I sighed as I hopped out of Tristan’s truck. At least I was alive.
“So what’s wrong with your car again?” Tristan squinted at me while we squeezed our way through the student parking lot.
“It’s not so much a car anymore.” I kept my eyes focused forward.
“If it’s not a car, what is it?” He grinned at me as if my response was the most adorable thing he’d ever heard.
“A portal to Hell.”
He stopped grinning. Actually, he stopped moving. I spun around to find him completely paralyzed in the middle of the parking lot.
“A portal to what?” he grated out.
“Hey! Did you ride with Tristan this morning?” Piper bounded up to us, ignoring Tristan who still stood stunned and confused in the middle of the road.
“Yep.”
“What’s wrong with your car?” she asked breezily.
“It’s a portal to Hell!” Tristan shouted after us.
I smiled and rolled my eyes and remembered Piper knew the truth now so I could be honest with her.
“Seriously?” she gaped.
“Seriously.”
“Well, is there like… I don’t know, can you get it detailed or something?”
I laughed. “I’m not sure. I’ll call and ask when I get home.”
She laughed with me and linked her arm through mine. Still smiling she mimicked a professional voice, “Hi, yes, I’d like the six-six-six special. Spend extra time on the rabbit hole to hell. I’ll pay extra if you can remove the demon smell.” She hung up her imaginary phone and squeezed me into her. “I’m glad you survived the night.”
“Me too.”
“How about Seth? Did he make it too?”
A crippling sorrow tore through me but I was able to nod my head. “He did. He made it through the night.”
“And the other guy? The one that cost us the game and is hereby no longer the female favorite of Mead High? Did he make it?”
I gave her a curious look before figuring out who she was talking about. “Jude?” I gasped. “You lost?”
“That we did. It was painful. We should have won, but we were all a bit off after you ran out of the gym to go save the world.” I snorted. While that was all true, Piper’s blasé delivery lightened my guilt. “So Sterling gets bragging rights for another year, but Jude’s love life is going to suffer severely and that’s all I really ask out of life, you know? Just that through the work that you do, we take down one man-whore at a time.”
“I thought you were Team Jude?”
She shook her head. “Not since I found out he’s in love with you. What kind of future Mr. Stella Day pines over you one second and makes out with everything sporting two boobs and a mouth every other second?”
“As opposed to two boobs and no mouth?”
“You’re the alien, not me.” She raised her hands and gave me some space.
Tristan had caught back up to us by now and insinuated himself right in between us with both of his arms slung over our shoulders. I did a double take when Piper didn’t shrug him off.
What? We’d moved onto physical contact? Apparently, finding out your mutual best friend is a Star and not native to your home planet was a bonding experience. What happened to the utter loathing and hatred between them?
“Jude’s in love with you?” Tristan asked bluntly.
I said, “No,” at the same time Piper declared, “Duh!”
Tristan chuckled. “Did he tell you he loves you?”
I shook my head. “Obviously not. He’s just… he’s not what I expected.”
“Do you love him?” Tristan demanded immediately.
I gave him a soft smile. “No, of course not. It’s just that we’ve struck up this kind of a tentative alliance and I don’t want to destroy it by crushing his tiny, itty-bitty heart into pulverized ash.”
“You’re sure you don’t love him?” Tristan narrowed his eyes and examined my face.
I laughed out loud. The idea of me having feelings for Jude was so ridiculous I could barely stomach the idea. “Really, I can’t stand him and just barely trust him. I’m very confident I’m not in love with him. In fact, the entire idea makes me sick to my stomach. I just don’t want to mess up the peace. I have to get as much out of it as I can before he goes AWOL again and his true colors come out.”
“Ouch,” Jude’s unmistakable sarcastic tone barked through our conversation triangle. My eyes slammed shut from embarrassment and my heart dropped to my stomach.
Shoot! I had not meant for him to hear any of that!
“So, if I have this right, you’re just using me for however long you have to put up with me? I’m just a means to an end? A necessary evil? You don’t have deep, adoring feelings for me that you pour into a journal for hours on end? You haven’t scribbled my name on your notebook in the middle of hearts and hearts with arrows and hearts surrounded by more hearts and hearts that have little heart babies with all our future children’s names inside those hearts? Wait, is my name not carved into a tree on top of your name with a plus sign in the middle? Have you not even carved our names into a tree yet?”
“Stop!” I burst out, terrified he would keep going. He sucked in a breath as if he were about to explode with more ridiculous questions but let it out slowly and nodded.
“We need to talk,” he said in a low voice and nodded his head back toward the front of the school.
I supposed that was true. He was playing like he didn’t care while we were still surrounded by other people, but I knew we would have to talk about this. I needed to let him down easily, gently. We still had to work together and I didn’t want his hurt feelings to get in the way.
By the time I had nodded my head and agreed to speak with Jude, he’d already spun around and stomped away.
“Sorry,” Piper and Tristan whispered at the same time.
I raised my eyebrows and gave them both a terrified look.
“Come on, Stel,” Tristan cajoled. “How many bad guys did you kill last night?”
