She jerked to him fully with angry green eyes. “Are you referring to your sexathons?”
He raised his brows. “I call them sexorcims. Who told you? Bo? That little shit has a big mouth.”
“Yes, but don’t blame him! It slipped when you tried to kill yourself, he was shaken. And no I don’t want to be a fuck for your anything!”
He traced his finger on her shoulder, amazed that she had the ability to think of Bo’s wellbeing at that moment. “I didn’t think you would. Tabitha usually helps arrange those.”
“What? Why?”
“Don’t worry, it’s not just Tabitha in those. I have to use more than one woman.”
“Oh. My. God,” she whispered. “That is just so wrong, Sade.”
“I don’t like it either.”
“Then why do it?”
“I rarely do.” He laid on his back, amazed that he wasn’t more upset while talking about the despised thing.
“Then just quit!”
“I keep it back as long as I can but sometimes I have to. It’s been a while, I know my body. Soon, I’ll need to do it.” He turned his head and studied her shocked face. “I’m not proud of them if that helps. It’s not my thing to use women in any way they don’t want. I pay them well and that’s the little excuse I use to make fucking them senseless all okay.”
“Sade listen to me. There are ways to deal with this. Can you take this stupid mask off?”
He looked at her, liking her in the mask. “Deal with needing to fuck while I’m angry?”
She made incredulous noises. “Yes! I mean… you can make love to one woman and she can help you with that.”
He turned on his side again, getting close enough to feel the breath of her strange words, knowing they’d be a turn on in some new way. “She could help with that?”
“Why are you smiling like that?”
“Because I find you so fucking adorable with your emotional words and terms for everything.”
“Emotions are a real part of people and even if you hide yours, you still have them.”
“I know they are. And I do have them, just not all of them when fucking. I do have a lot of anger though. I know that.”
“But you should have all of them… well… not anger so much, when you’re fucking.”
He smiled. “You said fucking.”
“I’m serious, Sade.”
“So making love,” he continued, “do you have to be in love for this?”
“Well yes,” she cried.
“I’m messing with you, angel. Is it bad to you that I don’t know how to be that?”
“No, no, it’s not bad,” she nearly cooed. This time the mush touched him since she said it while tied up being molested by him. Her fucking kindness was… baffling. “I think you maybe do know and you don’t realize you do.”
He kissed on her shoulder, wanting to feel her skin on his lips again. “You get major points for making me even consider it. But really, I’m not interested in love.”
“Then you’re not interested in me,” she exclaimed.
“Wrong,” he said. “I am so… very fucking interested in you.” He traced the mound of her breast and her breath sucked in. “And I think you must love me. You respond nicely to my touch.”
“I can’t help that, you’re forcing it.”
“Ohhh no no. I know very well the difference between embraced pleasure and forced. And even though you have a hard time with it at first… you embrace it like a vice on my cock.”
She turned her face away.
He leaned and covered her nipple with his mouth, getting lost in the feel of the thick tip along his teeth, rolling his tongue and lips over it. He flicked over the very top and moaned at the way she arched her back and strained not to tell what it did. “See baby? You love my touch. Why do you fight it?”
“Because it’s forced!” she whined a little while straining.
“Force doesn’t have to be bad.” He stroked along her inner thigh, listening to her quickened breaths. He barely touched her open folds, learning the delicious true story. “You’re dripping again.”
She strained in silly denial. “From before,” she barely whispered.
He spread her juices very slowly around her clit. “Pretty sure I licked all that up.” He danced his touch near his target. “Mercy. Look at me. Talk to me.”
She gave a small shake of her head with a tiny peep sound.
“You were so right about chit-chatting and intimacy. I like this fucking connection.” He said this while stroking softly on her clit. “Come on angel,” he urged, “look at me while I touch you here. The sooner you learn it, the faster you pass.”
She jerked her face to him and seeing the heat mingling in her angry gaze made him shudder in anticipation.
