After the helicopter tour they spent a few hours hiking the trails that took them directly into volcanic craters, scalded deserts and rainforest, and a petroglyph. She read about them but to be in a volcanic tube exhilarated her. Another Big Island activity Tony insisted they complete was to walk on the Black Sand Beach. Claire didn’t think she would like black sand, sand, after all, is supposed to be white, but it was unusual and magnificent. Removing their shoes, Claire felt the warmth of the black sand under her feet. She’d expected it to be hot. Actually, she’d experienced hotter white sand in Florida, another unpredictable conclusion.
Christmas day they spent on Lanai in their suite. Claire was prepared for the holiday this year. She had a gift for Tony, an exquisite d. Freemont Swiss watch which she’d purchased on Rodeo Drive in October. If he had seen the bill he hadn’t said a thing. On Christmas morning he acted surprised and delighted. Claire knew how he appreciated punctuality.
Also planning ahead, Tony had a gift for Claire. However, his gift wasn’t as extravagant. Actually, it was very basic and left her speechless. He placed it in a slightly larger black velvet box, the kind that might contain a necklace. At first, she thought he forgot, but his grin indicated a scheme. “It isn’t jewelry, so I thought I could use a black box, but if you don’t want it . . .” He started to take the box back.
Smiling, she said, “No, I want it.” She pulled the box toward her, her curiosity getting the better of her. She lifted the lid to reveal a basic calling and texting only cellular telephone. Previously, she opened velvet boxes to lavish diamonds and gold that didn’t move her like this inexpensive cellular phone.
Watching her emerald eyes glisten Tony decided the accompanying lecture could wait. Claire felt like she received the milestone of liberties. It was a wonderful Christmas. That night, lying on the daybed under the stars, they listened to the sound of waves in the distance. Completely relaxed, spooning against her husband, Claire’s mind went back to a snowy afternoon in Tony’s suite. That afternoon she made requests. She also made a request as they lay upon a rug in Lake Tahoe. Tonight, she realized, they’d all been granted. As her mind started to slip into sleep, she heard Tony say, “Merry Christmas, my love.” She hugged his strong arms. “What are you thinking?”
Claire turned her face toward his. “I was thinking that I have everything, everything I asked for. Thank you.” She kissed his lips. “I love you.” And drifted off to sleep.
They arrived back at Iowa on December 28. Snow blanketed the estate and the decorations glistened. Tony had a meeting in Chicago on the twenty-ninth. Worn-out from their trip, Claire decided to stay home. She told Tony she would try to appreciate the Midwest winter until he returned.
Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change
your life forever.
—Keri Russell
Chapter 46
Tony’s lecture regarding his gift came on the plane ride home. It started as operational instructions. Claire considered this futile. She received her first cell phone in middle school and knew how to dial a number, answer a call, send a text message and receive one. However, his lesson did contain useful information. Her telephone linked to his computer and iPhone. If she received a call or text, he received a notification. If she sent a text or made a call, he received a notification. He even had an application that allowed him to access telephone numbers and the entire content of text messages. Claire told herself to compartmentalize. She now had a cell phone.
He instructed her to only answer calls from numbers programmed into her phone with an asterisk. Examples: *Tony Cellular, *Home Private, *Eric. There were other numbers programmed into her phone: Emily cell, John V. Cell, Vandersol home, Courtney S., MaryAnn F., etc. They could leave voice mails or texts. Together they would listen or read and decide responses. Claire obediently listened and sighed, thinking, This is ridiculous!
“You asked for me to be able to contact you directly. This will accomplish what you asked.”
She pressed her lips together and thought, He is right. I did and it will. I want more! Deciding to capitalize on the Christmas spirit, she pushed, “Maybe I could at least text Courtney and Sue back immediately. I mean, after all, didn’t you say you can read the texts in real time from your iPhone?” Her husband made a fortune with the Internet, he had technology that would allow him to watch, listen, and monitor her every move. She knew that.
He contemplated his answer. “We will start with my rules. After a time, we can revisit them.” She submitted. He hadn’t closed the subject. It was a minor victory or a minor defeat. Either way, it wasn’t the end of the war.
