouldhave the audacity to speak to Ray? A woman of her sort would be equal toany impertinence. Why had she not returned to her husband, who, Honorhad said, was willing to take her back? At all events, Joyce wasinfinitely glad she was on the spot to curtail the woman's opportunitiesfor further mischief. It was worth the risk of the journey.
When she slipped on her evening gown, a rich, black _crepe de chine_,she was seized with consternation when she remembered that it fastenedat the back. Under no circumstance would it meet without assistance. Amaid, or an ayah?--Both were equally impossible to procure at a moment'snotice.
She made several futile efforts, then looked about her in dismay! Whatwas to be done? Flushed, and in despair, she cast a glance at thecurtains behind which lay her only hope. Her husband had oftenofficiated with the hooks and eyes, and was otherwise expert as a maid.The only alternative was to forego the ball and her great reprisal; andthis was unthinkable now that all her hopes were centred on revenge. HadJoyce belonged to a lower order of society, she would probably havegratified her wrath by making a scene and scratching out the woman'seyes, or tearing out her hair in handfuls. As it was, the picture ofMrs. Dalton seated as a wall-flower, openly despised and neglected bythe man she had tried to seduce from his allegiance, appealed powerfullyto her imagination.
Timidly she called, "Can you help me, please?"
There was no answer.
"Ray!" her voice was still more diffident, but her call met withimmedia
te response. Ray who had not yet begun to change for dinner, waswith her in an instant.
"I cannot dress without help. Will you please?" she asked frigidly.
Meredith took infinite pains, his face, as reflected in the mirror,looking haggard and pale. He had never seen his wife in black, which wasan excellent foil to her fair beauty, and the sight of her rendered himtongue-tied. He had nothing to say even when she dismissed him with a"Thanks, I'll manage very well, now."
When Joyce entered the winter-garden,--the principal lounge of thehotel, with glazed roof and walls, its interior full of floweringorchids, palms, and tropical plants of varied beauty, she saw Mrs.Dalton already there, resplendent in crimson satin and jewellery,cultivating the acquaintance of new-comers to Darjeeling who had arrivedby the train that day. It was a daring gown for colour and cut, andJoyce was put in mind of the description she had overheard in the train,of the lady's ball-room attire. Mrs. Dalton evidently set a high valueon the generous curves of her handsome shoulders, for she displayed themwith liberality.
Ray entering soon afterwards, performed a few introductions with aself-control that was remarkable, considering his shaken nerves, afterwhich they passed into the glare of the dining-hall to the table atwhich he had always dined in company with men.
Joyce excelled him in her power to sustain the role she had marked outfor them both. Her manner was winning and delightful, and, but forMeredith's inner knowledge, it might have misled his hopes disastrously.
"Yes," she once said with subtle meaning as she smiled at an ardentadmirer who had been captivated at first sight, "I would not cable orwire, for I wanted to give my dear husband the surprise of his life. Youcan imagine his feelings! It is a mercy that joy seldom kills, or hemight have died on the spot. And I am so glad I came, though I had toleave my wee baby with his grannie. But things might have become toodifficult later, owing to the war; and I could not be parted from Rayindefinitely; could I, dear?" to her husband.
Ray smiled unsteadily.
"India is such a delightful country. Nothing will induce me to leave itin a hurry again. Do you know Muktiarbad? No? It's a little paradisethough officials will call it a Penal Settlement!"
"Lucky dog, your husband!" said an admirer fatuously. "And so plucky ofyou to go to the ball tonight, after your long and fatiguing journey. Ihope I may have a dance?"
"Certainly. You surely did not think I would deprive my husband of thispleasure when he is, I am sure, one of the best dancers in Darjeeling? Ishould never have been forgiven by his friends!"
"May I have the first 'Boston'?"
"That is for my husband to decide," she said archly with the familiarplay of the eyelashes and dimple peeping in and out of her cheek. "Hehas first choice of the dances on my programme."
"We'll see about the programme when we are there," said Meredithquietly. His position was more than he could support.
"I mean to enjoy myself thoroughly tonight!" sighed Joyce.
