andstill is the see of a bishop. Now there was once a gentlewoman, MonnaPiccarda by name, a widow, that had an estate at Fiesole, hard by thecathedral, on which, for that she was not in the easiest circumstances,she lived most part of the year, and with her her two brothers, veryworthy and courteous young men, both of them. And the lady being wontfrequently to resort to the cathedral, and being still quite young andfair and debonair withal, it so befell that the rector grew in the lastdegree enamoured of her, and waxed at length so bold, that he himselfavowed his passion to the lady, praying her to entertain his love, andrequite it in like measure. The rector was advanced in years, butotherwise the veriest springald, being bold and of a high spirit, of aboundless conceit of himself, and of mien and manners most affected andin the worst taste, and withal so tiresome and insufferable that he wason bad terms with everybody, and, if with one person more than another,with this lady, who not only cared not a jot for him, but had liefer havehad a headache than his company. Wherefore the lady discreetly madeanswer:--"I may well prize your love, Sir, and love you I should and willright gladly; but such love as yours and mine may never admit of aughtthat is not honourable. You are my spiritual father and a priest, and nowverging towards old age, circumstances which should ensure your honourand chastity; and I, on my part, am no longer a girl, such as these loveaffairs might beseem, but a widow, and well you wot how it behoves widowsto be chaste. Wherefore I pray you to have me excused; for, after thesort you crave, you shall never have my love, nor would I in such sort beloved by you." With this answer the rector was for the nonce fain to becontent; but he was not the man to be dismayed and routed by a firstrepulse; and with his wonted temerity and effrontery he plied her againand again with letters and ambassages, and also by word of mouth, when heespied her entering the church. Wherefore the lady finding thispersecution more grievous and harassing than she could well bear, castabout how she might be quit thereof in such fashion as he deserved,seeing that he left her no choice; howbeit she would do nought in thematter until she had conferred with her brothers. She therefore told themhow the rector pursued her, and how she meant to foil him; and, withtheir full concurrence, some few days afterwards she went, as she waswont, to church. The rector no sooner saw her, than he approached andaccosted her, as he was wont, in a tone of easy familiarity. The ladygreeted him, as he came up, with a glance of gladsome recognition; andwhen he had treated her to not a little of his wonted eloquence, she drewhim aside, and heaving a great sigh, said:--"I have oftentimes heard itsaid, Sir, that there is no castle so strong, but that, if the siege becontinued day by day, it will sooner or later be taken; which I nowplainly perceive is my own case. For so fairly have you hemmed me in withthis, that, and the other pretty speech or the like blandishments, thatyou have constrained me to make nought of my former resolve, and, seeingthat I find such favour with you, to surrender myself unto you." Whereto,overjoyed, the rector made answer:--"Madam, I am greatly honoured; and,sooth to say, I marvelled not a little how you should hold out so long,seeing that I have never had the like experience with any other woman,insomuch that I have at times said:--'Were women of silver, they wouldnot be worth a denier, for there is none but would give under thehammer!' But no more of this: when and where may we come together?""Sweet my lord," replied the lady, "for the when, 'tis just as we maythink best, for I have no husband to whom to render account of my nights,but the where passes my wit to conjecture." "How so?" quoth the rector."Why not in your own house?" "Sir," replied the lady, "you know that Ihave two brothers, both young men, who day and night bring their comradesinto the house, which is none too large: for which reason it might not bedone there, unless we were minded to make ourselves, as it were, dumb andblind, uttering never a word, not so much as a monosyllable, and abidingin the dark: in such sort indeed it might be, because they do not intrudeupon my chamber; but theirs is so near to mine that the very leastwhisper could not but be heard." "Nay but, Madam," returned the rector,"let not this stand in our way for a night or two, until I may bethink mewhere else we might be more at our ease." "Be that as you will, Sir,"quoth the lady, "I do but entreat that the affair be kept close, so thatnever a word of it get wind." "Have no fear on that score, Madam,"replied the priest; "and if so it may be, let us forgather to-night.""With pleasure," returned the lady; and having appointed him how and whento come, she left him and went home.
