Chapter Twenty-Six
Chase
I’d been put in a lot of awkward situations in my life.
Hell, I’d had to put up with excruciatingly awkward lunches every Sunday with my parents and try to make small talk with them.
And, you know, I’d just found out that my girlfriend of three years had been cheating on me with a guy from my own band. That was pretty awkward. Okay, that was beyond awkward.
Yet, despite all those awkward situations I’d faced, working with Hailey on our assignment kind of took the prize for the most awkward situation I’d ever been in.
First of all, we were barely acknowledging each other or making eye contact. What little we did say mostly consisted of a ‘yes’, ‘no’, or some murmurs and grunts. I’d throw in a slight head nod from time to time, but beyond that there wasn’t a whole lot of communication going on. I didn’t believe it was from a lack of things to say—I think we really just had too much to say to each other.
Secondly, that ring on her finger was like a huge slap in the face, followed by a kick to the balls. There was barely any time for me to recover. I mean, did she really have to rub it in my face?
On top of that, I kind of felt like a complete moron for telling her that I loved her. Yeah, I could use the alcohol as an excuse and lie to her—she wouldn’t know any better—but I’d still know the truth. I’d still know that I was crazy about her and that I really did love her, so, really, what was the point in lying to myself?
Thankfully, this was the last time we’d have to work on our assignment together. We were just adding the final touches before we had to perform it in class one last time, and then I could stay as far away from Hailey Peters as I wanted.
I’d never have to talk to her again or worry about what I was going to do next to piss her off. I could just go on with my miserable existence and chalk it up to the girl who got away.
Because that’s who she’d always be to me--the girl I wanted but could never have. I’d always wonder what it was like to have a life with her. It didn’t matter who I ended up with—I’d always want to be with Hailey.
With that thought, something shot through me, like a charged current. Screw that. I
wasn’t the guy who sat around and wondered some bullshit for the rest of his life—I was the guy who took what he wanted because life was too short to wonder.
I wasn’t going to look back on this moment five years from now and regret not doing everything I could to be with Hailey.
“Why are we acting like strangers?”
Hailey flinched, and I noticed she took a deep breath before looking up at me. Her eyes were troubled, framed with creases; I didn’t like seeing her like this. I had never wanted to hurt her. “I-I just don’t know what to say right now, Chase.”
The way she said my name broke my heart. I wanted to hear her say my name for the rest of our lives. This couldn’t be the last time.
I blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m apologizing again because I know I screwed up. I shouldn’t have kept the truth from you, but I was so worried, Hailey.”
“Worried? Why?” She seemed confused, and I saw some of the anxiety disappear from her face. “You knew I loved William C. Lancaster.” A layer of blush flush appeared on her face. “Um, you knew I was a fan, so why would you be worried?”
Even though it was kind of embarrassing talking about this, I had to get it off my chest.
Especially if I wanted to make a difference in the way that Hailey saw me. I didn’t want her to think of me as a lying jerk forever.
“Well, uh, I already knew you didn’t think a whole lot of me. I wasn’t your favorite person and I guess I liked the fact that you really did like something about me, even if you had no clue.”
Hailey pressed her lips together. “You really hurt me, Chase.”
Her words made me feel like a shitty person. “I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just, at first I didn’t really care. You weren’t my favorite person and I wasn’t yours, but something changed. I know you felt it the same time as I did. Something changed between us and then it became harder to tell you. I didn’t want to ruin that for you. Your face would light up when you talked about William C. Lancaster. I couldn’t take that away from you. Stupid reason, huh?”
Hailey’s expression softened. “I’ve come to expect nothing less from you.” A smile peeked at the edge of her lips, and it was like the sun rising after a long period of darkness. That smile had a way of affecting me like nothing I’d ever felt before.
“I screwed up and I know that, but people screw up, Hailey.”
“I know that, but sometimes it’s hard to let for me to let go of things.”
