Lily’s head burst with pain and her breath started catching with an oncoming panic attack.
Lily managed to get to her feet, instinct driving her as whimpers tore through her throat. Her mind felt consumed by pain. Flinging open the basement door, Lily ran outside barefoot and down the path toward the factory.
It was the end of the day and the parking lot was emptying of cars as Lily flew down the path, half-blinded by the pain.
She managed to spot Shade and Rider standing by the door, both of them staring at her in shocked surprise, and Lily went right to Shade as he started to move to her. He held out his arms and Lily threw herself into them, clutching him tightly and shaking. She tried to burrow into him as tightly as she could, desperate for the pain to go away.
“What’s wrong?” He held her to him tightly, giving her the security she needed.
“I don’t know.” Lily cried, needing to be closer to his warmth.
“Couldn’t you get hold of Beth?” he asked.
“What? I didn’t try,” she said, trembling harder.
“You didn’t try to call Beth? You came to me first?” Shade’s hand smoothed her tumbled hair away from her face.
Lily nodded her head against his shoulder, whimpering. “My head hurts,” she moaned.
Shade lifted her up into his arms, handing Rider a clipboard. He then carried her back to the house, closing the door she had left open in her terror. In the bedroom, he sat down with her on the bed. Lily curled into the safety of his arms, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I think I’m losing my mind,” Lily confessed.
“No, you’re not.” Shade’s hand rubbed the back of her neck, easing the tension from her shoulders. “Lily, your attacks are coming less, but they’re becoming stronger. I think your mind is trying to tell you that you’re strong enough to remember.”
Lily jerked upright, her hands going to the sides of her head.
Shade’s hands went to her wrists. “Look at me, Lily.” Her violet eyes lifted to his. “Look at me,” Shade repeated his words.
She stared at him mutely, trying to tear her eyes away from his but unable to do so. Giving in, she sank into his blue gaze, really seeing him for the first time: a man who wasn’t afraid of anything—who was strong, skilled and patient.
“What’s in here can’t hurt you anymore.” Shade’s finger tapped the side of her head. “The world around you,” his hand circled the air around her body, “I’ve got that.” His hands went back to her hands, holding them in his. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
Lily heard the truth in his voice and saw it in his eyes.
She had once played a game in school where the teachers had lined the students up into two lines, one facing forward while the other line stood backward. The teacher had told them to fall backwards and trust the person behind them to catch them. She had excused herself to go to the office, getting out of the exercise because she had known that she didn’t trust anyone that blindly, which was what Shade was asking of her now.
To fall, knowing that he would catch her. Even with Beth, she had never accomplished that.
Chapter 22
Lily was putting the dishes in the dishwasher when Beth and Winter came in the kitchen after dinner. The whole house was a hub of activity as they prepared for the Halloween party.
The week had gone by fast. The members were filled with anticipation. Even Beth had the night off from caring for Mrs. Langley. Lily had dreaded tonight, though.
“I didn’t think Holly would ever get there.” Beth carried two bags in that she laid down.
Lily dried her hands, coming to her sister’s side. “What did you decide to be?”
“A hippie.” She lifted her outfit with the bright fuchsia shirt and yellow shorts out of the garment bag. Lily admired the colorful outfit, thinking it suited Beth’s sunny disposition.
Winter had already told her that she was going to be Little Red Riding Hood. As a matter of fact, all of the women had shared which costume each was planning on wearing. Lily could tell they were planning on having fun that night.
“I picked this up for you.” Beth raised the other garment bag and began unzipping it.
“I’m not going to the party,” Lily protested.
“We all talked about it and decided you’re not going to miss out on all the fun. The downstairs will have a smaller party with just a few of us and we all promised to behave. Then, later, we can go upstairs. Come on, Lily.”
Beth opened the garment bag, showing a gypsy outfit in bright purples and blues. It was very pretty. The top had long sleeves and the skirt would flow to her ankles.
Beth had managed to allay all her protests, so she saw no reason not to participate. “As long as you promise that, when you get bored, you’ll go back upstairs.”
“No problem.” Winter and Beth both laughed.
“Cool.” The women banded together, taking several snacks downstairs to set around the couch area.
“After I get showered and changed, I’ll bring the drinks down. You can tell Shade to put some music on the sound system while we get ready,” Beth told her.
“Okay.”
Winter and Beth went upstairs to get changed. The music had already been turned on upstairs, and from the amount of voices filtering down, the party had already begun. Shade and Rider were both still at the factory loading a truck.
Lily showered and dressed with the beginning of excitement curling in her stomach at the party and how they were willing to share some of their fun so she could participate.
She was brushing her hair out in the bedroom when Shade walked in.
She twirled her skirt around her legs, showing off her outfit. Her black hair was long and loose, and Beth had included several chunky necklaces for her to put on.
“You look great. What are you supposed to be?”
“A gypsy.”
“How is it any different than what you usually wear? You should have at least been adventuresome enough to raise the hemline above your ankles,” he said, taking a change of clothes out of a drawer.
Lily looked down at herself.
Shade walked to her, cupping her cheek. “You look gorgeous. Who got it for you?”
