Chapter 21
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Lily stuck her head in the door after knocking briefly.
“Come in.” Shade was sitting at his desk going through papers. Lily came inside, closing the door as Shade laid the papers down and leaned back in his chair.
“I want to quit.”
“Why?”
Lily didn’t want to lie, however she didn’t want to tell the truth and get Georgia in trouble either.
“Well?” Shade asked after several minutes of continued silence.
“Give me a minute, I’m thinking.”
“Shouldn’t you have done that before you came in here?” Shade asked, studying her closely.
“You’re right. I’ll be back later.” Lily turned to go.
Shade sighed in frustration. “What’s up, Lily?”
“I don’t think it’s fair that I take a job from someone who needs it,” she blurted out.
“I see. And who needs a job?”
Lily waved her hand evasively. “Most of the town are unemployed.”
“That’s true. Do you have someone in particular in mind for your job, though?”
When Lily remained silent, Shade gave a long suffering sigh, getting to his feet and going to the cabinet, opening a drawer. Pulling out a green folder, he opened it as he moved to sit on the corner of his desk, reading it silently. It didn’t take long before he closed it and then laid it on his desk.
“Come here.”
Lily didn’t want to move closer, but her feet carried her near to him anyway.
“What did Georgia say to you?” he asked, reaching out to twine a lock of her dark hair around a long finger.
Lily sighed; she wouldn’t evade a direct question, and Shade knew that. “That her brother needed a job because he has three kids and a mortgage.”
“Is that all? That’s a big guilt trip.”
“Not if it’s true. I have some money saved up until I graduate. I don’t need spending money. I can wait on the new clothes I was going to buy. I don’t have any bills and he needs the job.”
“You’re right; he is the next to be hired. I’ll give him a call and tell him to come in.”
“Thank you.” Lily was going to miss her job. She had been pleasantly surprised by how much she’d liked it.
“Send Georgia to my office,” Shade said, releasing her hair.
Lily stopped. “Why?”
“Because she stepped over the line. Razer warned her about that yesterday.”
“But…” Georgia had kids also. She didn’t want them to have an unemployed mother.
The hard look on Shade’s face had her mouth snapping shut.
“The reason we didn’t hire her brother was because we didn’t want two family members working together, especially not those two, not because you were hired. They both have attitudes, and working together wouldn’t be conducive to a cohesive work environment, but since I plan on firing Georgia, that will no longer be an issue.”
“I didn’t take anyone’s job?” Lily asked in relief.
“No. You’re a fill-in for days when Bliss wants to sleep late, or Raci wants to go shopping, or Jewell won’t get her ass out of bed, or any one of the many reasons they give me. It gives them time off without worrying about getting our orders out.”
“Oh.” Lily was relieved she hadn’t kept someone from a salary they needed.
“Send Georgia in,” Shade repeated.
“I don’t want you to fire her.”
“Why? If the tables were turned, she wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“What does then?” he asked gently.
“I don’t want her to hate me,” Lily admitted.
Shade’s hands reached out, circling her waist before drawing her near until she stood between his thighs. “Sweetheart, it’s already too late for that.”
“I know,” Lily said miserably.
“Lily, you’re too kind for your own good. You take everything to heart that anyone says, and you feel compassion for every living thing. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you don’t stop.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
Lily shrugged, her hands going to his arms. “I guess I like to be needed.”
“I need you.”
Lily blushed, shaking her head. “You don’t need me; you want me. There’s a difference.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“Yes, there is.” Lily pulled away. “Razer found out the difference when he broke up with Beth. One lasts, the other is temporary. You’ll change your mind about me. I see how comfortable the women are with you. You’re used to having relationships and remaining friends. I couldn’t be with someone then watch them be with someone else. I certainly couldn’t remain friends and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Beth and Razer were both willing to change. Neither of us can change who we are, Shade,” Lily said sadly, going to the door. “Please don’t fire Georgia. I should have left things alone.”
Lily left his office, going back to work without telling Georgia that Shade wanted to see her.
At the end of the day, when the other workers left, Lily didn’t linger, leaving before Shade was ready.
She changed into her workout clothes, deciding to stretch then do weight training. Shade came in, going to the bedroom, and she ignored him. Not long after he had come through, the upstairs door opened and Bliss came downstairs holding a laundry basket with Rider carrying another behind her.
Shade returned and began working out as the other two sorted clothes then sat on the couch as the clothes washed. Lily felt self-conscious as the two talked. Every so often, she could sense their eyes on her when she changed positions. She was glad she had worn the most conservative of her workout clothes.
“That’s enough for the day,” Shade said, halting her when she would have continued.
Without acknowledging him, Lily went into the bedroom to shower and change for dinner. By the time she was done, she had thought Shade would have come in to get changed, but he hadn’t appeared.
Lily left the bedroom, deciding to go upstairs to see if they needed any help with dinner. She walked back into the gym and Shade was still talking to Bliss and Rider as they put clothes in the dryer. Lily felt their conversation cut off as she entered the room. She didn’t know how Shade could miss that she didn’t fit in with their group when they wouldn’t even continue a discussion with her in the room.
