I saw Sunya before she saw me. She was running down the hill towards the post office. Her hijab flew out behind her and she really did look like a superhero, zooming through the air. In Maths last Friday, when I asked Sunya if she ever takes the hijab off, she snorted with laughter. I only wear it outside the house or if people come round. I said Why do you have to cover up and she said Because it says so in The Koran. And I said What’s The Koran and she said It’s sort of like The Bible. And that is the thing about Christians and Muslims – they both have a God and they both have a book. They are just called different names.
Sunya sprinted to the post box and grabbed my arm and pulled me back up the hill, talking all the time. I felt dead nervous. I’d never been inside a Muslim’s house before. I was worried that it would smell of curry like Dad said in London. I was scared that her family would be praying and talking in a different language. And I was frightened that Sunya’s dad would be making bombs in his bedroom. That’s what Dad said all Muslims do. And though I’d be surprised if Sunya’s dad was a terrorist, Dad told me that you never can tell and even the most innocent-looking people have explosives in their turbans.
When we walked through the door, a dog came bouncing up to Sunya. It was black and white with long ears and a wet nose and a tiny tail that wagged madly. Sammy the dog looked like an English pet and not a Muslim one. I sighed with relief. He was normal. And so was everything else. Sunya’s house was no different to mine. In the lounge there was a cream sofa and a nice rug and a mantelpiece that had all the right things on it – photos and candles and vases full of flowers not sisters. The only Muslim thing in the whole room was a picture of fancy buildings with domes and spires. Sunya said it was a holy place called Mecca and I laughed ’cos that was the name of the Bingo place down the road from our flat in Finsbury Park.
The kitchen was the most interesting. I’d expected it to smell of spice and have lots of big bowls full of exotic vegetables. But it was just like my kitchen except nicer ’cos there was a packet of Coco Pops on a shelf but no alcohol bottles and the bin just smelled of rubbish.
Sunya’s mum made chocolate milkshake and put a curly straw in my glass. She wore a blue headscarf and had Sunya’s sparkly eyes but her skin was lighter and her face was slower. More serious. Sunya’s face is fast. It changes ten times a minute. Her eyes grow and shrink and her freckle jumps about and her eyebrows wiggle when she talks. Sunya’s mum is calm and kind and clever. She’s got a strong accent, not like Sunya, and my name sounds different when she says it. She doesn’t seem like the type of woman who would marry a bomber, but you never know.
We drank our milkshakes in Sunya’s room. We were thirsty ’cos we’d been jumping off the bed and seeing who could stay in the air the longest. ’Cos I am Spider-Man, I had to touch the ceiling and try to stick there for as long as possible. And ’cos Sunya is Girl M, she had to flap her hijab and try to hover above the carpet. In the end it was a draw.
A whole clump of hair had come free from Sunya’s pink headscarf, the most I had ever seen. It was thick and glossy and nicer than all the hair in those shampoo adverts where the women toss their heads from side to side. And I said it was so sad that The Koran made her cover up her hair like it was a bad thing. Sunya slurped the last bit of chocolate milkshake and said I don’t cover up my hair because it is bad. I cover it up because it is good. This was confusing so I kept quiet and blew a chocolate bubble. Sunya put down her glass and said Mum saves her hair for Dad. No other man can see it. It makes it more special and I asked Like a present and she said Yeah. I thought how much better it would have been if Mum had saved her hair for Dad rather than showing it to Nigel, and I said I understand.
Sunya smiled and I smiled and I was just wondering what our hands would do when her mum came into the bedroom with some sandwiches. There were cheese ones and turkey ones and they were cut into triangles, but I couldn’t eat them. I’ve always hated that game Pass The Parcel ’cos the music never stops on me so I never get to open anything. And Sunya’s hijab looked exactly like pink wrapping paper and I imagined her disappearing, bright and sparkly and perfect, before I could sneak a look under the outer layer.
