"I saw him in London. Who is he?" she asked.
"His name is Ancelin de Courcey," he said shortly.
"He is very handsome," said Lillyth.
Sebastian snorted. "Handsome on the outside perhaps."
She raised her eyebrows at his tone of voice, but he did not pursue the subject further, so Lillyth let it drop. As they drew closer to their destination, Lillyth became nervous and apprehensive. Sebastian noticed the change in her and suggested they stop and eat so they would not arrive hungry, but afterward Lillyth became nauseated and her stomach muscles felt tied in knots. She retched until she became weak, and Sebastian urged that they hurry and get to Berkhamstead without further delay. He could clearly see she needed to be abed.
When they arrived, they left their horses in the stables and Sebastian led her into the huge castle. By a backstairs route he took her to an upper level and led her to a secluded alcove where he bade her wait.
"I will try to find Robert de Mortain and have a private word with him."
"Here, take this ring. It will save a lot of explanations. What if you cannot find him?" she asked apprehensively.
"Then I shall return and we can decide what to do next. Lillyth, you look dreadful. Will you be all right if I leave you alone here?"
She nodded mutely.
The wait was endless. Pages and servants passed her by but paid little attention. There was nowhere to sit and her legs felt like water. I must not faint, she told herself sternly. She contemplated sitting on the floor, but knew this would attract undue attention. She began to count slowly, hoping this would make the minutes go faster, and when she reached a thousand, her mind could go no farther. Then she noticed Sebastian returning with another man.
"Lillyth, my dear," said Robert de Mortain, "you traveled all this way alone and I can see the journey has made you ill. Come, my dear, I will find you comfortable rooms."
"Oh thank you, Robert, it is so kind of you to receive me thus," she laughed with relief.
He looked at her face, so beautiful but so pale, and his heart went out to her. She was so young and innocent, what had that devil Montgomery done to her to make her flee her home?
Robert led the way up another flight of steps and along a hallway. He opened two or three doors before choosing a chamber and ushered Lillyth and Father Sebastian inside. It was a comfortable bedchamber, but despite the sunshine outside, the room was cold. A smaller chamber with a trundle bed opened off it.
"I will have some food sent up and a servant to light a fire," Robert said.
At the mention of food Lillyth turned paler and murmured, "Thank you, my lord, but I could not eat a thing tonight, and Sebastian can light a fire for me."
"I will send women to look after you." He looked perplexed for a moment. "Those damned chattering girls my wife surrounds herself with are next to useless. I think I had better send my physician to you:"
"Oh no, no, no," she pleaded, sinking down upon the bed. "I am not ill, my lord, just fatigued."
"I have it!" Robert exclaimed, pleased with himself. "My old nurse. She will mother you, perhaps even smother you," he laughed, taking her hands. "Father Sebastian will bring her here to you and I will come by later to see how you are feeling." He lifted her hand to his lips and the two men departed.
Lillyth was swept with a relief that was weakening in its intensity. Robert had looked so concerned and had acted in a paternal manner toward her. Perhaps he could be kind for kindness's sake and would require no payment from her.
Sebastian came back with a plain-faced, comfortable plump woman. She took one look at the pathetic figure huddled on the bed and threw her hands in the air. She turned upon Father Sebastian. "Shoo, shoo, you go now. We need no men here."
Lillyth thanked him before he was shoved from the room.
"I will undress you, just lie back. I know you have not eaten, but sleep is the most important. We French have a saying, 'To sleep is to dine!' " She hustled Lillyth into the bed. "Tomorrow I bathe you and wash your beautiful hair, but tonight sleep, sleep, sleep," she emphasized.
"My Lord Robert will be returning shortly," Lillyth began.
"Ha! He won't get past the door, that one! I shall tell him you are asleep. He will do as I say— he always has."
"You are very kind to me. What is your name?" asked Lillyth as she pulled up the cool sheets. "My name is Bette. A plain name for a plain woman, but your name is very beautiful, Lillyth. It quite matches you."
The elderly woman chatted on comfortably until Lillyth began to doze. She did not hear Robert come, nor Bette send him away. She heard nothing at all until mid-morning. She rolled over in the big bed and opened her eyes. She was quite alone, but not for long. Bette came bustling in straight from the kitchens with cool milk and hot buttered scones with honey. She insisted Lillyth have it in bed. Afterward she helped her bathe and washed and dried her beautiful, long hair.
"You will do nothing but rest today, and if Robert comes I shall not allow him to tire you."
Lillyth laughed. "You do not sound very much in awe of him, Bette."
"I should think not! He was in my nursery, aye and his son too." She nodded. "Lillyth, dear, you haven't a thing to wear, but never mind, I shall speak to Robert."
"Oh no, you mustn't," she protested.
"Nonsense! He is a very generous man. Why, you should see the wardrobe his wife has and all those chattering creatures she keeps about her. Every one of them is extravagant to a fault. And she does nothing but nag him, poor man. I know what he likes. He needs someplace where he can come and relax for an hour. We will give him that place, you will see." She chatted on about their plans, and Lillyth smiled to herself.
