She was taking a bath before the fire when he came in and he blushed crimson, begged forgiveness for intruding upon her privacy, and withdrew immediately. Unbidden pictures of Guy sprang up. He had always taken such pleasure in watching her bathe, and when she had emerged glistening wet he had never been able to resist sweeping her into his arms, while the water droplets still clung to her skin, to make violent love to her. Or when he was bathing, he would tease her by picking her up and pretending to drop her into the water with him. She sighed and forced her thoughts back to the present.
That night Robert came to her again under almost identical circumstances. Total darkness, too gentle caresses, and a quick release before he could consummate their union. Lillyth was overwhelmingly thankful for his unfailing tenderness toward her.
When their three days were up, Robert's gentlemen returned to escort them back to Berkhamstead. On the ride back, Ancelin de Courcey maneuvered his horse beside Lillyth's. He doffed his hat to her and bowed. "I congratulate you on your success. I can see that it went well; I only need to look at him to see that. I will be calling on you in a few days." He urged his horse to a canter and Lillyth dropped back to ride beside Robert.
Upon her return to Berkhamstead, Lillyth found that a much more sumptuous apartment had been prepared for her in one of the new wings. It was on the second floor, and the windows opened onto a lovely garden. She was delighted with the new arrangements, and Bette was there waiting for her, and beaming her approval.
Robert said a tender farewell, not caring that Bette was with them. "I will not be able to spend as much time with you as I would like, but we must guard your reputation and avoid a scandal, dearest. Ancelin, my dear friend, will act as a go-between. He is very discreet and you may put complete trust in him."
She doubted that very much, and she exchanged a knowing glance with Bette.
Chapter 25
Incredibly, it was almost a week before Guy discovered that Lillyth had gone. He assumed that she was being stubborn and avoiding him by keeping to her chamber. When he learned that she had gone and Alison had kept him in ignorance, he was incensed.
"Where could she possibly have gone?" he stormed. Alison did not dare to tell him, and after raving and shouting two solid hours, he ordered that his horse be saddled and announced he was going to London to find her. Rolf tried to calm him and offered to go with him.
"You have your work cut out here, bringing your wayward wife to heel," Guy thundered.
Upon arrival in London he went to the inn where he had stayed with Lillyth and was surprised to find that they expected him. He was so relieved to discover that Lillyth had been staying there that he actually felt weak. He invited the landlady in for a drink, and questioned her carefully.
"My wife is no longer here, madame?"
"No, my lord. She said to give you a message that she had gone on without you and, er, she said to charge everything to your accounting, my lord."
"Did she, damn her," he shouted. "And where is it exactly she has gone?" He tried to moderate his tone.
"Why, my lord, don't you know?" she asked, surprised.
"I must confess, madame, that I do not. We had, shall we say, domestic difficulties, and she left without telling me where she was going."
"I see. Well, I do believe she and the monk she was traveling with were going to Berkhamstead."
"Monk?" His mind reeled. Of course, she left with Sebastian! He left at about the same time. Berkhamstead— Robert— it went through him like a knife thrust. "Of course. Where else would she go?" He sank onto the bed, his head in his hands.
"Are you ill, my lord?" the landlady asked, greatly concerned.
"Nay, I am just weary. Thank you, madame, I will see you tomorrow." He flung himself fully clothed onto the bed. She had betrayed him! Should he go after her? No, never! A black anger took hold of him and threatened to consume him. He tossed and turned the night away, and by morning there was no other course left open to him but to return to Godstone.
When he arrived home, he called Rolf and his brothers together. "I am going to post a proclamation among my men. I will give a hundred silver deniers for Mortain's head."
"You are mad!" Rolf shouted.
Andre looked grim. "William would destroy every man, woman and child in Godstone, then burn it to the ground. You know what William's vengeance is like!"
"The man has to die. There is too much pain in me, and he did it."
"Nay, brother, you did it yourself, and you know it!" Nicholas pointed out bluntly. The others blanched at his incautious words, but Guy just stared ahead, his eyes unseeing, his mind miles away. Murder was in his heart. He would find them together and kill both!
That night sleep would not come, so he drank himself into unconsciousness. The next day his temper was so vile every man stayed his distance and tread warily. The pattern was set and it wasn't long before his brothers feared for his sanity as one week sped into another.
"I think he needs a woman," Andre said to Rolf, when he was over from Oxstead.
Rolf laughed grimly. "He has lain with every woman over fifteen in Godstone this past month. There is only one woman can cure what's wrong with him."
"Perhaps if we showed him he was needed around here more, he would snap out of it," Nick suggested. "I could tell him the Saxons need watching or they lie down on the job and snore for an hour."
"You know they work hard for him, and so does he. It will be an early harvest this year. He'll buckle down soon. When there is work to be done, don't worry, he will do it."
Morag was not surprised when Guy swallowed his pride and paid her a visit. The women of the huts had quickly spread all the gossip that trickled down from the hall. Morag knew his every move. She knew when and with whom Lillyth had departed. She also knew which women had lain with the master and that not one had pleased him nor caught his fancy.