Sunya had her mouth full of bread so I couldn’t tell what she was saying at first. But then she swallowed and said Do you miss Rose and it was the first time we’d talked about her since the storeroom nine days ago. I nodded my head and opened my mouth and I was about to say Yes like a robot. But then I realised I had never been asked that question before. It’s always You must miss Rose, or I bet you miss Rose, but never DO you miss Rose, like there’s a choice. So I stopped my head nodding and I changed the word in my throat and I said No. Then I smiled ’cos nothing bad had happened and the world hadn’t fallen to bits and Sunya didn’t even look shocked. I repeated it. Louder this time. No. And then, feeling braver, I looked all around and said something else. I don’t miss Rose one bit.
Sunya said I don’t miss my rabbit either and I said When did it die and Sunya said Patch got eaten by a fox two years ago. And I said How old is Sammy and she said Two. Dad bought him when Patch died because he knew I’d be upset. And that didn’t sound like the kind of thing a terrorist would do, and when I walked past her parents’ bedroom on the way to the loo, there weren’t any signs of bombs either.
After lunch we climbed trees and sat on branches that shook in the wind. Leaves swirled around the garden and clouds raced across the sky and everything felt fresh and free like the Earth was really just a big dog sticking its head out of a speeding car’s window. I asked Sunya if her dad was English and she said He was born in Bangladesh and I said Where’s that and she said Near India. I can’t imagine a place like that. The furthest I’ve been is Costa del Sol in Spain, which is hotter than England but not that different. There are cafes that serve Full English Breakfasts and I had sausages and ketchup every single morning for two weeks. So I asked What’s it like and she said No idea but my dad prefers it here and I said Why did he move and she said My grandpa came in 1974 to find a job in London. This seemed like a long way to go to look for work. Couldn’t he have gone to the job centre in Bangladesh I asked and Sunya just laughed. I suddenly wanted to know everything about her. All these questions charged from my brain to my mouth and the first one to get out was How did your family end up in the Lake District. Sunya’s legs swung back and forwards under the branch as she spoke. My grandpa made my dad work hard and stay out of trouble and go to medical school as far away from London as possible. He went to Lancaster and met my mum and they got married and moved here. It was love at first sight she added, turning to look at me, her legs suddenly still. All the questions I wanted to ask evaporated from my brain like that steam we learned about in Science. Love at first sight I repeated and Sunya nodded, then smiled, before jumping right out of the tree.
I made sure I was home by five. When I walked into the cottage, Roger ran out as though he’d been waiting for someone to open the front door. The hall was full of thick smoke. I hope you like it crispy Dad said when I walked into the kitchen. He’d set the table and had lit a candle and Jas was already sitting there with her hair all flicked out and fancy, a huge smile on her face. I couldn’t believe it. Dad had made a roast dinner and it didn’t matter one bit that the chicken was black on top.
The roast potatoes were too greasy and the gravy was too salty and the vegetables were too soggy but I ate every last bit to make up for the fact Jas didn’t touch hers. I would have eaten the Yorkshire puddings as well if they hadn’t been stuck to the baking tray. We were having a great time and actually talking for once when Dad started to say stuff about Sunya. Did you know Jamie’s got a girlfriend he asked. Jas gasped as my stomach dropped. You haven’t she squealed and I went red. It’s the deodorant she laughed. That’s what it is. Dad winked at Jas. She’s called Sonya and seems really nice. Young love he teased, and I said Daaaaad in this groany-proud sort of way that didn’t ask him to stop.
Jas cleared her throat. I knew what was coming
and I gnawed at a chicken leg like Sammy the dog. She said While we’re on the subject, there’s something I should tell you. Dad dropped his fork. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Dad stared down at the table. Jas cut a carrot into tiny pieces. I dipped my fingers in the gravy on my plate. I was just sucking them clean when Dad said Okay without looking up. And Jas squeaked Okay, and Dad sighed Okay, and I felt left out so I said it too. But no one heard ’cos Jas had jumped up and she’d wrapped her arms around Dad and was giving him the first hug I had ever seen. And Jas’s face was flushed and happy, but Dad’s was tight with a sadness I didn’t understand.