“This right here?” He rubbed slow circles over it. “Don’t stop looking at me.” He leaned to her mouth, feeling her gasps. He licked along the top of her lip. She cried out, a sound of perfect torment as he built her fire. “Maybe you actually can play with me. Somebody you don’t love.”
He plunged his finger deep inside her before she could argue, taking her sharp cry of his name right in his mouth, letting it tear a fiery path through his rules, desires, addictions. For the first time in his life that he could remember, pleasure without pain came together for a dance. He plunged his tongue now, his growls hungry, hungry to bring his fury to the stage and blow her away. “Dance for me angel,” he rasped.
“Sade! Yes, God yes,” she said in fucking beautiful abandon. “Touch me, touch me, kiss me,” she cried frantic.
The desperate need in her voice… with his name connected… Fucking confounding. And if she’d said fuck me he’d have his cock inside her so very deep. But he had to hear that one before he crossed that barrier of no return. Once he did that, he would lose himself to that anger and fuck her to pieces. With a gasp, he pulled his finger out and made war on her hard clit.
“Come for me, Mercy,” he said in her mouth as he gave her sweet clit three hard spanks. Her reaction made him crazy, sharp cries of yes. “You like that, fuck,” he whispered, thrusting his finger deep, his need for that angry reckless in the rapid jabs. “Of course you do,” he shuddered. “Such a beautiful angel.” He pulled out and wiggled his touch over her clit until her body bowed up with the pleasure. He fucked her mouth with his tongue then lifted up, looking at her. “I’m going to spank your clit till you come. Would you like that?”
She locked her gaze on his. “Yes, yes!”
He slapped it twice and she jolted with it. “You like that?” He popped it a few more times. “Tell me!” he rasped, ready to tear into her in some manner.
“Yes!”
“Beg for it, beg me,” he ordered, spanking more.
“Please make me feel good!”
He spanked non-stop, softly at first then increased speed and pressure until her screams peaked and her body broke in violent shudders. He growled and pressed his palm on her clit, letting her buck against the constant pressure while he tasted the ecstasy in every breath, every plead and beg, biting at her lips.
Her orgasm spiraled down and she panted with her eyes closed, facing him still. Sade gasped from the rush and kissed along her face, not getting why he did, why he’d even want to do the oddity or why the urge was becoming frequent with her. He only knew that everything about her demanded it, and it seemed perfectly right to obey before it disappeared like so many other near pleasures that didn’t require some form of fucking pain.
He laid on his back now, longing to untie her. Feel her on him, touching him back. What would that be like? Both of them touching at the same time during such an unusual connection? Part of him was leery to find out which compelled him all the more to find out.
“I need the bathroom,” she said in a tiny voice.
Right. Fuck. She could go like she made him go. Tied to a chain.
“Can’t you untie me now? I’m pretty sure I’m used to it.”
Yeah r
ight. He’d need to be sure and he was far from it.
“You can tie me back up if I’m wrong.”
“Because you’d so let me.”
“I would.”
“And I know that how?”
“I give you my word!”
He couldn’t help but laugh. And laugh. And laugh.
“It’s not even that funny!”
And laugh.
“Sade! I need to pee!”
“You can use the same chain as you made me.”
“I am not the same threat as you!”
“I wasn’t a threat.”
“To yourself! You nearly died!”
“Yeah and you stopped it. Like you stopped Tabitha, like you stopped me from fighting. Block, block, block Sade’s need for pain. Thank you Miss Mercy!”
“Well you’re very welcome Mr. Sade! And I’ll do it again and again and again! And again!”
“I bet you would.” He sat up, not sure why that didn’t really piss him off any more. “So if I untie you… you’ll still do sexual therapy with me?”
She didn’t answer and Sade looked back at her to find her staring. Thinking.
“That you have to think so long says no.”
“I just don’t want to agree to something I can’t follow through with!”
