Thankfully, the waitress taking their order succeeded in changing the topic of conversation, yet Lily had a hard time getting her temper back under control. She couldn’t understand why her temper was flaring lately when she had always been so calm and never let anyone bother her before. Usually, she was an extreme pacifist; however, it had hurt something deep inside of her to see that wounded look on Willa’s face. She hadn’t been able to stand back and let Georgia get away with hurting the kind-hearted woman.
She took a sip of her iced tea, her fingertips rubbing her temple after she placed the glass back down, and caught sight of the rubber band on her wrist. She was becoming less and less dependent on it since she had begun staying with The Last Riders. Lily was happy she needed it less frequently, but wondered if it was because she was becoming more confident in herself or because of the sense of safety The Last Riders provided.
The food arrived hot, yet Lily just picked at her salad. Shade and Razer had both gotten burgers and fries while Bliss and Raci had both ordered breakfasts, though they were complaining that the men’s food looked better. As Bliss reached onto Shade’s plate, taking a French fry, Lily took a bite of food, ignoring Bliss.
“How much longer before the church store will be able to open?” Beth questioned.
“A few weeks. Not only are Rachel and I sorting through everyone’s recent donations but also years of clutter. We’ve boxed things up for Pastor Dean to decide whether to throw them away or store them.”
“Dad was a closet hoarder—he saved everything—and I’m sure Pastor Dean didn’t want to throw things away immediately,” Beth said.
“Dad saved every sermon he ever wrote. I expected to find all the video tapes he recorded, but I haven’t come across them yet. I was looking forward to destroying them,” Lily commented.
“I’m sure you’ll come across them before you’re finished.” Beth’s lips tightened as Bliss took another French fry from Razer’s plate. She then turned her attention back to Lily. “If you find them, let me know. I want to help you burn them.”
Lily smiled ruefully. “I’m sure there will be enough for both of us. How’s Mrs. Langley?”
“She’s having a harder time recuperating than I had hoped. I’m going to stay with her for the rest of the week. Razer and I are staying in her guest room. Logan and Holly have both moved in with his father so that she can get plenty of rest.
“Are you sure you don’t need me to sit with her during the day or night to give you a break?” Lily offered.
“No, I have it covered. I don’t want to have to worry about your safety and I know at the clubhouse you’re protected. Have you managed to get any school work done?”
“I’m going to make a start on it tonight.”
“Let me know if you need anything. We should be getting back. Holly sat with her so we could go to church.” They stood up from the table as everyone finished. Lily hugged her sister and brother-in-law goodbye.
As they also headed out of the diner, she started to go back to Evie’s car, but Shade caught her hand as she passed his bike. Not feeling like arguing, she climbed on the back, tucking her dress around her so it wouldn’t blow up as they rode.
It didn’t take long for them to get back to the clubhouse. Once there, Shade let her use his computer as he worked out so that she could get caught up on her schoolwork, which took her a couple of hours to complete.
She hadn’t been paying attention when Shade had come into the room and gone into the shower, but she found her attention wandering as he reentered the room shirtless.
“Hungry?”
“A little, but I want to finish this.”
“Go ahead and finish. I’ll bring you a plate.”
“Sounds good, thanks,” Lily said absently.
Shade left the room and Lily continued working. She was almost done when he returned, setting the plate down in front of her. When he did, she smelled the faint scent of perfume on him as he leaned close to her. Lily’s concentration was broken, and she had to force herself to finish the work.
“Is the television distracting you?” Shade asked when she gave a frustrated sigh at a stupid mistake she had caught when she was rechecking her work.
“No.” She hadn’t even realized he had turned it on; her mind had been so unfocused.
Eating her food, she ignored Shade. The food was good, but again, she had no appetite. If she didn’t begin feeling more like herself, she was going to have to see a doctor. Maybe she was getting an ulcer or becoming allergic to certain foods? She couldn’t understand why she had lost her healthy appetite. Shrugging it off once more, she told herself it was only worry from the unknown identity of the person watching her.
She stood up, grabbing her plate from the desk. “Do you need anything while I’m upstairs?”
“A beer would be great.” Lily wanted to refuse, yet he had been nice enough to bring her dinner; she didn’t want to come across as petty. She was so tempted to snap at him that whoever’s perfume he was wearing could bring him his darn beer, though.
Going upstairs, she opened the door to the kitchen and went inside. No one was in there, so Lily placed her plate in the sink and was about to rinse it off when a noise from the television room had her head turning in that direction. The unobstructed view let her see exactly what had made the soft noise.
Bliss was riding Train’s cock, sliding up and down. Train hadn’t paid attention to her in the kitchen, but Bliss had—her eyes were on Lily as Train suckled her breast—she was watching Lily for her reaction.
Lily bolted back downstairs, making sure her eyes didn’t return to the two on the couch.
“Where my beer?” Shade asked when she returned empty-handed.
“I forgot it.” Lily, a second too late, realized she had forgotten to get him the beer he requested.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Lily said, grabbing her pajamas and then disappearing into the bedroom. She took her time trying to wash away the memory of what she had seen.