Jas sang as she washed up. I stopped drying the plates and looked right at her. You really have got a good voice. She replied I’m not entering that crap contest and I said I know and she said So tell me about this girlfriend of yours. I thought about Sunya’s freckle and her shiny hair and sparkling eyes and laughing lips and brown fingers and I said She is beautiful before I could stop myself. Jas pretended to be sick into the washing up bowl so I whipped her with the towel and then we were laughing. Dad came into the kitchen to put the pots away and tell us off for being silly. We were like a proper family and for once I didn’t miss Mum. The silver lion stared at us through the cottage window. It may just have been Roger, but I thought I heard a purr.
THERE WERE THOUSANDS of stars above the cottage, no clouds and the moon was fat. It looked like a saucer of milk and I showed it to Roger. He’d followed me outside and was sitting on my lap, staring at the sky with his clever green eyes. Neither of us could sleep and I was glad he was there to keep me company. My fingers were keeping warm in his fur and I could feel his heart beating against my knees. The night smelled cold and secret like the storeroom and I wondered if Sunya was asleep underneath the blue duvet I’d seen in her bedroom two days ago. And then I felt guilty for thinking about her so I shook my head and blinked three times and stared into the pond, remembering the rules on the rock that God threw at this weird man called Moses.
Today Mrs Farmer said that if we wanted to go to Heaven, we all had to follow The Ten Commandments. She said God gave them to Moses on a stone up a hill and they are the rules that we should all live by. At first I wasn’t really listening ’cos to be honest Heaven doesn’t sound that great. As far as I can tell it is just full of angels singing carols and everything is a bit too bright so I am going to make sure that I am buried with some sunglasses. But then Mrs Farmer said Number five is one of the most important: respect your mother and father, and all of a sudden I felt bad. Having triangle sandwiches with a Muslim is not respecting Dad one little bit.
There was a tinkle of bracelets as Sunya’s hand shot into the air. What happens if you break the rules she said, before Mrs Farmer had asked her to speak. Don’t interrupt the teacher said. Do you go to Hell Sunya continued, her eyes wide. And is the devil there. Mrs Farmer went pale and folded her arms. She glanced at the clouds on the notice board and then at Daniel. He stared at Sunya as if he couldn’t believe she was bringing it all up again. She ignored him and scratched her temple. What does the devil look like she asked sweetly and the class started to laugh. Sunya didn’t even smile. She kept her eyes all huge and curious. Daniel’s mouth was a big black O in his bright red face. That’s quite enough Mrs Farmer said, and the words sounded strange ’cos they were being pushed through the tiny gaps in her clenched teeth and made me think of cheese being grated. Let’s look at the other commandments.
Sunya winked at me and I did it back but rule five made me feel guilty. Respect your mother and father. That’s what God said. And there I was winking at a Muslim, like it was okay to do something Dad would hate. I suddenly realised that it didn’t matter if my angel jumped up every single cloud and got to the top of the display in the classroom. If there was a real Heaven rather than one cut out of gold cardboard, I wouldn’t get in ’cos I was breaking a commandment. And for some reason that made me think of Rose. I don’t know where her spirit is, but if it is in Heaven, I bet it’s really lonely. I imagined Rose’s ghost all alone on a white cloud, no elbow, no collarbone, no family or friends. I couldn’t get the picture out of my head and it gave me a sickness that lasted all day and stopped me from sleeping.
The bush rustled and Roger jumped off my lap and crept into the night, his belly brushing the long grass. I leaned over the pond and tried to find my fish in the silvery water. He was hidden underneath a lily pad and all on his own so I gave him a stroke. He swam up to my fingers and nibbled them as though they were food. I wondered where his parents had gone. Maybe he had left them in a river or the sea. Or maybe the pond was some sort of Fish Heaven and the rest of his family weren’t dead yet. And even though I knew that was impossible, I felt so sad for my lonely old fish that I kept him company for ages and probably would have stayed there all night if the rabbit hadn’t started squealing.
