“Agreed,” she sighed.
Lincoln and Tristan walked into the booth next. Tristan had left me alone here an hour ago, claiming Lincoln needed help with his truck. But as they walked into the airy kiosk, carrying paper plates, plastic forks, a gallon of melting ice cream and a twelve pack of ice cold Coke, I realized he had been sent on errands by my scheming best friend.
“What is this?” I laughed at the boys as they looked for a place to set everything down. Rigley trailed in behind them with Bree at his side.
“A birthday party, duh,” Piper snarked. “You won’t let us throw you a real one, so you forced us to improvise.”
I grinned at them. “Thanks, guys.”
Irrational tears pricked at the back of my eyes but I forced them back. Piper had wanted to do a huge party at Lincoln’s house tonight in honor of seventeen, but I told her I didn’t plan on celebrating anything for another year. She didn’t understand what that meant but she was a good enough friend to know that I was serious.
I had never made a huge deal out of my birthdays anyway. I was kind of the anti-birthday downer. Before Seth showed up, my birthdays felt like this countdown clock to a future I wasn’t ready for. Now they felt like a ticking time bomb as I waited for eighteen and open season on my life and the final verdict on Seth’s soul. Seventeen wasn’t something to celebrate; it was just a holding stage before my life fell even more apart.
Rigley, who had been put in charge of the lighter, lit the candles and the three boys started singing “Happy Birthday” in the worst three-part harmony I had ever heard. Rigley took the soprano part, Tristan butchered the melody and Lincoln surprised me with a super deep bass line that did not add anything pleasant to their rendition.
By the end of it I was laughing so hard my side hurt. Their choreographed dance moves only added to the performance.
Piper had doubled over and grabbed my shoulder. “I had no idea they were going to do that,” she laughed.
“Because you would have tried to talk us out of it,” Rigley smirked smugly at us. To me he said, “You’re welcome, Stella. Don’t bother getting excited for any other presents. Nothing will be able to top that.”
Even Bree wiped tears from her eyes. “The sad thing is, I think he’s right.”
“Me, too.” I walked over to Tristan and threw my arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me close to him. Holding on to Tristan felt so natural and uncomplicated I pressed myself closer. He buried his head in my wind-whipped hair and inhaled. I was sure I smelled like sun and ripe fruit, since I’d been slaving away in the early-August heat for the last four hours. But he took a deep breath of me and pressed his lips against my salty skin in a quick kiss.
“Happy birthday, Stella,” he whispered against my neck. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me too,” I agreed. My heart ached against him.
“Well, isn’t this cozy?”
I jumped away from Tristan at Jude’s cocky tone. Who invited him?
“What’s up, Man?” Tristan did one of those guy greetings with the hands and the I’m-too-cool-for-school attitude and when I turned around Jude was grinning at us familiarly.
Not just me in his usual, conceited way, but both of us. As if he were part of our circle and considered a friend.
“Jude, you made it!” Piper squealed from the counter where the cake was spread out. “Have a piece.”
And then she gave him the first piece of cake. I wasn’t a naturally jealous person and like I said before, birthdays were not a big deal to me. But Piper gave Jude the first piece. Jude!
Wasn’t it supposed to go to me?
“So the party was a success?” I asked him in a defeated mumble.
His stupid, idiot smile stretched across his face before he shoveled a huge bite of cake into it in order to downplay his emotions.
“Big success,” Jude grinned again with raised eyebrows. “I have so many new friends now.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back to my friends, my friends that weren’t his friends. He was obviously up to something, I just didn’t understand what.
“Where have you been, Stella?” Rigley asked around huge bites of vanilla ice cream straight from the carton. We all stared at him a beat but he shrugged it off, gesturing to the dripping cardboard of ice cream. “What? It’s melting anyway.”
“You’re going to need insulin shots if you eat all that,” Bree exclaimed.
“I’ll be fine,” Rigley grumbled. “You just worry about your own calories and if that cake is going to land in your thighs or your ass.”
Bree paled and set her small paper plate of cake on the table while Piper and I threw our napkins at Rigley. The boys threw their heads back and laughed.
Jude wrapped his arm around Bree’s shoulders and yanked her into him. “Personally, I think your ass would look great with a few more bites of cake.” Then he reached down and smacked it.
She giggled and swatted his chest and the happy mood was restored to the group, thanks to Jude.
What the hell?
“Seriously, Day, where have you been? It’s not like you to leave this town. Ever.” Rigley kept shoveling ice cream into his mouth but he really wasn’t going to let this one drop.
“Not true,” Jude chuckled. “Stella leaves Mead all the time. It seems like she’s always flying off on some new adventure.”
My bottom lip dropped open and I scrambled to make something out of that. Apparently Jude wanted me to kill him today. “He means for games,” I explained lamely. “We always leave town for games.” And that was true. There was only one high school in Mead, Nebraska so no matter what sport I happened to be involved in, away-games were always scheduled out of town.
“Duh,” Rigley groaned.