They celebrated New Year’s Eve at their home with friends: the Simmonses, their son Caleb and his fiancée Julia, Tim and a six-month pregnant Sue, and Tom and Beverly. They all had a wonderful time. They spent most of the evening in the lower level, playing cards and pool, drinking champagne, talking, and laughing.
Courtney couldn’t contain her enthusiasm regarding their son’s engagement. Julia appeared overwhelmed by her overly zealous future mother-in-law. Claire couldn’t help herself. She offered Julia some advice, “Smile and give in. It makes life a lot easier.” They hadn’t set a date yet. Courtney told Claire she may have more charitable responsibilities this year. She planned on helping Julia as much as possible with the wedding. Claire read Julia’s expression and whispered in her ear, “I promise to talk to her later.”
Julia smiled. “Thank you.”
Tim and Sue’s baby was due March 20. All the women “oowwd” and “ahhhed” at her growing midsection. It made Claire think, they’d never discussed children. About six months before she met Tony, she had the birth control insert implanted. In hindsight, that’d been fortuitous. However, considering Tony’s age, maybe this was a subject they should discuss.
Together they all welcomed the New Year with enthusiasm. “To another great year for everyone and for Rawlings Industries.” Everyone tapped glasses.
Claire and Tony both told the Simmonses how fantastic Fiji will be. Claire added, “We can’t wait to hear all about it.” Then she smiled. “Well, not all.”
Courtney blushed. Tony embraced Claire, she had filled him in on her packing advice, and they kissed. Feeling left out, Brent looked at Courtney questionably. She grinned, “I will explain later.” That made them giggle some more. The year began with a bang.
Although Tony contacted Claire directly each evening, she didn’t feel like she’d gained any liberties regarding communication. Emily had her number and would leave text messages and voice mails. Claire could read them or listen to them, but she couldn’t respond until Tony’s input was added. She learned that deleting texts or voice mails was strictly forbidden, it implied hiding. She didn’t ask, but wondered why. If Tony had access to every text why did he need to see it on her phone before she deleted it?
The Simmonses left for Fiji, and Tony missed Brent. Claire found it amusing. He would never admit Brent’s full worth, yet his absence left Tony lacking. She planned to share this secret knowledge upon their return.
Courtney asked Claire to fill in with her multiple charities during her absence. Being January, the heart of her winter blues, Claire happily agreed to the additional tasks. Unfortunately, Claire agreed to help Courtney without first conferring with Tony. “I agree they are admirable charities. I don’t think you need to be gone that much.”
“It is only for two weeks, and I already said I would help.”
“You agreed without discussing it. Did you forget about your responsibilities here? I certainly hope you are not having memory problems again.”
“I didn’t forget and I am sorry. I just wanted to help a friend. I promise nothing will go undone here.”
“You are right, because you won’t be going. Or do you not feel that taking care of your husband is important?”
Claire knew her pleas were useless. “Tony, I am sorry.”
She called each organization. “I am truly sorry I won’t be abl
e to attend your meeting. It seems that I have double booked my calendar. If you could e-mail the information, I will forward it to Mrs. Simmons.” Those calls were made on the speaker feature of her new phone with her husband present. Suddenly, her calendar was open to Tony’s whims.
Claire believed these consequences resulted more from Brent’s absence than from her insubordination. Tony would never admit that. Her attraction toward her husband was waning. Experience taught her that it was a cyclical process. It would wane, then it would wax. She encouraged herself to be patient for the wax.
This January was less snowy than the last, which helped Claire’s disposition. Less snow meant fewer clouds, more sunshine. The Iowa air still registered below freezing but the view from her suite wasn’t that of frozen white tundra. The winter, combined with the feeling that unpredictability was predictably returning, gave her the teetering on the fence sensation from before. Continuing her personal self-therapy, she reminded herself that Courtney would be back in another week and spring was only three months away.
