Everyone turned to look at me, even Jared.
“Watch the road!” I yelled as the van started to move toward the center line.
Jared jerked the wheel back and Becky screamed. I may have peed a little; it was hard to tell in my wet pants.
“Tell us,” Sam said.
“When you guys went to the bathroom and left me in the van. Tim was in here with me and we had this conversation, and then I was waking up again and we had almost the same conversation.”
“Oh my god!” Tim said, buzzing up to fly in front of me. “You’re saying I was in the time slip?”
I nodded. “Did you feel it?”
He looked up into his head as he rested a finger on his lips. “Hmmm, did I feel myself time slipping …?” His finger dropped away as he shook his head. “Nope. I don’t remember anything amiss, other than your inability to keep up with the conversation.”
“What’s he saying?” Jared asked, glancing at me in the mirror again.
“He’s saying he didn’t notice anything other than my awkward behavior, which was the result of being confused about why were having the same conversation we’d already had.”
“Any other time slips you can think of?” Tony asked.
“No. Just those two.”
Spike spoke up. “Can we assume these will be her only slips, or should we expect more?”
“Expect more, since the ones she’s already experienced didn’t work,” Sam said.
I had to blink a few times in silence at that one, making sure I understood what Sam was saying. “Didn’t work?” I finally said. “Seemed like they worked pretty damn well to me.” I wiggled my soggy toes in my wet shoes.
“You’re still here and you’re in once piece, so obviously, it didn’t work.”
I felt the blood draining away from my face. “One piece? As in … someone wants to slice and dice me?”
“No,” she shook her head, “as in someone wants to keep you from moving forward, so they’re pulling you back to interfere in your progress.”
“Oh. Well … that’s way better than being dismembered.”
“Maybe,” she said, but stopped there.
A sound very much like a whimper escaped my lips. “Worse than dismemberment? Wow. Shit. Sign me up for that.”
“Who’s responsible for this?” Spike asked Sam. “Can you put some kind of feelers out in the magic or something?”
She shook her head. “I’m sure they’re long gone. But whoever it is, they obviously want to interfere in Jayne getting to the portal.”
“Ben,” I said with my best menacing tone. “A pain in my ass in the Here and Now and still a pain in my ass in the Otherworlds.”
“It’s probably not Ben,” Felicia said. “Theresa told me he’s totally obsessed with his training. He isn’t thinking about anyone but himself.”
“Probably thinks it’ll make him so powerful, he’ll be able to take over all three realms,” I mumbled.
No one said anything to that, probably because they didn’t agree, but I didn’t care. Ben was a power hungry a-hole of the highest degree, and I had pretty much zero faith that his little training camp with a dragon was going to change that. All his new position had done was give him a bigger head, and I wouldn’t have thought that possible before. I already wondered what kind of crazy magic made him able to fit through doorways with that giant blimp of a head balanced on his shoulders.
“Jayne, can you put some of The Green around you to keep you protected?” Tony asked.
“I can try. But I’d rather do one that includes all of us, if you guys are okay with that.”
“Do it. Just while we’re in the car,” Jared said. “The only ones who might be able to see it are fae, and we can risk being seen this way on the autoroute. When we arrive, different story, but we’ll deal with that when we get there.”
I connected with The Green, my nerves somewhat calmed by the fact that it was right there and not cut off from me anymore. I imagined a bubble of clear light that would keep us protected against any wayward spells or troublemakers trying to tap into my timeline. I had no idea if it would work, but it was worth a shot. I felt the buzz of The Green’s presence as the bubble formed around us.
“Mmmm, feels like a wing massage,” Tim said, floating down to rest on my leg.
“How much farther do we have?” Jared asked Finn.
Finn wrestled with the map in the front passenger seat and checked a sign we drove past before answering. “Looks like about … eleven hundred kilometers, give or take.”
“Kilometers? What’s that in miles?” I asked.
“I ain’t got no idea. This map here’s got kilometers.” He turned to me and shrugged. “Sorry.”