Piper gave me a pinched-eyebrow look that I pretended not to see. “Uh, my parents and I went on vacation.” If I was honest, I was a horrible liar and that came out really awkward, so I improvised with something a little more truthful. “Actually, it wasn’t really a vacation. More like my parents had to leave for work and they took me with them. It wasn’t all that fun.” Now that would be more believable. My parents used to always leave Mead for “work.” And often times their trips would get extended. The town was well aware of that side of our lives and it would make sense for that to have happened. I originally thought we were only going to be gone for the weekend. Apparently, I had misjudged time and space travel.
My explanation got groans of empathy and we moved on to talking about the remaining week of the summer. Two-a-days started next week for most of us. Football started first and volleyball started a day later. Usually, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I loved competitive sports and going back to school was really exciting for me.
Obviously, I didn’t have that same enthusiasm anymore. There were too many other things going on, and honestly, I couldn’t imagine balancing school and volleyball this year along with everything else.
“You okay?” Piper asked in a discreet voice. “You seem a little down?”
I met her dark brown eyes and tried to smile. “I just can’t believe we start practice in a week. This summer flew by.”
“Crazy, right? And we’re going to be seniors. Just one more year until ultimate freedom!” Her face lit up with excitement and her eyebrows raised expectantly waiting for me to share in her anticipation.
“That is crazy! It’s so crazy, I literally can’t even imagine it,” I told her without flinching. Because it was true. I would never have Piper’s happy future; I would never have college or freedom. Depending on Seth, I might not even have something to look forward to.
And that was when I started to freak out a little bit.
“Are you sure you’re alright, Stel? You seem upset. Are you mad about the cake? I know you didn’t want to do a party, but I thought this would be okay.”
I threw my arms around her and pulled her close. Suddenly, I realized that the moment I got Se
th back, I would lose Piper to college and a normal human life. The same would be true for Tristan. I forced myself to suck in my tears and keep from sobbing all over my dearest friend. “I love the cake,” I sniffled. “And I love you. Thank you so much for doing this.”
I really didn’t manage to keep in all those tears.
“You’re welcome,” Piper answered awkwardly. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it,” I cried.
“Gosh, Stella, I think you might be sick. You’re burning up.”
I pulled back immediately and cooled the glow. Shoot. Note to self, do not get irrationally emotional all over your human best friend, whom you are keeping ginormous secrets from.
“You know what? Maybe that’s it. I’m not feeling right.”
“Go home,” she dismissed me. “I’m here. Tristan’s here. It’s your birthday. Go home and rest and call me later if you feel better. We’ll have a movie night or something.”
“Are you sure?” I asked because I felt like I needed to, not because I wanted to. Actually, the last thing I wanted to do was go home and wallow in my self-pity; but I felt like I had to now that she thought I had a hundred-and-bazillion degree fever.
“Yes! Go! Rest a little. Don’t get sick on your birthday and puke everywhere. That should only happen because we threw an epic party, not because you have the flu.” She pulled back and gave me a worried expression. “Take some Tylenol. You’ll feel better.”
“Okay,” I gave in. I turned around to collect my water bottle and the book that had been keeping me company all morning. My purse and keys were in my car already because… well because that was habit and I hadn’t thought to take them out even though I was in Omaha.
“Stella, are you leaving?” Rigley called out over my laughing friends. A few customers shopped for fresh produce, but they didn’t seem to mind that a bunch of rowdy high school kids had taken over the farm stand.
“Yeah, I’m not feeling well,” I told him.
Jude shook his head at me and frowned. He knew something was up but at least he wasn’t going to call me out on it in front of everybody.
At least not right this second. Knowing how devious he could be, he’d probably save this one up for when it would really cause problems.
Tristan caught me at the counter and gave me a bemused look. “You’re not feeling well?”
“I gave Piper a hug and she thinks I have a fever now.”
He barked out a laugh and grinned at me. “Oh to be you for a day.”
“Shut up,” I grumbled. Okay, he was kind of funny.
“So no party tonight, but can I come over? We can celebrate our style?”
I blew out a huge sigh of relief. “I would love that,” I told him. Things had been so awkward between us lately that I hadn’t even enjoyed being around him. But this was what I needed. He was still my best friend, even if our future together had been cut short.
“K, good. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”
I reached out and hugged him again. He wasn’t going to be concerned about my exaggerated body temperature. “I can’t wait.”
By the time we let go and I was in my car driving back to Mead, I actually appreciated Piper sending me home. I had been so mopey lately that I’d forgotten that there were definitely things to celebrate today. Like turning seventeen. And being that much closer to freeing Seth.
Only one year to go. And thanks to Piper and Tristan, maybe I wasn’t so alone after all.
****
“So, do you think you can be done being awkward around me now?” Tristan asked with the most serious tone I’d ever heard him use.
I gaped at him. “Wait, what?”