Admittedly more of an attempt to pacify than an act of devotion, she tried desperately to alleviate Tony’s concerns. She obediently waited for him each evening, dressed appropriately for his arrival, attentively listened to his day and concerns, discussed her e-mails, texts, voice mails, and expressed her undying affection. She even chose to not pursue the e-mails and text messages from Emily. That is, until she heard a recent voice mail. The distress in her sister’s voice was unnerving. She respectfully asked Tony if they could call her.
They did from Claire’s telephone. Having her cell phone saved the long walk to his office. They tried three times and didn’t receive an answer. Tony willingly agreed to try again later. They finally reached Emily and the information from the call was difficult for Claire to fathom. John had been accused of fraudulent billing. The Vandersols were devastated.
The morning after the call, Claire opened her eyes, realizing that she was waking in Tony’s bed. The feeling of disorientation came more from her concern over her family than from the dark surroundings. She rolled toward him, but he was gone. The clock read 7:03 a.m. If she hurried to the dining room she may catch him before he left for work. She wanted to thank him again for the ability to talk to her sister during this difficult time. Truth be known, she hoped her gratitude would facilitate her opportunity to support Emily in the future. She put on slippers and her cashmere robe and walked to the dining room. The rich aroma of coffee met her halfway down the corridor. Tony was at the head of the table drinking coffee, his plate empty and his laptop open. When Claire entered the room he looked up. “Good morning, dear. You look beautiful this morning.”
She made a face, “I think you need an eye exam,” and gave him a kiss. “I just wanted to catch you before you left.” Claire sat down at the table and Catherine poured her coffee. “I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate talking to Emily. This is a really difficult time for them.” She added some cream, watching the ivory liquid swirl into the black abyss. Then she looked up into his eyes, wondering if they were the color of the coffee with or without the cream, and added, “And I wanted to let you know I will miss you.” She smiled at the cream filled eyes as she spoke.
“Good news, I am working from home today.” Claire’s heart sank, she really wanted alone time to contemplate the John thing. However, her smile never faltered. “So you will not need to miss me.”
“That’s great! Do you have a lot of work?”
“A few web conferences and phone calls, but don’t worry, I know your schedule is free. I have some ideas for us too.” That smile and the way his eyes shone made Claire question his ideas. She would be glad when Brent returned. This Tony made her uneasy, detesting the dual personalities.
Sipping her coffee, “All right, I need to work out and clean up. I came down here in a hurry to see you.”
“When you’re dressed come to my office,” he said as he stood to leave. He paused to touch her shoulder.
Obediently she replied, “I will be there as soon as I can.”
He kissed her cheek. “Or you could visit before you dress?” His tone suddenly playful.
She touched his hand. “If I do that, you may not get your work done.” He reluctantly agreed and went to his office. She smiled at his attire: shirt, tie, NYU sweatpants, socks, and slippers. That comment to Vanity Fair had been truthful.
Claire’s thoughts wandered as she sipped her coffee, ate her breakfast, and looked out the tall windows. For January the sky was an amazingly clear sapphire blue. Suddenly, she longed to be outside and in the sunshine. The John situation had her heartsick. Maybe some fresh air would give her a new perspective and some ideas to help her family. The beautiful scene outside the window beckoned her to walk, roam, get away, if only for a few hours. The snow of the last few weeks was melted, yet today it was cold enough to keep the ground solid. Perhaps she would have time for a hike before Tony’s ideas. Maybe she could entice him to walk too. He might have some ideas to help John.
Thinking about her walk, Claire finished her shower and left her bathroom considering the appropriate clothes: jeans, a sweater, hiking boots. Her plans didn’t matter. She saw that her clothes were laid out. She hated that. This attire assistance occurred without predictability since her accident. There were jeans, dressier than she would have chosen, and a blue snug-fitting V-neck sweater—not exactly perfect for hiking, but with the addition of a coat and scarf it could work.
