Your invitation is very obliging; but a moment's reflection willconvince you of the extreme impropriety of my accepting it.
Assure Mrs. Rivers, that her son will not lose a moment, that hewill probably be with her as soon as this letter; assure her also, thatthe woman who has kept him from her, can never forgive herself for whatshe suffers.
I am too much afflicted to say more than that
I am, Madam, Emily Montague.
LETTER 145.
To Miss Montague, at Silleri.
Montreal, May 20.
It is with a pleasure no words can express I tell my sweet Emily, Ihave fixed on a situation which promises every advantage we can wish asto profit, and which has every beauty that nature can give.
The land is rich, and the wood will more than pay the expence ofclearing it; there is a settlement within a few leagues, on which thereis an extreme agreable family: a number of Acadians have applied to meto be received as settlers: in short, my dear angel, all seems to smileon our design.
I have spent some days at the house of a German officer, lately inour service, who is engaged in the same design, but a little advancedin it. I have seen him increasing every hour his little domain, byclearing the lands; he has built a pretty house in a beautiful rusticstyle: I have seen his pleasing labors with inconceivable delight. Ialready fancy my own settlement advancing in beauty: I paint to myselfmy Emily adorning those lovely shades; I see her, like the mother ofmankind, admiring a new creation which smiles around her: we appear, tomy idea, like the first pair in paradise.
I hope to be with you the 1st of June: will you allow me to set downthe 2d as the day which is to assure to me a life of happiness?
My Acadians, your new subjects, are waiting in the next room tospeak with me.
All good angels guard my Emily.
Adieu! your Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 146.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, May 24.
Emily has wrote to you, and appears more composed; she does nothowever tell me what she has resolved; she has only mentioned a designof spending a week at Quebec. I suppose she will take no resolutiontill your brother comes down: he cannot be here in less than ten days.
She has heard from him, and he has fixed on a settlement: dependhowever on his return to England, even if it is not to stay. I wish hecould prevail on Mrs. Rivers to accompany him back. The advantages ofhis design are too great to lose; the voyage is nothing; the climatehealthy beyond all conception.
I fancy he will marry as soon as he comes down from Montreal, setoff in the first ship for England, leave Emily with me, and return tous next year: at least, this is the plan my heart has formed.
I wish Mrs. Rivers had born his absence better; her impatience tosee him has broken in on all our schemes; Emily and I had in fancyformed a little Eden on Lake Champlain: Fitzgerald had promised me toapply for lands near them; we should have been so happy in our littlenew world of friendship.
There is nothing certain in this vile state of existence: I couldphilosophize extremely well this morning.
All our little plans of amusement too for this summer are now at anend; your brother was the soul of all our parties. This is a trifle,but my mind to-day seeks for every subject of chagrin.
Let but my Emily be happy, and I will not complain, even if I loseher: I have a thousand fears, a thousand uneasy reflections: if youknew her merit, you would not wish to break the attachment.
My sweet Emily is going this morning to Quebec; I have promised toaccompany her, and she now waits for me.
I cannot write: I have a heaviness about my heart, which has neverleft me since I read your letter. 'Tis the only disagreable one I everreceived from my dear Lucy: I am not sure I love you so well as beforeI saw this letter. There is something unfeeling in the style of it,which I did not expect from you.
Adieu! your faithful A. Fermor.
LETTER 147.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, May 25.
I am unhappy beyond all words; my sweet Emily is gone to England;the ship sailed this morning: I am just returned from the beach, afterconducting her on board.
I used every art, every persuasion, in the power of friendship, toprevent her going till your brother came down; but all I said was invain. She told me, she knew too well her own weakness to hazard seeinghim; that she also knew his tenderness, and was resolved to spare himthe struggle between his affection and his duty; that she wasdetermined never to marry him but with the consent of his mother; thattheir meeting at Quebec, situated as they were, could only be thesource of unhappiness to both; that her heart doated on him, but thatshe would never be the cause of his acting in a manner unworthy hischaracter: that she would see his family the moment she got to London,and then retire to the house of a relation in Berkshire, where shewould wait for his arrival.
That she had given you her promise, which nothing should make herbreak, to embark in the first ship for England.
She expressed no fears for herself as to the voyage, but trembled atthe idea of her Rivers's danger.
She sat down several times yesterday to write to him, but her tearsprevented her: she at last assumed courage enough to tell him herdesign; but it was in such terms as convinced me she could not havepursued it, had he been here.
She went to the ship with an appearance of calmness that astonishedme; but the moment she entered, all her resolution forsook her: sheretired with me to her room, where she gave way to all the agony of hersoul.
The word was given to sail; I was summoned away; she rose hastily,she pressed me to her bosom, "Tell him, said she, his Emily"--shecould say no more.
Never in my life did I feel any sorrow equal to this separation.Love her, my Lucy; you can never have half the tenderness for her shemerits.
She stood on the deck till the ship turned Point Levi, her eyesfixed passionately on our boat.
Twelve o'clock.