“Beth,” Lily said, twirling away.
Shade looked at her dress closely. “Remind me to thank her.”
“Why?”
Shade just shook his head, going into the bathroom. “Never mind. I won’t be long.”
Lily shrugged his words off, going into the other room. Winter, Beth and Evie were already there, sitting around and munching on snacks while Viper and Razer were talking and drinking beers. Lily didn’t let the beer bother her anymore. She had learned they could handle it, and the sight of the bottles no longer made her frightened.
Beth choked on a pretzel when she saw her before Winter and her both shared a glance.
“What’s wrong?” Lily asked.
“Nothing. You look great,” Beth assured her, jerking her wrist until she sat down next to her on the couch.
Viper went to the sound system, turning on the music. Someone had taken up the mats, leaving the area clear for dancing. Viper took Winter’s hand, moving her toward the dance floor.
“Knox and Diamond wanted to come tonight, but he has to be on duty,” Beth explained before Razer sat down next to her, pulling her on his lap.
Shade came in, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch.
“How was Georgia this week?” Beth asked, putting her arm around Razer’s shoulder.
“Fine.” Lily didn’t mention what had happened Monday. Shade had talked to the woman that afternoon, and since then, she had given Lily a wide berth. Lily still felt guilty over Georgia’s brother, however at least she knew she wasn’t responsible for his not having a job at the factory.
“Lily, would you mind getting me a beer?” Shade requested.
Lily happily got up from the couch to go to the table the beer had been set up at and got him a beer. He
never asked her to do anything for him, so she didn’t mind doing so now.
When she handed it to him, and would have gone back to her side of the couch, Shade reached up and pulled her down on his lap. Lily tried to wiggle off, embarrassed. She had never sat on his lap before—unless she had been upset—and Beth was just a few inches away, staring at her in amusement.
“Sit still,” Shade ordered. Lily quit wiggling, sitting stiffly on his lap. Shade ignored her stiff posture, resuming his conversation with Razer about the production of one of the tools that was selling well.
“The only way to increase production is to go with another manufacturer,” Razer said.
“How is the store coming along?” Beth asked, growing tired of the guys’ shop talk.
“Good. Now that Rachel and I are working on it an extra day, we’re hoping to open it in a couple of weeks. We talked to Pastor Dean; he’s going to start searching for someone to manage it for the church.”
“It’s going to be hard to find someone who will give it the commitment it needs without pay,” Beth remarked.
“I don’t know why. Think of how much good it’s going to do. The items are going to be free. I suggested he do it based on income to those in need to keep out those that would take advantage of the generosity of the church.”
“I agree, so it needs to be someone familiar with the community. That way, they won’t be too embarrassed to ask for what they need. A lot of the people who will need the store won’t even use it because their pride will stand in the way.”
Lily nodded in agreement. “They’ll have to be completely trustworthy, also. You wouldn’t believe some of the items donated. Rachel found a diamond ring and I found cash in several pockets. We always check if we know where the items come from to make sure that it wasn’t a mistake. Mrs. Graver’s ring had fallen off when she had bagged the clothes.”
“I didn’t think of that.”
“We were glad we found it for her.” Lily unconsciously relaxed back against Shade as they talked, enjoying the warmth of him at her back.
It wasn’t long before Train and Jewell came downstairs and started dancing alongside Viper and Winter. Train wasn’t wearing a shirt, but he had on a bandana over his hair and a patch over one eye. Jewell was wearing a pirate wench outfit, which left most of her breasts bare, and the short skirt showed the long length of her shapely legs.
As the song changed, Razer got to his feet. “Let’s dance.” With that, Beth and Razer joined the couples dancing.
Halfway through the song, Evie came downstairs dressed as a French maid with Cash dressed as himself.
Lily laughed, looking into Shade’s eyes. “Train is the only one who dressed up?”
Shade shook his head. “Rider dressed as Tarzan, but I threatened to kick his ass if he came down here.”
Lily’s giggles were cut off as Shade got up, setting Lily on her feet before taking her to the dance floor. She tried to get away, but he snagged her around the waist, pulling her close.
“Dance with me, Lily.”
“I don’t know how,” she protested.
“That’s okay. They don’t either.” Shade pointed his hand at Evie and Cash.
Lily watched the others. They were all just having a good time. They had come down here to make her feel more comfortable while, even over the music, she could hear the sounds of the others partying upstairs.
She began moving, trying not to feel self-conscious about her awkwardness. By the third dance, she was relaxed and moving much more comfortably. The other members came and went, moving back and forth between the two floors, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves.
Shade had pulled her closer and someone had turned off a couple of the lamps, dimming the room without making it too dark. Beth, Razer, Winter and Viper had gone upstairs while Cash, Evie, Train and Jewell were still dancing.
“Are you having a good time?”
Lily smiled up at Shade. “Yes, I am.”
“Don’t seem so surprised,” Shade said, his thigh sliding between her legs as his hand dropped to circle her waist.
“I just thought it would be wilder.”
“It is, upstairs.”