I thought about that. “One and a half.” I counted Ari as a half. I did most of the work; Seth swooped in at the end and claimed all the glory.
Tristan gave me a confused look. “Well,” he cleared his throat. I knew he’d expected a higher body count from me. “That’s one and a half more bad guys than I killed last night. Letting Jude down won’t be half as hard as that.” He turned my shoulders and pushed me in the direction Jude had walked. He smacked me on the ass. “Go, get ‘em, Champ!”
I grabbed my butt through my jeans and scowled at him over my shoulder. “That was the worst pep talk in the history of pep talks.”
He smiled at me and ran a hand over his closely shaved head. His green eyes twinkled with that boyish charm I fell for every single time. “That was an amazing pep talk. I meant every word of it.”
“Oh, geez.”
“Give him hell, Stel,” Piper added helpfully.
“Save me a seat,” I called over my shoulder. I heard them snickering to each other while I dragged my feet to the front of the school where Jude waited for me in a short hallway that led to a storage room.
He leaned against a red painted, wide door and already lit up a cigarette. If I hadn’t known where he would go, I could have followed the scent of his tobacco. How was it that he hadn’t been suspended for smoking on school property yet?
It was completely baffling.
“We need to talk.” His voice was low and his tone hard. “I-”
I didn’t want to hear his confession of love so I beat him to it. “I’m sorry Jude, but I just don’t like you like that. We’re friends. Well, kind of friends. And I want to keep our relationship intact. You should know that it’s not you, either. You’re great. Really, really great. But I am completely invested in Seth. And last night cemented that in for me. I can’t have feelings for anyone else because I’m devoted to him.” His cigarette dangled from his mouth while his wide eyes stared at me incredulously. “Okay, I know tha
t you’re thinking it’s crazy to still have feelings for him, but I can’t help it! I’ve tried to move on. Believe me. I even tried to kill him last night! I mean, how would that be for moving on! Right? But I couldn’t go through with it and I know it’s because my feelings are way too strong. They eclipse me and all my common sense. I wish I could like you. I really do. I mean… you’re great. But I can’t. And I won’t. I will never get over these feelings for Seth. I just… You should just know that you’re gr-”
“If you call me great one more time, I swear on all that is holy, I will cut off your ponytail.”
I fingered my ponytail, realizing that he was absolutely serious. “You don’t have to be rude. I was trying to be honest.”
“But the question is why?” he choked out. His cheeks had actually heated with an embarrassed blush and he had to talk around the forgotten cigarette in the corner of his mouth. “Whatever gave you the impression that I wanted to know how you felt about me?”
I felt a pang of unease in my gut. “I just thought… Piper told me… Piper said you were in love with someone… someone that you couldn’t have. Someone that belonged to someone else.”
“And you thought that someone was you?” He sounded a little desperate and a lot hysterical.
“Not exactly,” I mumbled. It clearly wasn’t me, no matter what I’d thought. Obviously. Oh, geez. I started to feel like an idiot under Jude’s not-so-subtle letdown.
Jude choked on the same cigarette that still hung from his mouth. He stood up a little straighter and eyed me studiously. He rubbed a hand over his eyes as if he couldn’t believe what he was looking at. Then he went back to staring at me.
“Okay, stop making me feel like an idiot!” I scowled at him. “I get it; you’re not in love with me. But yeesh! How was I supposed to know that?”
He laughed, surprised at my response. “I don’t know! Common sense?”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. “You’re risking everything to keep me safe, Jude. And you did tell Piper that you loved someone that you couldn’t be with. I just put the pieces together. It’s not like I jumped to these huge, outrageous conclusions.”
His laughter subsided into a smug grin. “I’m risking everything for you because you’re the solution, not because I am super ready to give up my life for all these unrequited feelings.”
I huffed out an impatient sound. He made me sound like some high-tech weapon he’d put stock into and not a living, breathing person, risking my life for his and every other life form in this galaxy.
He read my frustration and in a quiet, tender voice, admitted, “Seven.”
I spun back around. “What?”
“The girl I’m in love with… the one that belongs to someone else… The one I can never have… it’s Seven.”
“But she’s completely bat shit!” I slapped my hands over my mouth and let him see the apology in my eyes.
A flash of pain crossed his face and he looked down at his boots. “She wasn’t always like this. She… she saved me once upon a time. She stood up to Aliah when I was the child they were going to sacrifice. She befriended me when I had no one else. Seven and I go back a long way.” He shrugged a careless shoulder as if his feelings for her didn’t run as deep as I could see they did.
“You really love her?”
“Something like that,” he grunted.
“She’s gone, Jude,” I whispered with as much compassion as I was capable of. If I hadn’t believed it before last night, her appearance and behavior would have proven those words to me.
“She’s a little lost.” His jaw ticked. “She not gone.” I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off by pushing himself into standing and switching back to business mode. “Anyway, I heard about last night.”
It was my turn to look away and brood.
“You should have killed him,” Jude lectured.
I refused to meet his eyes. “Probably.”