“How long is it?” Becky asked. I could hear her chewing her nougat behind me.
I reached my hand back. “Give me some of that nougat, would ya?” I couldn’t listen to her eat it and not try it.
“About fourteen hours,” Jared said. “Depending on how many times we stop along the way.”
“I vote we don’t stop,” I said, now fearing public toilets. “I can pee in the woods.”
“So can I,” Becky said.
“Me three,” said Felicia.
Sam sighed. “I guess I can too.”
“Good, it’s decided, then,” said Tony. “No rest stops. We pick places off the main road, in the woods, if possible. Keep a low profile.”
I snorted. Good luck with that. I have tried and tried to do that for all of my fae life, but a big, loud, colorful profile is the only one I can ever seem to have.
Chapter Five
AFTER A HELLACIOUSLY LONG ROAD trip that included an underwater tunnel between countries that I could have lived without, we arrived at the Isle of Skye, otherwise known as Hell frozen over. Holy shit, it was cold. Apparently, Spring didn’t really happen here. The wind was unbelievable; I swear it carried frostbite with it as a passenger or something. “What the hell happened to Spring? Did they not get the memo out here or what?”
I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed for all I was worth, but no amount of self-created friction was going to beat this temperature. Thank the Fates I only had to squat in the woods three times on the way here, the last stop being much farther south than this place. Not that it had been comfortable by any means, but at least I could say I’d survived the no-public-potties plan unscathed; Becky, on the other hand, got bitten by a bug on her buttcheek back in France, so she complained most of the way. She was scratching away at her ass as we stood out in the parking lot of the B&B that was supposed to take us in for the night.
“Isn’t it a little late to be arriving at a B&B?” Felicia asked, looking around her uncomfortably. She didn’t seem to be affected by the cold. Must be her hot blood.
I’d never stayed in one before, so I had no idea about B&B protocols, but it sure didn’t look like any hotel I’d ever been in. It was an old rambling house out in the middle of nowhere, and not exactly built square, if the roof was anything to judge by. Seemed as if they’d be lucky to be having any guests at all, so I doubted they’d be upset about us showing up at midnight.
“The owner knows what we are. She’s one of us,” Jared explained, pulling his overnight bag out of the back of the van and dropping it on the ground before he reached for the others. “We couldn’t risk staying with a human.”
“There’re enough rooms in there for all of us?” Scrum asked, picking up his bag and Sam’s.
“Gnome-heads sleep out back!” Tim said, flying around us, making an extra big loop past Scrum.
“Yes. I assumed, Jayne, that you’d want to be with Spike and Tim. Becky, you’re with Finn. Tony, you’re with Felicia, and Sam … you’re with … yourself. Scrum, you’re with me.”
Sam reached over and yanked her bag out of Scrum’s hand. “Got it,” she said, moving toward the front door of the place.
Jared stared after her, frowning and clueless about her sudden flash of temper, if I were reading his expression correctly.
But I knew the nasty spell hangover I’d suffer if I got involved in Sam’s love life, so I let it go. For now, anyway, I was going to let nature take its course. But after all this companion to a dragon crap was over? Different story. I smiled thinking about the trouble I was going to cause getting Jared and Sam together.
We approached the front door as a group, but then Jared and I separated off and left the rest of them at the bottom of the front porch stairs. The boards under our feet squeaked and cracked with the cold. My breath hung in front of my face as a white cloud that took a long time to dissipate.
Jared waited with his hand hovering in front of the door. “You ready for this?”
I frowned at him. “Ready for what? Going to sleep? Hells yeah, I’m ready.”
He faced the door, knocking three times very loudly.
I narrowed my eyes and looked at him sideways. “Any particular reason you just did that?”
“Did what?” He shrugged, but Jared trying to come off as innocent is about as subtle as an orc walking through the Green Forest, belching the entire way.
“Three knocks. You know what I’m talking about.”
He faced the door more fully and squared his shoulders.