She looked at his face through hooded eyes. He was almost haggard. There was so much repressed anger within him, waiting like a crouched predator to pounce, that she was afraid of him. "What do you wish, my lord?" she asked, low.
"Answers!" he said savagely.
"You do not believe in my powers. You are clutching at straws," she said quietly, wishing he would not involve her, but knowing how futile such a wish was.
"Careful, woman!" he warned.
"Give me your questions," she said.
"Why?" he flared. "Why did she do this thing?"
She looked at him for a long time, thinking how foolish men were. He knew full well why. He just would not admit he was at fault. "You pick what you plant," she said simply.
"I will have you killed!" he ground out between his teeth.
"Would that assuage your pain?"
He tried to hold his temper and said stiffly, with much injured pride, "Will she ever return?"
'Put your own house in order. You have unfinished business in France, my lord."
He grudgingly held out a small shiny coin. Greediguts swooped down and stole it from his hand. In that moment Guy wondered wildly what he was doing in this witch's lair.
"I would rather have food than money, my lord."
He looked at her incredulously for her daring. "If you are hungry, eat that damned magpie!" he thundered.
Guy was sickened by his own excesses and his conscience was pricking him about his daughters. He had not left them to fend for themselves as his wife's letter accused. He had left his house and land at her full disposal with many servants inside the house and peasants to work the land. She had an ample living, but nevertheless he had abandoned the role of father, and he made up his mind to rectify the matter. As soon as the harvest was taken care of, he would travel to France and bring his children back to Godstone. His wife would be free to keep the chateau and remain in France or sell everything and go to London to William's court if she so desired, but he would not have her at Godstone.
Lillyth was lonely these days, even though Robert's gentlemen paid discreet court to her, an
d she was busy keeping them at arm's length. She had always been used to a household filled with other women, but circumstances made it impossible for her to mingle with the other ladies at Berkhamstead. She did not need Bette to explain that she must keep entirely separate from Robert's wife and her household of ladies. Lillyth knew they could not have been ignorant of her existence, but it was a thing that was hushed and hidden and not acknowledged by any lady of breeding.
Ancelin de Courcey was a frequent visitor, one she wished she saw less of. Whenever he found her alone, he tried to persuade her to join forces with him to influence Robert to seek more power in the kingdom.
"Why should Odo live like a king in London, while Mortain is left in a backwater like Berkhamstead? He is the king's brother, and while William is out of the country he should be regent. We should all be in the capital, not in this godforsaken hole."
"My Lord Courcey, you exaggerate the influence I have over Robert," Lillyth protested.
"Not so, Lillyth. Mortain is besotted with you and your pretended innocence. He hates whores. He said to me after one such encounter, 'She actually made the advances!' " He laughed. "You are that rare combination of child-woman. I can see the woman. I know for instance that you have known a raging passion with some man. Your mouth gives you away, your breasts are too full and your walk is seductive and alluring. Robert sees only the child in you, and it holds him in thrall. I am trying to get you on my side by persuasion, but I could use other methods against you, Lillyth. You underestimate my influence with Robert. For instance I can go to him and say, 'Your lady requires your presence,' or I can say, 'The lady says to tell that bastard she sleeps with to get here on the double."'
Lillyth colored at his coarse words.
"It would be a very easy thing to let Robert think you are sharing your favors with me, and that, my dear, would destroy you," he threatened.
Lillyth smiled at him to cover the fear she felt. He was very dangerous and she would have to rid herself of him!
"I will try to do as you wish. When Robert comes this evening, I will discuss going to London."
"Be subtle! Now I fear I promised Robert's brat William to go riding with him. The boy is forever hanging about me. Would to God I had the same kind of influence over his father."
Lillyth sat and coolly calculated what she would say to Robert. She debated whether she should tell him of the child first, then decided, better not. He would know it was not his, and he may not be pleased if his friends thought he was fathering a bastard. She rehearsed the things she would say to him over and over again. She must rid herself of de Courcey and it must be done swiftly.
Robert came alone, and after Bette had greeted him fondly and brought him a dish of the almond paste figurines he loved to eat, she left Lillyth alone with him. Lillyth brought some soft slippers she had embroidered for him, and he relaxed in front of the fire, sipping his wine thoughtfully.
"I see Ancelin is much in your company these days, sweet lady," he began.
She tensed. My God, what was coming?
"He is a most attractive man, do you not think so, my dearest?"
"I never noticed," she said lightly.
"My God, Lillyth, if you prefer him to me, only say so but I will not share you with him," he said desperately.
She went on her knees before him. "Sweet my lord, who has been spilling evil thoughts into your ears? I have something I must speak to you about even if it shocks you and gives you a distaste of me."
"Speak," he said coolly.
She lowered her eyes. "You know that I was married to a Saxon?"
He nodded.
"Well, he was a man who preferred men in his bed to women."
His eyes widened.