Now the lady had a maid, that was none too young, and had a countenancethe ugliest and most misshapen that ever was seen; for indeed she wasflat-nosed, wry-mouthed, and thick-lipped, with huge, ill-set teeth, eyesthat squinted and were ever bleared, and a complexion betwixt green andyellow, that shewed as if she had spent the summer not at Fiesole but atSinigaglia: besides which she was hip-shot and somewhat halting on theright side. Her name was Ciuta, but, for that she was such a scurvy bitchto look upon, she was called by all folk Ciutazza.(1) And being thusmisshapen of body, she was also not without her share of guile. So thelady called her and said:--"Ciutazza, so thou wilt do me a serviceto-night, I will give thee a fine new shift." At the mention of the shiftCiutazza made answer:--"So you give me a shift, Madam, I will throwmyself into the very fire." "Good," said the lady; "then I would havethee lie to-night in my bed with a man, whom thou wilt caress; but lookthou say never a word, that my brothers, who, as thou knowest, sleep inthe next room, hear thee not; and afterwards I will give thee the shift.""Sleep with a man!" quoth Ciutazza: "why, if need be, I will sleep withsix." So in the evening Master Rector came, as he had been bidden; andthe two young men, as the lady had arranged, being in their room, andmaking themselves very audible, he stole noiselessly, and in the dark,into the lady's room, and got him on to the bed, which Ciutazza, welladvised by the lady how to behave, mounted from the other side. WhereuponMaster Rector, thinking to have the lady by his side, took Ciutazza inhis arms, and fell a kissing her, saying never a word the while, andCiutazza did the like; and so he enjoyed her, plucking the boon which hehad so long desired.
The rector and Ciutazza thus closeted, the lady charged her brothers toexecute the rest of her plan. They accordingly stole quietly out of theirroom, and hied them to the piazza, where Fortune proved propitious beyondwhat they had craved of her; for, it being a very hot night, the bishophad been seeking them, purposing to go home with them, and solace himselfwith their society, and quench his thirst. With which desire heacquainted them, as soon as he espied them coming into the piazza; and sothey escorted him to their house, and there in the cool of their littlecourtyard, which was bright with many a lamp, he took, to his no smallcomfort, a draught of their good wine. Which done:--"Sir," said the youngmen, "since of your great courtesy you have deigned to visit our poorhouse, to which we were but now about to invite you, we should begratified if you would be pleased to give a look at somewhat, a meretrifle though it be, which we have here to shew you." The bishop repliedthat he would do so with pleasure. Whereupon one of the young men took alighted torch and led the way, the bishop and the rest following, to thechamber where Master Rector lay with Ciutazza.
Now the rector, being in hot haste, had ridden hard, insomuch that he wasalready gotten above three miles on his way when they arrived; and so,being somewhat tired, he was resting, but, hot though the night was, hestill held Ciutazza in his arms. In which posture he was shewn to thebishop, when, preceded by the young man bearing the light, and followedby the others, he entered the chamber. And being roused, and observingthe light and the folk that stood about him, Master Rector was mightyashamed and affrighted, and popped his head under the clothes. But thebishop, reprimanding him severely, constrained him to thrust his head outagain, and take a view of his bed-fellow. Thus made aware of the trickwhich the lady had played him, the rector was now, both on that score andby reason of his signal disgrace, the saddest man that ever was; and hisdiscomfiture was complete, when, having donned his clothes, he wascommitted by the bishop's command to close custody and sent to prison,there to expiate his offence by a rigorous penance.
The bishop was then fain to know how it h
ad come about that he hadforgathered there with Ciutazza. Whereupon the young men related thewhole story; which ended, the bishop commended both the lady and theyoung men not a little, for that they had taken condign vengeance uponhim without imbruing their hands in the blood of a priest. The bishopcaused him to bewail his transgression forty days; but what with hislove, and the scornful requital which it had received, he bewailed itmore than forty and nine days, not to mention that for a great while hecould not shew himself in the street but the boys would point the fingerat him and say:--"There goes he that lay with Ciutazza." Which was suchan affliction to him that he was like to go mad. On this wise the worthylady rid herself of the