“Great.” I rolled my eyes. Something told me I was about to meet someone who was going to piss me off.
No sooner had that thought flitted around my brain than a voice came through the door. “Who is it?!” Whoever it was had a hearing problem, that was for sure. Either that, or they thought their door was three feet thick and it wasn’t.
“It’s Jared Bloodworth. I have a reservation for five rooms.”
“We’re full! No vacancy! Go away!”
Jared put his hand flat on the door’s surface and leaned in toward it before responding. “The Fates do what needs must.” He waited about five seconds and then dropped his hand.
“Is that Maggie behind that door?” I whispered.
He shook his head, but otherwise stood there like a stupid zombie. I nudged him on the arm to make sure he was still with me in the Here and Now, but he lifted a finger and put it to his lips, telling me to be quiet.
I sighed out a huff of air, but waited as instructed. Like I had nothing better to do than stand out on that creaky ass porch freezing my buttcheeks off. I rubbed my arms some more and snuck a look behind me. Tim was hovering in the air at the base of the stairs, doing a mime act, pretending like there was an invisible wall in front of him. I frowned, trying to figure out if he was really blocked from coming up beside me or if he was just messing around. It was impossible to tell. I held my hand out and reached it toward him to invite him to come sit on me, but Jared grabbed it and used it to turn me back around. Holy parent move. He must want to die. Staring holes in the side of his face did me no good at all. He was back to being robot zombie Jared, staring at the door. God, sometimes he was so annoying.
“All right, I’ve had about enough of this,” I said after waiting another thirty seconds. I reached out and banged on the door about ten times in quick succession. Jared grabbed my hand to keep me from delivering any more of my knocking awesomeness, but that didn’t stop me from talking. “Hey, Lady! We have reservations, so you can’t be full! Open up!”
“Jayne, don’t!” he whisper-growled at me.
I stuck my tongue out at him, shoving him a little and forcing him to drop my hand. “Shut up. My asscheeks are freezing, I have ten solid ice cubes for toes, and my nostril hairs are getting prickly. Either she lets us in or we go find another hotel. I’m not standing out here playing games all night. It’s past my bedtime. You know I get cranky when I’m tired.”
A loud boom from the other side of the door made me jump. Jared’s eyes going big made me think I should have been approximately twice as scared as I actually was. And then a second boom and a third joined the first, so Jared and I backed away from the door a few paces. Just to be safe, I told myself … give myself some room to start swinging my arms around if necessary. Not that I was really scared or anything. I’d faced orcs down and lived to tell about it. I’d had my hand melted by a dragon. I’d seen the ass end of a bent-over gnome in a mini-skirt. Big footsteps? Pffft. Please. Come at me, bitch. See what happens.
The door handle moved and then a crack appeared in the entrance. Light came through in a weak beam, making a triangle of yellow appear on the frozen porch.
“Who is there?” asked a growly male voice.
“Jared Bloodworth of the Green Forest, and his crew of fae.” The fact that Jared’s voice was a little strained was impressive. He never let things get to him, and yet this B&B owner’s husband was making him nervous? Interesting. Granted, the guy sounded a little harsh and was probably a little overweight judging by the vibration those footsteps sent through the porch boards, but what the hell. Jared faced ugly man witches and psycho commando dwarves down all the time. He was the bravest guy I knew.
“Enter all who come with pure intentions.” The door swung open wide enough to show us who was standing there as our welcoming party. My jaw dropped open when I saw the fae before me.
On the left was a short, hunched over, bag of bones with a tuft of wiry hair at the top of it. I couldn’t tell if it was a woman or a man because the rest of the body and face were covered with a cloak and hood, but the voice had sure sounded female. I was going to go with that until I saw a bulge or something else man-like on her person. To her right was an ogre, but a big one. Bigger than any I’d seen in the Green Forest. He made Ivar look like a punk little brother or something. I wondered if maybe he wasn’t some kind of troll. Do they have those in the Here and Now? I’d only ever met one in the Gray, between the realms.