I have this moment a letter from your brother to Emily, which shedirected me to open, and send to her; I inclose it to you, as thesafest way of conveyance: there is one in it from Temple to him, on thesame subject with yours to me.
Adieu! I will write again when my mind is more composed.
Yours, A. Fermor.
LETTER 148.
To Miss Montague, at Silleri.
Montreal, May 28.
It was my wish, my hope, my noblest ambition, my dear Emily, to seeyou in a situation worthy of you; my sanguine temper flattered me withthe idea of seeing this wish accomplished in Canada, though fortunedenied it me in England.
The letter which I inclose has put an end to those fond delusivehopes: I must return immediately to England; did not my own heartdictate this step, I know too well the goodness of yours, to expect thecontinuance of your esteem, were I capable of purchasing happiness,even the happiness of calling you mine, at the expence of my mother'slife, or even of her quiet.
I must now submit to see my Emily in an humbler situation; to seeher want those pleasures, those advantages, those honors, which fortunegives, and which she has so nobly sacrificed to true delicacy of mind,and, if I do not flatter myself, to her generous and disinterestedaffection for me.
Be assured, my dearest angel, the inconveniencies attendant on anarrow fortune, the only one I have to offer, shall be softened by allwhich the most lively esteem, the most perfect friendship, thetenderest love, can inspire; by that attention, that unweariedsolicitude to please, of which the heart alone knows the value.
Fortune has no power over minds like ours; we possess a treasure towhich all she has to give is nothing, the dear exquisite delight ofloving, and of being beloved.
Awake to all the finer feelings of tender esteem and elegant desire,we have every real good in each other.
I shall hurry down, the moment I have settled my affairs here; andhope soon to have the transport of presenting the most charming offriends, of mistresses, allow me to add,
of wives, to a mother whom Ilove and revere beyond words, and to whom she will soon be dearer thanmyself.
My going to England will detain me at Montreal a few days longerthan I intended; a delay I can very ill support.
Adieu! my Emily! no language can express my tenderness or myimpatience.
Your faithful Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 149.
To John Temple, Esq; Pall Mall.
Montreal, May 28.
I cannot enough, my dear Temple, thank you for your last, though itdestroys my air-built scheme of happiness.
Could I have supposed my mother would thus severely have felt myabsence, I had never left England; to make her easier, was my onlymotive for that step.
I with pleasure sacrifice my design of settling here to her peace ofmind; no consideration, however, shall ever make me give up that ofmarrying the best and most charming of women.
I could have wished to have had a fortune worthy of her; this was mywish, not that of my Emily; she will with equal pleasure share with mepoverty or riches: I hope her consent to marry me before I leaveCanada. I know the advantages of affluence, my dear Temple, and am tooreasonable to despise them; I would only avoid rating them above theirworth.
Riches undoubtedly purchase a variety of pleasures which are nototherwise to be obtained; they give power, they give honors, they giveconsequence; but if, to enjoy these subordinate goods, we must give upthose which are more essential, more real, more suited to our natures,I can never hesitate one moment to determine between them.
I know nothing fortune has to bestow, which can equal the transportof being dear to the most amiable, most lovely of womankind.
The stream of life, my dear Temple, stagnates without the gentlegale of love; till I knew my Emily, till the dear moment which assuredme of her tenderness, I could scarce be said to live.
Adieu! Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 150.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, June 1.
I can write, I can talk, of nothing but Emily; I never knew how muchI loved her till she was gone: I run eagerly to every place where wehave been together; every spot reminds me of her; I remember athousand conversations, endeared by confidence and affection: a tendertear starts in spite of me: our walks, our airings, our pleasing littleparties, all rush at once on my memory: I see the same lovely scenesaround me, but they have lost half their power of pleasing.
I visit every grove, every thicket, that she loved; I have aredoubled fondness for every object in which she took pleasure.
Fitzgerald indulges me in this enthusiasm of friendship; he leads meto every place which can recall my Emily's idea; he speaks of her witha warmth which shews the sensibility and goodness of his own heart; heendeavors to soothe me by the most endearing attention.
What infinite pleasure, my dear Lucy, there is in being trulybeloved! Fond as I have ever been of general admiration, that of allmankind is nothing to the least mark of Fitzgerald's tenderness.
Adieu! it will be some days before I can send this letter.
June 4.
The governor gives a ball in honor of the day; I am dressing to go,but without my sweet companion: every hour I feel more sensibly herabsence.
5th.
We had last night, during the ball, the most dreadful storm I everheard; it seemed to shake the whole habitable globe.
Heaven preserve my Emily from its fury: I have a thousand fears onher account.
Twelve o'clock.
Your brother is arrived; he has been here about an hour: he flew toSilleri, without going at all to Quebec; he enquired for Emily; hewould not believe she was gone.
There is no expressing how much he was shocked when convinced shehad taken this voyage without him; he would have followed her in anopen boat, in hopes of overtaking her at Coudre, if my father had notdetained him almost by force, and at last convinced him of theimpossibility of overtaking her, as the winds, having been constantlyfair, must before this have carried them out of the river.