A knock on the door sent Lillyth scurrying back under the bedcovers, but when Bette answered the door it was only a messenger with a small parcel. Bette brought it to Lillyth, who unwrapped it carefully. There lay the two golden bracelets. "l was the one he had in mind," she said, surprised.
"A little gift from Robert?" Bette asked.
"No I believe they are from a gentleman called Ancelin."
"De Courcey! He is always about Robert. Be careful of that one, my girl. Looks are very deceptive. He has a wicked wit and makes Robert laugh, but the women hang about him something shameful."
Chapter 24
Lillyth finally had to insist on getting dressed, and that evening when Robert came to see how she was, she followed Bette to the door and opened it wide to permit him entrance.
"I am feeling perfectly rested, my lord, which is more than I can say for you. Please come in and make yourself comfortable."
"Thank you, Lillyth. I'm delighted to find you well again," he smiled.
Bette bustled over to get him wine, but Lillyth forestalled her and with an almost imperceptible nod toward the other room, dismissed the old servant. When they were alone Lillyth brought him the wine, took a cushion and placed it on the floor beside his chair and sat at his feet gazing up at him.
"I'd forgotten how fair you were," he said, picking up a tress of her hair and rubbing it playfully between his fingers.
"This is such a vast place. Although I haven't seen too much of it, it must keep you very busy." She encouraged him to talk about himself, and soon he was very relaxed and talking as if they had been friends for years.
He liked to talk, a thing he seldom got a chance to do with his own wife, and Lillyth soon learned that all he wanted, like most men, was a good listener. Soon he was talking about the vast preparations he had made prior to the invasion. He told her that he had provided one hundred and twenty ships. Her mind flew back to a time when Guy had told her that it had taken all his resources to furnish one ship. She drew her mind back to the present quickly and she tried to imagine the wealth it had taken to provide one hundred and twenty ships with men, horses and provisions.
Robert had taken her hand and was stroking it tenderly. "Lillyth, I have a small hunting lodge not too many miles from here. Would you perhaps consider going there wi
th me for a few days? We could take just a couple of servants with us— someone to cook for us and of course a maid for you. I feel in need of a rest— a little peace and quiet. Do you think you could find it in your heart to show me a little kindness?" he asked wistfully.
She thought cynically, Here is the payoff. You never get something for nothing. She pushed her apprehension away and said, "I should like that above all things, my lord, but I certainly don't need a maid, and I could do the cooking for just the two of us. That way we can be alone. I would feel so much more comfortable with no prying eyes upon us."
"You can cook?" he asked, amazed.
"Well, of course I cannot rival your Norman chefs with all the intricate dishes they prepare for you, but simple things like omelets and stews are fun to make."
He looked at her unbelievingly. "Would you really do that for me, Lillyth?"
"It would be my pleasure," she smiled.
He jumped up, enthused. "I'll make all the arrangements. It will take a few days, but you will be busy the next couple of days anyway," he said cryptically. He bent and brushed his lips across hers. "I don't know when I have spent such a pleasant evening. Thank you, my dear."
She looked up at him and saw that the careworn look he had when he came in had vanished, and he looked years younger.
The next morning brought a bevy of people to her rooms. Seamstresses and men bearing furs and jewelry told her that she must make her choices. She cast an accusing glance at Bette, who only grinned and nodded her head in approval. Lillyth was woman enough to enjoy the attention and the beautiful materials and preen in front of the mirror the next day when the gowns were presented.
Lillyth did not go down to the great hall for her meals because Bette brought them to her rooms, explaining that there was always such a crush in the dining hall and everything was usually cold by the time it was served: But Lillyth was thankful to take her meals alone. She did not wish to come into contact with Robert's wife or any of her ladies.
Robert came for an hour each evening. He talked, laughed and relaxed in general, but did not press his attentions upon her in any intimate way. He always left her before the hour became unduly late, and then finally he told her to be ready on the morrow, as they would be leaving for the hunting lodge after breakfast.
Lillyth was surprised and a little unnerved to find that Robert's "gentlemen" were riding out with them. She was greatly agitated when Ancelin de Courcey himself carried the things down for her. He appraised her from head to foot with his cool silver eyes and said before they reached Robert's side, "If you do your work well during the next few days, I shall have a proposition to put before you when you return."
When they reached the castle ward, Robert held a pretty white mare with red leather saddle and harness for her. She exclaimed with a real delight, and Robert was obviously pleased with her reception of his gift. His gentlemen were acting as escort and also carrying food that had been prepared for them, a vast quantity of French wines, a pair of berselet hounds that hunted by sight, a pair of brachet hounds that hunted by scent, falcons, linen, candles and other luxuries.
Lillyth felt very self-conscious that the whole party of men took it for granted that she was Robert's latest mistress, but there was nothing she could do except hold her head high and act the part of a gentlewoman, which came naturally enough to her. After they arrived, it was quite some time before his men prepared a meal, made up two fresh bedchambers, laid the fires without lighting them and took care of the needs of the horses and dogs. Lillyth had her things brought into one of the chambers, and she decided to stay in there until the last of the gentlemen departed.