“Then we should do a few more rounds.”
“No! No, no! Fine I’ll do it. If you…”
“Let you lead?”
“Yes! Yes, that. I can handle that.”
“If you don’t, I’m going to wrestle you back into these restraints.”
“You won’t need to, I’ll go willingly.”
Hmph. He kinda hoped she defied him. He liked hard physical contact with her too. “Hold still then.”
Chapter Sixteen
“Ohhhh thank you thank you,” she whispered as he began untying her. “You won’t regret this.”
When she was finally free, he eyed her, ready. She removed the mask to his disappointment and pulled the covers over her. She glanced toward him. “What? I can still be shy can’t I?”
Fuck, just what did he love so much about that? “Yes, please do.”
She looked down and to the right then back toward him. “You like me shy?”
At seeing she was that interested in what he liked about her at that moment brought his grin. “I think I do. Very much so.”
“I’m going to the bathroom now.”
“I’m following you.”
“Fine.”
Her light tone made him cautious. He hoped it was genuine because if it was, then that meant she’d accepted him. And the idea that she would, did those strange things to him that accompanied all her little magic tricks.
He leaned in the doorway, watching her sit on the toilet. “Please!” she exclaimed.
He rolled his eyes and pushed off the doorjamb, waiting in the hall. He didn’t entirely trust her.
She appeared in the doorway a few moments later and stared at him. “Can I get dressed?”
He stepped aside and she went to her room while he went to the kitchen. Fuck he was hungry. When she came out¸ he was biting into an apple. He eyed her clothes. “You uh, gonna be working out?”
“Yep.”
By the time she round house kicked the apple out of his hand, he’d lost the precious seconds that would give him the upper hand. She barraged him with kicks and punches until Sade found himself in the corner of the kitchen, his leg up shielding his side, arms over his face. “Mercy! Stop it!”
“Come on!” she screamed at him. “Fight me! You want to tie me up? I’ll show you motherfucker, you’re getting it!”
Sade launched for her and they hit the floor. Unlike the last time they grappled, she got the upper hand first. He realized exactly how serious she was when her fist made quite a few solid connections to his face, triggering his anger.
He roared and flipped her off, feeling warm leaking onto this lip. He wiped with his arm. “Fucking busted my nose?”
“That’s not all I’m going to bust baby!”
Shit. She meant it. The idea that he’d have to hurt her was more than he could stand. She ran at him with a yell and he did the only thing he could think in that second. He ran to his basement.
She was hot on his heels and busted through the door before he could lock her out. “Mercy, stop!”
“I am so going to love kicking your motherfucking ass!” She ran at him and he dodged only to get a quick back fist in the head.
Sade grabbed a flogging staff and held it at her. “Don’t make me hurt you baby.”
“You can’t hurt me more than you have!” she screamed, running at him.
Sade again evaded, eying the door.
“I’ll bite your ear off before you can open it,” she seethed.
“Mercy,” he held his free hand up. “Truce, come on. I’ll let you tie me up if you want to. Just… calm down.”
“I won’t calm down!” she screamed, looking right and grabbing something and throwing it at him. “I won’t calm down you bastard! You made me!” She snatched up whatever she could get her hands on and launched it at him, making him dodge the onslaught.
Fuck, she was beyond furious. “I’m sorry, I am!”
“I’m sorry!” she continued screaming. “I’m sorry, I’m the sorry one! Me! The stupid girl!” She grabbed wildly for things, not even seeing. “Stupid little girl! Stupid scars!” She ran at him and he grabbed her in his arms. The fight he expected didn’t come as she suddenly hung limp in his embrace with light waling. “Stupid scars,” she gasped.
“I’m sorry Mercy,” he whispered, panicked at feeling the depth of her pain. It was so fucking deep and had less to do with what he’d done. It was about something else. Those scars. Those fucking scars. What the fuck? God, what happened to her? “I’m sorry baby,” he gasped in her ear. I mean it, I’m so sorry.”