He has sent his servant to Quebec, with orders to take passage forhim in the first ship that sails; his impatience is not to bedescribed.
He came down in the hope of marrying her here, and conducting herhimself to England; he forms to himself a thousand dangers to her,which he fondly fancies his presence could have averted: in short, hehas all the unreasonableness of a man in love.
I propose sending this, and a large packet more, by your brother,unless some unexpected opportunity offers before.
Adieu! my dear! Yours, A. Fermor.
LETTER 151.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
6th.
Your brother has taken his passage in a very fine ship, which willsail the 10th; you may expect him every hour after you receive this;which I send, with what I wrote yesterday, by a small vessel whichsails a week sooner then was intended.
Rivers persuades Fitzgerald to apply for the lands which he hadfixed upon on Lake Champlain, as he has no thoughts of ever returninghither.
I will prevent this, however, if I have any influence: I cannotthink with patience of continuing in America, when my two amiablefriends have left it; I had no motive for wishing a settlement here,but to form a little society of friends, of which they made theprincipal part.
Besides, the spirit of emulation would have kept up my courage, andgiven fire and brilliancy to my fancy.
Emily and I should have been trying who had the most lively geniusat creation; who could have produced the fairest flowers; who haveformed the woods and rocks into the most beautiful arbors, vistoes,grottoes; have taught the streams to flow in the most pleasingmeanders; have brought into view the greatest number and variety ofthose lovely little falls of water with which this fairy land abounds;and shewed nature in the fairest form.
In short, we should have been continually endeavoring, following theluxuriancy of female imagination, to render more charming the sweetabodes of love and friendship; whilst our heroes, changing theirswords into plough-shares, and engaged in more substantial, moreprofitable labors, were clearing land, raising cattle and corn, anddoing every thing becoming good farmers; or, to express it morepoetically,
"Taming the genius of the stubborn plain, Almost as quickly as they conquer'd Spain:"
By which I would be understood to mean the Havannah, where, vanityapart, I am told both of them did their duty, and a little more, if aman can in such a case be said to do more.
In one word, they would have been studying the useful, to supportus; we the agreable, to please and amuse them; which I take to beassigning to the two sexes the employments for which nature intendedthem, notwithstanding the vile example of the savages to the contrary.
There are now no farmeresses in Canada worth my contending with;therefore the whole pleasure of the thing would be at an end, even onthe supposition that friendship had not been the soul of our design.
Say every thing for me to Temple and Mrs. Rivers; and to my dearestEmily, if arrived.
Adieu! your faithful A. Fermor.
LETTER 152.
To the Earl of ----.
Silleri, June 6, 1767.
It is very true, my Lord, that the Jesuit missionaries stillcontinue in the Indian villages in Canada; and I am afraid it is noless true, that they use every art to instill into those people anaversion to the English; at least I have been told this by the Indiansthemselves, who seem equally surprized and piqued that we do not sendmissionaries amongst them.
Their ideas of christianity are extremely circumscribed, and theygive no preference to one mode of our faith above another; they regarda missionary of any nation as a kind father, who comes to instruct themin the best way of worshiping the Deity, whom they suppose morepropitious to the Europeans than to themselves; and as an ambassadorfrom the prince whose subject he is: they therefore think it a mark ofhonor, and a proof of esteem, to receive missionaries; and to ourremissness, and the French wise attentio
n on this head, is owing theextreme attachment the greater part of the savage nations have ever hadto the latter.
The French missionaries, by studying their language, their manners,their tempers, their dispositions; by conforming to their way of life,and using every art to gain their esteem, have acquired an influenceover them which is scarce to be conceived; nor would it be difficultfor ours to do the same, were they judiciously chose, and properlyencouraged.
I believe I have said, that there is a striking resemblance betweenthe manners of the Canadians and the savages; I should have explainedit, by adding, that this resemblance has been brought about, not by theFrench having won the savages to receive European manners, but by thevery contrary; the peasants having acquired the savage indolence inpeace, their activity and ferocity in war; their fondness for fieldsports, their hatred of labor; their love of a wandering life, and ofliberty; in the latter of which they have been in some degree indulged,the laws here being much milder, and more favorable to the people, thanin France.
Many of the officers also, and those of rank in the colony troops,have been adopted into the savage tribes; and there is strongerevidence than, for the honor of humanity, I would wish there was, thatsome of them have led the death dance at the execution of Englishcaptives, have even partook the horrid repast, and imitated them in alltheir cruelties; cruelties, which to the eternal disgrace, not only ofour holy religion, but even of our nature, these poor people, whoseignorance is their excuse, have been instigated to, both by the Frenchand English colonies, who, with a fury truly diabolical, have offeredrewards to those who brought in the scalps of their enemies. Rousseauhas taken great pains to prove that the most uncultivated nations arethe most virtuous: I have all due respect for this philosopher, ofwhose writings I am an enthusiastic admirer; but I have a still greaterrespect for truth, which I believe is not in this instance on his side.