As she got to the kitchen, dinner was all ready, but Lily wasn’t hungry. Going to the fridge, she grabbed a bottled water and then went outside the kitchen door, wanting a breath of fresh air.
After being in the factory all day then working out, she wanted to feel the sun on her the few minutes she had until it became dark.
She walked to the patio but didn’t want to sit down, so she walked forward onto the grass, her feet unconsciously taking her closer to the house of Beth and Razer.
She had never been inside it before; Beth had never invited her. She drew closer and saw it was beautifully surrounded by the forest while Shade’s house behind and higher had a view of the whole compound.
She and Beth had talked about her house when they had drawn the plans. She remembered Beth saying she had wanted a small front porch, more like a cottage. Lily had told her a wraparound porch would give her a better view of the mountain. She had tried to talk her into a bay window like Shade’s had, yet Beth had wanted two smaller ones, saying it would be much warmer in the winter. Beth wanted her house to be an extension of Razer’s and her love for each other, and she had succeeded.
Lily walked up the short flight of steps to Shade’s house. She sat down on the top step and looked out at the view. It was breathtaking. She remained there until the sun went down.
Darkness had always been her enemy, but she didn’t feel afraid as she sat there in the dwindling daylight. She felt a tear slide down her cheek, not knowing why. Thinking on it, she realized she had ne
ver fit in anywhere; not with Beth’s family, not college, and now not there at the clubhouse. It was like always being a guest in someone else’s home and never having one of her own.
The beauty of the mountains had always comforted her and moments like this were very profound to Lily; she was grateful God had created such beauty. It soothed something torn and broken inside of her that she didn’t know how to fix.
Right then, gazing out at the mountains—for that fraction of a moment—she felt like she belonged.
Reluctantly, Lily got to her feet and returned to the clubhouse. She heard music as she went down the basement steps, and when she got to the bottom step, she saw Raci and Cash dancing by the pole, Rider and Bliss kissing on the couch, and Shade sitting next to them as he watched Raci and Cash with a beer in one hand.
Raci was dancing seductively, grinding her butt back onto Cash’s pelvis. His arms were on the pole, trapping her between his arms.
Lily took a shuddering breath and tried to rush through the basement to Shade’s bedroom, but as she passed he reached out, snagging her wrist and pulling her down on the couch next to him. She started to protest, but his low words forestalled her.
“You can sit out here with me or you can run and hide in the bedroom, wondering what I’m doing out here with them.”
“I don’t care what you’re doing,” Lily snapped.
Shade straightened away from her. “Then run away.” He lifted his beer to his mouth, leaning back against the couch.
Rider was sitting with Bliss on his lap, his hand under her t-shirt, the tanned expanse of her stomach showing.
Lily almost got up and ran into the bedroom, not wanting to witness anymore, but no one was really paying any attention to her.
Cash’s hand went to the waistband of Raci’s short skirt, his fingers sliding underneath.
Lily tensed, turning her head away to see Rider’s mouth sucking on the flesh of Bliss’s neck while his hand had slid further up her top.
Lily tensed, ready to fly off the couch.
“Look at their faces, Lily.” Shade’s words had her eyes flying up to his.
He was leaning closer to her, his chest just brushing against hers. Her breasts tightened and her breathing accelerated. This went against everything she believed in, to sit there as the two couples made out in front of her, but the look Shade was giving her held her in place.
Lily turned her head, her eyes going to Raci as Cash’s hand had now completely disappeared under her shirt.
“Does she look frightened?” Shade asked.
Lily’s eyes lifted to Raci’s face. The woman wasn’t scared; her face showed her excitement as her hips wiggled back against Cash and her head fell back against his shoulder.
Her eyes moved away, going back to Bliss whose breasts were now uncovered, Rider was twisting her nipple. She saw her tattoo with four daisies and a date in the middle. Lily remembered Shade telling her that the women got tattoos after they got a vote from the last member. She looked closer at the daisies, realizing that it was formed into a chain. Lily wasn’t so innocent that she didn’t realize the significance. She paled as her mind went through The Last Rider members, which of them were the ones that had sex with Bliss the day she had earned her tattoo.
Lily tried to get up, but Shade’s body had her sinking further back into the couch cushions.
“You understand that tattoo, don’t you?”
“You disgust me,” Lily spat.
“You’re not even going to ask me if one of those daisies is me?” Shade mocked.
“I don’t have to.” Lily tried to turn away, but was pinned in place, her hand covering the flesh over her heart.
Shade moved her hand away, his replacing it. “I was, and Winter wasn’t any happier to find out Viper was, too. Evie and Cash were the other two.” His hand rubbed against the flesh his hand covered as if he knew the stabbing pain his words elicited. “Bliss likes to show off so it was a matter of time before you saw it, now that you’re living here.”
“For now.” Lily was more determined than ever to find a way to save Beth’s house and find an escape for herself. No wonder her juvenile kisses hadn’t excited him.