She blushed, turning her eyes away. “If you want to go upstairs, I won’t mind.”
“Shut up. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Lily smiled, relieved that he didn’t feel like he was missing out.
When Shade lowered his head, his lips briefly touching hers, Lily didn’t move away from the brief encounter. The seductive movements of his body and the music heightened her awareness of him.
As Shade’s mouth lowered again, lingering against hers, Lily felt the pressure of his lips, enjoying the feel of them. When his tongue then slid along the seam of her lips, she gasped. Shade took advantage, sliding his tongue inside of her mouth.
Lily’s hands grabbed his t-shirt, but she didn’t push him away. She thought the tangy flavor of the beer he had drunk would repulse her, but it didn’t. The silky warmth of his tongue against hers had her indecisive about what to do next. Before she could decide, Shade lifted his head, continuing to dance as if nothing had happened.
She didn’t know what to think or feel; she then decided she didn’t have to do either. She had to learn to not over-think everything. She should take Rachel’s advice and roll with whatever happened between her and Shade. It had just been a kiss, something girls her age did every day without even thinking anything about it.
It was just a kiss, she kept telling herself. Then why does it feel like so much more? she asked herself. Why did it feel like a tiny seed of desire had been planted and was waiting to grow into a special something? It was miraculous that she had believed herself incapable of ever wanting or needing something like that.
The music ended and Shade stepped back. “Want to get something to drink?”
“Yes.” It was becoming hot downstairs all of a sudden.
As Lily moved off the dance floor, Evie plopped down on the couch out of breath next to Jewell.
“I love your outfit, Lily. It looks all demur; then when you move, it shows that rockin’ body of yours. I might need to borrow it for the next party,” Jewell complimented.
Lily’s mouth dropped open. Now she understood that look on her sister’s face and Shade getting her to get up and get him a drink. Lily glared at Shade.
“The drinks are all gone. I’ll go get some more,” Shade said, the coward making his escape.
As Train and Cash both went upstairs, saying they were going to grab some pizza, Jewell got up from the couch, going to the floor, and began dancing. When she twirled on the pole, Lily realized the women did use it to pole dance.
Evie glanced at her when Jewell really got going, sliding up and down the pole.
“I bet the men miss that with me living down here now,” Lily remarked ruefully.
“Forget the men. The women miss it. It’s great exercise for us. It’ll take me months to get rid of the inch I’ve gained on my thighs.
“I’m used to exercising on one, too. I might use it when no one is around. I know a great exercise that will take that inch off in no time.”
“Really? What is it?” Evie’s interest was sparked and she urged Lily to show her the exercise.
Since all of the men were out of the room, Lily got up, going to the stripper pole. Jewell moved back a step, watching curiously.
Lily started spinning, wrapping her leg around it. Not lifting it high, just winding her leg around it. Carefully tucking in her loose skirt, she leaned backwards, arching her back as she let her thigh hold her weight. Rising up unconsciously, she timed her movements with the beat of the music then leaned back again.
“It’s great not only for the thighs but your stomach muscles, as well. Just don’t let your arms do the work for you; let your tummy and thigh muscles do it,” Lily informed Evie. When she didn’t make a remark, Lily rose up, noticing her eyes were on the foot of the steps.
She turned to see what Ev
ie was staring at. Shade stood there with his hands full of beer and sodas while Cash had a plate of pizza that was about to slide off with his mouth hanging open, and Train was right behind them, crushing a bag of chips in his hands.
“I was just showing Evie an exercise I learned in my pole class,” Lily said, jerking her leg down from the pole and straightening her skirt.
“Could you show me that move again? I have a few pounds I need to lose,” Train asked seriously.
Lily didn’t miss the threatening glare Shade gave him as he set the drinks down on the side table.
She went to get one, picking an orange soda. Before she could take a seat, Shade pulled her back down on his lap. This time she didn’t try to wiggle away, afraid she would spill her drink.
As she got settled, Stori came down the stairs dressed in a bunny outfit that was even more suggestive than Jewell’s. She began dancing with a member from Ohio—who Lily wasn’t really familiar with—and the biker put his hand on her butt, grinding her closer to his hips.
Lily looked away, seeing Jewell and Train resuming their dancing. Evie and Cash also started dancing.
“You never told me you knew how to pole dance.”
Lily turned bright red. “My gym at college taught an exercise class using the pole.”
“Lord have mercy,” Shade muttered.
Lily couldn’t help herself, laughing at his expression as she playfully hit his chest. Shade’s hand went to the back of her neck, tugging her head down to his and catching her mouth. She relaxed against him, letting him have it. When his tongue slid between her lips, her head fell to his shoulder; Shade moved slightly until he leaned her backward against the arm of the couch and he was above her.
Her arms slid around his neck as she thought about the fact she was actually kissing him with the other couples in the room. They were in a dark corner and no one was paying attention; nothing more was happening than what she had seen at the few parties she had attended. This time, however, she was part of the couple necking in the corner.
Before she had time to think any further about it, Shade’s hand flattened against her flat stomach then slid up to her shoulder, raising her back up to a sitting position. “Let’s dance.”