“I understand why you didn’t.” His tone was pacifying, but I could tell that was all that it was. He didn’t understand. Even though he had feelings for someone that belonged in a straightjacket and a padded room, he didn’t understand why I hadn’t ended Seth and moved on with my life.
I shrugged. “I’ll get another chance if I need it.”
“You sure about that?”
I finally returned Jude’s searching gaze and did my best to level him with my fierceness. “Despite what happened last night, I will do what I have to in order to save this planet. Never doubt me on that.”
Even though I doubted. I doubted very much what I would do if it meant I had to kill Seth.
He seemed to take me at my word. “Alright,” he consented. “Good.”
“And Ari is dead now. My parents left to return the children this morning.”
“Good,” he repeated. “I’m assuming they’ll explain the situation to the Council.”
“That one of their own was stealing and killing children to con the Council. I’m sure it will go over really well.”
Jude snorted. “I’m sure it will. I’ll send word to the Brotherhood. They’ll get in touch with a messenger from the Highest Realm to back up their testimony.”
“Good,” I echoed Jude’s earlier sentiment. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about my parents getting sent to Realm prison because they were suspected of killing a Council member. “And with Ari gone?”
“He wasn’t the last of them,” Jude replied sadly. “He was merely a piece of the Rebellion. They might be set back but they are far from dismantled.”
“Aliah didn’t seem too upset.”
“And he wouldn’t be. The Rebellion threatens his own organization. Sure, they could ultimately join forces and defeat the Realms, but Aliah also has job security to concern himself with. The Fallen are basest in every area. Greed and the pursuit of power being top on their lists of personality traits.”
“What are the chances we can just let them fight it out between each other?”
I said, “Aliah isn’t thrilled with the prospect of his job being given to someone else. Lucifer will be more than happy to unite the Fallen. He doesn’t care who his general is as long as the Realms are destroyed. The two factions can bicker for now, but ultimately they will join forces and destroy us all.”
“God, you’re such a harbinger of doom.”
His lips twitched while he pulled another cigarette from the pack in his pocket. “You going to be alright?”
He didn’t look at me while he asked the question and that, for some strange reason, made it seem much more sincere. I felt emotion coat my throat but I cleared it away and answered as carefree as I could. “I’m fine. Just another day at the office.”
“He’s not going to stop until you’re dead.” His eyes finally flicked up to meet mine and I instantly hated the truth that reflected in them.
So I put just as much belief into my next words. “And I’m not going to stop until he has his soul back. I’m not afraid, Jude. I won’t let Aliah have him.”
Jude nodded, accepting my answer. He pushed away from the wall and moved by me. His cigarette still hung from his mouth but there weren’t any teachers around by this point to catch him. The bell rang minutes ago. I was way late for Homeroom, but I didn’t even bother to feel guilty. My commitment to school had stopped being a priority long before the year started.
“Jupiter was missing in action last night,” I called after him.
He didn’t bother to turn around and acknowledge my question.
“So were you!”
I watched his shoulders rise and then fall with a huff of impatience. “Your point?”
“Just wondering what you two are up to that’s so top secret. More than one of us could have died last night. We could have used you both.”
He finally spun around to walk backwards. He was halfway down the hall by now and none of his words could be considered quiet or secretive.
“You’re not going to get my help, Starling. Not now,
not ever. We both have roles to play. You’re the superhero, I’m the super villain. Don’t start thinking you can count on me. You can’t.”
Last time he pissed me off this much, I stabbed him in the leg. I really wanted to do that again. Right now. My fingers itched for the short switchblade I kept in the cargo pocket of my khaki skirt.
“Seth will kill you if you touch his sister.”
His eyebrows lifted. “What do you think Aliah will do to me? I’m smart, Starling. A lot smarter than you.”
I made a psht sound and rolled my eyes. I followed after him and we slunk into homeroom just as the bell rang. Oops. At least we didn’t get yelled at.
We walked right back out of the classroom and Jude disappeared into the crowd. His head bobbed over all the other kids and I could see the telltale cloud of smoke around his head. It was really hard for me to believe that kid was my ally.
Or was he? Like he said, I couldn’t count on him. He loved a girl he would never touch. The job came first for him.
It should come first for me too.
But it didn’t.
Piper wrapped an arm around my waist and lay her head on my shoulder. “You okay?”
“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly.
“Is it Jude?” She lifted her head and met my wide, glossy eyes.
I felt like crying for some reason I couldn’t explain. Or maybe there were too many reasons to pick just one. Either way I pushed the tears down and cleared the lump in my throat. “No.”
“He didn’t try to peer pressure you into smoking did he? Push drugs on you? Make out with you?” She whispered that last part extra-dramatically.
I laughed, feeling lighter already. “He’s not in love with me, Pi.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
“Disappointing,” she tsked. “I had hoped he would make your love life a little less depressing.”
“I wouldn’t count on that happening any time soon. Besides, his love life might be even worse off than mine.”
“Is that even possible?”
I thought about Seven and the way she looked last night. Her honey brown eyes were lost, barely involved with the reality that tumbled around her.