When she went back out to the bedroom, the first thing she noticed was Shade drinking his beer.
“It’s a little early to go to bed, isn’t it?”
“I have a headache. I guess it’s from staring at the computer screen.”
“Possibly. Will the television disturb you?”
“No.” Lily was about to climb into bed but stopped herself, going instead to Shade.
“You need to let me go. I’m never going to fit into this club.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You know why.” She waved her hand at the beer. “Bliss doesn’t try to hide that you both have shared a relationship. She doesn’t want me here. She belongs here, I don’t.”
“You will.”
“No, Shade, I won’t. You’re only going to hurt everyone involved. I’m never going to adjust to your lifestyle. You’re not a one-woman man.”
“I already am,” Shade said softly.
Lily wanted to kick the stubborn man. “Don’t claim I’m the woman for you when you smell like another woman’s perfume.”
“I smell like perfume?” Shade asked, not trying to hide his amusement.
“Yes,” Lily said angrily.
“That’s because Winter hugged me when I told her I would pay for the computers for her school.”
“Well… heck.” She was going to have to apologize. She felt terrible he had done something so nice and she was jumping on his case. She felt ashamed. She was no better than Georgia.
“I’m sorry,” Lily apologized and meant it.
“You were awfully harsh to me, don’t you think? I mean, I was nice enough to fix your dinner and bring it to you, and then you forgot my beer. Then you rant at me about other women. I’m beginning to think you’re jealous. I never took you for the jealous type.”
“I’m not jealous,” Lily snapped.
“I believe you are, and I don’t believe you’re sorry. Do you know how much those computers are going to cost me???
? Shade tried to appear affronted.
It isn’t a good look for him, Lily thought. The man didn’t have a humble bone in his awesome body. Lily nodded her head. That didn’t mean she had been wrong to jump to conclusions, though. “I am not jealous and I apologized.”
“I don’t believe you.” Shade gave her a reproachful look, which did make her feel bad.
“I really do.”
“Prove it.”
“How?”
“Kiss me and make it better.”
“No.” Lily shook her head.
“I knew you didn’t mean your apology,” Shade said, turning back to the television.
“I did—I do,” Lily corrected herself. “But I’m still not going to kiss you.”
“Why? You’ve kissed before, haven’t you?”
Lily didn’t say anything.
“Lily, have you kissed before?” His surprised eyes stared into her embarrassed ones.
“No,” Lily admitted.
“What about Charles?”
“Just on the cheek or a brief peck on the lips. I guess I could do that,” she said unenthusiastically.
“Don’t knock yourself out. I’ve been told I’m a good kisser. I could teach you how,” Shade offered, this time trying to appear innocent. Another not so good look for him.
“I bet you could,” she said sarcastically. Then, before she could help herself, she asked, “Who told you you’re a good kisser?”
“I don’t kiss and tell,” he said, grinning at her wickedly. Now that look worked for him.
Lily gritted her teeth in aggravation.
“Come on, Lily. What’s a little kiss between friends?” He rose to his feet and put his hands behind his back. “I won’t touch you with anything other than my mouth. You can experiment and see how you like kissing.”
Lily froze, tempted. She had never been kissed. She had been too afraid Charles wouldn’t stop when she wanted him to. Shade was more experienced and older. A simple kiss wouldn’t make him lose control, and she had no doubts he would stop when she wanted him to.
He was sinfully good looking, trying to appear like a mild-mannered sheep; however, she was well aware that she was in the room with a cunning wolf.
Lily took a timid step forward. Shade didn’t say anything, appearing bored. It took several seconds for her to take another step. Shade never became impatient as she steadily drew closer until a mere inch separated them.
She looked up into his cerulean blue eyes, feeling as if she was drowning in their clear depths. She cautiously raised herself onto her tiptoes and then her mouth briefly touched his before breaking away and taking a step back.
Like a moth to a flame, she fluttered closer again. This time, her hands rested on his chest as she touched her mouth to his, letting hers linger a mere breath of a second before leaning back to study his face. The impassiveness of his expression had her leaning forward again, pressing harder against his mouth before she lifted herself away, but she didn’t move away from his body this time. Her tongue licked her lips faintly, tasting him on her mouth. Her lashes lowered as she looked at the sensuous mouth he was letting her play with. She pressed her lips harder against his mouth until he opened to her slightly.
Lily jumped away.
“That’s enough for tonight. You’re not a fast learner. It may take weeks for you to catch on to how it’s done.” He stepped away, going back to his chair.
Lily felt frustrated, wanting to keep kissing him, but his attention had already been redirected to the television.
She turned away, going to the bed and sliding down underneath the covers. She then rolled onto her side, repeatedly thumping her pillow. She thought she heard Shade laughing, but when she jerked her head around, his attention was concentrated on the television screen.
He was probably regretting his decision to teach her how to kiss. His breathing hadn’t even changed. He had all but fallen asleep.
One thing was for certain: if he was going to teach her to kiss, the man was going to have to show more interest than if he was getting a dental exam.