Jared bowed at the waist. “Em hotep.”
I stared at him, wondering if I was expected to do the same. What in the hell did he just say? Was that Japanese or what? Another glance at the hunched over figure did not reveal any Asian heritage. It was too dark in the entrance to see much of anything on this fae’s face, though, so she could have been an alien with three noses for all I knew.
“Blessed be!” the hunch-back yelled, reaching out with its cane to poke Jared in the knee.
He grunted when it made impact, but didn’t say or do anything but stand straighter.
I held up my hand and waved. “I’m a hotstep, and blessed bees to you too.” I tried to curtsy, but missed the mark when my frozen toes failed to inform me when my feet were in the right position. I started to fall but thankfully caught myself on Jared instead of busting my ass on the porch.
“What did she say?!” the person yelled.
After hearing the voice again, I was almost definitely sure it was a she. And her voice sounded eerily familiar. I couldn’t decide whether to be wary about that or throw a party. I leaned in closer and bent over a little, trying to see the face partially hidden by the hood. “Maggie? Is that you in there?”
“Ha!” she yelled and then whacked me with her stick, the bottom of it flying out and catching me in the shin before I even knew it was coming. “Maggie! Never heard of her!”
I bent over involuntarily, grabbing at my now throbbing leg, but before I could lash out with a little retribution elemental style, a funny feeling rushed into me and the word burst out of me on its own. “Lie!”
The woman slammed her stick down on the ground and then moved in slowly, getting closer and closer to us. Jared leaned back a little, but I didn’t. I just stared her down, still partially bent over. I was going to have a damn lump the size of a golf ball on my shin bone, and no amount of rubbing was going to change that, but I kept on doing it anyway, planning for my next move. I’d had about enough of the witchy bitchy games, and I was getting a very strong feeling this was one of them. I was not in the mood to play.
“What did you just say?” she asked softly. Apparently her hearing problem came and went, depending on the situation.
“I said, Lie. You know Maggie, I know you do.”
Her voice was softer this time. “You are bold, girl. Too bold,
methinks.”
My head was spinning with the ridiculousness of the situation. We drove all the way here from France to be shut out of this crappy ass wannabe hotel in the middle of the night? I don’t think so. My sleep deprivation monster took over. “Well methinks that it’s colder than a witch’s boob out here and I’ve been riding in that foot-smelly van for over seventeen hours, most of them with wet toes and socks, and I have a date with a dragon in a few days and I don’t have time to stand out on your rickety porch all night while you play your witchy games. That’s what methinks. So open up and let me in or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow this mother down.” I didn’t control wind, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t put a hurtin’ on this place. And I’d do it too. I was outer limits pissed over that caning I’d just gotten. I could feel the lump throbbing under my skin. What the hell, man? I thought we had a reservation. Since when did a caning come with check-in?
Jared grabbed me and shoved me behind him, standing up as straight as he could to make himself look bigger. Now my view of everything was blocked by his back. “Forgive her. She’s an innocent.”
I stood on my tiptoes to see over him, fixing the old hag with a stare. “Innocent, my butt. I meant every word.”
The ogre took a step forward, but the witch’s staff coming out and knocking him in the knee stopped him. I felt a tug on my power and my instincts kicked in. The Green flowed into me from the ground, and when I sensed how open the channel was, I realized we were standing over a ley line. My suspicion that this old bag of bones was somehow related to Maggie hit me double time. I used the ley line to enhance my connection and threw up a stronger bubble of protection around not just Jared and me but all my friends behind me too.
“How dare you use your power in my presence,” she growled. A spark of bluish white light shot out of the end of her staff and hit my bubble. She muttered something at the same time, making me think I was probably being spelled with a little extra whammy for good measure. A funny sound —Doooiiink— echoed through my Green light bubble as both the light and the words hit us and then shimmered over the entire structure. I felt nothing but the resonance of power that couldn’t touch us.