Then she noticed her jewelry on the dressing table. Her internal monologue: Seriously, it is morning, who needs diamonds in the morning? Avoiding an unnecessary confrontation, she did as she had been bid, dressed in the clothes, and put on the diamond journey necklace, diamond stud earrings, and diamond watch. Her new watch from Switzerland was beautiful, but it sat on her wrist as a constant reminder of punctuality. She’d been late twice. She didn’t need a watch to remind her of Tony’s appreciation. The first time taught her a lesson she would never forget.
Luckily, there were no shoes set out. She could put on the hiking boots and hope for the best. She was pretty sure Tony’s ideas didn’t include shoes, but hers did. Maybe he could find his hiking boots too.
It was almost ten by the time she reached his office. She knocked and waited for his permission to enter. She didn’t hear him but the door opened and she entered, seeing him seated behind his desk with a shirt and tie, looking so professional. She smiled and quietly sat on the leather sofa away from the webcams and waited for the web conference to finish.
It had something to do with a company in Michigan that was losing money. The local government wasn’t willing to give more tax breaks. Were they going to close it or keep it open? The discussion revolved around the potential for future profits. It would probably result in more unemployed people. Claire didn’t want to think about it. She picked up a magazine and began quietly ruffling through the pages.
Ten forty-five he finally finished. She waited for him to complete whatever he was doing on his computer. Once he was done she heard his chair turn toward her. “Ahh, blue, my favorite color,” he said as he eyed the sweater as she walked toward him. “You are beautiful in any color.” His eyes were appreciative of what he could see and what he couldn’t. “Or in no color.” And he smiled and reached out to put his hands around her waist. “I have one more web conference at eleven, then two lunch phone calls. I would like you back after those.” It sounded like a request, it wasn’t.
“It is so nice out. I would like to go for a hike while you are working.” Wording was such an intricate part of her negotiations.
“No, the phone calls may need to be postponed depending on the outcome of the next web conference. I would like you here if I am done earlier. We can lunch and discuss our possible afternoon activities.” He had turned back to his computer screen and read while he spoke.
Claire took a breath, leaned down to his neck, and gently kissed it. She’d been good, he knew she was upset about her family, and she hoped
that she could press a little more. “Well,” exhaling purposely on his neck, “then may I just go out back? The sky is so clear and I could really use some fresh air.”
He was obviously engrossed in his computer but her approach earned her a seductive grin. “Okay, just be back by noon. And could you get me some coffee before you go?” Claire started to ask where Catherine or another member of the staff was, but deciding that it could delay her trip to the backyard, she kissed his neck. “Yes.”
In the kitchen she found coffee still warm in the pot. She added cream, carried it back to his office, and waited. It was now ten fifty-seven. Tony rummaged through some papers and simultaneously spoke on his iPhone. Hanging up he said, “Tell Eric there are contracts at the Iowa City office. I need them here before one o’clock. He needs to get them immediately.” Claire thought about how he was trying to keep her busy at home. She really didn’t mind, but she wanted to go on her walk. He saw the question in her eyes. “And after that, go for your walk, just be back by noon.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Okay. I will tell Eric and be back.”
She hurried to find Eric. Claire asked Catherine about Eric’s whereabouts and explained she would be in the backyard if Mr. Rawlings needed her before noon. Catherine directed Claire to Eric’s apartment attached to the main garage. She started back toward the garages, a walk she rarely took. She didn’t drive, and when she went anywhere Eric or Tony picked her up at the front door.
The walkway between the main house and garages was beautiful. The windows, on both sides continued the full length of the hall and were so clear they seemed invisible. She looked at the sky and thought about her sister and brother-in-law. Emily sounded so distraught on the phone last night. The fact Tony reminded her to call was a miracle in itself. The fact that she spoke on speaker phone was expected. Claire couldn’t believe that John was actually in jail. The charges of embezzlement and fictitious client billing were ludicrous. John would never cheat on a test, much less do any of these things. That was what made John such an amazing attorney, he was honest beyond honest. Claire tried to reassure Emily. She wanted to go to her and help. However, Tony would never allow that. Perhaps she could send money for John’s defense. After all, wasn’t Tony telling her all the time how much capital she possessed? If money wasn’t good for accomplishing what you want, what good was it?