“Ever since we had the… talk, you’re obnoxiously awkward. You act like you’re terrified I’m going to start humping you every time I see you.” Tristan stretched his feet out in front of him and pushed the heels of his old running shoes into the rough roof tiles we were perched on. We were just outside my bedroom window. I had begged off tonight with Piper, telling her that I was sicker than I thought. I loved her, but I needed time alone with Tristan. And I was really glad that he came over. After we’d watched a movie and laughed through the majority of it and each other’s dumb jokes, we’d grabbed some blankets and crawled out here.
I had thought the night was going really well. We seemed to have found our old groove… the one we had before Seth showed up and forced us to face our deeply buried feelings for each other.
Apparently, I was wrong.
“Are you being serious?” I glared at him. He couldn’t be serious. I wasn’t the awkward one. He was the awkward one!
He cut a sideways glance my way and I knew he was joking. I shoved his bicep- that was my mature response. “You’re such a brat,” I snickered. “It’s not me. It’s you that’s awkward!”
“You might be right,” he sighed. He sounded almost sorry in his admission so this time I just nudged his shoulder with mine to let him know he was forgiven. “I just… I loved you for so long, you know?” His question hung there, between us… over us, inside of us for long enough that it settled to the innermost parts of my bones and the secret places of my heart. I loved Tristan. But not like that, not enough to give up my future. And definitely not enough to turn my back on Seth.
Not even when he wanted to kill me.
Tristan and everything I felt for him reminded me of my life before I’d been handed Earth and told to cowboy-up and get with it. My feelings for him were my immature manifestations of fear and anxiety for the Protectorship. I did love Tristan, but not in the way that would make me walk away from my destiny or the boy I was destined to be with.
But I knew exactly what Tristan meant. “I get it,” I said. “When you love something… someone for so long, it’s hard to know anything but that.”
He chuckled. “You seemed to have moved on just fine.”
I whipped my head around to face him. “Tristan, this hasn’t been easy for me. I promise you. I’ve had Seth for an incentive and I’ve been busy dealing with him and everything else… but believe me when I say, leaving you has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Whatever you felt for me, I felt for you, too.”
His smile was soft and adoring. “I still love you. You should know that. Not like… not like before. But I think I always will love you. I think there will always be something unbreakable between us.”
I paused a minute, so that he would know that when I replied I was as serious as I could be. “You should know I will always love you, too.” I winked at him. “As long as you stop making everything weird between us. Because I can’t love weird. I don’t even want to love weird. I’m so over weird.”
His laugh was loud enough to echo into the night. “Yeesh,” he groaned. “Picky.”
“Only about love.”
“As you should be.”
We sat there in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence until finally he nodded his head toward one of my dad’s distanced barns and said, “I think that one’s for you.”
I followed his gaze and watched a hazy sort of light sky rocket to the barn.
Seth.
“I think you’re right.” But I didn’t get up to move. I didn’t really want to deal with Seth right now. That probably sounded bad, but the boy pulled every single emotion I had and shuffled them all to the top and slowly eviscerated each one until all I could feel was pain and longing.
And for some reason, I just couldn’t feel motivated to feel that way on my birthday.
“I don’t want things to be weird between us anymore, Stel,” Tristan said quietly, bringing my mind back to this moment with him.
“I’m glad,” I smiled. “Because that was horrible.”
He laughed again but grew instantly serious. “So you should go to him, then.” I looked over at him and found him watching the barn that Seth had disappeared into. “You should go to him before he finds us together and castrates me. That w
ould be the ultimate awkward between us.”
I burst into laughter. “Come on, you could take him.”
He stood up on the roof and looked at the window to my room. This was our place, a place we’d been spending nights for ten years at least. This was our private world where Tristan would stare at the Stars with me or assure me I could handle my future. We would hold hands or just talk, sometimes we would laugh until we cried or just lay next to each other and be silent. This place owned whatever was left of Tristan and my relationship. I didn’t want to bring Seth to this place.
Especially since he kept trying to kill me.
“I have no doubt I could hold my own against Seth, Stella.” His voice had dropped to that lower octave that boys could pull off and so I knew he was serious. “Except in one, very specific scenario.”
“And what scenario is that?” I asked while assuming he would say something like the sky or space or something.
“Except when you’re involved,” he finished instead. “Seth is going to murder whatever stands between him and you.”
I sucked in a breath and stared at him. “How do you know that?” He hadn’t been around Seth since he sold his soul. I didn’t think it was possible for Tristan to realize the kind of evil Seth had become. I didn’t even fully understand it and I had seen it up close and personal more times than I was comfortable with.
Tristan made a move for my window and said, “Because he was like that before he lost his soul. I can hardly imagine how dangerously possessive he’s become of you since then.”
“He wants to kill me, Tristan. He hates me.”
Tristan shook his head. “He loves you, Stella. He crossed your property line. He’s fighting this. And I can’t blame him. If you loved me the way that you love him, I would do anything to keep you. I would fight the Darkness, and all the evil in the entire universe just to keep you and call you mine.”
Tears misted in my eyes and I felt that anxiety return. For a few seconds, I couldn’t believe I’d given Tristan up. I felt foolish and stupid for letting such an amazing man walk away from me.