I could see where she was coming from. It probably wasn’t easy having a mother who’d abandoned her and a father who’d been emotionally absent pretty much her entire life. I now saw
Hailey’s need to make plans and hold onto the things that were familiar to her, like her boyfriend/fiancé, for what it really was—it was her way of asserting control over her own life, the only way she knew how and that was completely understandable. But that wasn’t the way she should be living her life.
“Hailey, I know what it’s like to be screwed over by someone.” I took her hands in mine.
A look of surprise shot across her face, but thankfully she didn’t pull away. “My ex, Heather, was cheating on me with our guitarist, Deuce. I found them together that night I drunk dialed you.”
“What? I’m so sorry! I didn’t know!” Hailey squeezed my hands, and then a look of disgust appeared on her face. “That’s an awful thing to do! Why would she do something like that to you?”
I shrugged. “If I spend my entire life wondering why then how am I ever going to move onto something better?” I gave her a meaningful look and she turned a shade of dark pink and tried to pull her hands away from me.
“No, stop.” I held onto her. “Stop and just listen to me. Everything I said to you that night was the truth. Yeah, I was drunk, but I meant it all. I am in love with you, Hailey. I don’t know how or why or when, but it’s real. I can feel it, just out of reach, tucked away in some part of me, but I know it’s there. And I know you feel the same way.
She began shaking her head, tears brimming in her eyes as she stood up. “I can’t talk to you like this, Chase. Braxton proposed and he just lost his mother.” Her voice wavered, and I rose to my feet so I could hold onto her. I didn’t want her to run away from me just yet. “I just lost a mother. I can’t-I don’t know what to do.”
I ran my hand through her hair and pulled her into me. “You don’t need to marry him.
You don’t need to commit to him if it doesn’t feel right.” I lowered my face to hers as my hands glided over the sides of her sweater dress, finally resting on her hips. “Everything about this feels right. I want you to be mine. I want to love you like he never has. He’s never given you a chance to grow or to live your life. You need to get busy living your life and making your own choices.”
Hailey’s eyes fell on my lips, and I didn’t hesitate. I pulled her in for the kiss that had my insides aching with anticipation. The kiss was gentle at first but it quickly filled with urgency, like we were the last two people left on the earth. I darted my tongue through her parted lips as my mouth crushed hers, and when Hailey let out a moan, I pushed her against the table so hard that it scraped against the floor.
“Tell me you want me,” I said in a low voice as I trailed kisses down the soft skin of her neck. “Tell me that you choose me.”
“Chase,” was all she could manage as she ran a hand through my hair. Her other hand found its way underneath my shirt and pressed firmly on my tensed stomach muscles.
“Hailey!”
Hailey pushed me away so hard that I actually stumbled a few steps back. I hadn’t expected such a show of strength from someone like her. When I turned around, I found her b
oyfriend/fiancé standing behind us. I had no idea how he’d known to find Hailey in the library, but here he was. Fuck.
“Hailey, what the hell are you doing with him?” He said that last bit like I was an amoeba. I didn’t like the way he spoke to her and I refused to let it happen again as long as I was around.
“Back the hell off,” I said, taking a protective stance in front of Hailey.
He seemed surprised at first, but then he just looked angry. “Hailey! What the hell?”
I felt Hailey’s hand on my shoulder, so I turned around to meet her. I’d never seen her so upset before, even that night she’d had an emotional breakdown. She was a lot calmer, but for some reason I knew it was worse than the other night.
“Chase, you need to leave.” Her voice was surprisingly steady as she spoke. “What?”
Her rejection slammed me hard in the chest. I’d just poured my heart out to her and felt like I’d finally gotten through to her, that we’d connected, and now she was telling me to leave?
“Please, just go. I need to talk to Braxton alone.”
I hated that she’d said his name. I hated that so much. I guess she’d made her choice.
“Fine, whatever.”
I didn’t bother to look at her. There was no reason to. I just walked away, knowing it was the last time I ever wanted to see her.