Robert opened the chamber door. "You are so shy, Lillyth, but I must admit it is an endearing quality, and in truth I thought they would never leave," he laughed.
"This must be very rare for you, to get away from everyone and everything," she said.
"Not quite everything. I have a huge pile of dispatches from London to read, but they can wait. We've three whole days to ourselves. What shall we do first?"
Relieved to find he did not expect to play games in the big bed all afternoon, she replied, "Well, whatever we do, let us do it outside in the sunshine. It's such a lovely day, let's not waste it."
"Would you care to go hawking?" he asked her politely.
"I would really rather just go for a walk. Perhaps we could take a couple of the dogs with us?"
"It is quite dangerous to be in these woods on foot, Lillyth," he warned.
"I have no fear with you beside me, my lord," she answered truthfully.
Robert unleashed the hounds and they went crashing off through the underbrush. Robert and Lillyth walked hand in hand beneath the towering trees, while his other hand stayed on the hilt of his dagger in case danger threatened.
Brown leaves from the previous autumn swirled about their feet and made a delicious crisp sound as they crunched them underfoot. Lillyth stooped to pick up a few acorns, and Robert watched her appreciatively.
"You are a delight to the eyes in that pale turquoise."
"It is not very suitable for country wear. It would be more appropriate at a ball, but it is nice and cool. I have not thanked you properly for all the lovely things you have given me."
He shook his head. "Please no. Whatever you wish for, you may have."
If I could only say that to him, and mean it, thought Lillyth sadly, but I cannot give him my heart.
She fingered the acorns. "Aren't they curious, these little hard fruits?" She spied a gray squirrel, remained motionless and held her hand out to it. It came timidly at first, then more boldly. It took an acorn in its mouth and greedily took another in its claws before it scampered off to bury them.
Robert laughed. "Do you think it will come to me?"
"Of course," she said, giving him some acorns, "but do not hold them between your fingers or you will feel its teeth as sharp as needles! Hold them on the palm of your hand."
The squirrel came back to Lillyth, but when she had nothing for him he ran up her dress and across her shoulders, sniffing her ears and pulling her hair. Reluctantly, it went to Robert and picked the acorns from his hand. "Cheeky devil!" he laughed.
That evening they dined royally on roasted pheasant with a delicious white wine. Pies of all descriptions and cheeses had been brought for their pleasure, and dozens of delicate tarts and pastries rounded off the meal. Lillyth was relieved that Robert was a good talker, and when a silence fell she only had to ask a question with wide-eyed curiosity, such as, "Do you believe the world to be round or flat?" to send him off on a lengthy explanation of his views and opinions.
Night was upon them and could be denied no longer. At last he said, "I will give you a little privacy while you retire, my dear. When I return I hope you won't be unkind and send me away."
She smiled tremulously, and he departed. Lillyth chose an expensive perfume from one of the many Robert had provided for her. She left one candelabrum burning, slipped into a white lacy bedgown and propped herself against the pillows. Her heart hammered as he came into the chamber dressed in a richly embroidered bedgown. His eyes avoided the tempting picture she presented, and he seemed nervous. He carefully blew out the candles and in the pitch darkness removed his robe and came into bed. Very tenderly he reached for her and kissed her. He became excited at the velvet smoothness of her skin, but he remained extremely gentle. He was intoxicated with her nearness, and his words became slurred as if he were drunk with the feel and smell of her.
She was nervous and not in a mood to make love but forced herself to make no protest when he pressed her back tenderly and moved against her.
She was so dry and tight when he reached out his fingers to explore her that he thought with delight that perhaps she was still virgin after all. The moment his shaft brushed against her thigh, he reached his climax and it was over. He immediately began apologizing. He confessed that he had a problem with premature ejaculation, and moved away from her. He begged her forgive
ness, and she put out a reassuring hand and caressed his shoulder, vastly relieved at the outcome.
"Men have such base desires, my dearest. You are the sweetest thing that has happened to me in many years. I beg that you keep this matter secret between us?"
"Robert, our relationship shall remain completely private. I am content just to be close."
Thank God he is so gentle and mannerly, thought Lillyth. He slept, but Lillyth lay awake, feeling guilty, lonely and bleak. In the middle of the night she rose softly and stood by the window. She had had a foolish longing to make him into a being that fit her deepest requirements, but it was impossible. Guy stood beside her in her thoughts and she could not banish his specter. Love with him had been an exalting, blind madness, and the loss of that love had been like a brush with death.
A voice from the bed disturbed her thoughts. "Are you already regretting it, my dearest?"
She turned to him quickly with a denial on her lips.
"Your warmth and understanding are was very precious to me, Lillyth. Would you like me to leave you now so that I won't disturb your sleep?" he offered.
"Oh, Robert, you are too kind and thoughtful." She went back to the bed. "I don't want you to leave me, it would be too lonely for both of us. Just hold me, please."
The next day he was so happy and lighthearted, almost like a boy. It was infectious, and soon she was laughing with him. He was unfailingly thoughtful and kind. He looked rough and ungentle, a huge military man, but his manners, toward Lillyth at least, belied his appearance. He was almost shy with her, formal without being stiff.