Meredith stole a glance at his wife and noted the feverish light ofexcitement in her eyes, under which blue shadows of fatigue lay, and thenervous movement of her fingers as they crumbled her bread into morsels.He could see that she, too, was suffering from nerves.
"Damn the ball!" he cursed inwardly. He had no interest in it; no wishto be there.
"Are you sure you are not too tired?" he asked her, longing for aloophole for escape.
"Not in the least," she replied, over-doing her part by touching hishand lightly with her fingers. It was a graceful mark of confidence andaffection which won the indulgence of all the men at that table; but toMeredith it was deliberate cruelty. Her touch was an electric shock, andhis heart stood still for a moment while the room swam before his eyes.He made no reply, but having finished dinner, rose abruptly, withoutwaiting for the initiative to come from her. Across the room was thewoman who had often hung upon his breast with her cheap caresses andoffers of love which he had been too weak to spurn altogether. Alreadythe sight of her flaunting charms nauseated him.
* * * * *
A 'rickshaw carried Joyce to the Club while her husband accompanied heron foot. When he tried to engage her in conversation, he had to learnthat her bright speeches were only for others. When they were alone, shewas dumb. It was clear that he had sinned in her eyes past all hope offorgiveness.
At the ball, Meredith went through his part as in a dream. He smiled toorder, made many introductions, and danced with his wife, and no other.Obedient to her example, he made idle conversation while they dancedtogether, though his heart was on fire with longing; and when he was notdancing with her, he could but watch her from the doorways, rememberingthe existence of friends only when they accosted him; appearinghopelessly absent and inconsequent the while.
It seemed to him that his life was broken and ended.
"You're a dark horse, you blighter," he was chaffed. "Keeping it up yoursleeve all this time that your wife was on her way out!"
"Introduce me, old son," said the _aide-de-camp_ to the Governor. "Mrs.Meredith dances divinely."
"Let me congratulate you, Meredith," said the Governor, in hisfriendliest manner. "Your wife is the most charming little woman I havemet for some time. I have quite lost my heart to her!" He patted Ray'sshoulder to impress the fact on "this foolish fellow" who had scarcely"played the game" in his lovely little lady's absence. "It was a damnedshame!"
Joyce was unquestionably the "belle of the ball"; there were no twoopinions about that. Few remembered that she had been at Darjeeling theprevious season, since she had kept to her hotel as a semi-invalid witha very young child; so that she had the additional advantage of beingfresh. India loves new sensations and is grateful to those who supplythem, gratis.
Men surrounded her and paid her marked attentions, fought with eachother, good-naturedly, for portions of dances, and served her as aprincess at the suppers. Yet, in spite of her bewildering success, shenever forgot the object that had taken her there, and was more thanrepaid. Her manner to her husband was faultless, and it kept himregardful of her slightest wish. Her mission was to charm all, herhusband in particular, so that Mrs. Dalton's humiliation should becomplete; and before midnight, victory was achieved. Mrs. Dalton orderedher 'rickshaw at the stroke of twelve, and retired from the ball, heralmost empty programme in pieces on the floor. She had been overlookedby men, cut by women, and obliged to look on, with a raging heart, atMrs. Meredith's triumph. Ray Meredith, with the rudeness of uttercontempt, had left her absolutely alone. The cruelty of his behaviourhad been insupportable. When, on one occasion, she had seized the chanceof a word with him, he was deaf to her exhortations, and she was shakenoff with a contemptuous disregard for her feelings.
When she left the building, it was to suffer the tortures of a womanscorned. She was learning to swallow that bitterest of all pills, theknowledge that she was utterly despised by the man for whom she had beenwilling to lower her womanhood in the dust.
She had come to the realisation of the fact that the woman who lowersherself in the eyes of men, will inevitably find herself shamed andscorned.
* * * * *
When she arrived at the hotel, she brooded far into the night over herbedroom fire, reviewing bitterly her moral decline from the day of herfirst great mistake. Feeling unable to face the people who had known herin the Station, she departed the next morning for Muktiarbad, leavingher infantile charge and its ayah to the tender mercies of theSanitarium.