* * *
Shade gritted his teeth trying to get his body back under control, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the television screen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hitting her pillow in frustration. His hands clenched by his side. The woman didn’t know the meaning of frustration, but he was about to show her if she threw him another one of her pissed-off looks.
He was trying to go slow, not frighten her away, but even he had his limits. That innocent kiss he had gotten from her had nearly been his undoing.
When he was sure she was asleep he got up, leaving the room. He didn’t trust himself to climb into bed with her now. He had to calm his body down.
Going upstairs, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a generous amount. His wall of patience was crumbling. It was time to heat up his efforts with Lily. He didn’t think it was fair he was the only one suffering. Lily needed to discover exactly what she was missing out on, which was him fucking her until she begged him for mercy.
Shade poured himself another whiskey, This time his hand shook as he picked up his glass.
* * *
Lily woke the next morning to an empty bed. She showered and dressed for work and was going out the bedroom door when Shade entered the room. His eyes were bloodshot. Lily took a step back from the stench of alcohol.
When she had fallen asleep, he had still been watching television. The way he looked now made it apparent he had been up all night drinking.
“You’ve been drinking!” she said accusingly.
“Don’t worry; I’m not drunk.” She paled at his words, flinching away as he brushed by her.
“Aren’t you going to work?”
“I’m taking the morning off. Rider is managing the factory until this afternoon.”
Shade went to the side of the bed, taking his shoes and t-shirt off. He started to take his pants off, obviously expecting her to leave the room so he could finish undressing. Lily didn’t leave, unsure why.
“Um… you must have started drinking after I went to sleep.” She didn’t know why she was pushing the issue.
Shade cocked an eyebrow at her question. “Yes, I went upstairs for another beer and Cash and Rider were having a card game, so I joined in. I wasn’t ready for bed as early as you.”
Lily fiddled with the rubber band on her wrist. “I didn’t expect you to be. I guess I’ll see you this afternoon.” She started out the doorway but turned at his next words.
“It was just us; none of the women were there.”
Relief flooded through her tense body.
“I didn’t ask.”
“You didn’t have to,” Shade mocked.
Lily fled out the door without bothering with breakfast, going straight to the factory. A few of the other workers were slowly trickling in. Georgia was already there, talking to Rider who didn’t look in much better shape than Shade. She figured he was the one who’d lost the card game.
Lily pulled a work order and got busy filling it. She worked rapidly throughout the morning, her mind kept occupied on filling orders, distracting herself from dwelling on the kisses she had shared with Shade the night before.
She touched her fingertip to her mouth, remembering the feel of his lips against hers before catching herself. She pulled another order, not even stopping for lunch.
When Shade came in that afternoon, Rider looked like he was going to be sick as he headed out.
Shade went inside his office, ignoring Georgia who was trailing after him and shutting the door in her face. Lily’s mouth twitched in amusement and Georgia saw it, giving her a vindictive glare.
Lily sucked in a sharp breath. The woman had never made a pretense of liking her, but the hatred she didn’t try to conceal in that moment concerned Lily.
Georgia walked toward her, coming to a stop at the table where she was working. “You think you’re hot shit, don’t you? Well, let me tell you something. I
don’t give a fuck how pretty you are, when Shade gets tired of fucking you, you’ll be just another worker like every other woman he’s laid.”
“Georgia, I haven’t done a thing to deserve—”
The hateful woman cut her off. “You want to know why I can’t stand you, Lily?”
Lily stiffened her shoulders. “Go ahead.”
“Don’t worry, I will. You pretend to be this helpless little girl so everyone takes care of you. You think that because you’re pretty everyone should jump through hoops to keep you happy.”
“That’s not true.” Lily tried not to let Georgia see how her cruel words hurt.
“It is true. I have two kids to support; I need this job. Every one of the workers here needs this job except you. You don’t need it and you’re taking it from someone who does. My brother was supposed to be the next one hired when a position opened. He’s been laid off from the mines for a year and has three kids and a mortgage. I bet you don’t even have a car payment for that fancy vehicle you drive.”
Lily paled. Her words brought back Beth’s words from the summer when Lily had first asked for a summer job, that it was unnecessary for her to work since Beth herself provided her with money. It was only after she had been hurt that the job at the factory had been offered.
She felt terrible, understanding Georgia’s predicament at wanting her brother to have a job he desperately needed. To then have to see Lily daily was understandably difficult.
“I’m sorry,” Lily said, miserable that a family was doing without because of her selfish desire for a job.
“I don’t need or want your pity, just stay out of my way. When you get bored with this job, my brother will get hired and I won’t have to see your sanctimonious face anymore.” Having said her piece, Georgia turned, giving Lily her back.
Lily went back to work, thinking on the altercation. If she mentioned this to Beth or Razer, she had no doubt after Razer’s warning that the woman would be fired. Lily didn’t want to be responsible for more kids losing their breadwinner.
Coming to a decision, she went to Shade’s office. She was going to get Georgia’s brother the job he needed. All she had to do was quit.