"I believe Ancelin de Courcey to be such a man. I have noticed many things, and, my lord, this is the part that really distresses me. He is in your son's company overmuch!"
He sprang up. "Splendor of God!" He clenched his fists. "It took the eyes of an innocent like you to spot such evil filth!"
She trembled with trepidation.
"I shall send him back to Normandy, but of course he won't stay there. William is returning with Matilda and his family. They will be quartered in London of course. Let him try to corrupt William's sons, if he dares."
"My lord, if he knows this information comes from me, I fear for my life!"
"Not to worry, my dearest. I will get rid of him on a pretext. He will think I am sending him on an important diplomatic mission. I know how ambitious he is. He will jump at the chance to quit this place. If you will excuse me, I will see to it immediately."
Lillyth never saw Ancelin de Courcey again.
She feared her pregnancy was becoming visible, so Lillyth knew she must tell Robert. A few days later when he came in the evening, she waited until he was relaxed and laughing, and then she broached the subject.
"Robert, I have some news that may displease you."
"Nonsense, what could you do that would displease me?" he smiled.
"I am enceinte," she said softly, and the tears threatened to spill over, down her cheeks.
"Sweetheart, don't cry. It would be marvelous news to a man my age. I wish I were the father. Any man would be pleased, not angry. Are you sure?"
"Oh yes, very sure." She smiled through her tears.
"You were with child when you left Godstone."
"Yes, though I swear I had no idea."
"I don't mind in the least if people think I am the father, Lillyth. But it may present one difficulty. You must know how William feels about these things. He is most narrow-minded, and someone is certain to run to him with the news as soon as it becomes known." He frowned deeply. "William is to return before the end of the year, but I cannot bear the thought of being separated from you. We will consider adoption for the child to a wealthy family."
Lillyth looked distressed at his words.
"Another alternative is to find you a husband, a complacent one, you understand?" He smiled kindly.
"I do not wish to marry, my lord," she begged sweetly.
"Good. I could not bear the thought myself," he laughed. He put his arms about her and hugged her to him. "Never fear, we will think of something. I'm sure William will understand.
She smiled with relief at his kindness. She fervently hoped she would not bring trouble to this man who had only ever shown her unselfishness.
Once King William had deposited his wife and family in London, he sent word to Berkhamstead that he would be coming to see how the building had progressed. His letters were cool. He also made a point of letting Robert know that de Courcey had given him every detail of life at Berkhamstead. Robert braced himself for the censure he knew would come; but he was unprepared for the depth of William's ire. He was summoned to William's presence as if he was a mere esquire.
"It is common knowledge that you have taken a Saxon leman," he said with distaste. "Rid yourself of her!"
"You can command me in all things save this one," replied Robert, flushed.
"Bones of Christ, I raised you high, I can bring you low!" William threatened.
"William, William, we are brothers. Let us not fight," Robert reasoned. "If you could just see her, you would understand my enchantment. Lord God, William, after seventeen years of marriage does your eye not seek out a beautiful young woman sometimes? If you can deny it, I will know you are inhuman."
William looked at Robert in silence. His anger evaporated, but his face was still set and hard.
"Your mother was married to our father, Robert. Mine was not. You can have no conception of the misery that is visited upon a bastard. I learned to survive. No doubt it played an important role in shaping my destiny, so determined did I become to gain men's respect for my strength. However, let me convey to you how my mother fared. She was branded whore from one end of France to the other. She will be remembered as that tanner's daughter with the stink of hides still clinging to her. I watched her shed enough tears to drown me! I learned to swim, bu
t I vowed never to father a bastard. You think to honor this woman by making her your mistress, but you only dishonor her. Send her away before the mob descends upon her like a pack of slavering wolves to tear her dignity to shreds."
It was finally decided that Lillyth would go to Mont St. Michel, where the Benedictine monks had built a spectacular Romanesque church and monastery. It was situated on a small island off the north coast of France, just out from the Normandy border.
Father Sebastian had helped build the abbey. Working with native granite, they had replaced the simple chapel that had stood there for two centuries. Father Sebastian agreed to go with her; she was also to take Bette. Robert tried to press other servants on her, but she refused.
Now that the decision had been made and the time of departure drew near, Lillyth found that she was vastly relieved.
The child filled her thoughts and she could not bear giving all her time and attention to others. Robert had been courtly, kind, even fatherly toward her, but any man who could think of giving her child away did not have a hope of holding onto Lillyth.
She just wanted a safe haven, where she could be private for the last few months of her confinement. Lillyth did not want her condition known. She did not want to give unnecessary pain to another woman; she had had too much herself for that. Her condition was quite obvious to her, and only by wearing very loose clothes could she conceal it from others. She stayed in her suite most of the time or wandered through the lovely gardens, her thoughts filled with the new life within her. She knew in her heart that she would never return. Where she would go or what she would do remained a blank that she did not wish to concentrate on for the present, and she was most thankful that she would have a couple of months of blissful peace in which to make her plans.