I put my hands over my ears and shut my eyes as tight as they would go but the squeal was difficult to block out. The next thing I knew, Roger was at my side rubbing his head against my elbow, a dead rabbit tossed at my knees. I didn’t want to look but I couldn’t stop my eyes, like when someone’s got food or a birthmark on their face and you keep staring at it by accident. The rabbit was only a baby. Its body was tiny and its fur was all fluffy and its ears looked brand new. I tried to touch its nose but every time my finger got near the whiskers, my body jerked away as if I’d been electrocuted. I didn’t want to leave the rabbit there but I couldn’t bring myself to touch it so in the end I found two twigs and used them like chopsticks. I grabbed the rabbit by one of its ears and carried it away from the pond and dropped it by the bush. I covered the rabbit with grass, leaves, anything I could find. Roger purred at my side as if he’d done me a favour.
I crouched down and looked him in the eye and told him about commandment six. Thou shalt not murder. Roger purred even harder, his tail stuck up proudly. He just didn’t get it and I felt angry with my cat. I let him back in the cottage but I shut my bedroom door in his face and then I tried to sleep. For the first time ever, I dreamed about Rose.
Mrs Farmer has stuck The Ten Commandments on the wall opposite my chair. Even if I wanted to forget all about rule five, it would be impossible. It’s like Dad’s eyeballs are pinned on the display, watching me.
At the start of Maths, Sunya kept whispering What’s wrong and I kept saying Nothing but I couldn’t look at her without thinking of Rose. Eventually she said Fine then and asked me if I had any more ideas for revenge. Sunya’s brothers don’t think it’s right to beat up a ten year old so we need a new plan. She’s desperate to defeat Daniel but I don’t want to do it. She keeps saying If you let him get away with it then he will just do it again but I don’t think that’s true. Daniel likes to win and now he has won he’s lost interest. He hasn’t bullied me for ages. He hasn’t kicked me or punched me or called me Dickhead for days. It’s over and I lost and that’s okay.
Well, it’s not okay but I can’t win so I am being a good loser. In Wimbledon there is this tennis player who gets to the final a lot but never gets the trophy. Everyone always says things like He is a gentleman and Excellent sportsmanship ’cos he just smiles and shrugs and accepts that he is second best. So I am doing that ’cos if I tried to beat Daniel then I’d lose and get my head kicked in.
Halfway through Maths, Mrs Farmer said she had something Very Important to say. The hairs on her mole started to shake and her chin was all trembly. She said Ofsted are coming and glanced at the door as if they were about to charge in. Ofsted sounded like an army or something, and I was just wondering if they’d have guns when Mrs Farmer said They are Inspectors. Daniel’s hand shot into the air and he said My dad’s a Chief Inspector in the police. Mrs Farmer said That’s enough boasting and Sunya laughed out loud on purpose. Mrs Farmer said These Inspectors are not from the police. They are special men and women who examine schools and give them a grade – Outstanding, Good, Satisfactory or Poor. Her face was getting whiter and even her colourless eyes
seemed to fade. Next week they’ll watch me teach and it is Very Important to show the Inspectors how well we all work. It is Very Important to behave like good boys and girls. They might ask you questions and it is Very Important to be polite and clever and to say nice things about our class. Sunya grinned. I knew exactly what she was thinking. I wanted to smile back but I didn’t.
At playtime I spent twelve minutes in the toilets respecting Dad. I put my hands under the dryer, pretending it was a fire-breathing monster. My hands were getting burned and the flames were so hot but I was tough enough to take it and I didn’t even scream. It was a good game but not as good as sitting on the bench or going through the secret door with Sunya. But I can’t do that any more. Just in case there is a Heaven and Rose’s spirit is stuck up there alone, God has to let me in too. So I need to follow The Ten Commandments. All of them. Including number five.
It’s been two days since I spoke to Sunya. Dad has taken us to school and made tea every day since the roast so I think I am doing the right thing. It is hard though and my tummy twisted when I found the Blu-Tack ring in my drawer. It should be easier now we are not friends, but it was better when she kept asking me What’s wrong and Why are you being weird. At least I could hear her voice, then.
I feel like one of those drug addicts in films that do nothing but think about tablets and the less they have them the more they want them until they go crazy and rob a supermarket to get the money. I’m not saying I will rob the school tuck shop or anything. I don’t think Sunya would be my friend even if I gave her all the chocolate in the receptionist’s cupboard, which is where the tuck shop is held on Wednesday and Friday playtimes.