Raci’s moans drew her attention. Cash picked the woman up, throwing her over his shoulder before carrying her up the steps.
“I’m not stopping you; you can leave anytime, Lily. I’m sure Beth won’t be heartbroken for long. On the other hand, you could start enjoying living here. Look at Bliss. I don’t think there’s any place else she wants to be.”
Rider’s hand was no longer under her shirt; it was now under her skirt, which had ridden up to show the woman wore no underwear. He was rubbing her between her splayed thighs. Her hand had gone into his jeans as she unzipped them. Lily thought she might black out from watching them until Shade placed his mouth against her throat.
“See how wet she is. She isn’t afraid to let him touch her. She’s enjoying every minute of it.” One of Rider’s fingers slipped inside of Bliss and the woman moaned. “She loves to fuck.”
Shade stared at Lily as he ordered, “Give her another finger, Rider.”
Lily watched helplessly as Rider followed Shade’s directions. Bliss moaned louder when Rider’s two fingers glided in and out of the woman’s slippery sheathe. “See. She’s enjoying his fingers in her pussy,” he said as his mouth whispered against the shell of her ear before he pulled away and directed to Rider, “Rub her clit harder, Rider. She enjoys a little pain.”
Lily’s own thighs pressed together.
“Shade…” Bliss moaned
“Let her come, Rider.”
Lily tried to tear her eyes away as Rider’s fingers stroked even faster and Bliss raised her hips before plunging herself down on his hand. Her small scream had Lily jumping up from the couch, unable to watch any longer.
“Run, Lily. It’s not going to change the fact that you’re mine. And the next time a woman moans my name, it will be you.”
Lily took his advice, running from the room and the look of dark desire in his eyes, aware she was escaping because he let her.
* * *
The next morning, she dressed in the bathroom then went back into the bedroom where Shade was still getting dressed. The silence between them was uncomfortable. She had gone to bed early the night before and had left Shade in the other room, her mind tortured with thoughts of him touching Bliss after she had run from the room.
“Do you mind if I take the day off? I have a few things I need to take care of today.” Her cold voice drew his warning gaze. She couldn’t bear to be near him in the factory today; she needed a respite to get her body and thoughts back under control.
“No, go ahead.”
“Thanks.” This time she was smart enough not to let her own feelings show.
Lily left him getting dressed, going upstairs where she poured herself a cup of coffee. Most of the members were rushing around to get to work on time.
Winter rushed in, pouring some coffee into a huge mug she carried to work.
“What are you doing today? You usually beat me out the door,” she asked, pausing in her rush.
“I took the day off. I have a few things I need to get caught up on.”
“That will be good for you. You haven’t taken some time for yourself in a while.”
Lily nodded.
She felt Winter’s gaze as she sat down next to her at the table. “I remember when you went to high school.”
Lily looked back at Winter and smiled. “I do, too. You were new and all the kids were giving you a hard time because you looked as young as they did.”
Winter shuddered. “Don’t remind me. I’m still amazed I made it through that first month. But you made it more bearable for me. I’m here if you need me, Lily.”
“Okay.”
“When I first came here, I wanted to be here even less than you do,” Winter told her.
“That bad?”
Winter nodded her head. “I tried to escape seve
ral times.”
“Really?” Lily was shocked. She hadn’t known. She remembered back to when Winter had first moved into the clubhouse after her attack.
“Really. I was miserable, and I was jealous as hell of the women and Viper’s relationship with them. It was an adjustment, but I have really come to care about all the members. We’re a family and I love Viper. We all just fit together.”
“I can tell.” Lily tried to keep the envy out of her voice.
“That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for you,” Winter said softly, reaching out to touch her hand.
Lily looked down, swallowing hard. “The problem is, there’s room for too many women in this house.”
Winter laughed. “That’s very true, but there’s only one Lily.” Winter got to her feet and Lily looked up at her. “Give it a chance. You may find a part of yourself that you didn’t know existed. I did.”
That was what Lily was afraid of.
After Winter left, she cleaned the kitchen before going downstairs. Bliss and Rider had washed and dried the clothes, but they had left them sitting around. She quickly folded them before washing and drying her and Shade’s clothes. She then cleaned the whole downstairs as she did the laundry.
She loved cleaning, unlike most people, and had changed into a pair of loose sweats as she worked. She had the flat screen on as she was folding the last of the clothes. She had gone upstairs earlier, started a huge pot of chili and had made cornbread, which was sitting on the counter cooling.
She was tired, but she felt better than she had in a long while. She had enjoyed having the house to herself for most of the day. She was used to being on her own. Living with so many people was an adjustment and having the house to herself had been relaxing.
The television had been on a cable news show, and as she was only watching it while she folded the clothes, she hadn’t bothered to change the channel. Now she was done, Lily watched as the story of a felony trial beginning unfolded on the screen.
What had made the story take the national spotlight was that the man involved was a crime lord who had been trafficking women. The camera panned the surrounding crowd.