“They cut me,” she wailed the words with a long sob before gasping, “They made me cry all the time, every day. Over and over and over they… they put things in me,” she barely whispered. “I can’t have a family, I can’t ever be a mother now!”
Fury trembled through Sade at her words. She’d been raped? Repeatedly? The idea that she’d lived a hell like him made him grip her tight in dread. That he’d done what he had to her made him sick now. A little girl, an angel, hurt and confused by the same evil that had hurt him and he’d done that? “I was only four,” she gasped. “Then five and six! Seven, eight, nine and ten!”
“Oh fuck,” he gasped, clenching his eyes tight. “Oh God,” he growled bitterly, “I’m so sorry.” He stroked her head.
“Nobody to hate,” she cried hoarsely, limp in his arms. “The faces changed, they always changed. They changed, they cycled me…” she barely wailed, “they cycled me, Sade. Cycled my life away, and all my stupid little girl dreams.”
Sade let out a roar of fury as he gripped her hard. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he said, the pain suffocating him. “I didn’t know.”
“I know,” she wailed. “I know you didn’t know. But I’m broken,” she cried into his shoulder. “My body is so broken and it won’t fix. I thought I fixed it but I didn’t,” she cried confused and lost. “I just want you to touch me so bad and I can’t,” she gripped him back tight now. “I want to help you and I can’t. I can’t, my body is dirty and broken!”
“I got you,” he whispered, hugging her tight wile rocking her side to side a little. “I got you, I’ll help you baby. You’re not dirty, you’re so fucking beautiful. I’ll fix it, you’ll see.”
****
Sade lay awake numb all night, replaying the words she’d screamed at him, wishing he could shut them off. He could only wonder what exactly her confession would do to him. Something. They were doing something big and bad, he could feel it. He wasn’t sure what and he didn’t like not knowing. He just knew that Mercy was… his. His in a way he didn’t really get only knew she was. And he wanted her. He had to have her. Every bit of her. Own her.
Whatever the fuck that even meant or looked like, that’s what was happening somehow. Maybe it was her misery and pain that he had to have. He loved all forms of it and having sweet little Mercy’s pain and suffering to take into himself was nothing short of utopia for his fucked up ways. He got his sadomasochistic cake and he got to devour it too.
****
Mercy smiled, unsure why she should be happy since she’d officially lost her marbles on Sade yesterday. She just felt… free and… safe. Yeah. Safe. The way he’d hugged her so tight. She felt her pain enter him, it was an odd knowing, or sensation to feel him absorbing it, sharing it with her. Sharing. That’s what it was that had her smiling. The only other man who’d made that hard exchange with her pain had been her father.
She’d shared that darkness with him and the freedom it came with was a little shocking. He knew she was broken now. And he was okay with it. Loved her anyway? Love might be a strong word but… she felt it. With him. Even if he didn’t know it.
She remembered the things he’d made her do. She bit her lip as she pranced around the house like Cinderella with her happy duster. She wasn’t at all unhappy about what he’d done with her really. She’d planned to work her way to that and while it wasn’t her preferred method, he understood him and his. And okay, yes, she’d definitely fantasized about it. Not in that way but of him touching her, doing things. He was very gentle. Perfect.
She’d really only intended to let him know how she felt about the whole forced thing and lost her temper when her past jumped in. Then came the pain, and helpless rage. It was a cycle she used to go through and it snuck up on her. But she knew Sade wouldn’t have done any of it had he known her secret. And even now, she worried he might not ever touch her again with the way he treated her. Like she were breakable. And he was the devil.
She’d have to convince him that she was okay. And that he wasn’t the monster. She had ideas to do that. Heat filled her privates and made them tingle just like they had while she’d touched him and when he’d... done those amazing things to her. She liked it so much. Liked touching him even more. Liked him touching her less right at first, but once it felt so good… then God yes.